Nintendo & McDonalds Providing WiFi

redemtionboy writes "According to IGN, "Nintendo of America on Tuesday will announce a groundbreaking partnership with Wi-Fi provider Wayport to make available free Internet access to DS owners at McDonald's restaurants across the nation." " There are so many potential jokes here that I'm gonna just leave it to you guys to make your own.

Jokes?

[dsginter]

Would you like a portscan with that?

WiFi from McDonald's?

[Anonymous Coward]

It'll be the healthiest thing on their menu :)

Typical order

[Bananatree3]

[customer] I will have a number 1 combo with a Coke, please

[17-year old cashier] Would you like to supersize your Wi-Fi Connection for only 2.99$?

Obesity

[LaughingCoder]

This could bring the obesity problem to a whole new level. Congratulations - you've reached level 4! You can go up to the counter and pick up your FREE icecream sundae! Level 5 wins a free value meal. Level 6 is a large softdrink.

War-porking anyone?

[Chilliwilli]

nt

Re:If...

[KZigurs]

probably they wont. Just filter out by MAC adress - that's the best they can do, I guess :)

Re:802.11x compatible?

[BlueOtto]

Shhh! Don't say anything! They might not notice...!


:)

Re:Jokes?

[salparadyse]

Would you like wi-fries with that?

Can America get any fatter?

[Anonymous Coward]

This is great! Kids are getting fatter and dumber, and this is the only obvious step forward Nintendo and McFat to join forces. The next handheld is going to have bigger buttons that blink when you should press them so that the morbidly obese kiddies can still make donkey kong jump up and down with the tapered fat fingers. The blinking lights will guide them by appealing to thier rampant ADD.

Re:If...

[BushCheney08]

I believe you meant to say "just filter out by BigMAC address..."

The biggest joke

[Colin Smith]

Using the words McDonalds and restaurant in reference to one another.

a truly sad day

[jkind]

Before: Take children to Mcdonalds and put them in the bouncy ball room for 10 mins, before giving children Big Mac combo.
Now: Take children to Mcdonalds and give them Big Mac combo, then let them surf..
The world is slowly getting so fat it's going to spin out of orbit..

Re:WiFi from McDonald's?

[Chewbacon]

damn, I haven't been to McDonalds in so long, I can't even remember what's on the menu besides the big mac. "I'll have a Big Mac combo. Supersized." "What would you like to drink?" "Diet coke."

Re:Can America get any fatter?

[winsomecowboy]

There could be a pavlovian response. You could sidle up to a fat kid at a bus stop, look him in the eye and say N-i-n-t-e-n-d-o and watch him drool uncontrollably.

Re:Greasy

[stanmann]

I much prefer to wash my hands at the sink, but I guess in MD you do things differently.

Forget about the "potential jokes"

[DingerX]

and think about the practical ones:

A) Hack your Nintendogs to introduce new behavior in online play, viz., your NintendRhodesianRidgeback runs down and eats NintendChihuahuas and McToyPoodles.
Packet Injection attacks to replace Mario with something, uh, a little less "Kid-friendly" (play fair now)

Evil messages: "Billy, this is the happy leprachaun. Put your bigmac in mommy's purse".
The possibilities are endless!

Re:Jokes?

[surefooted1]

Sure, while I'm at it, can I supersize my DS connection to a PSP connection?

Re:Jokes?

[dosle]

I'm sorry sir, was that a Chocolate SSHake?

Re:Obesity

[BushCheney08]

Valkyrie needs food, badly.

It would just be kind of cool

[syntap]

do be sitting in a McDonald's with my Nintendo DS, playing an applet-ed or emulated version of BurgerTime that I downloaded using my McDonald's WIFI connection.

Will they offer both regular and diet WIFI?

Translation

[hackronym0]

here are so many potential jokes here that I'm gonna just leave it to you guys to make your own.

Translation: I am so lame that I can't even come up with a joke, but there has got to be at least one.

The End

[Mr.Dippy]

The Japanese, realizing that they could never beat physically fit Americans in war, have covertly set out for the past 30 years to make Americans fat. The current generation of American children will get to harpoonable size by the end of the decade. This is the final phase of their fiendish plot before they initiate their Pear Harbor Invasion Part Deux plan. I'm estimating sometime in 2011 Hawaii and part of the West Coast will be under the Rising Sun flag. Dead, bloated children and teenagers will litter the ground clutching onto their DS's and Big Macs. This is how liberty dies...with thunderous fatness.

Re:The End

[vorpal22]

This is how liberty dies...with thunderous fatness.

And, if my digestive system is par for the course when faced with a large McDonald's meal, with thunderous flatulence.

Re:Obesity

[oc255]

Sure make fun of me, but I'm a level 4 manager with a nametag that gives me +2 wisdom when I equip it.

Re:This won't last

[oc255]

I'm looking at this deal from Nintendo's point of view. Everyone is always complaining that Nintendo is a cartoonesque kids platform (which I might agree with if I wasn't a fan-boy). If being a kids console is Nintendo's biggest market penetration problem, they need to get away from the Happy Meals to be taken more seriously and reach an older audience.

By taken more seriously, I mean by an older audience and more mature themes (maybe not their intention). Related to this recent /. article [slashdot.org]. Staying in the light-hearted kid's land of casual gore-free gameplay must be their stra-tem-egy.

Or maybe it's not related at all:

1. I can play Super Monkey Ball with my g/f.
2. I cannot play Halo with my g/f.
3. I cannot take my g/f to McD's.

So either way I'm playing Monkey Ball with my g/f and having a real meal. *shrug*

Ok, I'll bite

[callipygian-showsyst]

There are so many potential jokes here that I'm gonna just leave it to you guys to make your own.

Help! My PC is 0wn3d by the Hamburgler!

or

Mayor McCheese just busted me for stealing music!

DDR Competitions

[GungaDan]

I use RDRAM, you insensitive hamburgling clod!

Re:Wow

[madgamer]

I can't comprehend why anyone would want to spend more time than in a McDonald's than is required to purchase some food.

because there are these little organisms called kids, and mcdonald's markets to them quite heavily. in the suburbs, most mcdonalds' have a mini playground called a "playplace", and kids can have a lot of fun in them. in some ways, it's better than a park because the parents can sit back and have a cup of coffee while watching their kids play. i can totally see my older son (9yrs old) playing his ds with another random kid that happens to be there with his ds while my youngest son (4yrs) runs around in the playplace with all the smaller tikes. me? i can enjoy a cup of coffee while i watch the boys play.

of course, some slashdotters may not fully realize the concept of kids, as a prerequisite for having one is sex.

Re:802.11x compatible?

[Bozzio]

Ok. When I occasionally find myself at that McDonald's it's when I'm going to my once-a-month part-time job. I don't always have reliable internet at work, so I usually check my mail/news and download things before I go to work. Since these work shifts are up to 16 hours long, knowing for sure I can get online just before work is very convenient.

Re:802.11x compatible?

[Hogwash McFly]

I've heard they have created a new character to join Ronald McDonald et al. The Packet Pincher, who wears black and white and carries a sack with 'Bandwidth' written on it, is in a homosexual relationship with the Hamburglar and will be used to teach kids the danger of using bandwidth that they are not entitled to. McDonalds executives believe that the Packet Pincher will be a hit at birthday parties, as kids will be encouraged to boo him away when a costumed employee interrupts the party carrying the characters gold-coloured Laptop of Leeching and asks the kids for the latest torrents.