Jack Thompson Rescinds Offer

Goalmaster3000 writes to tell us Joystiq.com is reporting that Jack Thompson has rescinded his offer of a $10,000 donation to charity if a video game were made to fit his model. Recently a group of GTA modders cooked up a scenario to fit the bill but apparently Thompson is claiming that his piece 'A Modest Video Game Proposal' was intended as satire that the video game community was not bright enough to grasp. Perhaps Thompson was just afraid he was going to have to sue himself? Update: 10/17 20:02 GMT by SM: It appears that the Penny Arcade crew has taken the next step by donating the promised $10,000... in Jack Thompson's name.

Wait wait wait

[ifwm]

A lawyer lied, and people are surprised?

Negation of a negative

[matr0x_x]

So a satirical response to a satirical comment gives us what...

Ah, the irony!

Idiot

[BartulaPrime]

So, he thinks we weren't bright enough to realize his "satire"? Well, at least we're bright enough to know the difference between video game violence and real-life violence. Otherwise, we'd be bunny-hopping our BMX bikes over his front yard fence and blowing him away with my machine gun.

Backfire

[Anonymous Custard]

Someone should have made a game where you kill the CEO and the family, but they come back as zombies, and then you play as the zombies and go torture and kill the lawyer "Thomp Jackson"

Ah yes.

[Anonymous Coward]

Jack Thompson, increasingly, resembles nothing more so than one of the least competent of slashdot's trolls.

MAN 1: I am going to kill you and rape your family!
MAN 2: ...
MAN 1: What, don't you know satire when you hear it? You have no sense of humor at all. Idiot.

Typo

[RancidMilk]

"Jack Thompson Rescinds Offer" Should be: "Jack Thompson steals $10k from Charity"

Off course it was satire

[Scrameustache]

A lawyer offering to give money to charity? Who could fall for that?! ;- )

Re:Idiot

[ari_j]

Otherwise, we'd be ... blowing him away with my machine gun.

Dude! You have a machine gun and you're going to let us all shoot it? Awesome! Thanks, dude!

Re:I can believe it.

[Ykant]

The problem is that he isn't Swift...

Curiously, this sentence is just as accurate with improper punctuation...

Re:Depends on Performance

[ScrewMaster]

"estop the contract"

In my line of work, an "e-stop" (Emergency Stop) usually means that a potentially dangerous machine just got shut down in a hurry to prevent damage. This frequently involves a bright red, mushroom shaped button, prominently placed on a console or control panel. It is really too bad that we can't E-Stop the average malfunctioning attorney the same way:

Citizen 1: "Whoa, Bob! That Jack dude is running wild again!"

Citizen 2: "Quick, hit the estop!"

Re:Debate insults indicate a loss.

[Anonymous Coward]

Was that the most traumatic experience of your life? Because I've seen you link to that like 4 times now and it just makes you look like an ass.

Re:Ugh

[balon]

A lawyer who proposes to give away $10,000 without caveats and addendums, clauses and subclauses? No contract whatsoever, just a plain and simple offering? And he means it literally?

Yeah, and pigs can fly. Keyword here: LAWYER. Nuther keywords: NO CONTRACT. Um, satire. Yeah, it may be satire that no GTA-loving audience would get, or it may be that all of the responses were similarly satire, but you just have to figure a lawyer without a contract has to be joking.

---Bruce

Re:Typo

[bprime]

RIAA? Is that you?

Your username is a hint I guess.

Re:Wait wait wait

[dgatwood]

Seen on tombstone:

Here likes Jack Sawyers, a lawyer and an honest man.

Comment by a passerby:

Wow. Three people in the same grave.

Slight correction....penny-arcade.

[katharsis83]

No, I think that's the wrong reference. We'd be riding our bikes around and looking at boobies:

http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php?date=2002-10- 18&res=l [penny-arcade.com]

Re:Ugh

[djdavetrouble]

Hell I'd give $50 to child's play just to see his reaction when they say that.

Yeah, right. If this has taught me anything it is that you will rescind your offer later and say it was satire....
After all, if a lawyer doesn't stand by his word, who will ?!?

Now I finally understand!

[kalirion]

All those bogus charity sites are really just satirical homages to Red Cross!

Re:Jack Thompson Is A World-class Asshole

[geminidomino]

Come on now, be fair to World-Class assholes.

Jack Thompson is a third-rate asshole, at best.

Re:This man is a moron

[NecroPuppy]

Pinky: What are we going to do tonight, Brain?

Brain: Defend ourselves against Jack Thompson, and then try to take over the world.

Pinky: Do we have enough time for both?

Brain: Pinky, even you, with your severe mental and social limitations, could defeat Thompson in less than an hour. Together, especially if you keep quiet, it will be five minutes, tops. Then we will take over the world, via my latest mod for GTA.

Re:DON'T CONTACT HIM!

[st0rmshad0w]

Furthermore, given the examples we've seem so far, he seems to get pretty worked up whenever he's brought to task. I can almost see the vein in his head twitching. No telling when something is going to burst. I would suggest that he be left alone simply to avoid the first /.ing of a human.

Cease And Desist!

[No Such Agency]

Mr. "dgatwood",

Your reference to my tombstone is a clear, and actionable threat of death. Please remove it from the website "www.slashpoint.com" at once or I will pursue legal action and criminal charges against you, the owners of the website, and John Carmack.

Jack Thompson

cc
New York State Attorney's Office
Federal Bureau of Investigation
Interpol
God