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John Woo & Metroid the Movie? 446

Posted by CmdrTaco from the thats-a-little-creepy dept.
An anonymous reader writes "John Woo has optioned Nintendo's best-selling video game franchise Metroid for the big screen, says The Hollywood Reporter. Woo will produce the sci-fi movie and has the option to direct. The plan is to release the first film before 2006. The movie will center on the origins of the game's female protagonist, sexy bounty hunter Samus Aran, and relate her adventures battling the insidious life-sucking Metroids and their controlling force, Mother Brain."
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John Woo & Metroid the Movie? More

John Woo & Metroid the Movie?

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  • Woo! (Score:5, Funny)

    by shadowcabbit ( 466253 ) <cx AT thefurryone DOT net> on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @10:39AM (#8791948) Journal
    I'm sold on the idea. I just wonder how he's going to get the doves to fly through space.

    • John Woo??! no please! (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Zangief ( 461457 ) on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @11:45AM (#8792782) Homepage Journal
      I think that a Metroid Movie should be an almost silent one. Depicting the loneliness of Samus against the mysterious space pirates and Metroids.

      John Woo is specialist on complicated and espectacular stunts. Metroid shines on putting you on an alien world. You don't go with your guns blazing in Metroid, dodging bullets ala Matrix.

      This has the potential to suck

    • Idea sucks (Score:5, Interesting)

      by bonch ( 38532 ) on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @01:18PM (#8793897)
      This movie will suffer the same thing the recent Metroids have suffered, with the possible exception of Prime because of the way it was done--obsessing over Samus the character and her origins.

      It's a bit like the difference between GTA3 and Vice City. One was an originless, storyless everyman people could live vicariously through, the second game was good but included a character hard for me to relate with.

      The same with the Metroids. They keep trying to introduce plot and storylines now, cut-scenes and so forth, when the first game and Super Metroid were about being sent to some far-flung planet and travelling deeper and deeper underground into claustrophic caverns and tunnels, battling bizarre creatures. The fact that you were in a cool-looking suit was great, but even better was that it was just taken for granted that you were Samus Aran, a woman. It was never really a big deal. Even in Super Metroid, in which you already knew it was a woman. She just happened to be one.

      This movie's going to play off the whole woman thing and make it extremely cheesy. I liked Samus when she was just some mysterious, silent bounty hunter you knew little about. Now they're trying to fill in her origins, storyline, motivations, and so on, and it doesn't feel like it belongs. Somehow, Prime pulled it off because they never really revealed too much and kept things myserious and ambient. Most of the plot was revealed through Chozo lore on the walls.

      I guess it's one of those situations where you know you and your game-playing buddies who love Metroid could sit around one night and come up with a better story and movie tone than the one that's going to come out from John Woo...and it's going to be extremely frustrating when you see the resulting movie. Then again, this doesn't necessarily mean a movie will get made...just that he's signed on if one happens.

    • Or if under 6 hours, maybe just without the visor? (Score:5, Funny)

      by FearTheFrail ( 666535 ) on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @02:26PM (#8794809)
      If the movie can go from start to finish in less than 3 hours, will we see Samus in a skimpy outfit at the end, after the credits?
  • I've never heard of the metroid series and it's mentioned as Nintendo's largest franchise.

  • Blargh! (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Kenja ( 541830 ) on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @10:40AM (#8791955)
    John Woo is a director that realy should not be given too much money to work with. His low budget movies are great, while his cash cow flicks (MI2 etc) just hurt to watch. He needs to get back together with Chow Yun-Fat and make a good action movie again.

    • Woo (Score:5, Interesting)

      by dolo666 ( 195584 ) on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @10:51AM (#8792080) Journal
      You're right. He does better with less. I really liked his early movies, but all his recent ones reek of Hollywood money-magic. Every shot, every plot, every thought has to rock or forget it, IMHO. Instead of "The Natives take the fort", try actually going into detail about it, and examine the usefullness of shots in their reflection of plots. Metroid movie? Sounds like an easy out, because Woo will only have to film it from the side!

