To The Pain

Reedo writes: "If you enjoy gaming and pain, this is for you. Two German designers have developed the Painstation, which is basically a revamped Pong. Except for one major difference - The PEU(Pain Execution Unit), which delivers a dose of pain to your left hand in the form of heat, punches or electroshock, when you mess up."

LIke 007!!!

In Never Say Never again, like the world domination game. Wasn't that guy a German too.

Hmmm....

If only we could wire this up to remotely do the same to Bill gates every time Windows crashes...

PoIP (Pain over IP) protocol. Coming to an RFC near you.

Re:Hmmm....

If only we could wire this up to remotely do the same to Bill gates every time Windows crashes...

Actually I'm glad we can't... If we could, I'm quite
sure I'd actually get and install Windows, and I don't want
to hurt my beloved computer that badly. ;)

How to do this for, oh, $10

Download MAME
Download Pong ROM
Buy Hammer
Thwack self on hand with hammer on death.

Rinse, lather, repeat until hand becomes bloody stump.

It's also a DVD/CD player

... but it only plays R&B albums and Burt Reynolds movies. Use of the pain sender is optional during DVD or CD playback.

been there...

my friends do this to me all the time, especially when playing videogames.

what the fuck is wrong with German people?

The funniest part was about the idiots who stuck to it because they didn't want to back down in front of an audience. This game will be great at separating showy meatheads from people who listen to their inner Pavlov despite their vanity.

"Yeah, but I didn't know you were going to be giving me electric shocks... just what are you trying to prove here, anyway?"

Indeed.

Obligatory response

"Yeah, but I didn't know you were going to be giving me electric shocks... just what are you trying to prove here, anyway?"

"Back off, man. I'm a scientist."

To The Pain - The Reference

In case you've been living on another planet for the past generation, here's what the phrase "to the pain" should mean to you:

From The Princess Bride [imdb.com]

Humperdink: "...to the death"

Westley: "No. To the pain."

Humperdink: "I don't believe I'm familiar with that phrase."

Westley: "I'll explain, and I'll use small words so you'll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon."

Humperdink: "That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me."

Westley: "It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you lose is your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrist. Next your nose."

Humperdink: "Then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly the first time, a mistake I do not mean to duplicate tonight."

Westley: "I wasn't finished. The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right."

Humperdink: "And then my ears, I understand, let's get on with it."

Westley: "WRONG! Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. It's so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out 'Dear God, what is that thing' will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever."

Re:sexy?

While I love Legend of Zelda as much as the next gal

Zelda fan AND female. Marry me. Pain optional.

No no no... you don't understand!!!

You can't sue us because you got carpal tunnel syndrome. Thats a FEATURE OF THIS KEYBOARD!!! Marketing information has clearly shown that people who work with computer equipment WANT to be in pain.

-Restil

Is this really healthy?

Most computer-inclined people already abuse their hands enough as it is, wrecking their wrists with 15-hour coding binges, hours spent playing Playstation 2 games on those horrible little controllers, and of course *ahem* viewing "multimedia content" on the Web. Something like this, if it becomes popular with geeks, will only exacerbate the carpal tunnel epidemic that's already putting geeks out of employment by the thousands. These frivolities like electric shock, force feedback and "rumble packs" are only exacerbating the problem that today's computer interfaces are an ergonomic nightmare.

Research being wasted on silly projects like this should instead be focused on voice recognition, speech synthesis, and other computer interface technologies that will finally allow us to eliminate the torturous tools that are the modern keyboard and mouse. My friend, who once commanded a six-figure salary coding C++ for a large development firm, has been crippled by these implements and now has to struggle with demeaning part-time jobs in order to put food on the table. I would hate to see this happen to somebody again. We must throw off the shackles of the typing paradigm.

hm

A lot of people have been insulting this, and asking why in the world anyone would play it, but it seems pretty obvious to me. Pain makes your body produce adrenalin, which would definitely heighten the gaming experience. It's not like the pain this machine delivers is extremely intense--but it should be enough to get your endorphins pumping and get your cheeks flushed and make you enjoy the game THAT much more when you win. Sure, it's not for you wusses who wouldn't play the pain game back in grade school, but who wants to play with people who can't take the consequences of losing anyway? :)

Personally, I'd like to see a study that pits the enjoyment derived from regular pong vs. pain-pong. I wouldn't be surprised if people reported a much higher level of enjoyment during pain-pong, even if they lost some of the time.

Re:hm

It's not like the pain this machine delivers is extremely intense

Oh yea? Have a look at this [painstation.de]. These people are sick.

--Ben

Oh wait a sec...

At first I thought it was Microsoft changing the name of their X-Box to compete with the Playstation.

Wrong game

If they were going to go all retro with this you'd think they'd at least do an electronic clone of Operation...

And what when you win?

delivers a dose of pain to your left hand in the form of heat, punches or electroshock, when you mess up.

Does it also do what I think [vrinnovations.com] when you win?

misapplication of technology?

What's wrong with just smacking your opponent immediately after the game? It's worked for centuries!

It's all about sex

One of the problems with the FuckU-FuckMe [fu-fme.com] is that it's so straightlaced. It's good to see technology advancing to address the needs of people who are into S&M.

Do you..

agree to the terms of this EULA? [Yes/No]

No
Ouch!

No
Ouch!

okay, yes!

Go Outside

So, just yesterday I was having a conversation with this guy from the Netherlands, and he was telling me how weird the Germans are. I told him they seemed pretty much like everyone else to me. Today, I'm not so sure.

But hey, if you want to be involved with activities where there is potential for pain if you mess up, may I suggest the following:

• Mountain Biking: Ever seen the "radius" seperated from the "ulna" and sticking "out of the arm"? Mmmm. Compound fractures.
• Rock climbing: You'll probably be saved from most permanent injury by clipping in, but it doesn't always stop people from breaking both kneecaps on a bad fall.
• In-line skating: Actually, ice skating can work too, but gravel or pavement are better surfaces for abrasive punishment on top of impact punishment. They absorb blood better, too.
• Playing with Microwave/EM Cores. What's that smell? Liver? (Don't do this. Seriously. Don't.)
• Dating: Nothing gives good internal pain without permanant damage like dating (well, maybe not permanent).
• River rafting: I'll never forget my dislocated shoulder. Sigh.

Really, I don't know why adding pain to an activity is an accomplishment. Sure, it makes the "stakes" more real, but if you want real stakes, do something real.