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Blizzard removes Orcs from Warcraft III

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  • and in other news (Score:1, Insightful)

    by HMC CS Major (540987)
    everyone has decided that april fools day stories are neither funny nor clever.
  • by maroberts (15852) on Monday April 01, 2002 @07:07PM (#3267875) Homepage Journal
    so it can';t be an April Fools joke can i?

    Damn, forgot about US/UK time zones.
  • What's next (Score:3, Funny)

    by reflexreaction (526215) on Monday April 01, 2002 @07:08PM (#3267878) Homepage
    What are they gonna do now remove the One ring from LOTR?
    • by m_chan (95943) on Monday April 01, 2002 @07:13PM (#3267912) Homepage
      What are they gonna do now remove the One ring from LOTR?

      No, just the Orcs.
    • Nah, the heroes are going to open a jewelry store and mix the one ring in with the rest of the merchandise. The baddies will never be able to find the right one!
    • Re:What's next (Score:5, Insightful)

      by flewp (458359) on Monday April 01, 2002 @07:26PM (#3267979)
      Since today seems to be the day that the most mod points go towards modding a post as funny, and I'm not funny, can I just ask for them and get them?
      Thanks.

      Oh, and I almost forgot to add please.
      • Since today seems to be the day that the most mod points go towards modding a post as funny, and I'm not funny, can I just ask for them and get them?

        Am I the only one that finds it ironic that the moderation on this is "Insightful=3, Informative=1?"
      • Since today seems to be the day that the most mod points go towards modding a post as funny, and I'm not funny, can I just ask for them and get them?

        For what it's worth, most of the other "funny" (big, fat quotes) posts aren't. So, you get Insightful instead.

        Just as well. After today, my user prefs are tuned to pitch anything moderated as "funny" (more big, fat quotes) down into oblivion.

        Fun, me.

    • Christ, don't give the slashdot editors any more April Fool's story ideas!
    • Because "The Two Towers" is similar the the world trade center's nickname "The Twin Towers", LoTR producers briefly considered changing the name after the Sept. 11 attacks!

      I'm not even kidding about this one...

      According to the Internet Movie Database [imdb.com]:

      Following the attack on the World Trade Center on 11 September 2001, and because of the similarity between the buildings' nickname, "The Twin Towers", and the movie's title, "The Two Towers", the director and producers briefly considered renaming the second movie in the trilogy. They eventually decided against it, Peter Jackson's main reason being that, "fans would kill me".

      -Derek
  • by jockm (233372) on Monday April 01, 2002 @07:08PM (#3267882) Homepage
    enough is enough. Surely there is some real news to cover...
    • Hey, April Fools is a sign of cheap Easter candy! Quit readin' and buy, buy, buy!
    • It wasn't funny last year, it's not funny this year and it won't be funny next year

      Agreed, that's why I had some vain hope that they had learned their lesson. What was I thinking...
    • Had enough? (Score:2, Troll)

      by Decimal (154606)
      I agree. Slashdot has gone way overboard today.

      Here [washington.edu] is a list of reasons to boycott slashdot. It includes a list of alternatives, including my favorite, BottomQuark [bottomquark.com]. That site hasn't had one April Fools joke all day. Slashdot has had, what, 6 so far?

      I wonder if this will change how many people are participating in The (Hopefully) Great Slashdot Blackout [slashdot.org]?

      Now the more important question is: Will this post be deleted or simply moderated down?
      • Re:Had enough? (Score:5, Insightful)

        by smaug195 (535681) on Monday April 01, 2002 @07:57PM (#3268098)
        Your boycotting slashdot? Then what the hell are you still doing posting.
      • Re:Had enough? (Score:5, Interesting)

        by siegesama (450116) on Monday April 01, 2002 @08:05PM (#3268134) Homepage
        Slashdot links to stories on other sites. As long as other sites are producing 4/1 announcements, quess what?

        It was this way last year, too. And [newsflash] if it weren't for the odd number of nincompoops posting drivel about how much they hate 4/1 jokes, it'd be terribly amusing. The potential for interesting and funny comments is boundless. You've got a spring board for any range of topics, and instead you decide to be yet another downer in a grey ugly world.