      • For better or worst... Woo is honest in his aims. (Score:2, Interesting)

        by Anonymous Coward
        He's flat out said that he doesn't want to do the over-the-top ballet of violence, it's bad for children. (I'd like to put a bullet in tipper gore's head for that). It seems to really be a trend anyway, directors mostly mellow with age. But he doesn't try to make excusses, he acknowledges and embraces it.

        That said. While his action sequences are nothing short of operatic, it's his meditations on fraternity and duty that I find resonate with me. If he wants to give a little back to the kids ala Robert
    • It may be that he's just not a good director any more.

      I'm guessing the low budget movies you're thinking of are also his early ones?

      People change...

  • what I want to know... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @10:40AM (#8791958)
    If women start dressing and acting like Samus Aran, will they be called metroidsexuals?

  • Oh, god... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Psmylie ( 169236 ) on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @10:40AM (#8791960) Homepage
    I just hope they don't try to make Samus "sexy". The last thing this movie needs is some bubble-brained ditz bouncing around Zebes in a slinky catsuit. What's great about Samus is that she totally whoops butt. And no fricken' Liv Tyler!

    • Re:Oh, god... (Score:3, Insightful)

      by shadowcabbit ( 466253 )
      Well, Samus herself is blonde... On the plus side, I really doubt they'd write the suit out of the story. After all, it's practically one of the defining elements of the series; it'd be like making Tomb Raider with [random flat-chested actress].

      I just wonder about the trailers and TV spots. How many non-gamers' minds will be blown if the ads never show our beloved butt-kicker out of the suit?

      • Re:Oh, god... (Score:2, Insightful)

        by terrab0t ( 559047 )
        That's a good question, but I'm going to guess that they will indeed have some hot babe play the girl in the suit, and that girl will indeed show up in the first preview. Sex sells. The hot babe factor will probebly end up being one of the major money making factors for this movie.

        The big "OMG! It's a chick!" revelation we went through just won't be possible here.

        • Re:Oh, god... (Score:3, Interesting)

          by Mmm coffee ( 679570 )

          The big "OMG! It's a chick!" revelation we went through just won't be possible here.

          I think that would work very well in a Metroid movie. The whole movie revolves around this massive space suit/cyborg/bounty hunter/killing machine thing with a massively distorted and completely inhuman voice, acting kind of like Arnie from Terminator 2. A biological galactic war happens during the movie, and when it concludes she takes off that massive 50 pound helmet to yell at some politician that fscked up and made t

          • Re:Oh, god... (Score:4, Insightful)

            by Dirtside ( 91468 ) on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @01:50PM (#8794273) Journal
            There's much better reasons than "a movie needs it's [sic] signature fuck toy" why having Samus in the suit for the whole movie wouldn't work:

            - Nobody would identify with the character, as Samus would just be (essentially) a personality-free robot. Not acceptable for a film protagonist.

            - Nobody would want to play that character. You wouldn't even need a real actress for it, you just get a stuntperson to play the whole thing, and have the actress only show up for the reveal at the end -- and as far as an actor's concerned, a cameo is not a real role. She wouldn't get to actually do any *acting*. And obscuring the actor's face for the entire movie prevents them from using their greatest asset. (Which was one problem with the Matrix films -- many of the actors had their eyes obscured for large parts of the film. Granted, it didn't matter for Keanu, since he can't act anyway, but everyone else suffered for it.)

            Yeah, the Terminator was scary, but he wasn't the protagonist in the first film -- and in the second film, they humanized him by letting him learn how to act human. In T2 he didn't have "a massively distorted and completely inhuman voice". Arnie in T2 is a great character because he he's humanized.

            Also note that the whole "Unidentifiable badass turns out to be a woman" is an *incredibly* old cliche. It was old when Metroid did it -- the reason we geeks thought it was so cool was because video game protagonists were almost never women. It wasn't an old cliche in the world of video games. But in a movie, the reveal would have much less power, and would very likely not affect the story much. Oh, so she's a woman. Big whoop. Maybe if Aliens had never been made (or any other movie with a badass heroine), it might work, but as it stands, it won't. (Nevermind that keeping that fact secret would be nigh impossible -- Samus is the main character, meaning the actress playing her would have top billing. Everyone would know going in that Samus was a woman.)

