Frontal Assault Shows Impressive Assets

Frontal Assault Shows Impressive Assets 32

Posted by simoniker on Tuesday August 05, 2003 @02:41AM from the carry-on-sniggering dept.

Thanks to InsertCredit for pointing out the freely downloadable PC game, Frontal Assault, which has been entered in the same Finnish Assembly demo-scene party games competition as the recently-covered Truck Dismount. Frontal Assault is a puzzle-action game where "The idea is to perform various moves on breasts. The move icons float [on] to the screen and you must make the move before the icon disappears." Moves you must replicate by on-screen bosom twirling, using the PC's mouse, include the 'bounce' and the 'helicopter' in this decidedly bizarre title, which has also been tested by the authors to work under Wine for Linux users.

Frontal Assault Shows Impressive Assets

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Alright. (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes:

Ok, where's the nude patch?
- Re:Alright. (Score:1)
  
  by ZorMonkey ( 653731 ) writes:
  
  Delete or rename the NO-XRATED file in the data directory. Yes really. I feel slightly dirty for finding that. :P
Moves on Breasts (Score:2, Insightful)

by narratorDan ( 137402 ) writes:

"The idea is to perform various moves on breasts."

Wow, thats not a typo.
Bouncing boobs.

NarratorDan
- Fascinating, from a purely adolescent standpoint. (Score:4, Informative)
  
  by Tediak ( 249766 ) writes: on Tuesday August 05, 2003 @02:52AM (#6613207)
  
  Delete the file NO-XRATED in the Data folder. I think the effect is probably self-explanatory.
  
- Re:Moves on Breasts (Score:5, Funny)
  
  by narratorDan ( 137402 ) writes: <narratordan@gmail.com> on Tuesday August 05, 2003 @02:55AM (#6613216)
  
  Thank god that someone made this game, I was running out of girlfriends trying to get a better high score in real life.
  
  NarratorDan
  
  - Re:Moves on Breasts (Score:1)
    
    by Goldberg's Pants ( 139800 ) writes:
    
    Quite possibly the saddest game I've ever seen.
    
    I imagine certain geeks will takes this as sex advice. I can only imagine how horrified any woman they ever managed to get naked will be when said geek starts smacking their breasts going "helicopter!"
Boobies! (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes:

A title like that would've garnered a lot more attention to this article...
- Re:Boobies! (Score:1)
  
  by Goldberg's Pants ( 139800 ) writes:
  
  And would have done a better job of attracting the audience this pathetic game is meant for.
  
  Stick to Truck Dismount if you're over the age of 15.
Hooookayyyy.... (Score:3, Insightful)

by skinfitz ( 564041 ) writes: on Tuesday August 05, 2003 @03:15AM (#6613291) Journal

Looks like someone needs to get himself a girlfriend...

- Re:Hooookayyyy.... (Score:4, Funny)
  
  by 0x0d0a ( 568518 ) writes: on Tuesday August 05, 2003 @04:21AM (#6613476) Journal
  
  Girlfriends have a low initial price, but a surprisingly high TCO.
  
  - Re:Hooookayyyy.... (Score:2)
    
    by skinfitz ( 564041 ) writes:
    
    Girlfriends have a low initial price, but a surprisingly high TCO.
    
    I hear it's even more expensive if you fall outside of a support contract...
  - Re:Hooookayyyy.... (Score:3)
    
    by immanis ( 557955 ) writes:
    
    Believe it or not, they have a rather high ROI.
- Re:Hooookayyyy.... (Score:1)
  
  by XMunkki ( 533952 ) writes:
  
  Well I do, but no way in earth would I do something like this to her (unless she specifically asks for it :).
Stuff that matters (Score:3, Insightful)

by Kris_J ( 10111 ) writes: on Tuesday August 05, 2003 @03:48AM (#6613377) Homepage Journal

Slashdot, where the editors celebrate the opening of an envelope.

Frontal Assault II (Score:5, Funny)

by Chuck Chunder ( 21021 ) writes: on Tuesday August 05, 2003 @03:55AM (#6613403) Journal

Presumably involves knees and testicles.

