The 10 Most Dangerous Toys of All Time

Ant writes "An article at the Radar lists the ten most dangerous toys of all time, those treasured playthings that drew blood, chewed digits, took out eyes, and, in one case, actually irradiated. To keep things interesting, the editors excluded BB guns, slingshots, throwing stars, and anything else actually intended to inflict harm." My favorite: 'Feed Me!' begged the packaging for 1996's Cabbage Patch Snacktime Kid. And much like the carnivorous Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors, the adorable lineup of Cabbage Patch snack-dolls appeared at first to be harmless. They merely wanted a nibble--a carrot perhaps, or maybe some yummy pudding. They would stop chewing when snack time was done -- they promised. Then they chomped your child's finger off."

Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab

"It's unclear what effects the Uranium-bearing ores might have had on those few lucky children who received the set"

Exactly. It has the N-word in it so it must be dangerous, right? I highly doubt kids who played with this would have even got a fraction of the dose that they normally get from naturally occurring radon. But any risk is too great, right?

Part of the reason the world is so anti-nuclear is that simple science educating toys like this are banned and exaggerated anti-nuclear views (like that of the author) remain unchallenged. Perhaps my generation was the last one where parents normally bought their children electronics and chemistry sets. Today we would fear that the child would be shocked or chemically burned (regardless of the probability).

Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab

When I was in school, the science labs had a padlocked cupboard under the stairs with a radiation marker on it. That was where the radiation sources were kept in a lead-lined box. The actual sources were maybe 1cm in diameter, with a tiny speck of alpha, beta or gamma emitter embedded in one end. Ah, the fun the physics teacher had with those... Funnier yet was his watch, which was far, far more radioactive than the officially sanctioned sources. The dial was luminous, using some kind of radium compound. Funniest of all was the day he sent someone up to the organic chemistry lab to fetch a certain reagent from the open shelf in the classroom. Man, that stuff made the geiger counter hum! Uranyl Acetate (at least, *some* kind of uranium compound), I think it was, a standard reagent used to confirm (or deny) the presence of some chemical.

I'm fairly sure *that* class got dumbed down quite a lot when that particular teacher retired.

Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab

Perhaps my generation was the last one where parents normally bought their children electronics and chemistry sets. Today we would fear that the child would be shocked or chemically burned (regardless of the probability).
 
When I was 5, I got my first 160 in 1 Electronic Projects Kit from RadioShack. Similar to this [ebay.com] item here. That thing was really cool, especially when I was a kid. Have you looked at what Radioshack sells these days as electronic kits? This thing [radioshack.com] is now sold as the new "rage" in kits. Its like a puzzle. To me, that is dumbing it down to the point of a child not learning anything about electronics, other than "connecting the blue piece to the red pieces makes a buzzing sound".
 
I bought my nephew one of the kits off of ebay, because thats the only place I could find the kits that actually teach you something about electronics.
 
Some other poster talked about dangerous toys being sold to weed out the stupid kids, and only let the smart ones survive. He may be on to something... Todays kids use extremely complicated electronic gadgets for their entertainment, and haven't got a clue how they work, nor do they care. Its a scary future.

Warning

Do not reach into Cabbage Patch Snacktime Kid with remaining fingers.

Re:Great List

Of course, the discontinueing of these toys wouldn't be needed if people would use their common sense. Then again, I guess that is too hard to expect from the average American.

Talk about someone with a grudge against Americans. Sure, make fun of them when they earn it (which is often, I will concede), but this is a bit much. Considering the target market is between 4 and 10 years of age, I think expecting a constant level of common sense IS a bit much to ask. That's why children are treated like children.

Re:Great List

Considering the target market is between 4 and 10 years of age, I think expecting a constant level of common sense IS a bit much to ask. That's why children are treated like children.

i.e. the supid ones need to be weeded out early. It's not like we don't have fun making more of the little bastards. Wanna put some common sense into little Johnny's head, assuming his head is capable of holding such?

