Married In Oblivion

An anonymous reader writes "Thanks to an odd glitch in the game that prevents him from completing the Knights of the White Stallion quest, Shawn has figured out how to keep himself a mighty fine Orc wife, Mazoga. Once she went on adventures with him. Now she lives in his house in Tamriel, and he can't get her to leave. He visits her when he's in the city, tired after his days of adventuring. He's thinking about buying her a kitchen set. Maybe a living room. Hands down, it's the best Oblivion glitch to date."

Sex

I've always wondered what it would be like to sleep with an orc.

Re:Sex

Most of us have personal rules against dating outside our species... on the other hand, I hear they do taste just like chicken!

Re:Sex

+1 Uncomfortable truth

Re:Sex

Oh I'm not interested in dating an orc. Just a fantasy of being kidnapped by a band of them, like Merry and Pippin, and being a sex slave of the all seeing eye...

Re:Sex

This is the most disturbing thing I've read all week.

Re:Sex

I hear Sauron likes to watch

Article didn't mention the glitch

The article didn't mention what glitch it was, but if it was the one where the bandit never shows up... try going toward the boundary of that country (don't remember its name, but it wasn't far from the ruins where you're supposed to ambush him -- and it was a general area I saw other named bandits walk from). I found him stuck between a couple of trees, pacing errantly back and forth until he saw me and attacked.

As for Mazoga, I always figured she was probably a lesbian.

Obligatory Futurama reference...

As soon as virtual sex partners become a reality, civilization will collapse completely.

DON'T HAVE SEX WITH ROBOTS... or... MMORPG wives...! Or else!

Funny you should mention it...

In Morrowind, you could actually get yourself a girlfriend [uesp.net], and as close to married as you'll get in that game. After meeting and befriending her, then doing a few personal things for her, she ends up giving you the key to her house in Pelagiad, which becomes yours for all intents and purposes. As far as I can remember, there's only one bed in that house, but so long as you don't mind catgirls [tes.ag.ru] that shouldn't be an issue. :)

Nabokovian RPGs? Now I've seen everything.

"Ma-zo-ga: Light of my life, fire of my loins."

I'm surprised his character's name wasn't Pendleton Pendleton.

When there are so many to choose from

Hands down, it's the best Oblivion glitch to date."

Like you could ever know that, especially when there are so many to choose from


Disclaimer: Even with all of the bugs its still a great game :)

Sure it's a glitch?

I read and enjoyed the article but was left wondering, is this really a glitch? The author described what he has done to complete the quest that he claims to be glitching. Sadly, he's not actually doing the right thing. Odds are the quest is working just fine, he's just not a very successful knight.

Naked Man

This reminds me of a story my good friend told me about Oblivion. During a certain fighter's guild quest, he had a well armored male companion. Due to an accidental pick pocketing during the quest, he was kicked out of the fighter's guild. However, his companion continued to follow him everywhere, helping out with ambushes as needed. Also turned out that his loyal fighter's guild companion was unkillable.

This wouldn't have been that funny itself . . . but, after awhile the Fighter's amour begin to fall into disrepair, eventually leaving him completely naked. So, currently, my friend has a naked man following him everywhere. On the 360 widescreen, you can just make him out . . . running behind, desperate to catch up.

Re:Naked Man

I happen to be the person experiencing the naked man problem with Oblivion. It wouldn't be all that bad if after resting at an inn you wouldn't wake up to seeing him standing at the foot of the bed with a wicked grin on his face.

Best glitch ever?

Or simply the guy never bothering to explore the ruins Mazoga led him to?

Try going inside next time......

Developers digress

In a recent stirr-up of events over the "Orc Marriage" glitch, the PR of Bethesda software stated that "it's a feature, not a glitch." Millions of fans across the globe have ceased holding down the Z on their keyboards and violently moving the mouse around, and decided to "stay home for the weekend" for "some hot coffee" with their female orcish partners.

Take her key

I pick pocketed the fugly bat... took her key to the lodge, and locked it inside the house.

Didn't see her for a while.

But then I found her, sans armor (nice green breastises..), sleeping in one of the beds.

Wiley little wench..

Re:Red tab?

It's a bug in slashcode. Stories that are only section stories (the ones that only appear as one line in a grey box) appear on the front page before they're actually released from "the mysterious future". Non-subscribers (like me) see a link on the front page that gives them a friendly error 404 for a short time after they appear.

Re:Red tab?

"Did anyone else notice that the background color of the "tab" for the story on the front page was red? Next refresh it was back to normal gray again."

What, you've never seen Slashdot go to Red Alert?