Paranoia RPG Returns in New Edition 363
Allen Varney writes "The classic tabletop roleplaying game PARANOIA, originally published by West End Games in the 1980s, returns in a new edition this August from Mongoose Publishing. PARANOIA, the game of a darkly humorous future, is set in an underground Alpha Complex ruled by an insane Computer. I am writing and (re)designing the main rulebook, under direction from original PARANOIA co-designer Greg Costikyan, with contributions from novelist and game designer Aaron Allston. I'd be happy to answer questions from Slashdot's gamers."
ahh (Score:5, Funny)
I have a question... (Score:5, Funny)
..ruled by an insane Computer.. (Score:5, Funny)
One hasbro (Score:5, Funny)
One Hasbro(R) to rule them all
One Hasbro(R) to find them.
One Hasbro(R) to bring them all
And in the darkness bind them
Parker Brothers(R), Milton Bradley(R), Selchow & Richter(R), TSR(R), SPI(R), Avalon Hill(R), and Wizards of the Coast(R) are registered trademarks of Hasbro, Inc. Their use here is not to be construed as a challenge to their trademark status.
Re:yay first post! (Score:2, Funny)
Paranoia! Hoooorray! (Score:2, Funny)
Trust the computer (Score:5, Funny)
- Dave #2
Purchase yours today, citizen! (Score:5, Funny)
so, uh.... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:ahh (Score:3, Funny)
With or without hormone supressant therepy? Bzzt! Wrong answer, citizen! (*splat*).
Long live Death Leopards!
Re:I have a question... (Score:5, Funny)
*zott*
Re:I have a question... (Score:5, Funny)
The Computer decrees: (Score:4, Funny)
Re:I have a question... (Score:2, Funny)
you're in the know! (Score:3, Funny)
Does the computer REALLY love us?
alright! (Score:0, Funny)
Re:yay first post! (Score:5, Funny)
Please report to the nearest termination center.
Thank you!
Re:so, uh.... (Score:3, Funny)
Tinfoil hats (Score:3, Funny)
Re:so, uh.... (Score:3, Funny)
Failure to comply is also an act of Treason.
HAVE A NICE DAYCYCLE!!!
Praise the Computer (Score:3, Funny)
Oh wait, that's illegal...
(enter clone #2)
Can I get Ultra-Violet clerance now?
(enter clone #3)
(Happy Officer takes a core sample)
(enter clone #4)
Can I have a happy pill?
Re:you're in the know! (Score:4, Funny)
Reporting a Commie Mutant Traitor expressing seditious doubts of the Computer's benevolence!
In-character (Score:5, Funny)
I think this is the only time I've ever seen a product-existance-denial actually be in-character.
Alpha Complex and other tunes (Score:4, Funny)
Oh, I'm glad I'm not an Alpha Complex commie,
That is what I'd really hate to be
Cuz if I were an Alpha Complex commie,
All the citizens would shoot at me.
Or this one, to the tune of Billy Joel's "Piano Man":
It's 9 o'clock in Computer time,
A communist crowd shuffles in
There's a White-Class sitting next to me
But I'm not cleared to look straight at him...
Let's not go there, though. That was a silly time.
Re:Beta Testers old Module (Score:3, Funny)
Stick to soilent green (Score:5, Funny)
You'd be a lot safer sticking to soilent green. In fact, there was a lot more of the stuff around after this accident. Not sure why.
Minsky (Score:5, Funny)
I can't wait. (Score:4, Funny)
Like Slashdot with dice!
It will be printed on black paper... (Score:4, Funny)
Ok, I have a question... (Score:3, Funny)
We all know we won't have a high enough security clearance for the answers.
Sorry...this thread requires ultraviolet clearance (Score:2, Funny)
Did you read this thread?
Re:Matrix and Terminator (Score:4, Funny)
XP? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Paranoia! Hoooorray! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:And its the basis for... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Matrix and Terminator (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Be careful (Score:3, Funny)
My Paranoia experience (Score:5, Funny)
One of the guys decided to do a one-off Paranoia game. Here's how it started:
COMPUTER: Troubleshooters! Report to briefing room B-X-37-Y for your mission briefing!
