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Who's Your Favorite Vampire Hunter?

Displaying poll results.
  7846 votes / 30%
  4057 votes / 15%
The Frog Brothers
  938 votes / 3%
Van Helsing
  2676 votes / 10%
Abraham Lincoln
  2310 votes / 9%
  2618 votes / 10%
  920 votes / 3%
Vampires are people too
  4284 votes / 16%
25649 total votes.
[ Voting Booth | Other Polls | Back Home ]
  • Don't complain about lack of options. You've got to pick a few when you do multiple choice. Those are the breaks.
  • Feel free to suggest poll ideas if you're feeling creative. I'd strongly suggest reading the past polls first.
  • This whole thing is wildly inaccurate. Rounding errors, ballot stuffers, dynamic IPs, firewalls. If you're using these numbers to do anything important, you're insane.
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Who's Your Favorite Vampire Hunter?

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  • JCVH? (Score:2, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward

    Whatever happened to Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter?

    • Re:JCVH? (Score:5, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday June 27, 2012 @11:19PM (#40475029)

      The Jews got him.

      • Re:JCVH? (Score:5, Funny)

        by Chrisq (894406) on Thursday June 28, 2012 @05:16AM (#40476531)

        The Jews got him.

        Its worse than that, a Jewish zombie got him. I have it on good authority that he walked out of his tomb

    • I bought the blu-ray of JCVH. I haven't watched it yet. I only bought it because I got a good laugh at the title while looking through the movie selection at a store. I was like "fuck it, I may never see this again". It's always been a rather interesting conversation piece.

      • by Rei (128717)

        I bought the book "How To Raise Your IQ By Eating Gifted Children" for the same reason ;)

      • Its a movie that has a newspaper headline that reads "World Lesbian Shortage"

        Go watch it.

    • by Rei (128717)

      Whatever happened to Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter?

      He gave up the career to become a renegade cop [].

    • Re:JCVH? (Score:5, Funny)

      by niftydude (1745144) on Thursday June 28, 2012 @10:00AM (#40478007)
      Never saw that movie, but I always though Jesus Christ was a vampire.

      Think about it:
      1) He dies, then lays in a crypt for a few days before rising as one of the undead, 2) He creates followers by having them drink his blood, 3) He survived in a desert without any food or water for 40 days & nights

    • by legojenn (462946)

      Don't know....can't even find it on DVD. []

      I suspect the lesbian vampires got him.

  • None (Score:5, Informative)

    by Alter_3d (948458) on Wednesday June 27, 2012 @10:55PM (#40474887)
    Simon Belmont... and family.. The ones in the poll are a bunch of sissies compared to them.
  • Anite Blake (Score:2, Interesting)

    by bziman (223162)
    Anita Blake, because the only thing better than violence, is sex!
    • by Barny (103770)

      No, truly, Ed the master. Although Anita is learning fast.

    • by iamhassi (659463)
      another vote for Anita Blake
    • Anita Blake, because the only thing better than violence, is sex!

      Sorry, that's not sex, at least not any good sex. First Anita's a prude, then later, she becomes a slut, and still, any amount of sex in the stories is in the minority to the amount of socially disfunctional bickering and threatening that goes one before and after between those involved. I seriously wonder what traumatized Mrs. Hamilton so much that she would have her protagonists act like that.

      Besides, the fairy series of hers had much better sex if that's what you're looking for.

  • by IorDMUX (870522) <mark.zimmerman3@ ... com minus author> on Wednesday June 27, 2012 @11:07PM (#40474951) Homepage
    ...For anyone who grew up in the eighties, at least.

    Simon Belmont and the extended Belmont clan. Far more vampire slaying action, much less angst.
  • by CelticWhisper (601755) <> on Wednesday June 27, 2012 @11:10PM (#40474963)

    I'd say that D and Alucard (of Hellsing, not Castlevania) are about as good as it gets. Honorable mention to the Belmont clan, if for no other reason than not throwing their hands up and saying "fuck it" after Dracula's 257403827th reincarnation.