      • Re:Oh, god... (Score:2, Insightful)

        by haystor ( 102186 )
        Yea, they wouldn't write out the suits of Starship Troopers just so you could see faces, would they?

        I'd be (pleasantly) surprised if they were to take a star and bottle her up in a suit for most of the movie.

    • Re:Oh, god... (Score:5, Interesting)

      by AKAImBatman ( 238306 ) <akaimbatman@gmaYEATSil.com minus poet> on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @10:48AM (#8792047) Homepage Journal
      It would be even better if they kept her gender a secret until later in the movie. Hardcore video game enthusists would know the secret, but it would be a surprise for everyone else. Even better would be to throw out some indirection to make the gamers thing that they changed her to a he for the movie. :-D

    • Cheers to that. Here's hoping he doesn't Tomb Raider-ify her.
    • just hope they don't try to make Samus "sexy".

      Um, I disagree. Samus should be a babe.

      The last thing this movie needs is some bubble-brained ditz bouncing around Zebes in a slinky catsuit.

      That's exactly what this movie needs. I just hope they pick a hot actress who CAN ACT!

      What's great about Samus is that she totally whoops butt. And no fricken' Liv Tyler!

      If Anna Nicole Smith wasn't so God awfully stupid, she would have been the perfect Samus. We need a smart, tough, busty woman with a nice rump t

      • Re:Oh, god... (Score:3, Insightful)

        by Senjutsu ( 614542 )
        If Anna Nicole Smith wasn't so God awfully stupid, she would have been the perfect Samus. We need a smart, tough, busty woman with a nice rump to play Samus. I'm thinking that Lynn McCrossin [pecpanther.com] would be a good candidate.

        o_O

        If there's one thing reading these "if I were in charge of the movie, I'd do this..." posts on slashdot should convince us all of, it's that we should all be glad that none of the people on slashdot are in charge of the movie.

  • Once again (Score:5, Funny)

    by Tebriel ( 192168 ) on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @10:40AM (#8791963)
    I weep for humanity, for I remember the Super Mario Bros. movie.

    No good can come from this.
  • Wonder if they're gonna get Angelina Jolie for this one too...

  • They should do like the original game.. (Score:5, Interesting)

    by pacsman ( 629749 ) on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @10:41AM (#8791970)
    and hide the main character in a suit so people who never played the game don't realize she's a she until the very end when she takes off her helmet. They should not, however, emulate the game's graphics or endlessly confusing mazes. However, the turning into a ball and other stuff of that nature would be cool.
    • hide the main character in a suit so people who never played the game don't realize she's a she until the very end when she takes off her helmet.

      Now that would be a very interesting idea. I think it would be really awesome if the whole movie has pretty much no dialogue and starts out with Samus coming onto a planet in full gear, have the character and environment development through this suited character exploring the environment, like the game goes. No dialogue and a world devoid of humanoid life. Inste
      • I think it would be really awesome if the whole movie has pretty much no dialogue and starts out with Samus coming onto a planet in full gear, have the character and environment development through this suited character exploring the environment, like the game goes.

        Yes, I'm sure that would keep them riveted to their seats. 90 minutes of a big screen game demo. I'm bored just reading this. It'd be like sitting through Winged Migration [imdb.com] again, weighing suicide versus sitting through the rest of this borin
  • "The movie will center on the origins of the game's female protagonist, sexy bounty hunter Samus Aran,"

    But I'm afraid it would be like Tomb Raider in outer space... Who else would capture our, uhm, hearts better than Ms. Jolie?
  • Should I be excited that they are making a movie out of my favorite video game franchise...

    Or terrified that they will desecrate it.

