Blizzard to Boll - DENIED!

Drathos writes "From MTV Movies Blog by way of WoW Insider: Everyone's least favorite director, Uwe Boll approached Blizzard about making a World of Warcraft movie. Their response? "We will not sell the movie rights, not to you ... especially not to you.""

WoW Movie

[Obsi (912791)]

Why couldn't Peter Jackson and some of Blizzard's cinematics team get together on it? I mean, Jackson DID take a large, well fleshed out world and adapt it to screen with AWESOME results.

Re:

[Serenissima (1210562)]

He definitely did a decent job. I wouldn't go so far as saying it was an "AWESOME" job. It had good actors, great special effect, and story line hacked apart like a Hannibal Lector movie.

Re:WoW Movie

[Cornflake917 (515940)]

The GP didn't say Jackson did an "AWESOME" job, he said that the results were awesome, which is hard to argue considering the success of the films.

However, I think he did a great job. Look at any book-to-movie adaption, aside from movies based off books that read like a movie, the movies always fail to capture everything from the book. Given the herculean task of moving the trilogy to less than 10 hours of film, I don't think anyone could have done a better job. Yes, there were some important parts missing but unless you enjoy sitting down for 5 hours straight (I don't), something had to be cut.

Re:

[by Anonymous Coward]

[...] unless you enjoy sitting down for 5 hours straight (I don't), something had to be cut.

I'm in a wheelchair, you insensitive clod!

Re:WoW Movie

[Raul654 (453029)]

"Look at any book-to-movie adaption, aside from movies based off books that read like a movie, the movies always fail to capture everything from the book." - this is a textbook example of a No true Scotsman argument [wikipedia.org].

Re:WoW Movie

[Dr. Cody (554864)]

Yes, there were some important parts missing but unless you enjoy sitting down for 5 hours straight (I don't), something had to be cut.

In regards to a WoW film, I think you may be on to something.

Re:WoW Movie

[mdarksbane (587589)]

I think most complaints I've heard have been less about cuts than about pointless, damaging changes or additions.

There are probably 15-30 minutes of changed or added scenes in both Two Towers and Return of the King that changed characters and took up time that could have been either a) made the movies shorter and more palatable or b) been used to include more of the good stuff from the book.

I think overall he did a great job of capturing the look of the whole thing, and a decent job of capturing the main thrust of most of the characters - but some of the changes just kind of.. sucked, from a logical standpoint. Not to mention the character assassination on Faramir.

Re:WoW Movie

[by Anonymous Coward]

...and straight-out changed things that were completely contrary to what actually happened.

ummm...you realize that orcs are fake and that none of that ever happened right?

Re:WoW Movie

[Omestes (471991)]

Don't forget Gimli being mainly comic relief. This still bugs me. You could have removed Gimli from the movie completely, and it would have been like removing the monkey from Speed Racer, a better experience.

In the book he was useful, somewhat noble, and not terribly amusing.

Re:WoW Movie

[Xest (935314)]

I have to agree in a way, I've always liked the Warcraft series games and have always felt Warcraft III had one of the best storylines of any game I'd played.

I'd honestly rather see Blizzards people do the majority of the work as I honestly think they could do an as good if not better than job than Hollywood could. If it was animated I doubt they'd need much outside help, if not then primarily they'd just need actors and costumes people - certainly I don't believe they'd need any effects people or writers.

There are differences between film and game storyline creation certainly, but I think they could probably do it, certainly as you say with the help of a "game-friendly" director such as Jackson rather than someone whose about as good with the difference between films and games as Boll.

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[Rayonic (462789)]

There's an ongoing meme that WoW is "using up" lore created from previous Warcraft games. And I'd have to say that this is true to an extent. We seem to be systematically killing all major lore villains, or helping the good ones resolve pre-existing plotlines.

Of course, WoW has come up with a lot of great original material. New villains/factions/etc. But we usually end up killing them also.

I can see WoW going on for a few more expansions, but after a certain point it'll get silly. Didn't Blizzard origi

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[bukowski01 (901465)]

Blizzard is already in the process of making a movie. In fact they have already snagged the studio that did 300 for the filming.

