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The 10 Most Dangerous Toys of All Time 404

Ant writes "An article at the Radar lists the ten most dangerous toys of all time, those treasured playthings that drew blood, chewed digits, took out eyes, and, in one case, actually irradiated. To keep things interesting, the editors excluded BB guns, slingshots, throwing stars, and anything else actually intended to inflict harm." My favorite: 'Feed Me!' begged the packaging for 1996's Cabbage Patch Snacktime Kid. And much like the carnivorous Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors, the adorable lineup of Cabbage Patch snack-dolls appeared at first to be harmless. They merely wanted a nibble--a carrot perhaps, or maybe some yummy pudding. They would stop chewing when snack time was done -- they promised. Then they chomped your child's finger off."
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The 10 Most Dangerous Toys of All Time

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  • by Anonymous Coward on Saturday December 16, 2006 @04:11AM (#17266720)
    "It's unclear what effects the Uranium-bearing ores might have had on those few lucky children who received the set"

    Exactly. It has the N-word in it so it must be dangerous, right? I highly doubt kids who played with this would have even got a fraction of the dose that they normally get from naturally occurring radon. But any risk is too great, right?

    Part of the reason the world is so anti-nuclear is that simple science educating toys like this are banned and exaggerated anti-nuclear views (like that of the author) remain unchallenged. Perhaps my generation was the last one where parents normally bought their children electronics and chemistry sets. Today we would fear that the child would be shocked or chemically burned (regardless of the probability).
  • Great List (Score:1, Insightful)

    by rblancarte ( 213492 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @04:13AM (#17266738) Homepage
    I actually had #9 the Battlestar Galactica Missle Launcher. I remember from the Viper Pilot figure in the picture.

    Of course, the discontinueing of these toys wouldn't be needed if people would use their common sense. Then again, I guess that is too hard to expect from the average American.

    RonB
  • Re:Great List (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Telvin_3d ( 855514 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @04:24AM (#17266790)
    Of course, the discontinueing of these toys wouldn't be needed if people would use their common sense. Then again, I guess that is too hard to expect from the average American.

    Talk about someone with a grudge against Americans. Sure, make fun of them when they earn it (which is often, I will concede), but this is a bit much. Considering the target market is between 4 and 10 years of age, I think expecting a constant level of common sense IS a bit much to ask. That's why children are treated like children.
  • by FunkSoulBrother ( 140893 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @04:26AM (#17266802)
    I'm wondering if it really chomped the fingers OFF, or if they just got caught. The article doesn't really seem to say. I have a hard time thinking they'd design a mechanism powerful enough to sever a finger.
  • Jarts is #1! (Score:5, Insightful)

    by EvilOpie ( 534946 ) * on Saturday December 16, 2006 @04:30AM (#17266818) Homepage
    It's sad, before even opening the article I knew that lawn darts would rank #1 on the list. I guess it mildly annoys me because they aren't that dangerous if you know how to use them properly. Just make sure that there's nobody down range, and don't do anything stupid with them (like throw them straight up over your head) and no one gets hurt.

    I remember playing with Jarts as a kid (<10 years old) many times over. No one ever got hurt from it. There was enough common sense to keep people behind the shooter when playing the game. I guess it seems silly to me that people keep picking on Jarts because there are so many other "dangerous" things out there as well. Jarts is in a small way, a slow form of archery (sharp objects propelled at a target down range), and know that it can be made relatively safe if the proper precautions are taken. I suppose that even something as innocent as playing horseshoes could be dangerous too, should someone take a blow from a heavy chunk of metal to their head. But it's always Jarts that gets picked on. According to a wikipedia article [wikipedia.org] the incident that led to the banning of lawn darts was mostly a result of the combination of lawn darts and beer. That's frequently a bad combination of anything.

    Of course without lawn darts, we wouldn't have neat T-shirts about them [ebay.com]. The rest of the list is interesting too. I'm surprised at how many kids that mini-hammock (ranked #3) has managed to strangle over the years.