Just look him right in the eye and say, "Go right ahead. It's not like you're my only one."

Knowing that mommy and daddy not only will not always be able to protect you, but knowing that they won't even necessarily try teaches you to bloody well look out for yourself.

Maybe we were just funny that way, but back in the day we thought that being able and willing to take care of yourself was something of a survival trait.

But what did we know.

KFG

Re:Great List

While you have a point. . .

Exactly.

When your mother laid your egg, did she leave you to fend for yourself completely?

Leaving my egg on a mountaintop taught me to fight off the wolf cubs for best tit and made me the man I am today. A flea bitten cur.

KFG

Re:Mod parent up please

Look at the laws being enacted, the charges and/or suits being filed and the way our school system is run.

http://www.thememoryhole.org/edu/school-mission.ht m [thememoryhole.org]

Sure wouldn't have wanted people with these attitudes today back when me and my friends played chicken in the park with our ever present pocket knifes.

I used to carry mine to school. Not only was I not considered armed and dangerous, but I was considered one of the "good little boys," who didn't stir up any trouble; unless a grownup did something downright stupid. Then they were in trouble. I homed right in on stupid.

Frankly we have been going downhill for years.

Ya wanna know how the terrorists are going to win? Well, oddly enough, I'm willing to tell you how they're going to win.

No dirty nukes, no poisoning the water supply.

They're just going to sneak into all of our homes and place a pea under each mattress; after which we will simply whine ourselves to fucking death.

Why yes, I did take an extra spoonful of curmudgeon this morning. Why do you ask?

KFG

Re:Asshole

Actually, most of the playgrounds I see today are made out of metal coated with rubber, which is much more durable than wood. The only plastic parts are slides, roofs, and some of the toys (beanbag toss, slats in log bridges, etc.)

And I have to say the metal playgrounds are miles better than the "awesome wood playgrounds" they replaced. Wood playgrounds were shitty--they were built small, often very unimiganitive design-wise, they splintered terribly, and they were never maintained.

As for gravel--that's the second worst to use on a playground* and I've never understood why people would choose it. Sand is much better, and I see sand a lot more often than I see rubber mats (which are actually quite hard) or shredded rubber.

Of course, my experience with playgrounds may not be representative, since I live in a pretty affluent area and thus we can probably afford more expensive gear.

I'm not entirely sure why you're so hostile about it. It's a playground. Get over it.

*The first worst is woodchips. Yes, I've seen it once. It didn't last long because the kids kept scraping the shit out of themselves.

Re:Asshole

Wow, you're rude, an idiot and got modded insightful. Congratulations.

First of all, being made of wood doesn't make a toy awesome. You can make a plastic replica of any toy and it will be exactly the same. Except it won't be wood. Big deal. Half my toys were wood, the other were plastic. I din't care, I didn't even notice. I was too busy playing with them.

You don't like the plastic toys from today? I think that has more to do with you "growing up" from an imaginative child into a cinical adult.

By the way, there are lots of reasons for using plastic. For example it's easier to produce (and color), cheaper, cleaner, lighter. Especially early plastics were not safe at all and ALSO splintered.
The same applies to rubber mats. Much easier to clean, easier to use.

Oh, and yes modern materials are safer. How unfortunate! If you think that taking risks is essential to having fun (and life in general) then something is wrong with your head. Personally, I like to not having to fear for my life all the time. There are plenty of other challenges left.
Also, of course parents should look after their own children. But doesn't that also mean providing a safe environment for them?

Oh and one more thing, guess what material the toy in question was made of?

Stupidity In America (and I'm sure everywhere)

This article seems to think along these lines as well. To steal a quote from a friend of mine (and where he got it I've no idea)...

The problem with (America) is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be capital punishment for stupidity, let's just remove the warning labels from products and let the problem solve itself.