Re:WoW Movie

[Wreckdom (1263852)]

As a former WoW (Horde) gamer I can see two kinds of responses to a WoW movie: 1) People who don't care. 2) People who are too hooked on Wow to care.

Re:WoW Movie

[Culture20 (968837)]

There was a lot of parts that just really dragged on.

And a WoW movie will be different how? Grind, grind, grind. Grind, grind, grind. Raid! Grind, grind, grind.

Re:WoW Movie

[Trent Hawkins (1093109)]

And a WoW movie will be different how? Grind, grind, grind. Grind, grind, grind. Raid! Grind, grind, grind.

In movies it's called a montage [youtube.com]

Re:

[markov_chain (202465)]

Well, presumably with Jackson it *would* be different. Boll, on the other hand, would faithfully reproduce what you said--just look at his other FPS movies.

*run around in the dark*
*shoot a bunch of monsters*
*run around more*
*shoot more monsters*
etc.

Re:WoW Movie

[Impy the Impiuos Imp (442658)]

> Well, he (actually not him, the graphics effects people) did make [LotR] very pretty,
> but my overall level of excitement from the movie is pretty low. There was a lot
> of parts that just really dragged on.

So it was a very faithful reproduction of the books, then!

It could be worse

[markov_chain (202465)]

Any of you seen "Bad Taste?" :)

Re:WoW Movie

[Smauler (915644)]

Quit being an old man and address the point rather than attacking the perceived person. LOTR, IMO is dull, both in book and film form. Crap all happens very slowly, the storyline is contrived and very simple, and the vast majority of characters are simplistic in the extreme. If you like it, so be it. Don't start hurling insults when someone criticizes it, especially not ones that have nothing to do with the criticism. This is coming from someone who has read probably a couple of thousand books, and no I don't want your pacifying drugs.

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[pjt33 (739471)]

I have often commented that the Lord of the Rings trilogy suffers from exactly the same problem as War and Peace: it has lots of characters, many of whom have two or more names/titles, so you need notes to enable you to remember who they all are.

a shame

[by Anonymous Coward]

That's a shame, because if there's someone who could capture the sheer mundacity of WoW, I think it would be Boll.

Re:a shame

[Wylfing (144940)]

Fade in to a low fly-by of a dwarf on griffin-back swooping over the trees of Winterspring. Cut to three adventurers (a human warrior with impossibly enormous shoulder guards, a female night elf with thigh-high boots and no pants encircled by a shimmering bubble, and a goatee-sporting gnome shifting back and forth with two giant-sized red-hot-glowing maces in his hands) on the ground looking up at the passing griffin rider. The camera swings to track the speeding flyer. Cut to an absurdly massive axe, crackling with electrical energy, cleaving the head of a white furbolg.

HUMAN - Pile those corpses high, Ihealuloolzzz. Lilkneestaßßer needs that agility enchantment, and those greedy beasts in Timbermaw Hold won't give it to us unless we kill enough of their enemies!

IHEALULOOLZZZ - By the light of Elune, Tànkérlordd, it shall be done!

LILKNEESTAßßER - Off and away!

Cut to 9-minute montage of our heroic trio slaying thousands upon thousands of furbolgs. Intersperse clips of them ripping beaded necklaces from their slain foes, and other clips showing them spilling gold-bound chests full of these necklaces onto the floor in front of the Timbermaw denizens. Over the course of the montage, we repeatedly see the face of an important-looking Timbermaw shaman. At first the face is frowny and angry, but over time it appears friendlier and friendlier.

Re:a shame

[nawcom (941663)]

Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Re:a shame

[An ominous Cow art (320322)]

To capture the proper level of 'realism', our heroes would also have to be constantly jumping around, like brain-damaged Mexican jumping beans.

Very well done, otherwise - my undead warlock did that mind-numbing grind.

Re:a shame

[Darinbob (1142669)]

And don't forget the mailbox dancing scene for the unrated version.

May I proudly proclaim...

[dintech (998802)]

Woohoo! This is a proud day for both gaming and movie making.

Re:May I proudly proclaim...

