The 10 Most Dangerous Toys of All Time 404
Ant writes "An article at the Radar lists the ten most dangerous toys of all time, those treasured playthings that drew blood, chewed digits, took out eyes, and, in one case, actually irradiated. To keep things interesting, the editors excluded BB guns, slingshots, throwing stars, and anything else actually intended to inflict harm." My favorite: 'Feed Me!' begged the packaging for 1996's Cabbage Patch Snacktime Kid. And much like the carnivorous Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors, the adorable lineup of Cabbage Patch snack-dolls appeared at first to be harmless. They merely wanted a nibble--a carrot perhaps, or maybe some yummy pudding. They would stop chewing when snack time was done -- they promised. Then they chomped your child's finger off."
Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab (Score:5, Insightful)
Exactly. It has the N-word in it so it must be dangerous, right? I highly doubt kids who played with this would have even got a fraction of the dose that they normally get from naturally occurring radon. But any risk is too great, right?
Part of the reason the world is so anti-nuclear is that simple science educating toys like this are banned and exaggerated anti-nuclear views (like that of the author) remain unchallenged. Perhaps my generation was the last one where parents normally bought their children electronics and chemistry sets. Today we would fear that the child would be shocked or chemically burned (regardless of the probability).
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Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab (Score:5, Interesting)
I'm fairly sure *that* class got dumbed down quite a lot when that particular teacher retired.
Re:Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab (Score:5, Interesting)
When I was 5, I got my first 160 in 1 Electronic Projects Kit from RadioShack. Similar to this [ebay.com] item here. That thing was really cool, especially when I was a kid. Have you looked at what Radioshack sells these days as electronic kits? This thing [radioshack.com] is now sold as the new "rage" in kits. Its like a puzzle. To me, that is dumbing it down to the point of a child not learning anything about electronics, other than "connecting the blue piece to the red pieces makes a buzzing sound".
I bought my nephew one of the kits off of ebay, because thats the only place I could find the kits that actually teach you something about electronics.
Some other poster talked about dangerous toys being sold to weed out the stupid kids, and only let the smart ones survive. He may be on to something... Todays kids use extremely complicated electronic gadgets for their entertainment, and haven't got a clue how they work, nor do they care. Its a scary future.
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True radiation is a boogyman in todays sociey, but with u238 or any other heavy metals, there is a real health concern outside of any potential radiation.
Warning (Score:5, Funny)
Stupidity In America (and I'm sure everywhere) (Score:5, Funny)
The problem with (America) is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be capital punishment for stupidity, let's just remove the warning labels from products and let the problem solve itself.
And yea, after reading the article, hehe. Wow. I wish I'd had the Atomic lab. Oh the fun I'd have had with that! Those bastards that snapped my bra in high school would have MAJOR issues now...
*Maniacle laughter followed immediately by a chase scene involving a bunch of men in white coats*
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It's called Darwinism [darwinawards.com].
Re:Stupidity In America (and I'm sure everywhere) (Score:4, Funny)
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Re:Stupidity In America (and I'm sure everywhere) (Score:5, Funny)
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"Hey cut it out guys! I'm just *different*, okay?" *snap*
Memories of high school are traumatic enough without imagining these horrors, o
I can't believe they forgot... (Score:5, Funny)
-only $14.95-
* Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.
* Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
* Happy Fun Ball Contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
* Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete.
Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs:
* Itching
* Vertigo
* Dizziness
* Tingling in extremities
* Loss of balance or coordination
* Slurred speech
* Temporary blindness
* Profuse sweating
* Heart palpitations
If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration...
Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.
Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
Happy Fun Ball comes with a lifetime guarantee.
Happy Fun Ball
ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!
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No Invisible Pedestrian Costume? (Score:2, Informative)
I don't see the Bag-O-Glass listed either. Another stimulating, wholesome toy.
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Who cooked that one up and where can I get it?
I know a couple of brats that deserve a kewl Christmas gift.
Seriously now, wasn't that just an SNL sketch?
Jarts is #1! (Score:5, Insightful)
I remember playing with Jarts as a kid (<10 years old) many times over. No one ever got hurt from it. There was enough common sense to keep people behind the shooter when playing the game. I guess it seems silly to me that people keep picking on Jarts because there are so many other "dangerous" things out there as well. Jarts is in a small way, a slow form of archery (sharp objects propelled at a target down range), and know that it can be made relatively safe if the proper precautions are taken. I suppose that even something as innocent as playing horseshoes could be dangerous too, should someone take a blow from a heavy chunk of metal to their head. But it's always Jarts that gets picked on. According to a wikipedia article [wikipedia.org] the incident that led to the banning of lawn darts was mostly a result of the combination of lawn darts and beer. That's frequently a bad combination of anything.