Nude Patch (Score:5, Informative)

by 0x20 ( 546659 ) writes: on Tuesday August 05, 2003 @04:06AM (#6613431) Homepage

Remove the file "NO-XRATED" in the Data folder. then when you run the game, right-click instead of left-clicking. (If you're, uh, over 18.)

- Re:Nude Patch (Score:1)
  
  by neosake ( 655724 ) writes:
  
  ...right-click instead of left-clicking. (If you're, uh, over 18.)
  
  Don't you mean you'd have to be under 18 to be right-clicking
  ;-)
Punishment (Score:5, Funny)

by immanis ( 557955 ) writes: <immanis.sfgoth@com> on Tuesday August 05, 2003 @04:38AM (#6613522) Homepage Journal

I think it's great that Slashdot can keep abrest of these things. I mean, these guys deserve a trophy, or at least a cup.

The way they manage to implant a story like this amongst the other titillating headlines... One wouldn't think they had the rackspace to allow for little stories like this.

I probably look like I'm sucking up, and I do feel a bit of a boob. But I really have to say, things have really perked up around here.

Ok, it's official. This post is a bust.

I'm done now.

- Re:Punishment (Score:2)
  
  by FortKnox ( 169099 ) writes:
  
  KUDOS!! LMFAO!
  
  Best. comment. ever! :-)
- Re:/. needs a pr0n section? (Score:3)
  
  by Echnin ( 607099 ) writes:
  
  Did you try the game? It's fun. :-)
  - Re:/. needs a pr0n section? (Score:1)
    
    by Goldberg's Pants ( 139800 ) writes:
    
    Did you try the game? It's fun. :-)
    
    Spoken like someone who has never actually touched a real, live breast, let alone kissed one.
    
    Accidentally formatting your hard drive is more fun than this game.
    
    The sad thing is, this will probably win the competition, purely because it's got breasts in it, and most demo coders (at least that I've known) have little to no exposure to women, so playing with virtual breasts is probably the high point of their sex lives.
    - - Re:/. needs a pr0n section? (Score:1)
        
        by Goldberg's Pants ( 139800 ) writes:
        
        Not AC, but quite happily married here too:)
        
        You see developers putting stuff like this out, and then you'll see articles saying "why aren't more women gamers?" Well could it be because most of you fucktards only portray women as objects in games? And if they're not just eye candy, they're ridiculously proportioned. (Christ, Lara Croft wouldn't be able to get out of bed!)
        
        Note to developers: Instead of beings sexist jerks, try actually designing believable, realistic female characters that are neither sex o
Perhaps I'm just childish... (Score:1)

by slusich ( 684826 ) writes:

But this really looks fun. I think we need more games with breasts!
- Re:Perhaps I'm just childish... (Score:1)
  
  by Rethcir ( 680121 ) writes:
  
  I didn't know Eidos executives posted on slashdot!
  - Re:Perhaps I'm just childish... (Score:1)
    
    by Goldberg's Pants ( 139800 ) writes:
    
    hehehehe
    
    The breasts in the game are rather Lara Croftish...
very last post (Score:1)

by muirhead ( 698086 ) writes:

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Frontal Assault Shows Impressive Assets 32

Frontal Assault Shows Impressive Assets More Login

Frontal Assault Shows Impressive Assets

Alright. (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Alright. (Score:1)

Moves on Breasts (Score:2, Insightful)

Fascinating, from a purely adolescent standpoint. (Score:4, Informative)

Re:Moves on Breasts (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Moves on Breasts (Score:1)

Boobies! (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Boobies! (Score:1)

Hooookayyyy.... (Score:3, Insightful)

Re:Hooookayyyy.... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Hooookayyyy.... (Score:2)

Re:Hooookayyyy.... (Score:3)

Re:Hooookayyyy.... (Score:1)

Stuff that matters (Score:3, Insightful)

Frontal Assault II (Score:5, Funny)

Nude Patch (Score:5, Informative)

Re:Nude Patch (Score:1)

Punishment (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Punishment (Score:2)

Re:/. needs a pr0n section? (Score:3)

Re:/. needs a pr0n section? (Score:1)

Re:/. needs a pr0n section? (Score:1)

Perhaps I'm just childish... (Score:1)

Re:Perhaps I'm just childish... (Score:1)

Re:Perhaps I'm just childish... (Score:1)

very last post (Score:1)

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