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Role Playing (Games) It's funny.  Laugh.

Real Life Questing For Gold 33

Posted by Zonk
from the who-can-turn-down-gold? dept.
The Escapist has a funny piece that reveals why real life quests are hard to complete. From the article: "I should explain the scenario. I, the brave wizard, had transferred through a portal into this dimension, but could not leave the spot on which I stood. It was imperative to the survival of the universe that the magic spell I held (a rolled up scroll of paper, engagingly tied with a purple ribbon) be given to the girl in the red cloak and hood, waiting outside what you humans call 'the shoe shop,' 300 yards down the road. Upon completion of this vital task, a bag of gold coins would be given as a reward. In my dimension, chocolate coins are of the very highest worth. Would anyone go out of their way for me, in order to be the savior of all mankind, for the prize of a bag of candy?"
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Real Life Questing For Gold

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  • Article Text (Score:1, Redundant)

    by Sparr0 (451780)
    The HTML problems made it hard to read, but here is the text... not particularly interesting:

    There are conventions in media we become perfectly used to, despite their having no place in reality. If we watch a movie, and someone is given CPR in the street, on the beach or dangling on a rope from a hot air balloon, we know they'll come back to life. Nevermind that CPR merely sustains things until proper medical equipment arrives - we know, and accept, that with a couple of compressions and a few puffs in the
  • Is this the lunatic that was mentioned on Fark.com ?
  • by outlaw69 (209617)
    ummm...No?
  • by TopShelf (92521) on Monday February 06, 2006 @11:35PM (#14656992) Homepage Journal
    But after reading the article, I'm convinced guys like this really are better off staying in their parents' basement.
    • by Megane (129182) on Tuesday February 07, 2006 @02:11AM (#14657842) Homepage
      Guy in Kitchen: I'M GOING TO GET A SODA, ANYONE WANT ONE? HEY GRAHAM I'M NOT IN THE ROOM RIGHT?
      Graham: What room?
      Galstaff: I wanna cast... Magic Missile!
      Guy in Kitchen: THE ROOM WHERE HE'S CASTING ALL THESE SPELLS FROM!
      Graham: He hasn't cast anything yet!
      Galstaff: I am though if you'd listen. I'm casting Magic Missile!
      Graham: Why are you casting Magic Missile? There's nothing to attack here.
      Galstaff: I... I'm attacking the darkness!
      (LAUGHTER FROM ALL)
      Graham: Fine, fine... you attack the darkness. There's an elf in front of you.
  • from TFA (Score:5, Funny)

    by argStyopa (232550) on Monday February 06, 2006 @11:39PM (#14657030) Journal
    And if one thing should be taken from this experience, above anything else, should the fate of the universe ever be in your hands, only bother to seek the aid of girls under the age of 30.

    Or, should you want just about anything else - happiness, fun, etc. look there too. At least in my experience.
    • And if one thing should be taken from this experience, above anything else, should the fate of the universe ever be in your hands, only bother to seek the aid of girls under the age of 30.
      Not from this one, however...
      the girl in the red cloak and hood
      ...as you'd better realize that she is in fact the sentient Agent Smith.
  • by Microlith (54737) on Monday February 06, 2006 @11:40PM (#14657036)
    Until he tells me where I can find Mithril and Truesilver deposits.
  • by mendaliv (898932) on Monday February 06, 2006 @11:44PM (#14657076)
    While it's understandable that so many would turn away this oddball magician, I really wonder what would happen if you were to just play the role of a normal person who has (for lack of a better word) a quest that needs completion.

    The pessimist inside me wants to say that a real problem would get similar results, but I'd like to see what sorts of people would actually go for a "quest" of sorts...
  • HAH! (Score:1, Redundant)

    by Lord_Dweomer (648696)
    Best.

    Summary.

    Ever.

  • Brilliant (Score:3, Interesting)

    by kickedfortrolling (952486) on Tuesday February 07, 2006 @12:50AM (#14657453)
    News, its not, entertaining and refreshing, it very much is

    I would love nothing more than to walk down the street and see someone with a giant yellow ! above their heads ready to charge me with a task to save the world (or kill a few murlocs) and recieve some fantastic reward (or a new belt).. I must admit i have never looked that closely at people who beckon to me as i walk up the high street, but from now on i promise i'll glance at their heads and give it a chance.

    perhaps i should be locked up in the basement too :S
    • and recieve some fantastic reward (or a new belt)..

      Yes, my leather belt of trouser support was purchased ten seasons ago, and while it has served me well, I feel the need to have it replaced.

  • A classic Shenmue video [somethingawful.com].

    What's the opposite of a simulator?

    From Something Awful [somethingawful.com].

  • Some of what I've learned from playing video games:

    1. Shoot everything that moves, even after it's dead.
    2. Pick every pocket you can. There's gold in them there asses!
    3. Blowing up barrels is fun!
    4. Break every crate you see. You'll need that extra amunition.
    5. You can get into a shoot-out with the National Guard, take 20 bullets and wake up several hours later to continue your rampage.
    6. Aliens are attracted to ammo power-ups for some reason.
    7. Break into every house you can. Cool spells are often found

The universe does not have laws -- it has habits, and habits can be broken.

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