Of course without lawn darts, we wouldn't have neat T-shirts about them [ebay.com]. The rest of the list is interesting too. I'm surprised at how many kids that mini-hammock (ranked #3) has managed to strangle over the years.
Re:Jarts is #1! (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:Jarts is #1! (Score:5, Insightful)
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And if today's kids were allowed out of their little insular plastic bubble they're kept in from birth to adulthood, they'd be just fine.
Re:Jarts is #1! (Score:5, Interesting)
You ain't kidding there, jimbo, but I wouldn't just emphasize young boys, how about twentysomethings? Years ago, an acquaintance had a kick-ass crossbow with pulleys and stuff, and on three separate ocassions that I knew of, he and his friends formed a circle while the guy shot an arrow straight into the sky. That thing was so powerful that the arrow disappeared from view for about a minute, then a buzzing sound grew louder and louder until the damn thing inserted itself several inches into the ground. Talk about stupid.
Once I intercepted these guys at a ranch when they were out night-hunting on a Saturday. I'm not a hunting man myself, so I got there late with a couple of friends, we popped open some beers and waited while staring at the Milky Way and getting a little philosophical. When the hunting expedition returned, my jaw dropped open in disbelief: a compact pickup truck sped towards us, bumping and lurching in the bad dirt road. Three guys were sitting in the front while three guys were standing in the back and leaning forward into the truck's roof. All of them had rifles, except the center guy inside the cabin. The driver had one hand on the steering wheel and another on his rifle, which was resting on the rear-view mirror! Guns were pointing in four or five different directions.
Beer was flowing freely, while a seventh guy was seated on the icebox in the back of the truck, stoned out of his mind and finishing off a full joint all by himself, while holding his upright rifle between his knees. It was un-fucking-believable. Finally, a bizarre little twist - one of the guys was on vacation from studying to become a catholic priest!!!
However, I must admit that the grilled rabbit was quite excellent, and next morning three of the guys woke up early, grabbed some fishing poles, walked down a canyon leading to the ocean, and returned with fish for breakfast. Call them what you may, but they knew how to get food and cook a great meal.
Water rockets (Score:2)
MIRV's for kids: the Stewie Griffin story (Score:5, Funny)
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"the incident that led to the banning of lawn darts was mostly a result of the combination of lawn darts and beer."
I find it kind of annoying that the wikipedia article didn't describe what actually happened; nor did I have any luck googling for the incident, just got repeats of the above quote.
Anybody know what actually happened? I'd like to judge for myself the merit of the ban, rather than just hearing vague hype.
My cousins still have the scars. (Score:3, Interesting)
They used to play some kind of splits/chicken. They would throw the Jart left or right to the person and the person would need to do the splits. In order for it to count it would have to be thrown in range of the other person to pick up while making them go through the pain of moving the legs further apart.
They got jarts in thier feet and legs.
One of them also got one in the hand after they
Kinda Surprised (Score:5, Insightful)
Pratchett's Hogfather (Score:5, Funny)
The mother took a deep breath.
"You can't give her that!" she screamed. "It's not safe!"
IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather, IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.
"She's a child!" shouted Crumley.
IT'S EDUCATIONAL.
"What if she cuts herself?"
THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.
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Sky One will be broadcasting a 2 part adaptation of Hogfather on the 17th and 18th of this month. Too bad I'm stuck in the US. I guess if the reviews are good, I'll buy the DVD.
Needs chemistry lesson (Score:5, Informative)
Re:Needs chemistry lesson (Score:4, Insightful)
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But is that any more dangerous than a regular chemistry set?
I assume at that time that it was possible to buy chemistry sets that offered dangerous chemical combinations. How much worse is a weak radiation source?
Re:Needs chemistry lesson (Score:5, Funny)
Sick of being bullied.
Too many enemies saying nasty stuff about you.
Then you need the Russian Mafia Chemistry kit. Now with Polonium 210!!
Some observations (Score:5, Interesting)
Also, the motorcycle one that jams the throttle sounds really dangerous. The kids didn't do anything wrong - it was just defective.