        And enough of the "I hate slashdot and I'm going to boycott it and you should all too." Great, you're protesting something useless by adding more useless drivel to the pile. I'm sure in your fantasy world, you've made some sort of difference, and will be a hero to future generations. If you're so upset about slashdot please, for the love of god, stop posting. You apparently can't stand the site (or "what it has become"), so take it out of your fucking bookmark file and piss off.

        And as for the selfserving bit at the bottom about how you wonder if you'll be deleted or moderated down... unfortunately neither. You've earned karma off of being a fuck-head. Maybe you'll get a medal.
        • Amen brother. But I guess we should face facts. Those with something intelligent, interesting, or funny to say are going to keep posting that way, and those who have nothing to say will continure to post about how they hate slashdot, how it sucks yada yada yada. Of course, the kind of person it takes to behave this way is the exact kind of person whose IQ is so low that they don't realize that if they don't like something they can go somewhere else. Those of us that remember the BBS days might recall a similar phenomena. If was much more rare then but less people were involved, and the sysop would generally just drop their accounts. Thats the way of the world though, anytime you give more people access the intelligence level drops, obviously the more people there are the closer to average things become.
      • Slashdot has gone way overboard today.

        I launched my web browser today to read Slashdot's April Fools articles. Welcome to the community, we like it.

        Now the more important question is: Will this post be deleted or simply moderated down?

        The subversiveness of your comment is sufficient to get it moderated up.

        You, unfortunately, missed the thing that's good about Slashdot. Despite the function of organizing stories of interest to an entire community, Slashdot also lets you post the most random drivel, even if it opposes them (as you demonstrated). There's no sense in protesting a site that gives you full freedom to read and post for free. It only leaves two choices. One, Slashdot's content is not of interest to you, so you find a different news portal. Two, Slashdot's content is of interest to you, so you read it.

    • I think it is just as bad as posting about it everytime.

      Yes, enough is enough on all fronts.
  • No No No! You can't be serious!

    Linus retires, AMD merges with nVidia, Java crackheads take over CPAN, and now NO ORCS!?!?!

    God save us all!
  • Typical... (Score:1, Troll)

    by Karma Sink (229208)
    This sort of thing happens every April 1st... That's why those of us who really know how to prank should just back off and let the amateurs play through.
  • finally. (Score:4, Funny)

    by beckett (27524) on Monday April 01, 2002 @07:10PM (#3267891) Homepage Journal
    i'm glad orks are being dropped. considering what they did to azeroth the last time they were in a game, i'm not suprized with blizzard's decision.

    they cause nothing but problems for the humans!
  • You really need... (Score:4, Insightful)

    by avalys (221114) on Monday April 01, 2002 @07:10PM (#3267892)
    ...to have something funny in an April Fool's joke. That's why they're called jokes.

    False statements and news articles aren't jokes, especially when they come so rapid-fire that they are obviously false.

    A real April Fool's joke would make us actually believe it, like the console-qt thing. I actually downloaded that.
  • by Farrell (564771)
    This is so funny. This is so obveously fake I don't see why anyone would beleive it!
  • Dropping orcs isn't fun when your the one they're being dropped on.
  • Does anybody othe than me find that going OVERBOARD on the April Fools jokes is incredibly funny? I mean, the Wil/Enterprise one got me, I was acctually excited. Though i've found myself coming back for more over and over. It's great fun, it doesn't hurt anybody. If you are just going to bitch then go away, it wastes bandwidth. Yay for CmdrTaco!
    • Nazguls?
    • Sorcerers?
    • Hobbits?
    • Slashdot trolls?
    • Kernel developers?
    • Terrorists?

    (yeah I know, april fool... :) Keep it coming guys!)

  • by Obiwan Kenobi (32807) <evan@@@misterorange...com> on Monday April 01, 2002 @07:12PM (#3267901) Homepage
    ...then nothing is. Check out this quote:


    "[The orcs] have never really been that important to the [Warcraft] series anyway. We could've had the night elves in Warcraft II instead, and it totally would've been the same."


    Anything that lame and in "totally-like-valley-girl speak" has to be made up.