    D and Allie, though, are the only 2 out of this whole set who are match for each other, considering how powerful Alucard is implied to be when he takes the gloves off (literally and figuratively), and the fact that D was sired by Dracula and was still alive over 10,000 years later.

    Then again, there is Jefferson Twilight, but...are we limiting the vampires hunted to those of the dark-skinned persuasion?

    • by artor3 (1344997) on Thursday June 28, 2012 @12:14AM (#40475283)

      D and Alucard (and Buffy and Blade and the Belmonts and so on) all have it easy. They're basically on an even footing with the vampires they hunt, and that's being generous to the prey.

      It's way more impressive when a regular Joe, like Van Helsing, manages to succeed. I assume, of course, we're talking about Bram Stoker's Van Helsing, not one of the various super-powered re-imaginings.

      • by Kirth (183) on Thursday June 28, 2012 @11:09AM (#40478801) Homepage

        And even better, Prof. Abronsius of course! []

      • by LateArthurDent (1403947) on Thursday June 28, 2012 @05:18PM (#40485989)

        D and Alucard (and Buffy and Blade and the Belmonts and so on) all have it easy. They're basically on an even footing with the vampires they hunt, and that's being generous to the prey.

        I hear that argument a lot, usually as a reason for why Superman is a boring character. "He can do anything, why is that interesting?"

        Basically, if you're reading Superman comics, or watching Buffy, to see heroes in a physical fight against their opponents, you're missing the point. And quite a few Superman writers, especially for movies and TV Series have missed the point (except for early Lois & Clark in the early seasons). The story isn't about their abilities. It's about how all those powers still aren't enough to fix basic problems we encounter day to day.

        Sure, physically, Vampires were no match for Buffy. Then again, she had relationship issues, could not save her mother from death, and when Angel turned evil, she had the opportunity and ability to kill him several times, but couldn't bring herself to do so. As a result of her inaction, other people died, and she had to deal with that. Eventually, she did have to kill him, but at the moment she did so, her physical strength wasn't a variable, since he had been given his soul back and was utterly confused about what was going on. Had Cordelia been there, she could have physically run that sword through Angel just as easily.

        The later seasons deal with similar issues. Oftentimes her strength actually gets in her way. And that's what stories about super-powered individuals should be about.

    • by spitzak (4019)

      The D programming language is pretty interesting. I did not know about the vampire-hunting feature until now.

  • Stephanie Meyer (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday June 27, 2012 @11:14PM (#40475005)

    If "Twilight" is anything to go by, Stephanie Meyer is trying to kill the traditional vampire stone dead

  • by DaveAtFraud (460127) on Wednesday June 27, 2012 @11:57PM (#40475209) Homepage Journal

    Which Buffy? The TV show or the movie?

    The movie wins hands down for campiness and not taking itself seriously. About the only better grade B, teen angst movie was "Earth Girls are Easy."


  • Missing option (Score:4, Insightful)

    by sootman (158191) on Thursday June 28, 2012 @12:08AM (#40475253) Homepage Journal

    Where's the "Cowboy Neal" option when you need it?

  • Missing option... (Score:4, Informative)

    by phaedrus5001 (1992314) on Thursday June 28, 2012 @01:58AM (#40475747)
    Given the chance, I would've voted Simon Belmont. []
  • by Altanar (56809) on Thursday June 28, 2012 @02:38AM (#40475941)
    Kinda sad that the Frog brothers (from Lost Boys) are being beaten by the"lycans" from the Kate Beckinsale crapfest.
    • by khr (708262)

      Yeah, The Lost Boys is one of my favorite movies. I first saw that as a freshman in college, in the dormitory big-screen TV room, slightly drunk, with 100 other cheering, slightly drunk college students... It always brings back that fun feeling when I watch it.

  • by HalAtWork (926717) on Thursday June 28, 2012 @02:44AM (#40475975)
    Specifically Trevor Belmont, Castlevania III is my favorite. But there's Simon, Gabriel, Leon, Juste, and the rest. The Morris clan, Eric LeCarde and Alucard count too.
  • Blackula hunter? (Score:3, Informative)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday June 28, 2012 @02:52AM (#40476005)

    Jefferson Twilight, if we're including blackula exclusive hunters.