I'm surprised the Honda Kick and Go didn't make the list. I remember that I got one of those as a kid just before they were pulled off the market because they were dangerous (I'm not sure exactly why they were dangerous.)
My parents still have mine, I think. The last time I was at their house, they had my daughter riding it and I was like "no way - those things were recalled" and they were like "you rode it and you are still alive" and I was all like "yeah, and you guys kept a vicious dog that mauled children and I have scars on my face to prove it, so I'm not interested in hearing parenting advice from you".
So, there you go.
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Course, I knew better than to let gyrating helicopters loose in the house - come on, I learned that with the little fifty-cent whirligigs that you spun by hand. The difference was that when Sky Dancers went, they went HARD, so the trouble was moreso.
Anyone who was dumb enough to let this thing loose indoors or aim them at their little brother should've had it coming, but hey, I guess that's why it made the list - Not enough parents letting their girls have t
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Dangerous only during periods of insanity/lapsed judgement common in pre-teens.
Case in point: me.
Unlike the blade-scooters of today, these things had the gearing and metal-tube construction of a single speed bike. Unlike the blades, they had wheels that were worth a damn at about a 5" diam
Mandatory safety journalism (Score:2)
The motorcycle.... (Score:2, Funny)
Much like Seinfeld and people who owned a pony as a child, so am I and people who owned these things. My cousins had not one, but two of them. A fact that they never seemed to realize meant that they should give me one. Despite the fact that I told that to them constantly.
I loved the hammock (Score:5, Funny)
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In fact, that was what led to be no longer using it. I was attempting to free my ass from the hammock (where the seams of my jeans had become caught in the net, and I flipped the hammock over and
Tonka Toy Trucks (Score:4, Interesting)
When I was a kid, I remember this kid named Don who lived down the street from me. One afternoon he drove his dump truck over to another neighbor's house who happen to be baby sitting me and my siblings. He came running up the sidewalk leaned down with his head tilted up looking at us screaming his head off as he was faking running us down with his truck. He didn't notice an uneven step in the sidewalk and it caught the front tires of the truck and stopped the truck cold. Since he wasn't expecting it, his arms buckled and he fell teeth first onto the back of the truck slicing his lip just under his nose and removing several of his top front teeth.
When he stood up, and it was like slow motion, his upper lip fell down below his lower lip, but still connected on either side. He made a spitting motion and what looked like bleeding cicklets fell on the sidewalk. He looked down and then up and wiped his mouth and when he moved his hand, I could see his tongue exploring the hole where is teeth and lip used to be. And then it was just like a fountain turning on, everything went very bloody and he began to scream. He cupped his mouth with both hands and ran home with a very distinctive trail of blood following him. Later, his mom returned to collect his teeth so they could be reinserted, but the teeth were wrecked. Most of them weren't even connected to the root(?) anymore, but sheared clean off.
Don moved a few years later but I hardly ever saw him again. His face was really disfigured and the wound was obvious. He was self conscious of it and I know he got made fun of.
I just remember how popular those toys were. I had the grader, but it wasn't as good for 'driving' around so I never did. Considering what happened to Don now that I'm grown-up, thank dog.
typical science stupidity (Score:4, Interesting)
It's a disgrace that this science kit is found among a list of dangerous toys; the journalist should be ashamed of his ignorance.
Re:typical science stupidity (Score:5, Insightful)
the US military claims it's harmless and has not trouble using it around civilians in large amounts
Speaking as a Gulf War vet who has seen many of his fellow vets suffer from GWS, and has also observed the stonewalling they've received (first the military denied that the disease existed at all, and when that stopped working, disclaimed any responsibility) I have to say, that's not exactly a ringing endorsement.
wego kite tube (Score:2)
A more recent candidate for the list... the wego kite tube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEgTzSrTDMI [youtube.com]
This thing isn't on the market for obvious reasons. :)
Huh. (Score:2)
Wham-o (Score:5, Funny)
First (and more obvious), the Slip N Slide, and all of its various incarnations and copycats.
Second, was a sort of tetherball variant they sold in ~1985 called "Zing Zang". It featured an adjustable steel pole with a spike on one end (designed to be inserted into the ground), and a wire coil on the other end, onto which a cord with a captive tennis ball was attached. The tennis ball cord would theoretically start in the middle, with each player (holding a hard plastic "raquet") assigned a different direction (clockwise or counterclockwise). The goal was to get to the top or bottom of the coil to win. But most kids I knew would just swing the pole around like a giant two-handed flail, bringing down tennis ball torture on opponents... while trailing a steel spike behind them that would often go forgotten until it lodged in someone else's knees or groin or chest.
