Utah Senate, House Pass Jack Thompson's Game Sales Bill

Ars Technica reports that the Utah State Senate and House have both passed Jack Thompson's proposed legislation that would stiffen penalties for the sale of M-rated games to minors. Oddly, on its trip through the state legislature, amendments rendered it largely ineffective; retailers are in the clear if the employee who sold the game goes through a training program, or if the minor misrepresents his age. It's also possible that the bill could cause some retailers to simply take down their ESRB-related advertising. Thompson's statements about the bill put the focus on advertising, but discussion on the Utah Senate floor had a familiar ring, touching on the story of a Grand Theft Auto player who killed two policemen in 2003. The ESRB wrote an open letter in opposition of the bill, saying it could undo the efforts they've made to popularize their rating system. The bill's sponsors fired back, questioning the industry's overall commitment to ratings, and now it awaits only the governor's signature before becoming law.

why are people...

[Anonymous Coward]

STILL listening to Jack Thompson? He's already been certified crazy, disbarred with extreme prejudice (out of a cannon, into the sun) and will probably never practice law ever again.

Besides, we all know Jack Thompson died when Penny Arcade was honored by Washington.

Jack Thompson

[unlametheweak]

Didn't Jack Thompson die?

Re:The gist

[Anonymous Coward]

From skimming a selection of this post: Ass covering is the best policy.

Re:The gist

[Anonymous Coward]

From skimming a selection of this post: Ass.

Re:The gist

[Anonymous Coward]

From skimming a selection of this post:

Re:Jack Thompson

[davester666]

I always thought that you need to give up your soul and become undead to pass the bar.

Being disbarred is kind of like being rejected by Satan...

Note: IANAL :-0

Re:The gist

[Anonymous Coward]

Null reference exception.

Re: Revenge!

[russotto]

Picture the sales clerk saying OK kid! You must first misrepresent your age before I am allowed to sell you this game!

Bart: One "Itchy And Scratchy At It It Again", please.

Big Tony: How old are you, kid? Keepin' in mind, of course, that I can legally sell you this game unless you are over 18. Think hard before you answer.

Bart: (thinking) uummm, 23?

Big Tony: Here you go, and have a nice day.

(no I don't know why Big Tony would be selling the game)

Brainzzz

[stox]

As a zombie, he must be starving in Utah.

Re:Friggin' Utah.

[DurendalMac]

Meh, only in southern Utah.

Then again, there be lotsa slutty Mormon girls who will do everything but vag...

Re:why are people...

[Anonymous Coward]

To be fair, Republicans also listen to Rush Limbaugh. Whom do you think is a more crazy choice for them to listen?

Re:Jack Thompson

[Gerzel]

Undead Lawyer == Politician?

Re:Wow.... legislators in Utah

[British]

How is some disillusioned kid thinking D&D is real any different than thinking someone can be crucified, rise from the dead & turn water into wine?

Re:Jack Thompson

[beav007]

He was disbarred, which is sort of like dying for a lawyer. But he's still out there, sort of an undead lawyer now.

He still might be able to get a job with Morcombe, Slant and Honeyplace...

Re:Wow.... legislators in Utah

[Anonymous Coward]

...someone can be crucified, rise from the dead & turn water into wine?

Wait, what does David Blaine have to do with any of this?

Re:why are people...

[HiVizDiver]

To be fair, Republicans also listen to Rush Limbaugh. Whom do you think is a more crazy choice for them to listen?

I honestly don't know that there is a correct answer to this question.

Re:They should also make oxygen against the law

[jd]

If symptoms of a lack of oxygen are taken to include brain death, there is ample evidence they banned oxygen some considerable time ago.

No, Congress MUST ban this deadly chemical, DHMO!

[Doug52392]

The US has banned numerous chemicals due to their deadly effects, but one chemical is in EVERY PERSON'S HOME! It's called Dihydrogen Monoxide, and it poses a substantial threat to everyone!

Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO) is a colorless and odorless chemical compound, also referred to by some as Dihydrogen Oxide, Hydrogen Hydroxide, Hydronium Hydroxide, or simply Hydric acid. Its basis is the highly reactive hydroxyl radical, a species shown to mutate DNA, denature proteins, disrupt cell membranes, and chemically alter critical neurotransmitters. The atomic components of DHMO are found in a number of caustic, explosive and poisonous compounds such as Sulfuric Acid, Nitroglycerine and Ethyl Alcohol.

