30 Years Of Dungeons And Dragons

vasqzr writes "CNN has a story about Dungeons and Dragons celebrating its 30th birthday. 'An estimated 25,000 fans in 1,200 stores celebrated the anniversary Saturday, said Charles Ryan, brand manager for role-playing games at Wizards of the Coast, a Renton, Washington, company that owns Dungeons & Dragons.'"

Although correlation != causation

[Anonymous Coward]

Countries with D&D have seen their birthrates decrease for the past 30 years.

30 years!

[geeveees]

THIRTY years of Dungeons&Dragons!

It's a ...

/me rolls 1d6

...HAPPY birthday!

30 Years?

[Pan T. Hose]

Wow. I am very -- *rolls dice* -- surprised that it's already so long.

Thanks...

[MrFluffyPants26]

..for telling me a day late.

Thanks...

[while(true)]

...for making me feel old, you insensitive clod!

Just kidding, happy big 30 D&D! :)

Obligatory

[quintesson]

... and it still hasn't moved out of it's parents' basement!

I wonder if the D20 system will last that long.

Gaah!

[Trikenstein]

I blew my saving throw and had to rta!

Where're the Cheetos???

[zrk]

Can I have some Mountain Dew?

World Record?

[BurritoWarrior]

Will they get into the Guinness Book for all-time largest gathering of virgins?

That first session, so long ago...

[Etherwalk]

In the beginning there was the fighter, and he was without wisdom and void of intellect. So he was named sponge. And there was evening and there was morning, the first character.

Re:Although correlation != causation

[daniil]

Ahh, it saddens me to think of all the heroes that have fallen in countless D&D combats. The best warriors are routinely slaughtered, but for what purpose? What are they fihting and dying for? Gold? But what good has all this gold brought them? Had they stayed at home, they would have become good farmers or blacksmiths (or, who knows, perhaps even philosophers, searching for a better tomorrow), good husbands to their wives, good fathers to their sons and daughters. But alas, they are all gone. They have all died in this pointless war.

*wipes a tear from his face, grabs his bag'o'dice and notebook, and marches off into a distant realm*

Re:30 years!

[munehiro]

1d20. Or is your happy birthday like a short sword hit ? :P

Wow..

[NightWulf]

"An estimated 25,000 fans in 1,200 stores celebrated the anniversary Saturday". Wow, A vacuum of virginity only rivaled by that of a Star Trek convention. I kid! I kid!

24,999 guys with chainmail bikini posters.

[leftie]

1 chubby girl that shouldn't have worn a chainmail bikini.

Re:Where're the Cheetos???

[Gabrill]

Yes! You can have a Mt. Dew! Just go get it!

And yet...

[Valiss]

.... 90% of the responses from players in game is still "I roll to attack."

I love hack n slash.

Re:That first session, so long ago...

[Sponge Bath]

So he was named sponge.

Whaaa? I always played a bard.

<musical spock>
Ahhhhhh... bitter dregs.
</musical spock>

Re:Where're the Cheetos???

[Psionicist]

I attack the darkness!

ain't easy being a peasant

[eean]

But you know what happens to townspeople and peasants - sacrifaced to their Dragon master, killed off by a strange plague or senselessly killed by wandering adventurers.

Re:Where're the Cheetos???

[Anonymous Coward]

I cast.. magic missiles!

Re:Yeah - definately !

[ahknight]

Bluff check, DC 15.

DND Humor

[Anonymous Coward]

ED: You see a well-groomed garden. In the middle, on a small hill, you see a gazebo.
ERIC: A gazebo? What color is it?
ED: (Pause) It's white, Eric.
ERIC: How far away is it?
ED: About 50 yards.
ERIC: How big is it?
ED: (Pause) It's about 30 feet across, 15 feet high, with a pointed top.
ERIC: I use my sword to detect whether it's good.
ED: It's not good, Eric. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Pause) I call out to it.
ED: It won't answer. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Pause) I sheathe my sword and draw my bow and arrows. Does it respond in any way?
ED: No, Eric. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: I shoot it with my bow (rolls to hit). What happened?
ED: There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.
ERIC: (Pause) Wasn't it wounded?
ED: Of course not, Eric! It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Whimper) But that was a plus-three arrow!
ED: It's a gazebo, Eric, a gazebo! If you really want to try to destroy it, you could try to chop it with an axe, I suppose, or you could try to burn it, but I don't know why anybody would even try. It's a @#%$*& gazebo!
ERIC: (Long pause - he has no axe or fire spells) I run away.
ED: (Thoroughly frustrated) It's too late. You've awakened the gazebo, and it catches you and eats you.
ERIC: (Reaching for his dice) Maybe I'll roll up a fire-using mage so I can avenge my paladin...

I haven't played AD&D in a long time

[discord5]

Our AD&D sessions were always fun, back when we had too much time and no girlfriends.

DM: "You see a hallway with three barrels"

Player #1: "I walk to the barrels and pry one open"
Player #2: "No wait, you idiot"
DM: "A witch comes out of the barrel and rolls dice is preparing to cast a spell"
Player #1: "I cast burning hands and grab her tits"
DM: sighs "The hideous hag slaps you and continues her casting"
Player #2: "I apologize for my companions behavior and hit her with my longsword"

Somewhere along the line we grew up and got a life, although we all fondly remember being half drunk and playing AD&D.

