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Sedate Your Kids While They Play

Posted by samzenpus on Thu May 21, 2009 01:38 PM
from the nap-time dept.
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If your child won't sit still at the dentist, the doctor, or the kitchen table, you need the PediSedate Helmet. The device consisting of a colorful headset that connects to a game component or a portable CD player. After a snorkel attachment goes into the child's mouth, the helmet will monitor respiratory function and distribute nitrous oxide or anesthetic gas. The company website states, "The child comfortably becomes sedated while playing with a Nintendo Game Boy system or listening to music. This dramatically improves the hospital or dental experience for the child, parents and healthcare providers."
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  • Adults? (Score:5, Funny)

    by WilyCoder (736280) on Thursday May 21 2009, @01:41PM (#28043575)

    Do they make an adult model? Where's my checkbook....

  • Hmm... (Score:4, Informative)

    by FlyingSquidStudios (1031284) on Thursday May 21 2009, @01:42PM (#28043595) Homepage
    I smell Joey Skaggs [wikipedia.org] at work.
  • by Anonymous Coward

    ... seems to suggest otherwise that the device doesn't really work properly. They need a picture of a kid with eyes like X_X and maybe his tongue hanging out for good measure.

    Then I'd buy it. For... medical purposes. Yes.

  • This device (Score:5, Funny)

    by fuzzyfuzzyfungus (1223518) on Thursday May 21 2009, @01:42PM (#28043599) Journal
    Is CE marked, UL listed, and Pedobear approved!
  • by MuChild (656741) on Thursday May 21 2009, @01:42PM (#28043601)
    ...why do they need the video game? Once it kicks in you could amputate at the knee and recieve only chuckles in response.
    • Not a parent, huh? You have to get them to cooperate enough to get the nitrous dispenser hooked onto their face. If they view the headset as a toy to be used while videogaming, you're far more likely to get them to cooperate.

      • by twidarkling (1537077) on Thursday May 21 2009, @03:14PM (#28045149)

        Are kids really going to fall for that? They're not stupid. They know the gameboy or CD player works without that helmet. They're not going to suddenly be fooled by someone going "Jimmy! Your CD player needs this large, indimidating helmet, and a tube stuck down your throat to work!"

        You'd have more luck taking House's approach, and take a hit of nitrous yourself before strapping it to the kid.

    • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

      by vidarh (309115)
      Nitrous doesn't prevent pain in most people to any great degree. It mostly make you care less and react less to it and give a sense of wellbeing.

      I've used it while at the dentist (though not any more - it's too expensive to be worth it), and it was nowhere near strong enough to replace a novocaine injection or others for anything but the most trivial stuff that I wouldn't have minded doing without any sedation at all anyway.

      It was however a very pleasant addition. When I had nitrous, I was in the chair

  • Huh, I always wondered what those weird helmets and head gear on everybody, especially children, in those old 1950's cheesy sci-fi movies, were for. I guess I know now...
  • What ? (Score:2, Insightful)

    How come this kind of posts even make it to the main page? That too into Game section, in which way this falls into game category? aah forget it.

  • by Daimanta (1140543) on Thursday May 21 2009, @01:45PM (#28043661) Journal

    It's a joke.

    I think.
    I hope.
    God, don't let this be true.

    • Of course it's a joke, just like the "ball and chain with a time" joke. It's a felony for anyone to administer any kind of general anesthetic other than a licensed anesthetologist, mostly because generals are moderately dangerous. Last I heard, the most like reason you'd die on the operating table was a problem with the general.

    • by HasselhoffThePaladin (1191269) on Thursday May 21 2009, @01:55PM (#28043881)
      I especially like the triad of concepts at the top of the logo: Distraction, Comfort, Sedation. Sounds like the perfect date-rape process. For the record, IANAR.
  • by ForestGrump (644805) on Thursday May 21 2009, @01:48PM (#28043723) Homepage Journal

    What happened to good ol parenting and talking the kid through the procedure with soothing words like, "just one more and we'll be done"

  • by ilblissli (1480165) on Thursday May 21 2009, @01:50PM (#28043745) Homepage Journal
    what the hell ever happened to smacking your kid upside his head and making him behave? ughhhh i'm really feeling my age when i can now say things like "in my day we didn't have video game sedation helmets...."
    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by geekoid (135745)

      Those children grew up to be a little angry and thinking smacking kids is a good thing.
      My kids behave fine, and I don't have to bully or beat them.
      Maybe you should use a more modern technique for child care?