  • by QuoteMstr ( 55051 ) <dan.colascione@gmail.com> on Saturday December 16, 2006 @04:30AM (#17266820)
    Do you realize that smoke detectors contain americium-241, which is radioactive? I doubt the minute radioactivity in the kit would have been more dangerous than, say, a dental X-ray. While some other toys on the list were genuine death (or finger-)traps, I think the inclusion of the inclusion of kit on the list is merely a result of confused paranoia.
  • Re:Great List (Score:1, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday December 16, 2006 @04:34AM (#17266840)
    I guess you were never a kid or you would know better than to say that.
  • Re:Jarts is #1! (Score:4, Insightful)

    by jorghis ( 1000092 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @04:35AM (#17266846)
    Under your logic sniper rifles would be great toys for kids. Just make sure that there's nobody down range, and don't do anything stupid with them (like shoot them at your head) and no one gets hurt. : )
  • Kinda Surprised (Score:5, Insightful)

    by camperdave ( 969942 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @04:35AM (#17266848) Journal
    I'm kind of surprised that chemistry sets and wood burning kits failed to make the list. Nothing says child safety like hot sharp iron and alcohol burners.
  • Re:Jarts is #1! (Score:5, Insightful)

    by robbiedo ( 553308 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @04:36AM (#17266852)
    Common sense is a rare and precious commodity, especially in young boys. I nearly set my parent's house on fire with my little chemistry experiments when I was 8.
  • Re:Great List (Score:1, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday December 16, 2006 @05:01AM (#17266940)
    One: Toys are directed towards children, who aren't exactly known for their common sense.

    Two: As a parent, do you honestly look closely at every single toy you buy for your kids? I have no doubt that every parent has, at least once, just grabbed a toy off the shelf without more than a glance at the packaging. And there's nothing wrong with that--we buy toys based on the assumption that they're safe because they SHOULD be safe. See point one--they're made for people with very little common sense.

    Three: Some of those toys are ridiculously poorly designed and dangerous--it's not the parents' fault (or the kid's) that mattel designed a doll that could literally chew your fingers off. There's no way any parent would expect that kind of behavior from a doll made by one of America's biggest toy companies.

    Four: Even if you're a perfect parent and only buy safe toys, it's not only your child's toys that are dangerous--some out of control brat with a lawn dart can still put their damned eye out. Or your kid will stick his finger's in Johnny's doll's mouth and get it bitten off.

    I honestly don't see the big deal with any of those toys being banned--an exposed hotplate that reaches 300 degrees? That's not a monster factory, that's a maiming factory. Radiation play sets? Lil' strangler hammocks? Please.
  • Re:Great List (Score:5, Insightful)

    by kfg ( 145172 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @05:07AM (#17266970)
    Considering the target market is between 4 and 10 years of age, I think expecting a constant level of common sense IS a bit much to ask. That's why children are treated like children.

    i.e. the supid ones need to be weeded out early. It's not like we don't have fun making more of the little bastards. Wanna put some common sense into little Johnny's head, assuming his head is capable of holding such?

    Just look him right in the eye and say, "Go right ahead. It's not like you're my only one."

    Knowing that mommy and daddy not only will not always be able to protect you, but knowing that they won't even necessarily try teaches you to bloody well look out for yourself.

    Maybe we were just funny that way, but back in the day we thought that being able and willing to take care of yourself was something of a survival trait.

    But what did we know.

    KFG
  • by Sibko ( 1036168 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @05:14AM (#17267002)

    they actually made a radioactive energy kit FOR KIDS?! Why don't they just put "For ages 8 and up, especially terrorists" on it? They could build a dirty pipe bomb (radiation spreading) using just a couple of those kits probably.

    You've got to be kidding me. I think your brain shut off the second you heard nuclear and radiation. I am astounded that the first thing you think of when you see this isn't, "children might swallow the slightly radioactive material, and get sick from heavy metal poisoning." but, "terrorists are going to buy a whole bunch of these kits, and then use the marginally radioactive material to slightly irradiate people with a small pipe bomb! ZOMG!!11 TERRORIRST!!"
  • by tomjen ( 839882 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @05:21AM (#17267024)
    Until such time you burn it. The problem with the gulf syndrom is that you inhale U-238 dust. An alpha emitter would kill you in enough of the stuff is inhalede (or digested).
  • by Loconut1389 ( 455297 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @05:25AM (#17267038)
    But have a dental x-ray running in your room for a couple years and you might have a problem.
  • Re:Asshole (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday December 16, 2006 @05:45AM (#17267090)
    Actually, most of the playgrounds I see today are made out of metal coated with rubber, which is much more durable than wood. The only plastic parts are slides, roofs, and some of the toys (beanbag toss, slats in log bridges, etc.)

