The 30 Dumbest Video Game Titles In History

An anonymous reader writes "Not every game involves taking an axe to the head of a criminal; some classics from the 80's involved massacring camels from aircraft, or in the case of "How to Be a Complete Bastard" for the C64, something altogether different(unless you're a camel). CNet has collected the 30 most ridiculous game names and concepts from the last 25 years. Quite frankly, how some of these — including "Touch Dic" from Korea — ever made it onto store shelves is beyond me."

Just the mandatory top worst list

[Moraelin]

Ah, heh, it's just the mandatory "Top X Worst Y" kind of list, that became popular in the last half a decade or so. You know, so they can show they're hip, smack-talking, unbiased and irreverent like that, and aren't afraid to say it when a game sucked 20 years ago. (Although your mileage may vary a lot if it's a game from this year and from a major publisher.) It's the videogame reviewer version of building up street cred.

On the bright side, at least these guys don't talk too much smack. I've seen too many other such list which sound like the stereotypical pimple-faced 15 year old trying to sound like a wigger gangsta. They get brownie points for not doing that.

On the less bright side, it's as stupid and grasping at straws as any other such list. If you get past the first page, it becoes a lot more hit and miss, and more miss than hit. I'm kinda at a loss to see what's wrong with some of those names. Or why they are worse than a couple thousand other games from that era.

E.g., "Gun Club" may not be the most exciting name or concept, but it's neither stupid nor ridiculous. Plus, it doesn't sound any worse than any other shooting gallery kind of game, so no idea why they singled that one out.

E.g., "Chemist Tycoon" may get extra penalty points for being yet another attempt to cash in on the "tycoon" title. (Personally I'm still waiting for someone to come up with Battlefield Tycoon, and cash in on both;) But honestly it doesn't sound any worse than, say, Shopping Centre Tycoon, Restaurant Tycoon (if I recall its title right) or the two dozen other Tycoon games.

I mean, if you think running a chemist's shop is stupid, picture a buggy simulation of running a restaurant, plus a heavy-handed attempt at a story: that you're fighting to save the world from someone who cornered the market by having cheap prices and good quality. No, seriously, it's not even my interpretation of it, you have the "quest giver" (so to speak) tell you exactly that. So you're fighting to make the world safe again for overpriced and poor quality restaurant owners again, I guess.

E.g., "How To Be A Complete Bastard" may be morally questionable (but then they don't have a problem with GTA too?), but it sounds like it describes the game's content perfectly. And they endorse it as an old game to check out, so it can't have been that dumb a game idea either. As a sidenote, they're also wrong that no similar game has been made ever since. Check out Neighbours From Hell [boese-nachbarn.com] from Jowood.

E.g., "Barbie Horse Adventures" doesn't sound all that exciting for an adult, but, here's the important part, it's a game for little girls. It's not supposed to be Return To Castle Rammstein... err... Wolfenstein. Now I'll give them some slack there, because truly most games for little kids are an abomination, and those for little girls doubly so. But still, I'm curious, is there any reason to single out Barbie Horse Adventures there? I can think of a dozen titles along similarly silly premises for kids, and those didn't seem to make the list. Some even, yes, about riding a pony or caring for a pony. Was Barbie Horse Adventures that much dumber than those? I'm genuinely curious. Or is it something about Barbie that makes that concept dumber than usual?

E.g., Ship Simulator, well, it might not sound that exciting as a concept, but it's also not the worst. Perhaps more importantly, it's not there just because some devs were too retarded to come up with a better game concept. It's actually a training program that only incidentally also got sold as a video game.

But if we're going to include that and Bus Driver, how about Der Planner 3. It's also a training program, only this time for business. And not only it got published as a game, but also got saddled with some of the most uninspired things in history, to make it more game-like. Like it got a sorta Sims-like "at home" mode, except it missed all the points that Sims fans liked in The Sims. Plus a wife which could d

Time Race / Leisure Suit Larry

[weighn]

I had this knock-off game for the Atari 2600 called Time Race. IIRC it was a side-scrolling space shooter, like scramble but with a few more colours. Neither the concept of time or racing had anything to do with it ... actually that's so dumb as not to be even remotely funny.

As time went by I got a C64, but never did find myself "keeping up" and going to the Amiga. I always thought that Leisure Suit Larry was a great name for a game, but never got to play it.

Re:Dumb or ridiculous?

[Reapman]

I actually played that game.. I heard he wrote it on a plane or something while he was bored. Small but interetsing little game, and the only damn way I could remember that code!!

Re:Cheats

[Anonymous Coward]

In a "dumb cheats" contest, Alien Breed would kick NZS's butt. :-)

BEWARE ALIENS SPADGE HAS DROPPED ONE

or,

BLIMEY GUVNOR LOOK AT THE SIZE OF HIS JOHN THOMAS

or a lot more:

http://www.gamewinners.com/amiga/AlienBreed.htm [gamewinners.com]

Re:Just the mandatory top worst list

[MarkAyen]

I actually think parent was being too kind. The choices seemed arbitrary at best and the commentary covered the full spectrum from innane to juvenile.

And just for the record, I think If It Moves, Shoot It! is an outstanding name.