    After hearing about Starship Troopers 2, I'm taking the latter for now :-(
  • If he can pull it off - hats off to him... If not, then it will be a failure like almost every other video-game based movie that has been producted my Nuttyw.....errr Hollywood.

  • It seems oddly appropriate.. (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @10:43AM (#8791996)
    ..that John Woo would license a movie of which the central theme is the destruction of a brain.
  • I can see it not: Jackie Chan dresses up as a woman (again)_and Chris tucker as Mother Brain screaming at Samus "Never fire missiles at a black Woman's Jar, Girl." Then they break out into synchronised Beach Boys lipsyncing.

  • Getting ahead of themselves (Score:3, Funny)

    by hehman ( 448117 ) on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @10:44AM (#8792002) Homepage Journal
    The plan is to release the first film before 2006

    Yes, but when are the sequel(s) coming out, so they can join the distinguished list of video game movie sequels:

    1. Tomb Raider 2

  • Why this will suck... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by wumarkus420 ( 548138 ) <wumarkus@h o t mail.com> on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @10:44AM (#8792008) Homepage
    Other than the fact that John Woo movies suck.

    As mentioned earlier, they will try to get some sexy chick to play Samus, when the REAL reason the first metroid game for Nintendo was so BADASS was because you didn't find out she was a girl until the end. I think they should do the same thing here, but unfortunately, I expect some boring actress that has never seen a Nintendo to be yelling out stupid catch phrases during multiple explosions resulting in another bullshit Woo movie that *could* have been cool. He's like the shitty pop-star director equivalent of a Britney Spears when it comes to quality.
    • the REAL reason the first metroid game for Nintendo was so BADASS was because you didn't find out she was a girl until the end.

      Either that, or your friend Justin Bailey spoiled the ending for you.

  • Hrm... (Score:3, Insightful)

    by l33t-gu3lph1t3 ( 567059 ) <arch_angel16.hotmail@com> on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @10:46AM (#8792023) Homepage
    Since this movie focuses on Samus' *origins* a little sexiness might be possible: they might show Samus before she gets the metal bikini/codpiece.
  • So, we all want to know who's gonna play the lead. I hope it's not Angelina Jolie -- of course, she's great, but I'd hate to see her become the "lead girl in video game movie" actress. I would like to see someone really unexpected play the part, like a female WWE wrestler.

  • lara croft (Score:2, Funny)

    by yamcha666 ( 519244 )
    Take that Lara Croft! You and your tombs!
  • pity he hasn't made a good film since Face/Off...

  • I keep feeling that this is missing the point (Score:5, Insightful)

    by metroid composite ( 710698 ) on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @10:47AM (#8792038) Homepage Journal
    The movie will center on the origins of the game's female protagonist, sexy bounty hunter Samus Aran

    You know, I had a fair bit of respect for Samus when I was young. She managed to be a female character without being a slut to the viewers (a la Lara Croft) or being some kind of animal/blob thingey (a la Ms. Pac Man, Dixie Kong). I mean sure, a few people played just to see the best ending at under 3 hours, but realistically she wasn't sold on her sex appeal (heck, you wouldn't *believe* how many people I've met who think Samus is male).

    Sure, there's Kings Quest 4 and a few RPGs pulled off decent female characters at the time, but nothing nearly as mainstream. Am I the only one who's worried that Hollywood will ruin the feel of Samus by putting too much emphasis the "sexy" aspect?

    • Mod parent up (Score:5, Insightful)

      by 0x0d0a ( 568518 ) on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @10:58AM (#8792166) Journal
      You know, I had a fair bit of respect for Samus when I was young. She managed to be a female character without being a slut to the viewers (a la Lara Croft) or being some kind of animal/blob thingey (a la Ms. Pac Man, Dixie Kong). I mean sure, a few people played just to see the best ending at under 3 hours, but realistically she wasn't sold on her sex appeal (heck, you wouldn't *believe* how many people I've met who think Samus is male).

      I agree wholeheartedly with the sentiment (see my recent post [slashdot.org].