    And I have to say the metal playgrounds are miles better than the "awesome wood playgrounds" they replaced. Wood playgrounds were shitty--they were built small, often very unimiganitive design-wise, they splintered terribly, and they were never maintained.

    As for gravel--that's the second worst to use on a playground* and I've never understood why people would choose it. Sand is much better, and I see sand a lot more often than I see rubber mats (which are actually quite hard) or shredded rubber.

    Of course, my experience with playgrounds may not be representative, since I live in a pretty affluent area and thus we can probably afford more expensive gear.

    I'm not entirely sure why you're so hostile about it. It's a playground. Get over it.

    *The first worst is woodchips. Yes, I've seen it once. It didn't last long because the kids kept scraping the shit out of themselves.
  • by SharpFang ( 651121 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @06:13AM (#17267180) Homepage Journal
    Excuse me, but each of these samples was likely far less irradiating than an average depleted uranium bullet. All the terrorists have to do is to pick american bullets shot all over their country, grind them to a powder and voila, a dirty-bomb irradiation material, many tons of it, for free. As opposed to 3 small samples which would likely have to be placed directly in contact with your skin for 5 years to increase risk of cancer, and totally useless for a dirty bomb, because the explosion would spread it so thinly that they wouldn't be stronger than background radiation.
  • Re:Great List (Score:1, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday December 16, 2006 @06:17AM (#17267196)
    Children are only children if you treat em as such. Treat them like adults, and you'll be amazed how smart they really are. Too bad our Western culture has injected this stage into our lives.

    And if they still stuck it in their mouths, they're just dumb people and nothing is lost.
  • by localman ( 111171 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @06:30AM (#17267236) Homepage
    It has to be the bicycle, no? I distinctly remember my friends and I doing head on collisions on purpose on our bicycles. It was a form of jousting without the lances, I think. Man, the things you can get away with when you're under 100 lbs.

    Anyways, I think we should ban bicycles.

    Just kidding.
  • by kfg ( 145172 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @07:10AM (#17267372)
    Look at the laws being enacted, the charges and/or suits being filed and the way our school system is run.

    http://www.thememoryhole.org/edu/school-mission.ht m [thememoryhole.org]

    Sure wouldn't have wanted people with these attitudes today back when me and my friends played chicken in the park with our ever present pocket knifes.

    I used to carry mine to school. Not only was I not considered armed and dangerous, but I was considered one of the "good little boys," who didn't stir up any trouble; unless a grownup did something downright stupid. Then they were in trouble. I homed right in on stupid.

    Frankly we have been going downhill for years.

    Ya wanna know how the terrorists are going to win? Well, oddly enough, I'm willing to tell you how they're going to win.

    No dirty nukes, no poisoning the water supply.

    They're just going to sneak into all of our homes and place a pea under each mattress; after which we will simply whine ourselves to fucking death.

    Why yes, I did take an extra spoonful of curmudgeon this morning. Why do you ask?

    KFG
  • Re:Asshole (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Venerable Vegetable ( 1003177 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @07:38AM (#17267482)
    Wow, you're rude, an idiot and got modded insightful. Congratulations.

    First of all, being made of wood doesn't make a toy awesome. You can make a plastic replica of any toy and it will be exactly the same. Except it won't be wood. Big deal. Half my toys were wood, the other were plastic. I din't care, I didn't even notice. I was too busy playing with them.

    You don't like the plastic toys from today? I think that has more to do with you "growing up" from an imaginative child into a cinical adult.

    By the way, there are lots of reasons for using plastic. For example it's easier to produce (and color), cheaper, cleaner, lighter. Especially early plastics were not safe at all and ALSO splintered.
    The same applies to rubber mats. Much easier to clean, easier to use.

    Oh, and yes modern materials are safer. How unfortunate! If you think that taking risks is essential to having fun (and life in general) then something is wrong with your head. Personally, I like to not having to fear for my life all the time. There are plenty of other challenges left.
    Also, of course parents should look after their own children. But doesn't that also mean providing a safe environment for them?