And yea, after reading the article, hehe. Wow. I wish I'd had the Atomic lab. Oh the fun I'd have had with that! Those bastards that snapped my bra in high school would have MAJOR issues now...

*Maniacle laughter followed immediately by a chase scene involving a bunch of men in white coats*

Re:Stupidity In America (and I'm sure everywhere)

Well, you mentioned your bra being snapped on slashdot, so while you might not get chased by a bunch of men in white coats, you might just get chased by a bunch of men with yellow "cheetos fingers".....

Re:Stupidity In America (and I'm sure everywhere)

Is your friend's name by any chance bash.org?

I can't believe they forgot...

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Jarts is #1!

It's sad, before even opening the article I knew that lawn darts would rank #1 on the list. I guess it mildly annoys me because they aren't that dangerous if you know how to use them properly. Just make sure that there's nobody down range, and don't do anything stupid with them (like throw them straight up over your head) and no one gets hurt.

I remember playing with Jarts as a kid (<10 years old) many times over. No one ever got hurt from it. There was enough common sense to keep people behind the shooter when playing the game. I guess it seems silly to me that people keep picking on Jarts because there are so many other "dangerous" things out there as well. Jarts is in a small way, a slow form of archery (sharp objects propelled at a target down range), and know that it can be made relatively safe if the proper precautions are taken. I suppose that even something as innocent as playing horseshoes could be dangerous too, should someone take a blow from a heavy chunk of metal to their head. But it's always Jarts that gets picked on. According to a wikipedia article [wikipedia.org] the incident that led to the banning of lawn darts was mostly a result of the combination of lawn darts and beer. That's frequently a bad combination of anything.

Of course without lawn darts, we wouldn't have neat T-shirts about them [ebay.com]. The rest of the list is interesting too. I'm surprised at how many kids that mini-hammock (ranked #3) has managed to strangle over the years.

Re:Jarts is #1!

Under your logic sniper rifles would be great toys for kids. Just make sure that there's nobody down range, and don't do anything stupid with them (like shoot them at your head) and no one gets hurt. : )

Re:Jarts is #1!

Common sense is a rare and precious commodity, especially in young boys. I nearly set my parent's house on fire with my little chemistry experiments when I was 8.

Re:Jarts is #1!

Common sense is a rare and precious commodity, especially in young boys.

You ain't kidding there, jimbo, but I wouldn't just emphasize young boys, how about twentysomethings? Years ago, an acquaintance had a kick-ass crossbow with pulleys and stuff, and on three separate ocassions that I knew of, he and his friends formed a circle while the guy shot an arrow straight into the sky. That thing was so powerful that the arrow disappeared from view for about a minute, then a buzzing sound grew louder and louder until the damn thing inserted itself several inches into the ground. Talk about stupid.

Once I intercepted these guys at a ranch when they were out night-hunting on a Saturday. I'm not a hunting man myself, so I got there late with a couple of friends, we popped open some beers and waited while staring at the Milky Way and getting a little philosophical. When the hunting expedition returned, my jaw dropped open in disbelief: a compact pickup truck sped towards us, bumping and lurching in the bad dirt road. Three guys were sitting in the front while three guys were standing in the back and leaning forward into the truck's roof. All of them had rifles, except the center guy inside the cabin. The driver had one hand on the steering wheel and another on his rifle, which was resting on the rear-view mirror! Guns were pointing in four or five different directions.
Beer was flowing freely, while a seventh guy was seated on the icebox in the back of the truck, stoned out of his mind and finishing off a full joint all by himself, while holding his upright rifle between his knees. It was un-fucking-believable. Finally, a bizarre little twist - one of the guys was on vacation from studying to become a catholic priest!!!
However, I must admit that the grilled rabbit was quite excellent, and next morning three of the guys woke up early, grabbed some fishing poles, walked down a canyon leading to the ocean, and returned with fish for breakfast. Call them what you may, but they knew how to get food and cook a great meal.