      I don't really have a problem with the "exploitation" or "sexual objectification" of women in the media. Hey, if it sells, go for it. Pornographic stuff, hey, even child porn or beastiality, I don't have a particular ethical problem with some publisher running out and doing what they want, because I still get to choose what I look at.

      What *does* bother me is when *all* the female characters wind up as sexpots, so that I *don't* have an opportunity to watch a movie with a female character that isn't a carefully made up face on top of two giant and frequently exposed breasts. I *liked* Ripley in Aliens 1 through 3. Not a particularly sexual character, very cool, well-played. Sure enough, come Aliens: Resurrection, they've got her stripped down and squirming around in plastic wrap. I liked Metroid -- yes, there's the swimsuit shot at the end (and it *says* something that even my good examples have such major exceptions), but ultimately, there's not a lot of sexualizing Samus through the game. Sure enough, now we get "Samus the sexy bounty hunter". God *damn* it, I like my sexy characters, but there's a time and a place for it, and I'll go watch porn if I want to watch porn -- I don't like seeing all my favorite characters turned into nothing but sexpots.

      And the few times there *isn't* a sexpot female lead, a good, strong character, she's frequently used as a plot device to show how sensitive the male co-lead is ("She wanted to be strong and not need help from anyone, but she learned that she needs to rely on the male lead by the end, who naturally doesn't need to rely on her to anywhere near the same degree.")

      This is not for reasons of political correctness, censorship, or even "taste". I just plain find it appealing to have non-sexplot strong female characters, and I'm damned tired of the few characters that *aren't* being given over to some director/game designer who firmly sits in the traditional camp and converts them into one.
    • "(heck, you wouldn't *believe* how many people I've met who think Samus is male)."

      That's because she's inside of powered armor. If the character wasn't encased in a suit that makes it well-nigh impossible to tell that she's a woman they'd have been forced to portray her...and I bet she'd have come out looking more Lara Craft-y, or been turned into a man.

  • Bonus features planned for video release? (Score:5, Funny)

    by mopslik ( 688435 ) on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @10:50AM (#8792072)
    If I fast-forward the movie, watching it in less than 2 hours, will I get to see Samus in a skimpy bikini?
  • I would like to make some witty comment relating the movie to some well known aspect of the Metroid games, but in thinking about it, other than the image of Samus, the most recognisable part of the games are the musical themes; the music when the game starts, the music when you pick up a missle upgrade, brinstar theme, etc. I hope they work those themes into the soundtrack of the movie.

    If this movie goes well, could a Halo movie be far behind? Halo has a pretty well defined story outside of the game (t

  • If I remember my Nintendo Power correctly. (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Keldian ( 725421 ) on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @10:50AM (#8792078)
    This said it was about the origin of Samus. I would assume this would include her upbringing by the aliens that made the suit for her, so there will be no hiding that she is a she. I imagine the first half of the movie will be her growing up, and the second half will be her kicking butt in the suit. It will really just be your standard super hero movie, excpet set in space.
  • If the movie doesn't start off by stating in large white text and a weak computer generated voice stating, "The last Metroid is in captivity. The galaxy is at peace.", I will be walking out. Super Metroid is the best game in the series. Period.

  • Obligatory (Score:2, Funny)

    by KevinKnSC ( 744603 )
    "No funny stuff! And by funny stuff I mean holding hands, googoo eyes, misdirected woo- which is pretty much any John Woo film."

    - Homer Simpson
  • they do something retarded like make Samus a guy. Nothing better than crippling a great franchise with stupid omissions/retractions/"fixes."
  • How the heck are we supposed to put in the Justin Bailey code to see Samus half way naked in the movie....

    I don't know about you, but I like intergalactic bounty hunter boobies with my action...

  • Soundtrack Ideas (Score:3, Interesting)

    by cyranoVR ( 518628 ) * <cyranoVR&gmail,com> on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @10:57AM (#8792146) Homepage Journal
    Maybe this will be big break for The Minibosses [minibosses.com]?

