Blizzard to Boll - DENIED!

Drathos writes "From MTV Movies Blog by way of WoW Insider: Everyone's least favorite director, Uwe Boll approached Blizzard about making a World of Warcraft movie. Their response? "We will not sell the movie rights, not to you ... especially not to you.""

WoW Movie

Why couldn't Peter Jackson and some of Blizzard's cinematics team get together on it? I mean, Jackson DID take a large, well fleshed out world and adapt it to screen with AWESOME results.

Re:WoW Movie

I have to agree in a way, I've always liked the Warcraft series games and have always felt Warcraft III had one of the best storylines of any game I'd played.

I'd honestly rather see Blizzards people do the majority of the work as I honestly think they could do an as good if not better than job than Hollywood could. If it was animated I doubt they'd need much outside help, if not then primarily they'd just need actors and costumes people - certainly I don't believe they'd need any effects people or writers.

There are differences between film and game storyline creation certainly, but I think they could probably do it, certainly as you say with the help of a "game-friendly" director such as Jackson rather than someone whose about as good with the difference between films and games as Boll.

Re:WoW Movie

There was a lot of parts that just really dragged on.

And a WoW movie will be different how? Grind, grind, grind. Grind, grind, grind. Raid! Grind, grind, grind.

Re:WoW Movie

> Well, he (actually not him, the graphics effects people) did make [LotR] very pretty,
> but my overall level of excitement from the movie is pretty low. There was a lot
> of parts that just really dragged on.

So it was a very faithful reproduction of the books, then!

Re:WoW Movie

Quit being an old man and address the point rather than attacking the perceived person. LOTR, IMO is dull, both in book and film form. Crap all happens very slowly, the storyline is contrived and very simple, and the vast majority of characters are simplistic in the extreme. If you like it, so be it. Don't start hurling insults when someone criticizes it, especially not ones that have nothing to do with the criticism. This is coming from someone who has read probably a couple of thousand books, and no I don't want your pacifying drugs.

Re:WoW Movie

The GP didn't say Jackson did an "AWESOME" job, he said that the results were awesome, which is hard to argue considering the success of the films.

However, I think he did a great job. Look at any book-to-movie adaption, aside from movies based off books that read like a movie, the movies always fail to capture everything from the book. Given the herculean task of moving the trilogy to less than 10 hours of film, I don't think anyone could have done a better job. Yes, there were some important parts missing but unless you enjoy sitting down for 5 hours straight (I don't), something had to be cut.

Re:WoW Movie

Yes, there were some important parts missing but unless you enjoy sitting down for 5 hours straight (I don't), something had to be cut.

In regards to a WoW film, I think you may be on to something.

a shame

That's a shame, because if there's someone who could capture the sheer mundacity of WoW, I think it would be Boll.

Re:a shame

Fade in to a low fly-by of a dwarf on griffin-back swooping over the trees of Winterspring. Cut to three adventurers (a human warrior with impossibly enormous shoulder guards, a female night elf with thigh-high boots and no pants encircled by a shimmering bubble, and a goatee-sporting gnome shifting back and forth with two giant-sized red-hot-glowing maces in his hands) on the ground looking up at the passing griffin rider. The camera swings to track the speeding flyer. Cut to an absurdly massive axe, crackling with electrical energy, cleaving the head of a white furbolg.

HUMAN - Pile those corpses high, Ihealuloolzzz. Lilkneestaßßer needs that agility enchantment, and those greedy beasts in Timbermaw Hold won't give it to us unless we kill enough of their enemies!

IHEALULOOLZZZ - By the light of Elune, Tànkérlordd, it shall be done!

LILKNEESTAßßER - Off and away!

Cut to 9-minute montage of our heroic trio slaying thousands upon thousands of furbolgs. Intersperse clips of them ripping beaded necklaces from their slain foes, and other clips showing them spilling gold-bound chests full of these necklaces onto the floor in front of the Timbermaw denizens. Over the course of the montage, we repeatedly see the face of an important-looking Timbermaw shaman. At first the face is frowny and angry, but over time it appears friendlier and friendlier.

Re:a shame

Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

May I proudly proclaim...

Woohoo! This is a proud day for both gaming and movie making.

Re:May I proudly proclaim...

I hope the gaming suits and executives trying to learn everything the can from Blizzard's business model extend their eduction to this example too.

I dunno...

It can't be any worse than the WOW Pr0n I found on Pirate Bay recently.

Pr0n chicks in green and blue body-paint with fake elf-ears and horns.

