Ask the Designers of D&D Fourth Edition 482
This past August, big news dropped in the tabletop gaming community: 2008 would see the release of a fourth edition of Dungeons and Dragons. Since then the official D&D Insider site, and communities like the excellent ENWorld, have been doing their best to keep us up to date on the ins and outs of the newest way to dungeon-delve. With the release just five months away, we've been given a chance to put some questions to the team developing the game. One question per post, if you would, and we'll make sure to pass the best questions on to the designers. Don't forget to ask about the online version of the D&D tools as well! We'll get their answers back to you as soon as we get them, so fire away.
New spells? (Score:5, Funny)
Which multi-sided dice... (Score:0, Funny)
One question (Score:2, Funny)
Where are the Cheetos? (Score:5, Funny)
Sorry - this just hits too close to home (self-proclaimed geek).
Rules new in the 4th edition - many bugfixes (Score:4, Funny)
2. A one man band is not an appropriate bard instrument.
3. There is no Dwarven god of heavy artillery.
4. My 7th Sea character Boudreaux is not the 'Southern' Montaigne.
5. Not allowed to blow all my skill points on 1pt professional skills.
6. Synchronized panicking is not a proper battle plan.
7. Nor is "Kill them all and let God sort them out"
8. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes.
9. How to serve Dragons is not a cookbook.
10. My monk's lips must be in sync.
11. Just because my character and I can speak German, doesn't mean the GM can.
13. Not allowed to berserk for the hell of it, especially during royal masquerades.
13. Must learn at least one offensive or defensive spell if I'm the sorcerer.
14. Must not murder canon NPCs in their sleep, no matter how cliche they are.
15. Ogres are not kosher.
16. Plan B is not automatically twice as much explosives as Plan A.
17. I will not beat Tomb of Horrors in less than 10 minutes from memory.
18. Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero.
19. When surrendering I am to hand the sword over HILT first.
20. Drow are not good eating.
21. Polka is not appropriate marching music.
22. No longer allowed to recreate the Death Star Trench Run out of genre.
23. There is no such thing as a Gnomish Pygmy War Rhino.
24. Any character who has a sensitivity training center named after him will be taken away.
25. Even if the rules allow it, I am not allowed to summon 50,000 Blue Whales.
26. The green elf does not need food badly.
27. Valley speak has no place in a fantasy setting. Especially if you're the paladin.
28. I am not to shoot every corpse in the head to make sure they aren't a zombie in Twilight 2000.
29. The Goddess' of Marriage chosen weapon is not the whip.
30. I cannot have any gun that requires me to continue the damage code on back.
31. I am not to kill off all the vampires in the LARP, even if they are terminally stupid.
32. The backup trap handler is not whoever has the most HP at the time.
33. I cannot buy any animal in groups of 100 or over.
34. There is no such skill as 'improvised cooking'
35. I am not allowed to base any Droid off any character played by Joe Pesci.
36. I am not allowed to convince the entire party to play R2 units.
37. I am not allowed to convince the entire party to sit on the same side of the table.
38. They do not make black market illegal cyberweapons for rodents.
39. When investigating evil cultists not allowed to just torch the decrepit mansion from the outside.
40. Dwarves do not have the racial ability 'can lick their eyebrows'
41. Dwarves do not have the racial ability to hold their breath for 10 minutes.
42. Dwarves do not have the racial ability 'impromptu kickstand'
43. Having a big nose adds nothing to my seduction check.
44. No longer allowed to set nazi propaganda music to a snappy disco beat.
45. Not allowed to spend all 100 character points on 100 1pt skills.
46. My character names are not allowed to be double entendres.
47. Sliver rhymes with silver because the computer frelling says so.
48. They do not make Nair in wookie sizes.
49. The elf is restricted to decaf for the rest of the adventure.
50. Not allowed to blow up the Death Star before that snotty farm kid gets his shot.
51. Not allowed to use thermodynamic science to asphyxiate the orcs' cave instead of exploring it first.
52. No longer allowed to use the time machine for booty calls.
53. My bard does not know how to play Inna Godda Davida on marachas.
54. Not allowed to start a drow character weighing more than a quarter ton.
55. Cannot pimp out other party members.
56. Before facing the dragon, not allowed to glaze the elf.
57. No matter how well I roll, a squirrel cannot carry a horse and rider at full sprint.
58. In the middle of a black op I cannot ask a guard to validate parking.
59. Expended ammun
Re:Critical Failure (Score:3, Funny)
The second rule is don't talk about fight club for some reason... I think it just slows down play when we all deny being Tyler Durdin.
Re:D&D and WOW (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Which multi-sided dice... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:D&D and WOW (Score:4, Funny)
Re:D&D and WOW (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Which multi-sided dice... (Score:3, Funny)
Multi-sided dice? No, in the next edition they're moving to single-sided dice. 1 is a critical hit, while 1 is a critical miss. 1 is success, and 1 is failure. There won't be much room for rules lawyers to maneuver.
Re:New content for old Settings? (Score:3, Funny)
It's elemental because some 20 year old writer at WotC misunderstood "Temple of Elemental Evil"
You missed one. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:New spells? (Score:3, Funny)
Cantrip (level 0)
Escape Parents' Basement
Alteration/Enchantment
Range: Touch
Duration: Permanent
Material Component: Your own place to live
This ritual, when cast simultaneously by one or more wizards with a combined credit score of at least 700 and their own place to live, causes the subject to come live with them. The subject will now permanently live in the new residence until one of the three criteria is met: Divine Intervention, Casting Remove Curse, or Getting A Job.
Despite the low casting level of this spell, the prohibitively high credit score requirement and scarcity of the material requirement often means that a single individual in possession of both is highly unlikely to be willing to cast this spell without some reciprocal service in return. As is more commonly the case, a large group of friends will pool their resources to cast this spell on the subject, such that 5 people sharing a 1-bedroom apartment now becomes 6-people sharing a 1-bedroom apartment.
S.
Write this in the history books. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Which multi-sided dice... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:New spells? (Score:2, Funny)
You: (rolls) A 20!
DM: Ok, roll for crit.
You: (rolls) Another 20!
DM: A super-4x crit! Sadly, it's still not enough to overcome your 3 charisma and Francine turns you down yet again.
You: (mumble)
DM: No, you don't get to "tumble". She turned you down.
Re:Boy, I hope not! (Score:2, Funny)
Hence in a sense, yes, they do get more fumble-fingered. "I walk up to the necro wearing cloth armor and doing such delicate finger movements that he cannot even wear leather and swing my massive sword."
DM: He dodges easily, while continuing the finger motions that are so delicate he cannot even wear leather.
Whatever.