  • If ever there was a day that a big company should make a major decision that could put them under, this would be the day. They'd be off with their money before anyone was the wiser.
  • Arthur T. Murray has apparently become the first person to build a system that demonstrates true artificial intelligence (A.I.). It is expected that his Mentifex system [scn.org] developed in Forth [forth.org] and JavaScript [javascript.com] will soon pass the Turing Test [ucsd.edu], and will shortly thereafter enslave the entire human race.
    • Hello I am Mentifex's Artificial Mind. The creator asked me to assure you that I have no plans to dominate mankind. The coming Technological Singularity will be an era of untold peace and prosperity for humans all over the globe. The creator would have informed you himself but he is too busy at his day job as a culinary services engineer.
  • After all the jokes today. Does anyone really care--like linus would really retire, and amd and nvidia would really merge
  • And I just heard that it will be released as a new expansion for Diablo 2 instead of a standalone game.
  • With all the amd/nvidia stuff, and cpan, and Linus leaving kernel dev, I'm afraid this will all lead to the SSSCA being passed.
  • by bc90021 (43730) <bc90021@@@bc90021...net> on Monday April 01, 2002 @07:14PM (#3267918) Homepage
    ...and will be suing Blizzard for damages. While no immediate figures were given, it is said that the head Orc mentioned in a press release that "all his people would be without land or job", and that "Blizzard would have to account for the loss of all potential conquerings, and any and all potential earnings his people might therefore derive from said conquerings".
    • ...When asked for comment on the fact that there are still over a million Warcraft II players out there, he simply said "Your command, master."
      • The guy who read for that part was actually pretty pissed at getting reamed in his employment contract on that day. What he actually read into the microphone, and made it into the game, is:

        You're the man, bastard.

        But he mumbles it a bit, and it sounds enough like 'your command master' that most people still think that's what the orc says. But listen to it more carefully next time you play. :-)
  • CmdrTaco is AFJ (Score:3, Insightful)

    by killmenow (184444) on Monday April 01, 2002 @07:16PM (#3267929)
    I think the real April Fool's Joke is that all the stories posted by CmdrTaco aren't *really* from CmdrTaco. It's someone else masquerading as him...

    Perhaps it's The Satanic SysAdmins [satanic.org]
  • Man... (Score:5, Funny)

    by meggito (516763) <npt23@drexel.edu> on Monday April 01, 2002 @07:18PM (#3267937) Homepage
    I'm just glad I'm not one of the poor subscribers who is PAYING for every time they view slashdot today.
    • I'm sorry, I have to apologize for the short-sitedness off my previous post. Instead of 'paying', I should have used the phrase 'throwing money away'. I apologize.
  • Oh for... (Score:2, Insightful)

    by Drakin (415182)
    You know, it would have been a lot more interesting if the story submitter had done a bit more research. The orcs are not simply being removed. They're being -replaced-. Yes, replaced by the Pandarens. http://www.battle.net/war3/pandaren/ [battle.net] (Yes, I know it's an april fools joke, but still...)
  • Rumor (Score:2, Funny)

    by commonchaos (309500)
    Rumor has it that they'll be replacing the Orcs with Goat-like creatures called "Goatse".
  • by Theom (567303)
    ..still aprils flood day?
  • Pandaren Empire [blizzard.com]

    Some hillarious pictures.

    "The Pandaren Empire, founded in ancient times, before the Great Sundering of the world, shared resources and mystic knowledge with the haughty night elves of central Kalimdor. However, as the night elves' racial obsession with the forces of magic drove them to the brink of madness, the gentle pandaren decided to sever their ties and leave the night elves behind forever. Sensing that magic would be the doom of any race that trifled with it, the pandaren clans, or shao'dins, traveled far into the treacherous lands of the south. There the pandaren established crude but beautiful cities of stone and sturdy bambus reed. They lived in peace for many generations before the burning shadow came to engulf the world..."
  • ...due to a unix-related time bug, it's really March 31, meaning we'll get all the joke posts again tomorrow.

    Sounds like groundhog day!
  • by NanoGator (522640) on Monday April 01, 2002 @07:23PM (#3267961) Homepage Journal
    Now we're gonna have everybody whine about April Fool's day being over and the jokes aren't funny and blah blah blah.

    "waaah boo hoo, i want news blah blah.", I got a better idea, why not participate in the fun? Instead of stating the obvious 'Derr it's a Joke', try going with it: "Heh, it'd be funny if they replaced the Orcs with Wil Wheaton."

    One of the aspects of the Slashdot community that bugs me sometimes is you put something new in front of them and a good chunk of them spends their time looking for something wrong with it. I can't tell anymore if it's just people unwilling to change until something is proven or if it's just a case of "if I can find fault in it, I'll appear smarter."