Sure but... (Score:2, Funny)
Mr. Football! Rah! Rah! Rah! (Score:5, Interesting)
This took only a day or two, and soon my friends and I had Mr. Football out and operating without any adults around. This was wonderful because we knew well that a football was about the least interesting thing you could load into a catapult. We started with rocks, then open soda cans, and eventually insects. It was extrodinarily fun. Until the accident.
While trying to launch a caterpillar, we were waiting for the catapult to go off, when the little creature managed to get to the edge of Mr. Football's powerful plastic hand. With the timer only a couple seconds from going off, one of my friends went over to make sure the caterpillar didn't escape. I warned him to get away from the thing, but too late -- it went off and smacked him right in the face. He fell to the ground and was crying. We went over to check him out. He had a bright red abrasion on his cheekbone and brow, but he seemed okay at first. Then we noticed that his eye was filling with blood. Specifically the iris; the white was normal save for being a bit bloodshot, but the bottom half of the iris was filled with blood. He said he could see but that it was blurry. We sent him home and told him not to tell his mother or we'd all get in trouble.
Of course we all got in trouble. He had to go and get several surgeries on his eye to correct the damage, and I was told it wouldn't ever be 100% again. He moved away a year later so I don't really know. A lawyer or someone like that came by once later to pick up the device, because I think there was a class action suit, though my family wasn't involved in that. I don't think the item was on store shelves a year later. Not sure how much my friend's injury had to do with that.
Anyways, I was sort of hoping to see it on the list, but no dice.
Cheers.
The #1 Most Dangerous Toy (Score:5, Insightful)
Anyways, I think we should ban bicycles.
Just kidding.
Scars (Score:3, Insightful)
"toy safety" is counter to the purpose of play (Score:5, Interesting)
That's the purpose of play for the rest of the animal kingdom, with the various wild cat species being the best example (play centers around hunting skills and establishment and maintainance of heirarchy, when they grew up those innocuous activities became "real", and because they had practiced in youth, they make better decisions)
people are too sheltered now.. and even i was when I was a kid. This is one of the things I dislike about my fellow liberals.. it's one thing to be egalitarian when people ask for it and truly need a helping hand or protection from active disenfranchisement.... its another to overprotect and thereby deny real life lessons to both kids and parents. In real life you will often handle or live around objects which can cause you harm, and parents should realize that if their toys don't do it they can rest assured their kids will manage to get other everyday objects to serve that function. At the same time, making toys which are not idiot proof will teach kids how to take proper precautions both in everyday movement and when handling tools with similar risks.
For example:
When I was 7 I was given the gi joe crusader..
this thing had articulated everything.. including landing gear.. which was made of thin hard and jam-prone plastic with way too much spring tortion.
one day this gear jammed, and in the process of being freed literally ripped off my thumbnail.
But guess what.. nobody sued..
My nail healed, and I learned the importance of handling with care anything which could potentially jerk uncontrollably by experiencing a relatively minor injury.
I mean, imagine if I had made this arguably inevitable mistake with more "adult" tools.
Getting hurt, just like copyright infringement, is a question of "when" in life, not "if". If you prevent one means people will inevitably encounter another through which to learn these lessons.
That said.. this list is far from accurate.
There are antiques i've seen from the turn of the century which have such gems as open flame, boiling substances, and serious electrical hazards.
it should really be read as "the 10 most dangerous toys produced since 1950"
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Damn split up articles (Score:5, Informative)
1. Lawn Darts
2. Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab
3. Mini-Hammocks from EZ Sales
4. Snacktime Cabbage Patch Dolls
5. Sky Dancers
6. Bat Masterson Derringer Belt Gun
7. Creepy Crawlers
8. Johnny Reb Cannon
9. Battlestar Galactica Missile Launcher
10. Fisher-Price Power Wheels Motorcycle
So it seems they missed the latest threat:
The Nintendo Wii
- http://www.wiihaveaproblem.com/ [wiihaveaproblem.com]
Example injuries from that site:
- Girl Dislocates Knee While Playing with Wii [wiihaveaproblem.com]
- Attack on Girlfriend Proves Fatal to Boyfriend's Wii Privileges [wiihaveaproblem.com]
It's missing a few (Score:5, Funny)
Where is the Bag O' Glass [jt.org]? Pretty Peggy Ear-Piercing Set? Mr. Skin-Grafter? General Tron's Secret Police Confession Kit? Doggie Dentist? How about Johnny Switchblade, Adventure Punk or the Teddy Chainsaw Bear?