[dintech (998802)]

I hope the gaming suits and executives trying to learn everything the can from Blizzard's business model extend their eduction to this example too.

I dunno...

[d3ac0n (715594)]

It can't be any worse than the WOW Pr0n I found on Pirate Bay recently.

Pr0n chicks in green and blue body-paint with fake elf-ears and horns.

Not nearly as hot as you would think it is. :(

Re:I dunno...

[Dancindan84 (1056246)]

Pr0n chicks in green and blue body-paint with fake elf-ears and horns.

Not nearly as hot as you would think it is. :(

Consult a doctor immediately. The kind with the couch.

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[DaveV1.0 (203135)]

Do not click. Malicious link. Just read the URL.

Come on, let's deal with this once and for all

[Ecuador (740021)]

We are still almost 800k signatures short. Guys, just sign the petition [petitiononline.com] and the nightmare will be over. (In case you missed it, Uwe said he will stop if 1 Million people ask him to.)

Re:Come on, let's deal with this once and for all

[Scutter (18425)]

Based on his open responses to the community, if you really think a petition will make him stop then I have this lovely bridge I'd like to sell you...

Fool! It's a trap!

[SatanicPuppy (611928)]

You're proving to the producers that 1,000,000 people know who he is...and care. That tells the money guys that giving him a pile of cash and the rights to a some beloved IP will capture the attention of 1,000,000 people at a minimum.

Seriously, the best thing you could have done was start a petition and have like 3 people sign it. I would show the people in charge that no one cares about him.

In a purely hypothetical case...

[Cadallin (863437)]

Wouldn't it be easier to just shoot him in the head?

Not that I'm suggesting anyone should. Just y'know, it'd be a lot more expedient than a petition.

you know nothing of trolls and pr

[circletimessquare (444983)]

the first rule of public relations is that there is no such thing as bad publicity. if you get your name out there, you can do something to cash in on that fame and/ or notoriety. a million signatures merely means a million people not only know who the guy is, but are actually passionate enough to go to a website and register their disgust for him

thus ensuring you will hear about uwe boll again and again forever

the only way you will ensure you will never hear of use boll again is to not mention him. btw, a front page slashdot story, unfortuantely, extends uwe boll's shelflife

love is basically the same as hate when it comes to garnishering attention. just ask any troll. the only way to defeat a real life troll like boll, just like online, is to IGNORE them. if you give them attention, they win

so any stupid petition ensures boll lives on and on. is that what you want?

I love Uwe

[elrous0 (869638)]

There I said it. I'm a huge film fan, and yes his movies are schlocky. But they're not meant to be serious cinema, just a little fun. Plus the guy is just a great character to have around. He openly insults other directors and movies (his recent take on the new Indiana Jones movies was dead-on, BTW), challenges critics to boxing matches, and is generally thrilled to be the director-you-love-to-hate. Personally, I think the guy is a genius.

And, being a big fan of the Postal videogame series, I think he is the PERFECT director to bring its warped sense-of-humor to the screen. I look forward to seeing the end result.

Re:I love Uwe

[IndustrialComplex (975015)]

There I said it. I'm a huge film fan, and yes his movies are schlocky. But they're not meant to be serious cinema, just a little fun. Plus the guy is just a great character to have around. He openly insults other directors and movies (his recent take on the new Indiana Jones movies was dead-on, BTW), challenges critics to boxing matches, and is generally thrilled to be the director-you-love-to-hate. Personally, I think the guy is a genius.

And, being a big fan of the Postal videogame series, I think he is the PERFECT director to bring its warped sense-of-humor to the screen. I look forward to seeing the end result.

Uwe Boll has a Slashdot account?

Now, here is the serious response. You credit Boll with openly criticizing... wait, you said insult, not critique. Insults other directors, resorts to basic animal reactions in response to critique, and takes pride that he is viewed as the worst possible thing that can happen to a story you enjoy.

The man isn't a director, he reminds me of an online griefer. If Uwe Boll was his nom-de-plume then I'd think he fell victim to the formula, Anonymity + Audience = Total Ass (to paraphrase for work audiences).