MIRV's for kids: the Stewie Griffin story

I am actually disappointed that the old model rockets did not make it onto the blacklist! Those freaking things really were dangerous. I had a quad-E engine 2-stager that could lift several hands full of nails over 500 feet into the air, and then dump them when the chute was deployed. Don't ask me why I know this... ask the local police. I also used them as "nukes" in bottle rocket fights with the other one-eyed freaks in the neighborhood. Counterbalance a duct taped egg onto one of those babies and gauge the trajectory properly, then you were invincible!

Kinda Surprised

I'm kind of surprised that chemistry sets and wood burning kits failed to make the list. Nothing says child safety like hot sharp iron and alcohol burners.

Pratchett's Hogfather

For some reason I'm thinking of the following exchange in "Hogfather":

The mother took a deep breath.
"You can't give her that!" she screamed. "It's not safe!"
IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather, IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.
"She's a child!" shouted Crumley.
IT'S EDUCATIONAL.
"What if she cuts herself?"
THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.

Needs chemistry lesson

Uranium-238 generates no alpha-radiation, it generates BETA radiation. You know, same stuff that the Potassium in you generates. U-238 is about as unsafe as lead for the same reasons (being a heavy metal), but radiation is not one.

Re:Needs chemistry lesson

Until such time you burn it. The problem with the gulf syndrom is that you inhale U-238 dust. An alpha emitter would kill you in enough of the stuff is inhalede (or digested).

Re:Needs chemistry lesson

Hey kids!

Sick of being bullied.

Too many enemies saying nasty stuff about you.

Then you need the Russian Mafia Chemistry kit. Now with Polonium 210!!

Some observations

One thing that was somewhat surprising was that a few girl toys made the list (cabbage patch and sky dancers).

Also, the motorcycle one that jams the throttle sounds really dangerous. The kids didn't do anything wrong - it was just defective.

I'm surprised the Honda Kick and Go didn't make the list. I remember that I got one of those as a kid just before they were pulled off the market because they were dangerous (I'm not sure exactly why they were dangerous.)

My parents still have mine, I think. The last time I was at their house, they had my daughter riding it and I was like "no way - those things were recalled" and they were like "you rode it and you are still alive" and I was all like "yeah, and you guys kept a vicious dog that mauled children and I have scars on my face to prove it, so I'm not interested in hearing parenting advice from you".

So, there you go.

I loved the hammock

I used to have the cheap hammock when I was a kid - is was great, because without a bar you really could wrap it around yourself like a cocoon and then have someone swing you for a full 360 loop. I'm rather surprised they were strong enough to hold...

Tonka Toy Trucks

Do you remember those steel Tonka Trucks? The ones that were big enough you could bend over as a small kid and 'drive' them around?

When I was a kid, I remember this kid named Don who lived down the street from me. One afternoon he drove his dump truck over to another neighbor's house who happen to be baby sitting me and my siblings. He came running up the sidewalk leaned down with his head tilted up looking at us screaming his head off as he was faking running us down with his truck. He didn't notice an uneven step in the sidewalk and it caught the front tires of the truck and stopped the truck cold. Since he wasn't expecting it, his arms buckled and he fell teeth first onto the back of the truck slicing his lip just under his nose and removing several of his top front teeth.

When he stood up, and it was like slow motion, his upper lip fell down below his lower lip, but still connected on either side. He made a spitting motion and what looked like bleeding cicklets fell on the sidewalk. He looked down and then up and wiped his mouth and when he moved his hand, I could see his tongue exploring the hole where is teeth and lip used to be. And then it was just like a fountain turning on, everything went very bloody and he began to scream. He cupped his mouth with both hands and ran home with a very distinctive trail of blood following him. Later, his mom returned to collect his teeth so they could be reinserted, but the teeth were wrecked. Most of them weren't even connected to the root(?) anymore, but sheared clean off.