It's almost as if ...

[ReagansUndeadBrain]

... some unseen force is controlling all actions in the world, determining fate by the roll of a die - an all-knowing, all-powerful being who enjoys pizza and pepsi ...

Re:Wow..

[ckaminski]

Great comment on WAAF in Boston Friday:

D&D is 30 today, only 2 years younger than the virgins who play it.

Ahother version for the Dead Alewives parody

[lesterchakyn]

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/90046

Wives?

[Himring]

An estimated 25,000 fans in 1,200 stores celebrated the anniversary Saturday

And only 2 women were pissed at their husbands cuz of the event....

Re:Although correlation != causation

[WarPresident]

Ahh, it saddens me to think of all the heroes that have fallen in countless D&D combats. The best warriors are routinely slaughtered, but for what purpose? What are they fihting and dying for?

Usually for pissing off the DM... Took the last powdered donut without asking? Your character's last words might be:

"What do you mean the feather fall wears off?"
"C'mon guys, it's just a pile of dragon bones... guys?"
"What's a tarrasque?"
"HOW many Kobolds?"

Re:Nice, Sort Of

[meringuoid]

you need rules to keep everyone from arguing with each other when you do need to figure out what happens to the kobold when it gets hit with the +5 axe of vorpal soothing.

His arm comes off, but he's OK about it.

celibate D&D geeks

[ReagansUndeadBrain]

Once you've had wickedly nubile Finnish goddess of pain Loviatar (1st Edition Deities & Demigods p. 55), who can be ever be satisfied by mere mortal women again?

d4, the dreaded caltrop

[Anonymous Luddite]

oh the pain...

I can remember getting up from the gaming table and finding that missing d4 with my bare left foot.

Those damn dice were small enough to hide in a shag rug and hurt like a bastard when stepped on, (especially the early ones, cuz the corners weren't blunted)

i still prefer Basic edition the best :-)

[Anonymous Coward]

i'm too dumb for 1e/2e/3e. or maybe i just don't like lotsa rules. ;-)
ps. Erol Otus is da man!

Obligatory Chick

[Anonymous Coward]

here [chick.com]

Re:Although correlation != causation

[tonywong]

I really don't understand... I've been a half-elf ranger/bard for 20+ years now with a charisma of 17 and I still can't get laid.

Cripes, some of these women won't even touch the d20. How do they expect me to approach them then?

Re:Yeah - definately !

[pdangel]

".... reading passages from the PHB to the DM when ...."
I need to get out of my IT career. I read that and was wondering why he was talking about "Pointy Haired Boss" being read to the DM.
??!!??11

30yrs of dangerous sociopaths meeting in bars.

[Chas]

You'd think these countries would have figured this out by now and prohibited access to inns to anyone who can do more than pass really nasty, eye watering fart.

But OH NO!

And look at the damage these violent drunkards have wreaked!

Dragon molestation on the rise.
Millions of trolls put to the torch.
And more orcs, kobolds, and goblins killed (wholesale slaughter) than there are stars in the sky!

Damn you Gary Gygax!
Damn you Dave Arneson!

Scoliotesticularcancerous The Red
The Inferno
Scourge of Twelve Nations
Spokesdragon for Monsters Against Dangerous Hominid Infestations

Re:Although correlation != causation

[Drawkcab]

"Had they stayed at home, they would have become good farmers or blacksmiths (or, who knows, perhaps even philosophers, searching for a better tomorrow), good husbands to their wives, good fathers to their sons and daughters."

Nope, you can't be good at any of that without skill points from killing kobolds and giant bats. Of course I suppose a clever enough farmer might get the experience to be a great philosopher if they manage to find and exterminate an ant colony in their field.

It all depends on what you count as "any"

[Anonymous Coward]

The D&D world is now flooded with fat chicks. If you don't mind being enfolded in someone you can't lift, getting laid is a piece of cake.

Literally. Bait them with cake.

Re:ain't easy being a peasant

[astro-g]

player 1: Arent we evil this campaign
All together: CLOUDKILL!
DM: @#$#@$ npc's, !@#$@#$ (tears up notes)

Re:Changing Demographics?

[hai.uchida]

It's apparently HUGE in the USN, particularly on submarines. The crewmen are trapped down in little sardine cans for months on end with little to do when not on duty, so a lot play D&D.

Those geeks should get out and get themselves some girlfriends!

Re:Waitaminnit!

[ReagansUndeadBrain]

Be careful, man! Everyone knows you can't utter names of the dark lords without running the risk of summoning them and meeting a untimely Lovecraftian end. Phew, I was sweating for days in a self-constructed tent of bible pages last time I said Orcus ... oh wait ... I've done it again! What was that noise? There - in the shadows - no! Dread darkness! The colors! Ahhhgghhg ...

ErrOr

[geekoid]

"My girlfriend just got me into D & D,,,"
Does not compute. More information needed...

"I would never touch it in high school, as tabletop games were too nerdy for computer gamers to touch"

ErrOr. Does not compute.
System terminated.