What kind of kist is this?
Broken ribs??? (Score:5, Insightful)
I took issue with a few other entries as well, but it seems like many of these "dangers" don't really involve the toy itself, much like "injury while under the influence" - The alcohol doesn't hurt you, your actions while drunk hurt you.
Some stupid kid probably launched one of these off the roof to see how far it could go, then proceeded to fall off the roof. Do we blame the toy for that?
Omissions: 6. Bat Masterson Derringer Belt Gun (Score:4, Interesting)
Caps, my ass. The cool thing about this _line_ of toy guns generically called "Shoot-N-Shell" was that they fired hard plastic bullets from heavy brass cartridges. You would buy a whole set of ammo: bullets, cartridges, and caps. You'd push the bullets into the cartridges and put an adhesive cap for effect onto the tail of the cartridge. The bullets were driven from a spring in the cartridge and fired when the hammer struck it.
I, in fact, had the Derringer Belt Gun but they made a whole line of solid metal Shoot-N-Shells from six-shooters to rifles. And don't begin to believe that they had the politically-correct red plastic attachment you see in the photo. Real little guns for little people back then.
Shoot-N-Shells were fantastic boy toys -- except for the putting out eyes thing. The fact that they weren't as powerful as BB guns perversely encouraged shoot-outs.
********
And a note on #7: If we are going back to the early 50s with the Gilbert set, there were far more lethal toymakers than the Creepy Crawler. Kids were melting lead at home to make toy soldiers well into the 60s.
Forgot the Mercury Maze (Score:3, Insightful)
Come to think of it, my father may still have it somewhere. I'll have to find it and take it to the hazardous waste disposal site when I visit next time.
Re:Great List (Score:5, Insightful)
Talk about someone with a grudge against Americans. Sure, make fun of them when they earn it (which is often, I will concede), but this is a bit much. Considering the target market is between 4 and 10 years of age, I think expecting a constant level of common sense IS a bit much to ask. That's why children are treated like children.
You're right... (Score:2)
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Re:Great List (Score:5, Insightful)
i.e. the supid ones need to be weeded out early. It's not like we don't have fun making more of the little bastards. Wanna put some common sense into little Johnny's head, assuming his head is capable of holding such?
Just look him right in the eye and say, "Go right ahead. It's not like you're my only one."
Knowing that mommy and daddy not only will not always be able to protect you, but knowing that they won't even necessarily try teaches you to bloody well look out for yourself.
Maybe we were just funny that way, but back in the day we thought that being able and willing to take care of yourself was something of a survival trait.
But what did we know.
KFG
Re:Great List (Score:5, Funny)
Exactly.
When your mother laid your egg, did she leave you to fend for yourself completely?
Leaving my egg on a mountaintop taught me to fight off the wolf cubs for best tit and made me the man I am today. A flea bitten cur.
KFG
Re:Mod parent up please (Score:5, Insightful)
http://www.thememoryhole.org/edu/school-mission.h
Sure wouldn't have wanted people with these attitudes today back when me and my friends played chicken in the park with our ever present pocket knifes.
I used to carry mine to school. Not only was I not considered armed and dangerous, but I was considered one of the "good little boys," who didn't stir up any trouble; unless a grownup did something downright stupid. Then they were in trouble. I homed right in on stupid.
Frankly we have been going downhill for years.
Ya wanna know how the terrorists are going to win? Well, oddly enough, I'm willing to tell you how they're going to win.
No dirty nukes, no poisoning the water supply.
They're just going to sneak into all of our homes and place a pea under each mattress; after which we will simply whine ourselves to fucking death.
Why yes, I did take an extra spoonful of curmudgeon this morning. Why do you ask?
KFG
Re:Asshole (Score:5, Insightful)
And I have to say the metal playgrounds are miles better than the "awesome wood playgrounds" they replaced. Wood playgrounds were shitty--they were built small, often very unimiganitive design-wise, they splintered terribly, and they were never maintained.