Not nearly as hot as you would think it is. :(

Re:I dunno...

Pr0n chicks in green and blue body-paint with fake elf-ears and horns.

Not nearly as hot as you would think it is. :(

Consult a doctor immediately. The kind with the couch.

Come on, let's deal with this once and for all

We are still almost 800k signatures short. Guys, just sign the petition [petitiononline.com] and the nightmare will be over. (In case you missed it, Uwe said he will stop if 1 Million people ask him to.)

Fool! It's a trap!

You're proving to the producers that 1,000,000 people know who he is...and care. That tells the money guys that giving him a pile of cash and the rights to a some beloved IP will capture the attention of 1,000,000 people at a minimum.

Seriously, the best thing you could have done was start a petition and have like 3 people sign it. I would show the people in charge that no one cares about him.

In a purely hypothetical case...

Wouldn't it be easier to just shoot him in the head?

Not that I'm suggesting anyone should. Just y'know, it'd be a lot more expedient than a petition.

you know nothing of trolls and pr

the first rule of public relations is that there is no such thing as bad publicity. if you get your name out there, you can do something to cash in on that fame and/ or notoriety. a million signatures merely means a million people not only know who the guy is, but are actually passionate enough to go to a website and register their disgust for him

thus ensuring you will hear about uwe boll again and again forever

the only way you will ensure you will never hear of use boll again is to not mention him. btw, a front page slashdot story, unfortuantely, extends uwe boll's shelflife

love is basically the same as hate when it comes to garnishering attention. just ask any troll. the only way to defeat a real life troll like boll, just like online, is to IGNORE them. if you give them attention, they win

so any stupid petition ensures boll lives on and on. is that what you want?

Twisted logic gem

From the MTV blog:

And to be honest, the real gamers are the typical download guys, right? They don't pay anything for movies, because they illegally download the movies. So why I should please these guys?

If all these real gamers are the downloading guys, how come those games are sold so well that Uwe wants to license them?

I almost wish they would...

Maybe the sheer horror of the experience would get some people to finally pull the WoW needle from their arms and I'd get some friends back.

For the Horde

The primary thing that pisses me off about the potential WoW movie is that from everything I have read, it looks like it's going to be told from the perspective of the Alliance.

Come on. Everyone knows the Alliance is for pussies. And so are Blood Elves.

Nice headline

...where are we, Digg?

Re:I love Uwe

There I said it. I'm a huge film fan, and yes his movies are schlocky. But they're not meant to be serious cinema, just a little fun. Plus the guy is just a great character to have around. He openly insults other directors and movies (his recent take on the new Indiana Jones movies was dead-on, BTW), challenges critics to boxing matches, and is generally thrilled to be the director-you-love-to-hate. Personally, I think the guy is a genius.

And, being a big fan of the Postal videogame series, I think he is the PERFECT director to bring its warped sense-of-humor to the screen. I look forward to seeing the end result.

Uwe Boll has a Slashdot account?

Now, here is the serious response. You credit Boll with openly criticizing... wait, you said insult, not critique. Insults other directors, resorts to basic animal reactions in response to critique, and takes pride that he is viewed as the worst possible thing that can happen to a story you enjoy.

The man isn't a director, he reminds me of an online griefer. If Uwe Boll was his nom-de-plume then I'd think he fell victim to the formula, Anonymity + Audience = Total Ass (to paraphrase for work audiences).

The man is a walking tax writeoff for movie studios.

Re:I love Uwe

Who modded this "Flamebait"?

Note: Just because we don't agree, or disagree in the strongest terms possible, hardly means someone deserves to be punished for posting an honest, non-inflammatory, contradicting opinion.

If you disagree, go ahead and do so in a constructive way - by posting an intelligent rebuttal. But if punishing someone for taste were allowed on /., the boards would degenerate into Mac vs. PC, Xbox vs. PS3, Red vs. Blue, reasoned vs. impertinent...oh wait.

Re:Trey Parker & Matt Stone

I don't know...I can't even imagine how boring the movie would be.

"Now we go to fight the ultimate evil!"
"Wait, we don't have the key to his front door."
"Who cares? Can't we break in?"
"No! The door is too powerful! We have to spend days of our lives getting the parts of the key and forging them together!"
"The door is too powerful? Fine. You guys go get the key..."
"Sorry, sir, we ALL need a key. So we each have to go on the key quest separately, though of course we can help each other."
"WHAT? That doesn't make any sense!"
"The door works in mysterious ways, sir."