A Look at Gaming in 2010

Joel from Sydney writes "Wired News' Lore Sjöberg has written a tongue-in-cheek look at what the world of gaming will look like in 2010. From the article: 'Nintendo and LucasArts are still locked in competition to bring their aging iconic characters to every genre ever invented. The year 2010 saw the release of Darth Maul's Star Wars Tennis, Mario MMORPG, Clone Trooper Golf, Mario's Dating Sim, Jar-Jar's Dating Sim and Mario Storms the Beach at Normandy. Plus, handheld versions of all those.'"

hmmm

[nomadic]

Wasn't that the Brunching Shuttlecocks guy? Didn't know he went over to Wired...

Re:hmmm

[Golias]

He's been writing stuff, on and off, for Wired for some time now.

He's also still doing his comics at http://www.lorebrandcomics.com/ [lorebrandcomics.com] and the occasional flash cartoon at http://www.bandwidththeater.com/ [bandwidththeater.com] (although it's been several months since he's come up with anything there.)

If you really want to obsess over this obscure web humor icon, he's got a blog of sorts too.
http://slumbering.lungfish.com/ [lungfish.com]

Re:hmmm

[nomadic]

I really enjoyed the brunching shuttlecocks stuff, but wasn't a fan of the cartoons or the flash stuff there. Guess I'm verbal more than visual.

Re:hmmm

[Golias]

Then you probably should check out http://www.bookofratings.com/ [bookofratings.com] for your old-school Brunching fix.

Re:hmmm

[nomadic]

Ahh, cool, thanks for the link. I knew about the book of ratings but I had no idea they actually updated it.

2010 Year of the Apocolypse

[Kesch]

...Jar-Jar's Dating Sim...

I will be having a suicide party Dec 31, 2009. Everyone is welcome.

Re:2010 Year of the Apocolypse

[AuMatar]

Meesa gonna screw you.

Lore Sjöberg?

[hambonewilkins]

(I know it is "off topic")

Wait a minute, so I can blame Wired for hiring Lore and, in effect, ending the glorious beauty that was the Brunching Shuttlecocks?

Damn you, gainful employment!

Re:Lore Sjöberg?

[softspokenrevolution]

Naw, he stopped before he got this gig with Wired. He's been doing stuff at slumbering.lungfish.com, his blog with some Lore Comics and that sort of thing.

Re:Lore Sjöberg?

[Golias]

Popular speculation is that Brunching ended when he could no longer get along with the Self-Made Critic. It appears that his marriage to an avant-garde Japanese performance artist put a strain on their relationship.

Rumors of a reuinion finally ended when a crazed gunman shot and killed the Self-Made Critic outside his apartment. Some like to point out that this is strangely ironic as the final years of Brunching were peppered with constant "Lore is dead" rumors, which started with a mysterious phone call

dnfe

[Anonymous Coward]

*Insert Duke Nukem joke here*

A message for those who dont RTFA:

[Gogo0]

Dont start now.

It was pretty stupid.

Re:A message for those who dont RTFA:

[QuantumG]

Unlike most things posted with "The Foot" I thought this was actually funny.

I second that.

[thepotoo]

'nuff said.

A message for those who didn't read the parent:

[Aranth Brainfire]

Don't, it was pointless and empty of reason.

Re:A message for those who didn't read the parent:

[Joehonkie]

So you need "reason" not to like something now? It was a crappy and humorless article.

Re:A message for those who dont RTFA:

[BenjyD]

Come on, that article was pretty funny.

"I'm still limited to shooting, beating or running over hookers? Kill Death Die Hurt Maim let me chop off their fingers one by one while they begged for mercy, their cheap eyeliner merging with their tears and darkening the pools of blood at their feet. Are you sure Mario isn't in this wimpfest?"

Re:A message for those who dont RTFA:

[slthytove]

I found it to be one of the funniest "foot" articles I've read on Slashdot... wonderful satirical commentary on the current "hot" issues in gaming, and some of the more annoying ones.

My Prediction?

[toddhunter]

No game will be released without 2010 in the title. They will all come from EA and cost more than in previous years to help combat piracy.

Re:My Prediction?

[iainl]

Don't be silly.

In 2010 all games will have 2011 in the title. When was the last time you saw EA release a game in the year stated in the title?

Sounds good

[wills4223]

I would absolutely play Mario Storms the Beach at Normandy. It sounds like a laugh; especially if it includes classic Mario music.

Re:Sounds good

[Dr. Eggman]

I don't know about Normandy, maybe the Italian Campaign...


Take-a that, you yankee scum-a!

Re:Sounds good

[Chris Mattern]

As additional bonus, you get to play both sides, since you switch over to the Allies halfway though...