ME: Friend computer, where might one find riefing room B-X-37-Y?
COMPUTER: What is your clearance?
ME: Red, friend computer.
COMPUTER: You are not cleared for that information.
Analiese: [sarcastically, momentarily channeling her D&D character] Well, I cast a spell to locate the briefing room.
ME: Argh! Mutant powers! Shoot her shoot her shoot her!
[Much expendature of Red lasers into Analiese.]
Analiese Clone #2: [arriving] You guys all suck.
ME: Argh! Questioning the wisdom of Friend Computer! Commie traitor! Shoot her shoot her shoot her!
[Much expendature of Red lasers into Analiese's second clone.]
COMPUTER: Well done, citizen! You are now cleared for Orange access.
And things degenerated from there. I don't think we made it out of the briefing room.
Re:SYB Notes (Score:5, Funny)
The first guideline: KILL THE BASTARDS. (that is, the players). If you were overly swamped by notes from the players, the appropriate response would be to discourage further notes through the judicious application of death. Commies.
Re:Christ! That brings me back! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:SYB Notes (Score:3, Funny)
Re:There is a god! er I mean computer, dont shoot (Score:5, Funny)
Sounds about right to me. In a first-time Paranoia party, if they survive all the way to the mission briefing room, you are clearly doing something wrong. :)
Warning: The following text is classified ULRAVIOLET. Do not read if you are not a Game Master. Should you accidentally make out some of the words as you scroll by, terminate yourself immediately. Your clone will be commondated for your loyalty.
One campaign which I designed that I never get tired of running with new groups of players is a scenario where key high-level people in Alpha Complex who were members of the "trekkie" secret society conspired to have a fully-functional "Enterprise" built. The party is sent up to command the bridge. Lots of great conflicting interests from secret societies (The "Whovians" consider it blasphemous and want it destroyed, for example), lots of tech that can go wrong: There are the insanely dangerous transporters. All five clones are stored in stasis on board for faster activation from the captain's chair (now you know what all those buttons are for!) An android First Officer who suffers from MPD (fans of different eras of Star Trek wanted him to be like different "logical" characters from the series, so one moment he talks and acts like Spock, the next like Data.) Lasers are replaced with "Phasers," which penetrate reflective armor, but are prone to "overload" and violently explode.
I even wrote an element of the campaign where they actually encounter a "Klingon" opponent, but the one party that lived long enough to encounter them never even turned on the view screen. When they were detected by the ship's sensors, the conversation between me and the guy playing the Communication Officer went sort of like this:
"A red light starts blinking on your console."
"Does anybody else seem to have noticed."
"No, everybody else is too preoccupied"
"I ignore it then."
A few minutes later...
"The light has begun blinking again, faster this time."
"I unscrew it and pretend nothing is wrong." (Note: clearly an experienced Paranoia player, that one!)
Re:I have a question... (Score:4, Funny)
myself and my friends.
Even when playing D&D, at least one of the team
would start back-stabbing people, if it offered
the slightest touch of comedic value.
Re:I have a question... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:..ruled by an insane Computer.. (Score:2, Funny)
Just for that, all your search results for the net week will now link to goatse!
Bwo-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaw!
Come, meatbags, work for me [google.ch]!
Re:Stick to soilent green (Score:5, Funny)
Not at my clearance level.
Eve-R-Dense
Re:Purchase yours today, citizen! (Score:3, Funny)
Yeah, that'll learn 'em.
in the booth (Score:2, Funny)
(Fry) "I'm not so sure I--"
(booth) "Slow and Painful. Thank you, have a nice day."
(Bender) "Bring it on!"
(Fry) "Aaaaaah!"
With apologies to Matt Groening. That really was the greatest space opera ever (Star trek, of course, being prophecy). =)
Re:Are commies still the computer's nemesis? (Score:5, Funny)
I'm surprised at you, citizen! Don't you see that traitors are everywhere? The Department of Unspecified Threat Assessment has recently raised the Unfocused Anxiety Index to THREE, and I don't have to tell you what that means.