The man is a walking tax writeoff for movie studios.

Re:I love Uwe

[thebonafortuna (1050016)]

Who modded this "Flamebait"?

Note: Just because we don't agree, or disagree in the strongest terms possible, hardly means someone deserves to be punished for posting an honest, non-inflammatory, contradicting opinion.

If you disagree, go ahead and do so in a constructive way - by posting an intelligent rebuttal. But if punishing someone for taste were allowed on /., the boards would degenerate into Mac vs. PC, Xbox vs. PS3, Red vs. Blue, reasoned vs. impertinent...oh wait.

Blizzard and Quality

[Enderandrew (866215)]

I'm one of the few that doesn't play WoW, but I have a lot of respect for Blizzard's commitment to quality. They won't release a project they don't feel is up to their standards, and would rather take a huge loss than release a turd.

Twisted logic gem

[mwvdlee (775178)]

From the MTV blog:

And to be honest, the real gamers are the typical download guys, right? They don't pay anything for movies, because they illegally download the movies. So why I should please these guys?

If all these real gamers are the downloading guys, how come those games are sold so well that Uwe wants to license them?

I almost wish they would...

[sTalking_Goat (670565)]

Maybe the sheer horror of the experience would get some people to finally pull the WoW needle from their arms and I'd get some friends back.

For the Horde

[Pojut (1027544)]

The primary thing that pisses me off about the potential WoW movie is that from everything I have read, it looks like it's going to be told from the perspective of the Alliance.

Come on. Everyone knows the Alliance is for pussies. And so are Blood Elves.

Nice headline

[DeepZenPill (585656)]

...where are we, Digg?

Recurring Theme

[stewbacca (1033764)]

I sense a trend (from the Uwe Boll Wikipedia entry):

When rumors surfaced that Boll had expressed interest in a Metal Gear Solid movie, and claimed to have been given a script to read, Metal Gear creator Hideo Kojima responded in his audioblog HIDECHAN, "Absolutely not! I don't know why Uwe Boll is even talking about this kind of thing. We've never talked to him. It's impossible that we'd ever do a movie with him."

Uwe Boll = Ed Wood.

[guidryp (702488)]

I don't think Boll is any worse than a bunch of other anonymous directors turning out B movies. He just seem the most well known among them. This generations Ed Wood?

I recently watched the Dungeon Siege movie. It was no worse than a bunch of other Fantasy B movies. The performances were often better than what George Lucas extracts from people. Can we go back in time and petition Lucas never direct again? Maybe everything after Empire Strikes Back wouldn't suck then.

I don't get why people have against Boll. At least he never really ruined a good property. He makes B movies and you pretty much get what is expected.

Boll the character is often more entertaining than his movies. His smack talking about his next movie, postal was hilarious...

We may as well have Boll direct the low budget B movies, at least when we see his name, we will know what to expect.

Re:Uwe Boll = Ed Wood.

[nuzak (959558)]

> This generations Ed Wood?

No, Ed Wood really loved movies, and poured his wholly incompetent heart and soul into making them. Uwe Boll finds cheap franchises and exploits them for a tax loophole. All his upcoming titles were in production before the loophole was closed. We'll see what happens when his funding dries up.

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[superash (1045796)]

Not a problem for bender! (... kiss my shiny metal ass :)

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[Culture20 (968837)]

"I don't like having discs crammed into me... unless they're Oreos... and then only in the mouth." -Fry

Re:Trey Parker & Matt Stone

[SatanicPuppy (611928)]

I don't know...I can't even imagine how boring the movie would be.

"Now we go to fight the ultimate evil!"
"Wait, we don't have the key to his front door."
"Who cares? Can't we break in?"
"No! The door is too powerful! We have to spend days of our lives getting the parts of the key and forging them together!"
"The door is too powerful? Fine. You guys go get the key..."
"Sorry, sir, we ALL need a key. So we each have to go on the key quest separately, though of course we can help each other."
"WHAT? That doesn't make any sense!"
"The door works in mysterious ways, sir."

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[elrous0 (869638)]

You dream about WoW at night? No offense, but you need a break dude.