Don moved a few years later but I hardly ever saw him again. His face was really disfigured and the wound was obvious. He was self conscious of it and I know he got made fun of.

I just remember how popular those toys were. I had the grader, but it wasn't as good for 'driving' around so I never did. Considering what happened to Don now that I'm grown-up, thank dog.

typical science stupidity

A cloud chamber and a small amount of radioactive isotopes are not dangerous, at least not any more than common household chemicals. And while they may have been "linked to Gulf war syndrome", the US military claims it's harmless and has not trouble using it around civilians in large amounts.

It's a disgrace that this science kit is found among a list of dangerous toys; the journalist should be ashamed of his ignorance.

Re:typical science stupidity

I agree with your post overall, but --

the US military claims it's harmless and has not trouble using it around civilians in large amounts

Speaking as a Gulf War vet who has seen many of his fellow vets suffer from GWS, and has also observed the stonewalling they've received (first the military denied that the disease existed at all, and when that stopped working, disclaimed any responsibility) I have to say, that's not exactly a ringing endorsement.

Wham-o

Wham-O had at least two products that should be good candidates for the above list, but I didn't see them.

First (and more obvious), the Slip N Slide, and all of its various incarnations and copycats.

Second, was a sort of tetherball variant they sold in ~1985 called "Zing Zang". It featured an adjustable steel pole with a spike on one end (designed to be inserted into the ground), and a wire coil on the other end, onto which a cord with a captive tennis ball was attached. The tennis ball cord would theoretically start in the middle, with each player (holding a hard plastic "raquet") assigned a different direction (clockwise or counterclockwise). The goal was to get to the top or bottom of the coil to win. But most kids I knew would just swing the pole around like a giant two-handed flail, bringing down tennis ball torture on opponents... while trailing a steel spike behind them that would often go forgotten until it lodged in someone else's knees or groin or chest.

Mr. Football! Rah! Rah! Rah!

I remember a toy that I had around 9 years old... it was called Mr. Football (and had a catchy jingle) and it was basically a device that threw football passes. Unlike some modern air gun versions that work only with soft foam footballs [extextoys.com], Mr. Football was simply a timer and high-powered spring catapult. I begged for it, and my parents got it for me. But they realized it was dangerous and kept it locked up in the shed, only allowing my friends and I to use it while they were around. So of course I had to steal the key.

This took only a day or two, and soon my friends and I had Mr. Football out and operating without any adults around. This was wonderful because we knew well that a football was about the least interesting thing you could load into a catapult. We started with rocks, then open soda cans, and eventually insects. It was extrodinarily fun. Until the accident.

While trying to launch a caterpillar, we were waiting for the catapult to go off, when the little creature managed to get to the edge of Mr. Football's powerful plastic hand. With the timer only a couple seconds from going off, one of my friends went over to make sure the caterpillar didn't escape. I warned him to get away from the thing, but too late -- it went off and smacked him right in the face. He fell to the ground and was crying. We went over to check him out. He had a bright red abrasion on his cheekbone and brow, but he seemed okay at first. Then we noticed that his eye was filling with blood. Specifically the iris; the white was normal save for being a bit bloodshot, but the bottom half of the iris was filled with blood. He said he could see but that it was blurry. We sent him home and told him not to tell his mother or we'd all get in trouble.

Of course we all got in trouble. He had to go and get several surgeries on his eye to correct the damage, and I was told it wouldn't ever be 100% again. He moved away a year later so I don't really know. A lawyer or someone like that came by once later to pick up the device, because I think there was a class action suit, though my family wasn't involved in that. I don't think the item was on store shelves a year later. Not sure how much my friend's injury had to do with that.

Anyways, I was sort of hoping to see it on the list, but no dice.

Cheers.

The #1 Most Dangerous Toy

It has to be the bicycle, no? I distinctly remember my friends and I doing head on collisions on purpose on our bicycles. It was a form of jousting without the lances, I think. Man, the things you can get away with when you're under 100 lbs.