  • Metroid Movie, starring (Score:3, Funny)

    by lavalyn ( 649886 ) on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @10:58AM (#8792157) Homepage Journal
    - Angeline Jolie as Samus Aran
    - Natalie Portman as the Mother Brain (now also in glass jar!)
    - twenty-thousand computers in a Linux renderfarm for everything else
  • Interesting idea, folks.

    However, to keep the Samus-is-female mystique means a director will have to have a plot and dialogue that supports a person you cannot see. Not impossible, but does threaten to be a complete bore.

    This also means that whoever you cast has to be able to ACT, since looking good comes only later in such a movie, if they follow the game mythos.

    Remember that Jessica Albo, Ms. Jolie, and others are just actresses, guys. Some do their own stunts, but the idea of a twisting and turning ac
  • As a long time fan of Woo, I can say: "expect the worst."

    I was never into Metroid, but take a walk with me down woo lane (post HK era):

    Hard Target (1993) - Okay, not too bad.
    Broken Arrow (1996) - Upon a second viewing pretty bad. At the time, cool.
    Once a Thief (1996) (TV) - A really bad TV version of my favorite Woo film, Once a Thief (but only the Chinese version)
    Face/Off (1997) - I still like this movie. Entertaining at the very least.
    Blackjack (1998) (TV) - Wow. Bad. Not much more to say.
    Missio

  • Jennifer Garner.

    And none of that she-ain't-blonde nonsense from you purists out there. Her hair color changes every other week on Alias. She's proven that can be sexy and tough simultaneously. Find me someone better.

  • A classic. I loved this game!

    Does anybody have a link to screenshots of the various original endings (from the original NES version)? I'd love to be able to see them again!

  • Back to Basics (Score:5, Funny)

    by handy_vandal ( 606174 ) on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @11:11AM (#8792304) Homepage Journal

    Let's get back to basics.

    Pong: the Movie.

    -kgj
  • SO, for the DVD will there be a JUSTIN BAILEY hack?

    That would be cool--if the movie doesn't just suck!

    I love metroid, but it would be SO easy to screw this one up in a major way.

    Maybe the DVD will come with a remake of the original game that you can play with your remote. That would be amusing....

  • Comment removed (Score:3, Insightful)

    by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @11:26AM (#8792507)
    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  • I can hear the stage manager now . . . (Score:3, Funny)

    by Discoflamingo13 ( 90009 ) on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @12:33PM (#8793341) Homepage Journal

    Stage Manager: But Mr. Woo! There aren't any doves on Zebes!
    John Woo: They're compulsory, damnit! How else will people know I directed the movie?

  • Video game movies... (Score:3, Insightful)

    by phorm ( 591458 ) on Wednesday April 07, 2004 @01:03PM (#8793715) Journal
    Well, we've got a line-up in the past of video-game-based movies that generally suck, though some aren't too bad. The trend seems to be picking up though, and like the Marvel movies, we might see a few "X-men" type movies to match the disaster that was "the Hulk."

    So far, we've got a future line-up of: Metroid
    Final Fantasy: Advent Children

    FFAC (basically a sequel to FF7) looks like it could actually be very cool, sticking much more to the original theme as opposed to CGI-in-space like FFSW was.

    Metroid, in-theme also sounds cool... though it could definately go the way of "stuff blowing up in space, lasers, and boobs."

    Can anyone mention any video-game-based movies that were worthwhile? How about games that might make promising movies... so far I can think of a few:
    -Zelda
    -Pretty much any of the Final Fantasys except X2
    -Starcraft/Warcraft
    -Space Quest? Most games of this genre, particularly the longer-lasting ones, could make a decent miniseries.
    -Diablo: Demons, knights, and undead - oh my! heck why not?
    -Wing Commander: Some of these were more-or-less movies anyhow. Could make for a decent SCI-FI miniseries

    A lot of the "classic" games I played actually developed somewhat interesting stories. Metroid was actually one that - while more action-focuses - had a decent plotline. There is no reason why these couldn't have the potential to be good movies... except that studios already bastardize books/etc enough and video games tend to take a bad beating as far as plot/action.

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