    • Umm... Why? (Score:4, Insightful)

      by Moraelin (679338) on Thursday May 21 2009, @05:41PM (#28046969) Journal

      Look, I'm not going to get into the whole debate about punishments. But this isn't even for when the kid did something wrong. It's a kid with a medical problem, which makes a lot of adults anxious too, in an unfamiliar place, etc. It's a kid which is ill, maybe in pain, and scared.

      So your solution is obviously to smack him upside the head... Just because in your day they didn't have ways to make an already shitty situation less traumatizing. Better make sure your kid is properly traumatized by the experience too.

      Right...

      Geeze. This must be a new low even by the standards of Slashdot trolling.

  • I mean, it sounds like an Onion story but none of the links are going to the Onion.

  • Oblig. (Score:5, Funny)

    by Reason58 (775044) on Thursday May 21 2009, @01:51PM (#28043799)

    Bender: And so I ask you this one question: Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?

  • by DAldredge (2353) <SlashdotEmail@GMail.Com> on Thursday May 21 2009, @01:52PM (#28043807) Journal
    It is a medical device, it isn't meant for the general public. PediSedate is a medical device consisting of a colorful, toy-like headset that connects to a game component such as the Nintendo Game Boy system or a portable CD player. Once the child places it on his or her head and swings the snorkel down from its resting place atop the head, PediSedate transparently monitors respiratory function and distributes nitrous oxide, an anesthetic gas. The child comfortably becomes sedated while playing with a Nintendo Game Boy system or listening to music. This dramatically improves the hospital or dental experience for the child, parents and healthcare providers. The result is a system that provides a calming influence over the children, monitors the child continuously, allows the procedure to be performed by less skilled personnel, increases the speed with which procedures can be performed and makes the procedure a less stressful experience for all involved. Each headset can be used multiple times per day by replacing the disposable components contained in the disposable kit. PediSedate consists of a state of the art anesthesia administration and monitoring system. A pulse-oximeter within the headset, monitors oxygenation and a capnometer monitors second-to-second respiratory rate ensuring the safety of the patient. This currently is not the standard of care in outpatient settings. The PediSedate anesthesia delivery system delivers Nitrous Oxide and other volatile agents via a patented anesthesia delivery/scavenging mask situated in the snorkel. Inhalation anesthesia is both painless and titrateable. The benefits of volatile anesthetics are that onset and recovery times are rapid, which reduces cost to the healthcare system.
  • Brave New World... (Score:3, Informative)

    by Akido37 (1473009) on Thursday May 21 2009, @01:56PM (#28043921)
    Didn't I read about this somewhere before?
  • Hard Mode (Score:5, Funny)

    by njfuzzy (734116) <ian@ian[ ]com ['-x.' in gap]> on Thursday May 21 2009, @02:00PM (#28043985) Homepage
    Finally, a way to add some challenge to older games!
  • It's not a joke... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Facegarden (967477) on Thursday May 21 2009, @02:02PM (#28044033)

    If you RTFA it's not a joke, but it's not meant for home use, it's for doctors to use in the doctor's office to put kids under with less anxiety.
    -Taylor

  • RTFA (Score:5, Informative)

    by fubar1971 (641721) on Thursday May 21 2009, @02:13PM (#28044185) Homepage
    RTFA!!!!!!!

    It is for medical use only. Evryone that is bitching about Parents not being parents, and ADD, smacking kids, etc. Please RTFA
    • by fubar1971 (641721) on Thursday May 21 2009, @02:06PM (#28044079) Homepage
      It's not meant for parents. Easier way to sedate a child for medical purposes. RTFA

      Parents use Strawberry flavored milk and sudafed.
      • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

        by Locke2005 (849178)
        I find paregoric [wikipedia.org] to be much more effective. Just give the kid the whole bottle, and you can finally get a well-deserved rest!
    • by tnk1 (899206) on Thursday May 21 2009, @02:09PM (#28044127)

      I would take more of a compromise tack. Instead of opening a can of whoop-ass on your little delinquent, or using some wishy washy sedation on them, I suggest heroin*. It's both soothing and hardcore.