We will keep the Communists -- that is, the absurdist PARANOIA flavor of Communists established in past adventures -- but we'll also add plenty of new and subversive secret societies, new "service firms" (privatized service groups) in bitter commercial rivalry, and weirdly altered bot behavior provoked by zealous open-source bot-liberation advocates. Among many other things. Trust me -- enemies are everywhere!
Re:Political correctness ? (Score:3, Funny)
Serious question:
Is waiting until after you've released PARANOIA XP, and until after I've purchased my copy, before reporting both of you for treason on the grounds of that remark, itself an act of treason?
(Or is reporting you for "being inalterably opposed to such thought control" treason, on the grounds that as the sole protector of our freedoms, The Computer is also inalterably opposed to such thought control?)
Re:Paranoia! Hoooorray! (Score:4, Funny)
Wheel out Llywelyn_03
Re:Purchase yours today, citizen! (Score:3, Funny)
Report to the Bright Future Reeducation immeidately for Preventive Clone Activation Sequence initiation.
The Computer is your friend, and only seeks the best interests of you and Alpha Complex. Have a nice day!
Re:And its the basis for... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:And its the basis for... (Score:1, Funny)
Please report to the nearest termination center.
Have a nice daycycle!!!
I'm turning you all in! (Score:3, Funny)
Computer, I request immediate authority for summary execution of all fellow forum readers! I'll fill out the termination vouchers in triplicate later.
Damn I love Paranoia!
- OrbNobz
Re:What I loved about Paranoia (Score:3, Funny)
Another quote from the second edition manual (which is actually a quote from another book whose title I forget):
Re:My Paranoia experience (Score:4, Funny)
It was a group new to the game, and so I played the old "briefing room is 30 feet away down a violet clearance hallway" gags. There were of course heavily armed guards and lots of security cameras so it was impossible to just sprint down it. One of the characters jumped onto the back of another character and started choking him for no particular reason. Another player takes out his laser pistol to shoot the attacker off the back of his friend and scores a critical hit killing both of them. The other players start accusing the shooter of deliberately killing and arguments/pleading ensues. Another player notices that the guards let a Bot pass no questions asked, so he rounds the corner and finds a trash barrel, puts it over his head and starts to walk down the hall. When the guards ask what the hell he thinks he is doing he just replies: "I am a Robot beep beep boop" The guards let him pass. The rest of the group notices by now that the ruse worked so they start running around looking for more trashcans.
When they try to cross the hallway the guards are not fooled this time and ask each one to prove that they are in fact robots and not just troubleshooter scum with trash bins on their heads. The best way to tell if they are robots it's decided, is to make them all dance "the robot" The resulting dance contest forced us to stop the game for 10 minuets before we could stop laughing.
Re:Christ! That brings me back! (Score:4, Funny)
so you and your brother played a lot of Synnibar?
Re:Matrix and Terminator (Score:3, Funny)
It's called Brazil....
Re:NO! (Score:3, Funny)
I seem to recall the Armed Forces sourcebook containing a variant marching cadence that ended with:
Treason is the life for me,computer's now my enemy!
People would blanch as the Sargeant lead them up to this line. Singing it was obviously treason and grounds for termination. Breaking cadence was obviously treason and grounds for termination. Good times.
One thing I really wish I could find was my copy of the R&D Catalogue. The description of the "IT" superweapon remains possibly the funniest piece of game writing I have ever read.
IT is finished!
-- YLFIRe:SYB Notes (Score:4, Funny)
Memorable slashdot comment from way back (Score:3, Funny)
(At least I think I remembered the wording correctly)
Re:From the article (Score:3, Funny)
Besides, are you really sure you want to tie the game's reputation to Microsoft's? ;)
The computer fits very well with the Microsoft standards. They both want you to be happy. They both know what's best for you. And they both have the same exellent quality and stability. Obviously the computer is running some version of windows.
I'll just go terminate myself now for knowing that, goodbye friends and have a nice daycycle. By the way since you hearn me you might want to tag along with me to the food vats.
Re:The computer is your friend. (Score:2, Funny)
Please take your happy pill.