Virtual Girlfriend 649
Sven-Erik writes " BBC News reports about a Hong Kong based company called Artificial Life that has developed a solution for men without a partner, in the form of a virtual girlfriend that appear as an animated figure on the video screen of a mobile phone. But there is a downside to the virtual girlfriend - she will require more flowers and gifts than many real women. All virtual girls will look the same - but each girl will behave differently - depending on how much money is spent on her. In return, she will introduce them to different aspects of her life, like letting them meet her female friends - also electronic images. Artificial Life is hoping to launch the new game later this year, on the latest 3-G mobile phones.
Virtual girlfriend? (Score:5, Funny)
No Thanks! (Score:5, Funny)
Just don't tell my wife
I seem to remember... (Score:5, Funny)
*sigh* nothing quite like the exploitation of desperate single guys...fortunately I'm married and am above such exploitation...now off to Proflowers.com to get her a few
You've got to be kidding me?! (Score:5, Funny)
Holy Cow! (Score:5, Funny)
Does she put out? (Score:3, Funny)
Virtual girlfriend? (Score:1, Funny)
I thought tamagotchi's died years ago, well at least mine did.
This just isn't fair... (Score:5, Funny)
"tsk, tsk...they never had a chance..."
Duh (Score:5, Funny)
Duh
Is that possible? (Score:5, Funny)
Is that even possible?
Comment removed (Score:4, Funny)
One of the saddest things I'v ever read. (Score:5, Funny)
Thanks to that sentence and the topic of virtual girlfriends in general, I almost want to sit down and cry.
at least... (Score:1, Funny)
Threesome? (Score:4, Funny)
New Phone sex-cessories (Score:2, Funny)
gShares.net [gshares.net]
This just in (Score:2, Funny)
I got dumped by my virtual girlfriend (Score:3, Funny)
Re:You've got to be kidding me?! (Score:5, Funny)
Art imitating life?
wrong idea (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I seem to remember... (Score:5, Funny)
I think the developer was De Beers, the gifts were 3-20k. If memory serves, the game was called Failed Relationship.
Re:You've got to be kidding me?! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:is it just me... (Score:5, Funny)
I fear for the future of the Japanese (Score:5, Funny)
So, the men have virtual girlfriends on their phones, the women have arm pillows instead of boyfriends. Is it any wonder the birthrate in Japan is so low?
Re:You've got to be kidding me?! (Score:5, Funny)
Perhaps it's targetted at Young Republicans and the Abstainers etc.?
And her name is... (Score:2, Funny)
Is Taco scanning comments from earlier in the day to find his new stories?
Cue "Welcome to SlashDot!" jokes.
Shall we say .. (Score:1, Funny)
Re:No Thanks! (Score:2, Funny)
You want to spend money on them. Just how much do you make? I'd like to go to a bar, steel their purse, and then pay for everything.
Re:You've got to be kidding me?! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:is it just me... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Virtual Boyfriend? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:is it just me... (Score:5, Funny)
And to think I got married...
You have no idea how realistic it is. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:One of the saddest things I'v ever read. (Score:2, Funny)
aww...there, there...
*puts Boyfriend Arm Pillow around The Angry Mick*
Re:Holy Cow! (Score:2, Funny)
had to do it (Score:5, Funny)
Slashdot is my virtual girlfriend, you Insensitive Clod!
Seriously though, when I had a girlfriend, the most annoying thing about her was that she was always on my mobile phone!
Re:Does she put out? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:You've got to be kidding me?! (Score:2, Funny)
Virtual GF: "Please deposit 25 cents."
Re:One of the saddest things I'v ever read. (Score:2, Funny)
If the women with the Boyfriend Pillow and the guys with the virtual girlfriend ever get together this company will go out of business.
Not in the US you won't (Score:1, Funny)
Re:is it just me... (Score:5, Funny)
I could just imagine the lens of your camera phone being like HAL, staring at you, tracking you. When it discovers you plan on taking out the cellphone battery to stop it, it calls the mental institution to whisk you away.
Hell hath no fury like a cell phone scorned
Matchmaker Dating Services (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Does she put out? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Ignore Mode? (Score:1, Funny)
Re:is it just me... (Score:5, Funny)
What traumatic child-hood experience causes you to lump "panty sniffer" in with those other extremes?