  • by Tom (822)

    definitely missing option. If you include D, how can you leave out Alucard?

  • Sookie! (Score:5, Funny)

    by cobbaut (232092) <> on Thursday June 28, 2012 @03:35AM (#40476173) Homepage Journal

    Sookie Stackhouse is by far the best vampire 'hunter' ;-)

  • I can't believe that Jack Crow isn't on the poll! He takes no crap from anyone, be they vampires or human, hehe!
    • by xystren (522982)
      I have to agree. X-bow bolt attached to a winch on a Jeep? Shoot em and drag them out into the daylight. How can that not be one's favorite, let alone not listed.
    • by dcollins (135727)

      Also agree, came here to say the same thing. Plus Felix.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday June 28, 2012 @03:58AM (#40476273)

    He is Dutch and his first name is Abraham, not Van. (Wikipedia spells it Van too, maybe they got it from the book?) This is a typical Dutch naming convention that often confuses English speakers. A lot of Dutch names will have van (from) or van de (from the) or variations thereof: van den, van der. When last names were made compulsory under Napoleonic rule, people often chose the place they lived at, in or near as a descriptor. So Jan who lived near a mill (molen) became Jan van der Molen. Piet who lived on a dike became Piet van Dijk. In Flanders this is the norm, it is more likely to have a Belgian called Vandermolen then van der Molen.
    Dutchmen who emigrated to the US often contracted their name to avoid confusion: Vanderbilt for instance.

  • ... in juuuust a sec...
    (need to restock with silver bullets and garlic; won't be long now...)
    • by Cosgrach (1737088)

      If you are fighting off the new (improved) Twilight type of vampire, all you need is good taste.

  • by edremy (36408) on Thursday June 28, 2012 @08:33AM (#40477311) Journal
    Since other folks checked the "vampires are people too" box maybe one of you can remember the title of a book I read ages ago (probably 1980s). It was set in Spain back during the Inquisition. The basic setup was that there were two brothers, one a vampire and one who was the chief local inquisitor. I remember it mostly for a line from the vampire that said something like "I'm a monster because that's what I am- you had a choice to become one"

    I recall that it was actually halfway decent and was trying to think of the title the other day but now it's driving me nuts. Help me Internet!

  • as I recognized only some of the options (and I'm sure I'm not the only one) here's a list of WP links:

    * Buffy []
    * Blade []
    * Frog Brothers are mentioned in []
    * Abe Lincoln,_Vampire_Hunter_(novel) []
    * Van Helsing []
    * D []
    * Lycans []

    • Re:Missing links (Score:4, Insightful)

      by Whorhay (1319089) on Thursday June 28, 2012 @12:06PM (#40479359)

      People here seem to be drawing a direct connection between the Underworld movies and the Lycan option. While I recognize that those movies probably popularized the usage it's not actually original to them. People who have animalistic shapeshifting abilities are generally called Lycanthropes in the fictional works where they exist. The word Lycans is just an obvious shortening. And imo Werewolves and the other varieties of Lycanthropes are easily the most interesting hunters of Vampires.

  • No, I'm not refering to any particular political party or business (though it's tempting...)

  • by camperdave (969942) on Thursday June 28, 2012 @01:25PM (#40481131) Journal
    I've got to go with The Doctor. In his fourth regeneration, he and Romana wind up killing the last Great Vampire, a race that was the source of all vampire legends on practically all inhabited planets, and an enemy of the Time Lords. These puny things that Buffy, van Helsing, and that ilk hunt are merely the minions of one of the Great Vampires.
  • Whoever takes down Sparkles will be my favorite vampire hunter for the rest of my life.
  • by oldmac31310 (1845668) on Thursday June 28, 2012 @04:04PM (#40484887) Homepage
    And you guys call yourselves geeks! []
  • Death by Stereo.

    'nuff said.

  • by buglista (1967502) on Friday June 29, 2012 @08:10AM (#40492261)
    The "greatest wampire hunter in ze vorld". []

"Stupidity, like virtue, is its own reward" -- William E. Davidsen


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