As for gravel--that's the second worst to use on a playground* and I've never understood why people would choose it. Sand is much better, and I see sand a lot more often than I see rubber mats (which are actually quite hard) or shredded rubber.
Of course, my experience with playgrounds may not be representative, since I live in a pretty affluent area and thus we can probably afford more expensive gear.
I'm not entirely sure why you're so hostile about it. It's a playground. Get over it.
*The first worst is woodchips. Yes, I've seen it once. It didn't last long because the kids kept scraping the shit out of themselves.
Re:Asshole (Score:5, Insightful)
First of all, being made of wood doesn't make a toy awesome. You can make a plastic replica of any toy and it will be exactly the same. Except it won't be wood. Big deal. Half my toys were wood, the other were plastic. I din't care, I didn't even notice. I was too busy playing with them.
You don't like the plastic toys from today? I think that has more to do with you "growing up" from an imaginative child into a cinical adult.
By the way, there are lots of reasons for using plastic. For example it's easier to produce (and color), cheaper, cleaner, lighter. Especially early plastics were not safe at all and ALSO splintered.
The same applies to rubber mats. Much easier to clean, easier to use.
Oh, and yes modern materials are safer. How unfortunate! If you think that taking risks is essential to having fun (and life in general) then something is wrong with your head. Personally, I like to not having to fear for my life all the time. There are plenty of other challenges left.
Also, of course parents should look after their own children. But doesn't that also mean providing a safe environment for them?
Oh and one more thing, guess what material the toy in question was made of?
Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! (Score:5, Funny)
Have you looked in a chemistry set lately? They've taken all the fun stuff out. What fun is a chemistry set supposed to be when you don't even have any potassium nitrate? Lame.
Now, you can't even get an alarm clock with radium dials on it anymore, because "oh noes, the terrorists will get it!" Well, let me tell you: if a kid can't play with radioactive materials in the privacy of his parents home anymore, the terrorists have already won.
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Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! (Score:5, Funny)
Natural selection through Christmas presents. Got a kid that was dumb enough to stick his hand in an EZ Bake oven? That one's a moron. Better try again! What about another boy who ducks when someone aims a BB gun in his direction? That's a keeper!
The real terrorists aren't the ones with bombs strapped to their chests. They're in our law firms, preventing our children from blowing themselves to tiny bits with their "Actual Working Holy Hand Grenade" when they don't listen and count to 4. This is not what God intended. God gave us Jesus and Christmas and all that so we could kill off our dumbest kids and raise only the smartest.
Let me tell you, the terrorists have already won, my friends. They won long ago...
Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! (Score:5, Funny)
And just so you can spot them, they wear three piece suits and like to use code words in Latin for critical parts of their communication.
Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! (Score:4, Informative)
You're thinking of Denis Leary's Merry F#$%n' Christmas Special [comedycentral.com]. I think it was on last year. They have some clips from the show on the Comedy Central site, but not the segment you're talking about.
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Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! (Score:4, Insightful)
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Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! (Score:5, Funny)
As far ast the U238 set, I would say that it was a safe toy compared to my "Junior Chemist" chemistry set which I got when I was 8. The thing had the lot - KMnO4, NaOH, NH3 solution, S, HCl and many other wonderfull things. In reasonable quantities and concentrations (where in solution). The floor of my room kept the scars from some successfull experiments for years to come.
Same for the cannon - it is a joke compared to my neighbout T34 remote controlled battle tank (my parents bluntly refused to buy me one). That thing could shoot plastic rounds circa 5 mm in diameter and move. Both on remote control. Ideal toy for an eight year old and a six year old to chase the family cat. The only advantage the cat had was that the tank while remotely controlled had a manual reload so we had to fetch it after every shell to pull the reload lever. The fun continued until the cat found out that he should attack the person with the remote, not the tank. After that we called a truce.
Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! (Score:4, Funny)
Another "toy" that was a fad: burning plastic. Yes, just the simple fun of watching pieces of plastic combust and form sizzling, bubbling, congealed masses dangling from the end of a stick. I remember my friend moronically started whizzing the stick around with the sizzling plastic dangling and some flew on his hand causing a blister.
Buy maybe our ultimate crazy passtime required no toy whatsoever: one summer it was all the craze with the kids on our block to hyperventilate. All it took was one kid knowing how to do it and very quickly the "technique" was transmitted among all us kids as though it were some kind of esoteric rite, and we were all doing it. How fun to breathe heavily and then hold your breath and then suddenly wake up moments later after having lost consciousness.