Anyways, I think we should ban bicycles.

Just kidding.

Scars

A friend of mine who has a one year old kid once said to me: "he [the kid] hasn't lived when he doesn't have any scars when he reaches puberty." My friend is right of course. There are toys in that list that I would gladly give my kids, if I had any. The Sky Dancers, the cannon and the Creepy Crawlers I think are particularly cool and not too dangerous.

"toy safety" is counter to the purpose of play

What happened to the idea of kids playing to practice for the real world?

That's the purpose of play for the rest of the animal kingdom, with the various wild cat species being the best example (play centers around hunting skills and establishment and maintainance of heirarchy, when they grew up those innocuous activities became "real", and because they had practiced in youth, they make better decisions)

people are too sheltered now.. and even i was when I was a kid. This is one of the things I dislike about my fellow liberals.. it's one thing to be egalitarian when people ask for it and truly need a helping hand or protection from active disenfranchisement.... its another to overprotect and thereby deny real life lessons to both kids and parents. In real life you will often handle or live around objects which can cause you harm, and parents should realize that if their toys don't do it they can rest assured their kids will manage to get other everyday objects to serve that function. At the same time, making toys which are not idiot proof will teach kids how to take proper precautions both in everyday movement and when handling tools with similar risks.

For example:

When I was 7 I was given the gi joe crusader..
this thing had articulated everything.. including landing gear.. which was made of thin hard and jam-prone plastic with way too much spring tortion.
one day this gear jammed, and in the process of being freed literally ripped off my thumbnail.
But guess what.. nobody sued..
My nail healed, and I learned the importance of handling with care anything which could potentially jerk uncontrollably by experiencing a relatively minor injury.
I mean, imagine if I had made this arguably inevitable mistake with more "adult" tools.

Getting hurt, just like copyright infringement, is a question of "when" in life, not "if". If you prevent one means people will inevitably encounter another through which to learn these lessons.

That said.. this list is far from accurate.

There are antiques i've seen from the turn of the century which have such gems as open flame, boiling substances, and serious electrical hazards.

it should really be read as "the 10 most dangerous toys produced since 1950"

Damn split up articles

Damn ad-heavy split up articles.

1. Lawn Darts
2. Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab
3. Mini-Hammocks from EZ Sales
4. Snacktime Cabbage Patch Dolls
5. Sky Dancers
6. Bat Masterson Derringer Belt Gun
7. Creepy Crawlers
8. Johnny Reb Cannon
9. Battlestar Galactica Missile Launcher
10. Fisher-Price Power Wheels Motorcycle

So it seems they missed the latest threat:

The Nintendo Wii
- http://www.wiihaveaproblem.com/ [wiihaveaproblem.com]

Example injuries from that site:
- Girl Dislocates Knee While Playing with Wii [wiihaveaproblem.com]
- Attack on Girlfriend Proves Fatal to Boyfriend's Wii Privileges [wiihaveaproblem.com]

It's missing a few

Where is the Bag O' Glass [jt.org]? Pretty Peggy Ear-Piercing Set? Mr. Skin-Grafter? General Tron's Secret Police Confession Kit? Doggie Dentist? How about Johnny Switchblade, Adventure Punk or the Teddy Chainsaw Bear?

What kind of kist is this?

Broken ribs???

Waitasec... Under the "SkyDancers" entry, it mentions "broken ribs". I can see the other mild forms of damage, particularly eye injuries, but how the hell would six ounces of plastic and foam, even spinning as fast as its little plastic launcher can make it, manage to break bones?

I took issue with a few other entries as well, but it seems like many of these "dangers" don't really involve the toy itself, much like "injury while under the influence" - The alcohol doesn't hurt you, your actions while drunk hurt you.

Some stupid kid probably launched one of these off the roof to see how far it could go, then proceeded to fall off the roof. Do we blame the toy for that?