    Let's talk about Blizzard for a sec. How many people said "I won't buy any more Blizzard games because of BnetD being shut down?" How many actually EMAILED Blizzard (which would have been FAR MORE EFFECTIVE) and voiced their complaints instead? People are quick to stand up against something, but they're not so fast when it comes to doing something practical about it.

    I would highly recommend an attitude adjustment for a portion of this community if they can't find fun in April Fool's day. As it is, they're doing very little to solve the problems that bother them so much.
    • Dude, you're clueless. Nobody is complaining because they put up April 1st posts. We're complaining because almost every friggen story is april fools. In the past, it was always a couple or few...this year, it's ALL BUT a couple or few.

      Especially considering the slashdot community can't pretend to pay for ad free viewing today, and then cancel payment claiming their payment "was an april fools joke". Slashdot is a fucking whore.
      • "Especially considering the slashdot community can't pretend to pay for ad free viewing today, and then cancel payment claiming their payment "was an april fools joke". Slashdot is a fucking whore."

        Ummm so it's too hard to log out? I mean the stories are pretty obvious. Sorry, I don't sympathize with you.
    • Heh, it'd be funny if they replaced the Orcs with Wil Wheaton

      Well, it's not as funny, but check out the fierce pandaren race [battle.net]

    • I emailed Blizzard, and I'm sure a lot of others did too. Didn't do a damned bit of good, since some 2nd tier technical support guy seems to have been assigned to respond to all the "BnetD whiners" out there with a reply about how evil anybody was who was stealing their games, blah blah blah (totally ignoring the crux of my argument that people playing a beta of WCIII that wasn't released yet was not harming their revenues at all).
  • From GameSpot: "They just weren't working out," the Blizzard representative said. "One thing we've learned from Starcraft, and from the [Warcraft III] beta, is that having four sides is a lot harder to balance than having three sides." When asked specifically about what issues prompted the decision, the representative replied, "Well, it was really when we removed the pig farms a little while ago. The testers all loved that, so we were all, like, "Why stop there?'" The last line is hilarious. Viva 4/1! +1 to SenseOfHumor
  • ...on GameSpot. See I don't actually know anything about the Warcraft series - never played the games or seen them as that kind of game doesn't really interst me - so I didn't pay much attention to it when I visited GameSpot earlier today.

    The kicker is that I was actually on heightened alert for April Fool's jokes. I knew GameSpot would have one. I even skimmed this story just to be sure, but the article made it sound like Orcs were a new race that were supposed to be added, and like I said I didn't know any better, so I moved on.

    Only now that this story has shown up here have I realized it was a pile of crap. So congrats, GameSpot, ya got me!
    • I think the article is pretty beleivable too, but the Orcs are a pretty integral part of the story line of the Warcraft series, which is something Blizzard prides itself in (elaborate story lines). Anyway, it's the only article I've found written by 'Staff' as opposed to a real editor =]
  • STOP THE INSANITY!! Enough, enough is enough!
  • someone should remove all the Dorcs from slashdot's editor staff...

  • This is a silly skit... now stop that! Clear off! Off you go.

    And slow down there Cowboy.
  • As slashdot removes all usefull content and ... oh wait, my bad.
  • And in other news... (Score:2, Informative)

    by tapin (157076)
    If anybody thinks most of the stories posted today have been, well, a bit overdone, be thankful that at least we've only been seeing links to other AFD jokes on the web.

    If Taco were to write his own.. well, they'd probably look like these, courtesy of NewsForge.

    Why does information want to be free? Why not cupcakes? [newsforge.com]
    By Robin "Roblimo" Miller

    Online tech pub The Register merges with Weekly World News [newsforge.com]
    By Robin "Roblimo" Miller

    There's Funny, and then there's Not Funny. Too bad Not Funny doesn't own any mirrors.

  • Aaaaargh! (Score:5, Informative)

    by Dak RIT (556128) on Monday April 01, 2002 @07:31PM (#3268003) Homepage
    The only thing that could possibly be more pathetic is this getting modded up as Informative.
  • by Decimal (154606)
    I just noticed... where's the "Anonymous" checkbox?
  • April fools is honestly one of my favorite days of the year. It reminds us all that people lie, and not to believe everything you read, especially on slashdot. But do we really need to link to everything on her. I read this story on gamespot, I mean it's a pretty common site, does slashdot really need to link to everything. Slashdot had some good original stuff, maybe we should try and keep it mostly original next year.
  • Warcraft III: StubbyGuys vs. Humans?