Panty sniffing is not a problem (obviously between consenting adults)
Re:Oh yeah... (Score:5, Funny)
Oh, come now! I'm sure you've turned off plenty of women.
Skills you learn could save your real relationship (Score:3, Funny)
I'll give you a real-life example.. The other week I forgot our anniversary. This is one of the dumbest mistakes that you can make as a man and regardless of the experience you may have it may happen to you. I came home, and T. didn't even want to speak to me. She just looked away. Thank God, I remembered just in time and bought $200(!) worth of red roses. At first she told me to shove those roses up my ass but I kept producing them one after another telling her how sorry I was and how much I love her (I do, you know) and after a bunch of roses she fell around my neck and told me straight to my face what a miserable bastard I am and how much she loves me. (NEVER EVER underestimate the power of red roses!).
Re:is it just me... (Score:3, Funny)
Well, if both of you have been partying properly, you'll BOTH wake up looking like Keith Richards, in which case if it lasts longer than that one night it MUST be love...hahaha
Re:Virtual girlfriend? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:You've got to be kidding me?! (Score:1, Funny)
Re:is it just me... (Score:5, Funny)
But I guess if some people haven't had to deal with (in)significant-other hell, then maybe this is just what the doctor ordered. Then they can "dump" their virtual girlfriend and save a fat sack of cash. Might I suggest a nice new monitor and a DSL connection?
Re:You don't spend money.. (Score:5, Funny)
Hey, any socially-inept twit can do the mental convolutions to make himself think he's actually a stud, but your dick - well, no matter what you do with the ruler, if your 'raging manhood' is only four inches long then you've got very little to rage away with. And there fastseduction.com isn't going to be any help at all, especially when your date starts to snigger over the abnormally small size of your equipment.
The last thing any guy wants to hear is "is it in yet?"
Max
Re:No Thanks! (Score:5, Funny)
well that is iron-ic
It's *so* obvious where this is wil go... (Score:5, Funny)
Last a friend of mine upgraded from Girlfriend 4.0 to Wife 1.0 and found
that it's memory hog leaving few system resources for other applications.
He is now noticing the Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child-processes, which is
further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular
phenomenon was included in the product documentation, though other users
have informed me that this is to be expected due to the nature of the
application.
Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself so that it is always launched at
system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. Some
applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BachelorParty 2.5 and PubNight 7.0
are no longer able to run on the system at all, causing the system to
lockup when launched (even though the apps worked fine before).
Wife 1.0 provides no installation options. Thus, the installation of
undesired plug-ins such as Mother-in-law 55.8 and the Brother-in-law Beta
is unavoidable. Also system performance seems to diminish each passing day.
Some features my friend would like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0:
A "don't remind me again button"
A Minimize button
The ability to delete the "headache" file
An install feature that provides an option to uninstall 2.0 version
without loss of other system resources
An option to run the network driver in "promiscuous mode" allowing the
systems hardware probe to be much more useful/effective.
I myself wish I had decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with
Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 3.0. Even here, however, I have found
many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 4.0. You must
uninstall Girlfriend 3.0 first, otherwise the two versions of Girlfriend
will have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port.
Other users have told me that this is a long-standing problem that I
should have been aware of. Guess that explains what happened to versions 1
& 2.
To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 3.0 doesn't
work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the
system. Another identified problem is that all versions of Girlfriend have
annoying little messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.
VIRUS ALERT
All users should be aware that Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you
try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will
delete MS Money files before doing the uninstall itself. Once that
happens, Mistress 1.1. won't install and you will get an "insufficient
resources" error message. To avoid the aforementioned bug, try installing
Mistress 1.1 on a different system and 'never'
run any file transfer applications (such as Laplink) between the two
systems.
Awe crap (Score:3, Funny)
How much you want to bet, she'll either blow a capacitor or overheat after 10 minutes with me.
Then she's gunna dump me.
And cheat on me with my Mac.
Re:What about a hummer? (Score:3, Funny)
She ran awa;y (Score:3, Funny)
Re:is it just me... (Score:5, Funny)
And to think I got married...
