Humans Hold Off the Machines... For Now 338
Murr writes "The six game match between Gary Kasparov and the Deep Junior program ended in a draw today. Kasparov won game 1 and lost game 3 to a blunder, while the other 4 games were drawn. While the quality of play was not outstanding, after the recent matches of Kramnik and Kasparov against commercial programs running on (high end) commodity hardware, it's becoming apparent that chess programs are getting quite competitive with top human players."
Fuck the computers (Score:2, Funny)
Faulty Logic Man Strikes Again (Score:2, Funny)
Kasparov can't beat the computer.
Kasparov is World Champion.
I can't beat GNUChess.
That means I'm world champion quality!!!!
Oh, my God! I'm as good as Kasparov! I KNEW IT!!!
I can't wait to tell mom she was wrong about me. I'm NOT an idiot! Hahahahaha! Take *that*, mom!
Doomed! You are all doomed!! (Score:3, Funny)
Hope he is a better sportsman this time... (Score:2, Funny)
So what? (Score:5, Funny)
The board would disappear while the machine was thinking...and sometimes the machine would give itself extra pieces...or it might forget the moves, but still, ZX-80 kicked ass!
Ya... (Score:2, Funny)
The top 16 signs you won't beat a computer at ches (Score:2, Funny)
16. Let's just say that in the movie version of your life, you'd be played by Pauly Shore.
15. Your idea of "conquering Deep Blue" involves employing your gastro-intestinal system to attack the Tidy Bowl man.
14. The computer: A highly sophisticated electronic brain from IBM. You: A highly intoxicated electrician from NJ.
13. Before moving your queen, you insist on consulting Eddie Murphy.
12. Computer: lauded by scientists for its ability to calculate millions of chess moves per minute. You: lauded by fraternity buddies for your ability to pass gas and burp simultaneously.
11. You can't make a single move without thinking of huge juicy shrimp.
10. In your circle, "castling" means holing-up in your trailer with an AK-47 and a bottle of bourbon.
9. Your "garlic breath" strategy fails to intimidate this particular opponent.
8. Your populist leanings always result in you inciting your pawns to wipe out their own king and queen.
7. Kasparov's idol: Bobby Fisher. Your idol: Eddie Fisher.
6. The press has nicknamed you "Deep Doo."
5. You plan to use the "James T. Kirk Strategy" -- talk the computer into blowing itself up.
4. Video tapes of you shouting at the ATM are legendary among the bank security staff.
3. Computer: Intel Inside. You: Imbecile Inside.
2. After your move, you slap the computer monitor and shout, "King me, Pentium-breath!"
1. You counter *every* move with a "Smirnoff opening."
from here [thecoffeeplace.com]
Chess as a Sport? (Score:5, Funny)
Chess is a sport? I've heard that Contract Bridge has been suggested as an Olympic sport. Hmm. Is it too much to hope for computer games as an Olympic sport? :-)
Commentator: "Jones moves his elf into Manlobbi's shop, the little dog picks up a spear, the tension is incredible, will the little dog drop it in the doorway, has Jones trained the dog eith enough tripe rations?"
John Madden: "I know what a dog would do for tripe rations, and I've tried them myself, they're really good with some fries and ketchup... etc."
Re:Go? (Score:5, Funny)
My favourite game is "Interpersonal Human Relationships". Computers totally suck at that.
Once I met a woman in a bar who was dating an HP calculator. After talking to me for 30 seconds she ditched the calculator. Four years later, the calculator is still waiting for her to come back from the ladies room.
Re:Why wasn't it made 7 games? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Fuck the computers (Score:5, Funny)
I will be worried when (Score:2, Funny)
And now for a musical interlude... (Score:3, Funny)
Artist: Moxy Früvous
Album: Live Noise
Track: Kasparov vs. Deep Blue (Recorded live at MIT)
(Murray) Well, I... I do have a question. How many people here were voting for Deep Blue? And how many people were voting for Kasparov? Ah.....humanity has hope - still, I suppose.
(Jian) How many people are like actually disappointed that the human lost. No no, disappointed I mean. Duh! No, Because like I just don't get it, you know? I mean, you know? What's the f*cking big deal, you know? It's a machine, right? I don't know. I made the point in Albany the other day which apparently lost on all the Albanians.
(Murray) I didn't get it either. [laughter]
(Dave) That's not all that was lost on the Albanians.
(Jian) They're still behind the times.
(Dave) There's a lot of foreign aid going on there.
(Murray) Your point was if there's a fire, Deep Blue wouldn't run out of the room.
(Jian) Exactly!
(Mike) Couldn't run out of the room.
(Jian) That's exactly my point. If an attractive person walks into the room, a person that would be attractive to Deep Blue, it can't do anything about it. That's my point. Kasparov can approach the person.
(Murray) The attractive person.
(Jian) No! Here's my point. My point is a calculator. That's my point. Right?
(Murray) No, let's get back to the fire.
(Jian) No, hang on. No, no, the calc...forget the fire, because apparently it's, you know, I'm talking on a different level.
(Murray) I - Clearly!
(Jian) Here's the thing. Here's the thing. A calculator, right, a common everyday calculator.
(Murray) I'm with you.
(Jian) A calculator will, you know, it...let's say, let's play the adding game, right? Who can add faster: a calculator or a woman or man? A calculator can, right? So what's the big deal? We know that there are instruments... we know that there are machines... we know that there are computers, etcetera.
(Murray) Right.
(Jian) that can do things that. It's just because the thing won at chess, right? I don't understand what the big deal is.
(Murray) Your point is if you light a match near your calculator, it's not going to scurry away. It's all relative.
(Jian) No, my point is...My point is if there's a calculator. My point is... oh alright, okay, I'll bring it back to the fire for you, because I know you're obsessed. If there's a fire in my living room, where me and my calculator are sitting, I can escape the fire.
(Dave) Yeah, but if uh...
(Jian) But my calculator can't.
(Murray) Is there a logic course here that one of us can enroll in? [audience laughs - this is MIT...
(Jian) Well, I think, I think they know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the fact that the machine is programmed to only do one thing. It can't do anything else. The fire was just one example. Pick anything, anything.
(Mike) Locusts.
(Murray) A flood. How about a flood? Can he escape a flood?
(Dave) Buddy boy...
(Jian, laughing) Kasparov can....
(Mike) A plague of frogs. [laughter]
(Jian) No, say there's an, say there's an earthquake. Right.
(Murray) Now, there's a good one.
(Jian) There's an earthquake down the middle of the room, the chess room. Kasparov can get up and move. Deep Blue can't.
(Murray) It falls into the chasm.
(Jian) That's my point.
(Murray) Right.
(Dave) But if they built Deep Blue in a door frame then there's no room for Kasparov to stand... to fight the earthquake. Then they're doubly screwed.
(Jian) See...see...they'd have to program Deep Blue to escape the fire. That's my thing.
(Murray) But they can do that in a couple of years.
(Mike) You know we were talking about... we were talking about disaster movies. This would be the perfect disaster movie. Just have an endless succession of these scenes where Deep Blue is just sitting there. "It's the locusts" or whatever and Kasparov is just running his little piggy legs out of the room. "I'm free again, you f*cker!"
[sorry if this sucks to read - the lameness filter wouldn't let me post it with a blank line between speakers]