Each year, Dihydrogen Monoxide is a known causative component in many thousands of deaths and is a major contributor to millions upon millions of dollars in damage to property and the environment. Some of the known perils of Dihydrogen Monoxide are:

• Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities.
• Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.
• Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.
• DHMO is a major component of acid rain.
• Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.
• Contributes to soil erosion.
• Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.
• Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.
• Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.
• Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.
• Given to vicious dogs involved in recent deadly attacks.
• Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere, and in hurricanes including deadly storms in Florida, New Orleans and other areas of the southeastern U.S.
• Thermal variations in DHMO are a suspected contributor to the El Nino weather effect.

Not to mention the fact that DHMO can be connected to almost EVERY murder in the United States! All those people dead because someone was allowing this compound into his or her body.

Just look at some of the uses this deadly chemical is used for:

• as an industrial solvent and coolant,
• in nuclear power plants,
• by the U.S. Navy in the propulsion systems of some older vessels,
• by elite athletes to improve performance,
• in the production of Styrofoam,
• in biological and chemical weapons manufacture,
• in the development of genetically engineering crops and animals,
• as a spray-on fire suppressant and retardant,
• in so-called "family planning" or "reproductive health" clinics,
• as a major ingredient in many home-brewed bombs,
• as a byproduct of hydrocarbon combustion in furnaces and air conditioning compressor operation,
• in cult rituals,
• by the Church of Scientology on their members and their members' families (although surprisingly, many members recently have contacted DHMO.org to vehemently deny such use),
• by both the KKK and the NAACP during rallies and marches,
• by members of Congress who are under investigation for financial corruption and inappropriate IM behavior,
• by the clientele at a number of bath houses in New York City and San Francisco,
• historically, in Hitler's death camps in Nazi Germany, and in prisons in Turkey, Serbia, Croatia, Libya, Iraq and Iran,
• in World War II prison camps in Japan, and in prisons in China, for various forms of torture,
• during many recent religious and ethnic wars in the Middle East,
• by many terrorist organizations including al Quaeda,
• in community swimming pools to maintain chemical balance,
• in day care centers, purportedly for sanitary purposes,
• by software engineers, including those producing DICOM programmer APIs and other DICOM software tools,
• by popular computer science professors,
• by the semi-divine K

Re:The gist

[Anonymous Coward]

       

"Death of Anti-Gaming crusader blamed on Games"

[Doug52392]

Jack Thompson must be alive, because I don't remember seeing anything on CNN about an anti-gaming crusader's death being blamed on video games, nor do I remember any recent Congressional hearings investigating weather or not Thompson's death was inspired by the Grand Theft Auto: IV mission where the player must kill an anti-gaming self-proclaimed "moral crusader" attorney, who states, just before the player must kill the man, that "Guns don't kill people. Video games do."

Re:why are people...

[besalope]

Um, this is Utah.

Yeah, silly AC thought the constituents of Utah were people.

Re:Jack Thompson

[st0rmshad0w]

Undead Lawyer == Politician?

No worse, lobbyest, you can vote out politicians.

Re:Jack Thompson

[kitsunewarlock]

Only medically and in areas in which "your heart stops beating" is considered "dead".

Re:Jack Thompson

[tftp]

Didn't Jack Thompson die?

It doesn't matter, Jack Thompson saves frequently.

Re:Jack Thompson

[DanielKerr]

$ ps -A | grep "jack"
4092 ? 00:27:00 jackd
6248 ? 00:00:00 jackthompson
$ kill -9 6248
$ ps -A | grep "jack"
4092 ? 00:27:00 jackd
6248 ? 00:00:00 jackthompson

:(

Re:Friggin' Utah.

[jonaskoelker]

Holier-Than-Thou @&#%$%@s.

I think there's a parse error in your Perl.

Re:Jack Thompson

[sorak]

I always thought that you need to give up your soul and become undead to pass the bar.

Being disbarred is kind of like being rejected by Satan...

Note: IANAL :-0

Satan's HR: The thing about Jackie is that, at first, we thought he was evil. He was greedy, and slothful...He certainly went the extra mile, or didn't, whichever is good when your talking about sloth, well, that's what he did. And displaced anger, you betcha!

But, over time, we began to notice something. When the other kids were knocking over the candy machine, he would just put up a sign that read "Please don't knock me over. And if you see someone trying to knock me over, please don't watch". When our executives were trying to find ways to air American Idol in place of the evening news, he was asking if they contestants could sing the severe weather warnings.

Eventually, we realized, he isn't evil. He's just batshit crazy. And we are having none of that... If he wants to be batshit crazy, then he'll have to go to purgatory with the unbaptized babies and all the other crazies. So, we filled out a transfer request, and we're pretty sure he much happier there...Or not...Either way, it's not our problem.