Oh, so you're already there
Old concept... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:I seem to remember... (Score:2, Funny)
Combine that with ... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:No jokes... (Score:1, Funny)
HK Virtual Girl Friend is found superior to real (Score:4, Funny)
Bill Jones broke up with his real Girlfriend Cathy Smith today because in his words, "At least the Virtual Girlfriend puts out." When questioned about the break-up Cathy was perturbed, "Like I wanted to put out for that Lo-oo-zer! He was like always giving me these virtual things... never anything real... I mean... I'm like flesh and blood here I want real stuff. My other boyfriends bring me actual gifts."
It is this reporter's opinion that Bill is indeed better off with his HK Virtual Girlfriend because his real one was a total brat.
Not as good as mine (Score:3, Funny)
Re:It's *so* obvious where this is wil go... (Score:5, Funny)
she may be virtual... (Score:3, Funny)
What are those? "A" cups?
Re:One of the saddest things I'v ever read. (Score:5, Funny)
What the hell does "hog the doona" mean?
Thank you...
P.S. Your unending creativity with the English language is rivaled only by the way Loudy Tourkey wiggles her wet butt when she dries off after a dive.
elusive 2nd step! (Score:1, Funny)
Am I the only one who wish he'd thought of this? People (geeks) spend money on something that isn't real. This may be the elusive 2nd step!
1) Put virtual girl in cell phone
2) Tell geeks it's happier when you spend money on it
3) PROFIT!
even more reason to avoid the cell phone (Score:1, Funny)
No, it's true. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:What about a hummer? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:No Thanks! (Score:2, Funny)
Screw that. I tried it until I was 28 or 29 years old and finally gave up on it. My personality just does not jive with chicks. I don't get along with girls. I am not gay nor am I a misogynist but for whatever reasons girls tend to not like me. It is probably because I am ugly, uncharismatic and pretty fscking stupid for a guy with a degree in CS.
Meet a real human being, find out what she likes, turn her off
Thats usuallly about as far as it gets for me! I am not bitter about it though. I run dsniff on my workplace network and pick up peoples passwords to all the pay porn sites and that is almost as cool as having a girlfriend. And with all the CC numbers I keep collecting eventually I'll probably just give in to the temptation and use one of them to buy a Real Doll. Given the choice between a Playstation2 with a full library of games and a Realdoll or a GF I think that I'd take the PS2, games and Realdoll over a flesh and blood GF anyday.
And guess what? There are more people out there like me than you can imagine. I am the future. Society is wrecked. Civilization is over. ROFLMAO!!!1! Give m3 ops!! LOL!! F0AD!!1
Re:is it just me... (Score:3, Funny)
Panty sniffing is not a problem
Spoken like a true panty sniffer...
Re:is it just me... (Score:2, Funny)
Then yer not doing it right!
Re:Matchmaker Dating Services (Score:5, Funny)
Who's the 1% you've included that can't even get the virtual girl?
Re:I fear for the future of the Japanese (Score:3, Funny)
It's only low because I haven't visited there yet.
Re:Matchmaker Dating Services (Score:2, Funny)
Re:is it just me... (Score:3, Funny)
No big deal, that's a solved problem--just go into a soundproof room when you discuss your plans to get rid of her. The first version can't read lips, remember?
Re:You've got to be kidding me?! (Score:4, Funny)
I heard she's into anal sex.
Turn on the phone's vibrator and put it in to see yourself!
Re:Virtual girlfriend? (Score:5, Funny)
oh...wahhoo.... (Score:2, Funny)
Now, instead of just ringing at the most inappropriate moments (e.g. theater) and with the most obnoxious rings (e.g. pretty much all of them), we now get the pleasure of hearing their phone bitch and whine.
Yay us.
Re:It's *so* obvious where this is wil go... (Score:1, Funny)
Behaves differently based on... (Score:1, Funny)
I hope there's an option in there called "GFJ" (Get a Fucking Job). Otherwise I expect her to be naked 24/7.
Re:You don't spend money.. (Score:2, Funny)
To which the proper response is:
"I don't know. I can't feel the sides..."
This is a sad sad day for man (Score:2, Funny)
Credibility (Score:2, Funny)
Re:No Thanks! (Score:4, Funny)
Christ; you're probably not serious, but if you are: Try a human being before you start jerking off into a plastic doll. For what one of those mannequins cost you could get dozens of blowjobs from real hookers. Go to Mexico. Or go to Thailand. The girls there are very good at making losers with money feel like Don Juans.