Oh yeah, I also remember the time in gradeschool when I "discovered" this really cool powder in a cabinet - if you left it on your skin it would cause it to become dark for a really long time (like a few days). It was silver nitrate.
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Fucking sweet. I have to try that. First I need to get a sixpack. If you don't hear from me in 24 hours all I ask for is a moment of silence.
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Pussy.
KFG
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Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! (Score:5, Funny)
After begging and pleading with their parents for years, my friend Pete and his older brother finally got BB guns one Xmas.
Of course, the first thing they did was go into their room and had a shootout. Pete's brother nailed him direct in the eyebrow over the left eye. Pete scraped the BB our of his eyebrow, at which point a little fountain of blood began flowing. Pete's first words were "I'm going tell!"
Since they both knew that they would lose their precious armaments, negotiations ensued about how things could be amicably worked out. In the end, Pete settled out of court for the opportunity to shoot his brother in the ass three times.
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At close range on bare flesh you can break the top layer of skin, but the damage under such circumstances from, say, a paintball impact is even worse.
When I was a kid my friends and I use to use air-rifles the way kids now use Airsoft "weapons". Not a game went by without one of us having to have pellets extracted from subdermal layers!
By comparison Airsoft is way safer. Unless you point
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Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! (Score:5, Insightful)
You've got to be kidding me. I think your brain shut off the second you heard nuclear and radiation. I am astounded that the first thing you think of when you see this isn't, "children might swallow the slightly radioactive material, and get sick from heavy metal poisoning." but, "terrorists are going to buy a whole bunch of these kits, and then use the marginally radioactive material to slightly irradiate people with a small pipe bomb! ZOMG!!11 TERRORIRST!!"
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I too was wondering about the amount of heavy metals in the kit and the potential toxicity of it. Nowadays it's easy to make a very minute source, back then I'm not sure the implications were completely understood.
Potentially, if done properly, it could be a very fun (and quite safe) toy though. Except that nobody would buy it because of the exact same reactions exhibited by the GP (ZOMG! nukular! terrorists! thinkofthechinldren!) bah.
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Yeah, it's like the U.S.A. is Pee Wee's Playhouse, and "radiation" has been the Secret Word for over 50 years.
President Pee-Wee: Okay kids, now what do you do when you hear the word "radiation"?
People: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
President Pee-Wee: That's right! Good sheeple.
Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! (Score:5, Insightful)
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Furthermore, as a chemist I can tell you that everything is a potential danger, when applied in a certain way. Just mix all the stuff from your
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You know, the sad part is that nowdays a kid who has graduated from high school might actually think this could happen.
Whatever happened to 8th grade physics?
Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! (Score:5, Funny)
Oh, that's a college level course these days. 500 or 600 level in most places. 8th graders have to pass tests these days. No time for learning.
Re:ohhhhhhh myyyyy Goddddd! (Score:4, Informative)
NO, they couldn't. Even in those cool kits of old you wouldn't be able to come up with enough material to make a dirty bomb that actually mattered - you'd need several kilos of bad stuff (or stuff that was much more refined than anything that would have come in a kit like this).
Most people in this country (like yourself) haven't the slightest clue about radiation. They hear the word and instantly panic, all the while flying back and forth between their brick houses in Denver where and their wooden house in Miami. (One of these houses has three times the background radiation as the other. Which is it?)
As for this particular lab, I haven't been able to find the specs but I'll bet you a mod point that your average american smoke detector has a far greater intensity of ionizing radiation than anything that Gilbert put on the market. There are probably clocks out there with radium painted dials that are far more radioactive, not to mention all of the uranium oxide they used for dinnerware until production of the bomb in WWII dried up the supply. (The product line continues to this day, but they stopped using the radioactive glaze back in the 60s. Google up Fiestaware.)
In other words, back in the day, it was far more likely for somebody to visit Crate and Barrel to obtain enough materials for a dirty bomb than it was Toys R Us.
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Re:Cabbage Patch Finger Food (Score:4, Informative)
Re:Cabbage Patch Finger Food (Score:5, Funny)
Yup. 35 fingers and one penis. Uhh, don't ask...
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I had one of these. One thing I liked about it was that it would shoot that missle really far. (Which is probably why it was so effective at shooting it down the kid's throat.)