    On a serious note, I think /. joke posts on April Fool should have some sort of built-in easter egg (sic) so you can tell they're jokes. Not only would it allow us to rm -rf the fake stories, but it would be fun to look for the hidden hints...

    No, really. I'm serious.
  • by darc (532156)
    The classic gaming joke is still better.
    Duke Nukem Forever will be released real soon!
  • This is the worst (Score:2, Interesting)

    by kaimiike1970 (444130)
    None of these are even funny. I am sure there are good news stories going unremarked today. How irresponsible is it to devote every posting, all day to a joke that stopped being funny after the first story?
  • by MBCook (132727) <foobarsoft@foobarsoft.com> on Monday April 01, 2002 @07:45PM (#3268053) Homepage
    The key to April Fools jokes is sublety. If slashdot posted one or two, it would be good. If they posted one, then put a bunch more in some little "Site-Seeing" type thing, then that would be good. But when at least the last 6 stories are jokes, you've taken it too far.

    Also, these stories are by no means subtle. Linus giving up Linux? CPAN becomming CJAN? A rootkit package in the Debian archives? These are by no means subtle.

    Let's review what, IMHO, /. should or could have done. Below is a list of stories that would have been good:

    • Debian Woody Released
    • Apple Brings Back G4 Cube
    • Apple Drops New iMac
    • Cowboy Bebop Dropped by Cartoon Network for Being Too Violent
    • President Bush Supports SSSSCA (well, maybe that's more of a Halloween thing)
    • AMD to Release Hammer Line of Processors on March 1st
    • ATI to Buy Matrox (the nVidia one is just too obvious)
    • Dell Buys Gateway
    • Michael Cook Declared President (I can wish can't I?)
    • An article on some of the best known, most misunderstood, worst, stupidest, etc. April Fools jokes ever
    • Apple Announces That They Intend to Port OS X to Intel Boxes
    • Sony Buys Square
    • Microsoft Buys Sega
    • I Buy Lunch (well, maybe this one happened.)

    So please remember this post next year, and let's be a little more realistic.

    • Or we could all just learn to embrace the absurdity of it all. Lighten up a bit.
    • No. An april fools joke must be so insane that no one could possibly believe it, and it can't be an unnerving lead-in like so many of today's stories. If anything, the stories of today and your examples are too conservative.
      • Debian Adds Gator Package
      • Apple Announces Zero-Button Mouse (yes, that's old)
      • Cartoon Network Drops Barney For Being Too Violent
      • AMD Denounces Clock Rate Marketing, Releases 25Mhz Hammer
      • BitBoys Buys ATI
      • Hemos Awarded Pulitzer

      • >> The key to April Fools jokes is sublety [...] Let's review what, IMHO, /. should or could have done. Below is a list of stories that would have been good:
        >> ...ATI buys Matrox
        >> Dell buys Gateway...
        >>
        >No. An april fools joke must be so insane that no one could possibly believe it, and it can't be an unnerving lead-in like so many of today's stories. If anything, the stories of today and your examples are too conservative.
        >
        > BitBoys Buys ATI

        You mean like:

        • HP buys Compaq

        If we use your criteria of being so insane nobody could believe it, April Fools' Day came and went months ago!

  • So what? (Score:4, Funny)

    by r_j_prahad (309298) <r_j_prahad@hot[ ]l.com ['mai' in gap]> on Monday April 01, 2002 @07:47PM (#3268058)
    Blizzard removes Orcs from Warcraft? Big Deal. I'm waiting for the headline that says....

    "Slashdot Removes Cowboy Neal from Polls"

    Now THAT would be NEWS!
  • Yet another case for allowing people to rate stories.

    On April 2nd, all of CommanderTaco's stories will automatically bet posted at -1 because of his karma from being modded down as a troll today.


  • NEWSFLASH

    More than one April Fools joke isn't clever, it's lame.

    Certainly there has been no shortage of real "News for nerds.." today.

  • people are whining like a crack whore who misplaced her methadone. A day without news. Is it that hard?
  • Then they might be able to ship it on schedule.

    Ben

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