      Also, a benefit of being their drug dealer is that you can cut them off when they have been naughty. It's a great disciplinary tactic, at least until they are big enough to commit drug-related crime to get more.

      You can also ensure that your kids have only the purest and safest (relatively) dosages and that they use clean needles too!

      This message brought to you by the Afghan Agricultural Council.

      * Heroin may be habit-forming. Be sure to consult the Internet before usage.

      • by JCSoRocks (1142053) on Thursday May 21 2009, @02:52PM (#28044807)
        If you're not comfortable with heroin, I'd like to recommend meth! It's got the added advantage of encouraging your children to clean your house and themselves! Citation. [youtube.com] Plus, when they're not actually on it they can hum the song that's almost as addicting as the substance itself!
    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by Locke2005 (849178)
      "Is drugs the answer?" No, teaching better grammar is the answer!
    • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

      by Anonymous Coward

      PROTIP: it's not addictive. (Nor is it even metabolised by the body.)

      Not much point to it on its own anyway, it only really becomes worthwhile in combination with acid / shrooms.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      Lots of the ADD over-referrals are because little girls sit still more readily than little boys, and we have lots of female primary school teachers. "Boys will be boys" is replaced with "ADD is much more prevalent in males". The over-referrals be damned, though, the doctors shouldn't drug up every kid referred to them regardless of actual diagnostics.

    • by R3d M3rcury (871886) on Thursday May 21 2009, @02:33PM (#28044495) Journal

      Dr. Foster: Would you please tell your son to stop?
      Ned's Dad: We can't do it, man! That's discipline! That's like tellin' Gene Krupa not to go [starts banging on the desk] "boom boom bam bam bam, boom boom bam bam bam, boom boom boom bam ba ba ba ba, da boo boo tss!" We don't believe in rules, like, we gave them up when we started livin' like freaky beatniks!
      Dr. Foster: You don't believe in rules, yet you want to control Ned's anger.
      Ned's Mom: Yeah. You gotta help us, Doc. We've tried nothin' and we're all out of ideas.

      Simpsons, "Hurricane Neddy" [snpp.com]

      • Re:Jesus Christ! (Score:5, Insightful)

        by erroneus (253617) on Thursday May 21 2009, @02:30PM (#28044445) Homepage

        It's the TYPE of control I object to, not control. My sons, three of them, have all been exceptionally easy to manage without drugs or anything similar. I use spanking and similar old fashioned methods and always have. Frankly, when spanking properly, you don't have to spank so often and eventually not at all. But every time I see a parent attempt to "medicate" behavior I get angry because the potential damage is pretty obvious to me. Kids need to be TAUGHT not medicated.

        • Re:Jesus Christ! (Score:5, Insightful)

          by hesiod (111176) <nookschreier&gmail,com> on Thursday May 21 2009, @02:53PM (#28044829) Homepage

          Kids need to be TAUGHT not medicated.

          Wow, you teach your kids to sit still while their teeth are being drilled without any anesthetic? You must, since these are medical devices, and not for parental use. That's pretty hard-core, dude.

        • Re:Spanking (Score:4, Interesting)

          by danknight (570145) on Thursday May 21 2009, @03:10PM (#28045087)
          Um,,Just in case you are uninformed, Spanking is no longer politically correct. This is 21st century liberal America, in this country we either DRUG our children or negotiate with them. Please get with the program. PS, the DSS Situation response team is on the way to your home to repossess your kids. Have a nice day :)
      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        by erroneus (253617)

        Most diagnoses of ADD and ADHD are pure bullshit. Unquestionably everyone is different and perhaps there are rare instances where medication are actually required to get people within the broad window we call "normal." But as an example, of all the morbidly obese people in the world and especially in the U.S., only a tiny fraction of a single percent of those people have actual "medical" conditions as the root cause. The rest all brought it on to themselves in some way... or their parents did it to them