Chris Mattern

Re:Sounds good

[Guppy06]

A game from a Japanese publisher focusing on an Italian character... I'm not so sure Mario would be playing the Normandy invasion on the winning side.

Re:Sounds good

[elrous0]

Mario Storms the Beach at Normandy. It sounds like a laugh

It'll be pretty funny until the Germans realize that he isn't armed.

-Eric

Darth Maul tennis

[Repton]

Darth Maul tennis would be pretty cool. You could have a double-ended raquet, three balls in progress at once, force-pull for the ball, Jedi mind trick on the umpire...

Games in 2010

[cgenman]

With the way things are currently going, by 2010 all games will ship in miniature crates [oldmanmurray.com].

2010

[owlman17]

2010 isn't too far away, just like 2002 wasn't that too long ago, and things really haven't changed much. I RTFA, but I doubt if things would be really that different. More mods for 2005-2006 releases, more sequels. The source-code for Quake IV would have been released. And ground-breaking title or two will have come out. I do hope Starcraft II comes out though.

And by 2010, Duke Nukem forever will be coming out of Alpha.

Close but no cigar...

[voxel]

The only thing you got WAY wrong is Duke Nukem Forever won't be comming out of Alpha, it will of just announced another 3D engine switch and that they are starting over again.

WTF Do you think it's called Duke Nukem FOREVER?

Re:Huh?

[StocDred]

It's supposed to be, yes.

Mario MMORPG?

[Megane]

But still no sign of a Zelda MMORPG anywhere.

And how about "Grand Theft Auto: Mullah City", where you get to jack a Humvee?

I don't care what anyone else thinks.

[justchris]

The phrase 'Star Wars: Adhesive Death Star' sent me into fits of laughter.

Re:I don't care what anyone else thinks.

[Kazzahdrane]

Indeed, it seems some people here have forgotten how to laugh. I thought the article was very amusing and the line you mentioned was the one that made me actually laugh out loud :)

Re:I don't care what anyone else thinks.

[sethstorm]

"That's not a planet, it's a Katamari!"

The real gaming in 2010...

[supabeast!]

by 2010, 50% of American households will have an HDTV. Microsoft and Sony will still be fighting over HDTV and media formats, while most major third party developers will have scrapped HDTV in favor of working with NTSC Resolution on Nintendo's consoles, and there will be a lot of unemployed texture artists pissed off that they listened to all those loudmouths at Epic who keep whinging about needing more artists.

PC gaming will no longer exist. Instead of buying high-end graphics cards, gamers decided to jus

I demand a photoshop contest

[Anonymous Coward]

This article is begging for pictures.

Let me predict the future

[Toxicgonzo]

In 2010, the top ten games of the year will be:

10. Madden 2010
9. Super Mario 512
8. Kingdom Hearts V
7. Resident Evil 7
6. Quake 6
5. Halo 5
4. Unreal 2010
3. Metal Gear Solid 6
2. Final Fantasy XIII
1. Half-life 3

^50 bucks says at least one of those will be on the top ten list

Re:Let me predict the future

[jurgenaut]

What, no Duke Nukem Forever on that list?

Re:Let me predict the future

[maddskillz]

It has been pushed back to 2013

Re:Let me predict the future

[teratogenicbenzene]

...and a glowing report on the progress of Duke Nukem Forever.

Re:MMORPG Regulations Defined.

[Bagels]

So... institutionalized racism, basically?

Re:MMORPG Regulations Defined.

[sethstorm]

Play Lineage II for a while, and see how the bots operate - it's not the easy path to do, but since they code their own utilities to read the field, establish ways of avoiding bans, and possibly have contracted territories, it's not an easy decision to make. They even have their own servers officially for their country, and it is more likely to be kicked off theirs than to have the US servers ban them - and even the non-botting populations take advantage knowing that the only time they really enforce their

I'm getting the 3rd Gen XBox!

[Durrill]

I'm sure the XBox 720 will be aiming for a launch by then. If I am to guarantee to get myself one for the actual launch day, I'll need to make my pre order now. Come to think of it, i'm gonna get a preorder on my way home tonight!

Re:I'm getting the 3rd Gen XBox!

[TibbonZero]

Has anyone realized how poor the naming of the Xbox 360 is?

Making a turn of n(360) where n is an integer will take you nowhere. Kinda like a they Chevy Nova.

And true to the name, the games aren't even one step better than the prior system, and the better graphic'd games on the previous generation systems (Shadows of the Collusus) look almost exactly the same. In fact, I bet if the PS2 has better specs, with the same coding they could have just 'turned up the settings' on Shadows of the Collusus and i

It's really too bad....

[Madpony]

...that article wasn't even funny.

Play length

[mahdi13]

They forgot to mention that the average first person shooter will take 3 hours to complete and will require about 1TB of hard drive space to install

But it will look fantastic!