Blizzard to Boll - DENIED!

Drathos writes "From MTV Movies Blog by way of WoW Insider: Everyone's least favorite director, Uwe Boll approached Blizzard about making a World of Warcraft movie. Their response? "We will not sell the movie rights, not to you ... especially not to you.""

a shame

[Anonymous Coward]

That's a shame, because if there's someone who could capture the sheer mundacity of WoW, I think it would be Boll.

May I proudly proclaim...

[dintech]

Woohoo! This is a proud day for both gaming and movie making.

I dunno...

[d3ac0n]

It can't be any worse than the WOW Pr0n I found on Pirate Bay recently.

Pr0n chicks in green and blue body-paint with fake elf-ears and horns.

Not nearly as hot as you would think it is. :(

Re:noo

[superash]

Not a problem for bender! (... kiss my shiny metal ass :)

Blizzard and Quality

[Enderandrew]

I'm one of the few that doesn't play WoW, but I have a lot of respect for Blizzard's commitment to quality. They won't release a project they don't feel is up to their standards, and would rather take a huge loss than release a turd.

Re:I dunno...

[Dancindan84]

Pr0n chicks in green and blue body-paint with fake elf-ears and horns.

Not nearly as hot as you would think it is. :(

Consult a doctor immediately. The kind with the couch.

Re:Come on, let's deal with this once and for all

[Scutter]

Based on his open responses to the community, if you really think a petition will make him stop then I have this lovely bridge I'd like to sell you...

Re:Trey Parker & Matt Stone

[SatanicPuppy]

I don't know...I can't even imagine how boring the movie would be.

"Now we go to fight the ultimate evil!"
"Wait, we don't have the key to his front door."
"Who cares? Can't we break in?"
"No! The door is too powerful! We have to spend days of our lives getting the parts of the key and forging them together!"
"The door is too powerful? Fine. You guys go get the key..."
"Sorry, sir, we ALL need a key. So we each have to go on the key quest separately, though of course we can help each other."
"WHAT? That doesn't make any sense!"
"The door works in mysterious ways, sir."

Re:WoW Movie

[Culture20]

There was a lot of parts that just really dragged on.

And a WoW movie will be different how? Grind, grind, grind. Grind, grind, grind. Raid! Grind, grind, grind.

Re:noo

[Culture20]

"I don't like having discs crammed into me... unless they're Oreos... and then only in the mouth." -Fry

Re:I dunno...

[Anonymous Coward]

Pr0n chicks in green and blue body-paint with fake elf-ears and horns.

Not nearly as hot as you would think it is. :(

Consult a doctor immediately. The kind with the couch.

And have sex with them on it?

Re:WoW Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

...and people say the movies weren't true to the books.

In a purely hypothetical case...

[Cadallin]

Wouldn't it be easier to just shoot him in the head?

Not that I'm suggesting anyone should. Just y'know, it'd be a lot more expedient than a petition.

I almost wish they would...

[sTalking_Goat]

Maybe the sheer horror of the experience would get some people to finally pull the WoW needle from their arms and I'd get some friends back.

Re:May I proudly proclaim...

[dintech]

I hope the gaming suits and executives trying to learn everything the can from Blizzard's business model extend their eduction to this example too.

For the Horde

[Pojut]

The primary thing that pisses me off about the potential WoW movie is that from everything I have read, it looks like it's going to be told from the perspective of the Alliance.

Come on. Everyone knows the Alliance is for pussies. And so are Blood Elves.

Re:WoW Movie

[Impy the Impiuos Imp]

> Well, he (actually not him, the graphics effects people) did make [LotR] very pretty,
> but my overall level of excitement from the movie is pretty low. There was a lot
> of parts that just really dragged on.

So it was a very faithful reproduction of the books, then!

Re:WoW Movie

[Trent Hawkins]

And a WoW movie will be different how? Grind, grind, grind. Grind, grind, grind. Raid! Grind, grind, grind.

In movies it's called a montage [youtube.com]

Re:WoW Movie

[markov_chain]

Well, presumably with Jackson it *would* be different. Boll, on the other hand, would faithfully reproduce what you said--just look at his other FPS movies.

*run around in the dark*
*shoot a bunch of monsters*
*run around more*
*shoot more monsters*
etc.

Re:a shame

[nawcom]

Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Re:WoW Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

When the movie does (not if) come I'm hoping they base it on a PvP realm. So as our hero is grinding he gets jumped by 5 angry members of the opposing faction and just fucking dies.

This should also happen every ten minutes or so.

Re:WoW Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

[...] unless you enjoy sitting down for 5 hours straight (I don't), something had to be cut.

I'm in a wheelchair, you insensitive clod!

Re:WoW Movie

[Dr. Cody]

Yes, there were some important parts missing but unless you enjoy sitting down for 5 hours straight (I don't), something had to be cut.

In regards to a WoW film, I think you may be on to something.

Re:a shame

[An ominous Cow art]

To capture the proper level of 'realism', our heroes would also have to be constantly jumping around, like brain-damaged Mexican jumping beans.

Very well done, otherwise - my undead warlock did that mind-numbing grind.

Re:WoW Movie

[Wreckdom]

As a former WoW (Horde) gamer I can see two kinds of responses to a WoW movie: 1) People who don't care. 2) People who are too hooked on Wow to care.

Re:WoW Movie

[Rorschach1]

I think the real problem here is that no big-screen movie treatment could possibly do justice to the actual WoW experience in the same way that South Park did.

ARGH! Correction!

[Jesus_666]

I asked for a Slashdot movie, although I could believe that the Boll production would hit the shelves as "Sashdot".

Also, the world really needs a Sashdot site. "Belts for nerds, sashes that matter". Hell yeah.

Re:WoW Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

...and straight-out changed things that were completely contrary to what actually happened.

ummm...you realize that orcs are fake and that none of that ever happened right?

Re:a shame

[Darinbob]

And don't forget the mailbox dancing scene for the unrated version.

Re:WoW Movie

[PitaBred]

Yeah. I totally get lost in the realistic portrayal of characters in Robot Chicken and Jason and the Argonauts, or even Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit. Highly realistic.

Seriously... so what if there's "real" lighting on it? The small scale expansions (ginormous water droplets and the like) make a much larger chasm for suspension of disbelief to cross than a well-done CGI addition or scene.

Re:Trey Parker & Matt Stone

[antibryce]

They should base the script on Warcraft 2. That'll limit the dialogue to "dabu" and "yes my lord" and they should be able to finish the movie in record time.