    Oh and one more thing, guess what material the toy in question was made of?
  • Scars (Score:3, Insightful)

    by tsa ( 15680 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @07:53AM (#17267548) Homepage
    A friend of mine who has a one year old kid once said to me: "he [the kid] hasn't lived when he doesn't have any scars when he reaches puberty." My friend is right of course. There are toys in that list that I would gladly give my kids, if I had any. The Sky Dancers, the cannon and the Creepy Crawlers I think are particularly cool and not too dangerous.
  • by Fred_A ( 10934 ) <fred@f r e d s h o m e . o rg> on Saturday December 16, 2006 @09:55AM (#17268108) Homepage
    Isn't it more educational for them to blow themselves up than donkeys ? (not to mention beneficial to the gene pool) ?
  • Broken ribs??? (Score:5, Insightful)

    by pla ( 258480 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @10:32AM (#17268328) Journal
    Waitasec... Under the "SkyDancers" entry, it mentions "broken ribs". I can see the other mild forms of damage, particularly eye injuries, but how the hell would six ounces of plastic and foam, even spinning as fast as its little plastic launcher can make it, manage to break bones?

    I took issue with a few other entries as well, but it seems like many of these "dangers" don't really involve the toy itself, much like "injury while under the influence" - The alcohol doesn't hurt you, your actions while drunk hurt you.

    Some stupid kid probably launched one of these off the roof to see how far it could go, then proceeded to fall off the roof. Do we blame the toy for that?
  • by Loco Moped ( 996883 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @10:53AM (#17268420)
    they actually made a radioactive energy kit FOR KIDS?! Why don't they just put "For ages 8 and up, especially terrorists" on it? They could build a dirty pipe bomb (radiation spreading) using just a couple of those kits probably.

    You know, the sad part is that nowdays a kid who has graduated from high school might actually think this could happen.
    Whatever happened to 8th grade physics?
  • by Daniel Dvorkin ( 106857 ) * on Saturday December 16, 2006 @11:01AM (#17268472) Homepage Journal
    I agree with your post overall, but --

    the US military claims it's harmless and has not trouble using it around civilians in large amounts

    Speaking as a Gulf War vet who has seen many of his fellow vets suffer from GWS, and has also observed the stonewalling they've received (first the military denied that the disease existed at all, and when that stopped working, disclaimed any responsibility) I have to say, that's not exactly a ringing endorsement.

  • by Chris Burke ( 6130 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @11:21AM (#17268612) Homepage
    You've got to be kidding me. I think your brain shut off the second you heard nuclear and radiation.

    Yeah, it's like the U.S.A. is Pee Wee's Playhouse, and "radiation" has been the Secret Word for over 50 years.

    President Pee-Wee: Okay kids, now what do you do when you hear the word "radiation"?
    People: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
    President Pee-Wee: That's right! Good sheeple.
  • by CaroKann ( 795685 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @11:37AM (#17268708)
    I used to have one toy that certainly should have made the list. I don't remember who made it, but the toy was an enclosed, circular plastic maze with a nickel-sized ball of mercury contained within. The idea is that you tilt and rotate the toy to maneuver the mercury drop into the center of the maze. Imagine what would happen if the plastic broke. Imagine how many of these toys were simply thrown away in the garbage.
    Come to think of it, my father may still have it somewhere. I'll have to find it and take it to the hazardous waste disposal site when I visit next time.
  • by ceoyoyo ( 59147 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @01:32PM (#17269534)
    You're completely right. Wild animals' real world doesn't involve anything like war. More like a constant state of war where the enemy doesn't just try and shoot you, he eats you afterward.
  • by paanta ( 640245 ) on Saturday December 16, 2006 @01:36PM (#17269566) Homepage
    I dunno. I think it's the smart ones that get in the most trouble. Inquisitive kids are the ones who try to figure out exactly how combustion works and what makes things go boom. Or who figure out how to get their c02 cars to take a model rocket engine. Or who tear apart electronic devices containing powerful capacitors. Who here hasn't done their fair share of learning through second degree burning?

And it should be the law: If you use the word `paradigm' without knowing what the dictionary says it means, you go to jail. No exceptions. -- David Jones

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