Blizzard Shows Off Diablo III Archivist Class, WoW Dance-Off

It's been a busy day for the folks at Blizzard, who have released major announcements for several different games. The next Diablo III class has arrived: the Archivist. Despite their frail appearance and hunched, labored movement, they are quite deft at launching Quest Bolts at nearby foes, or conjuring a whirling Lore-nado of spinning books. Loud monsters can be silenced with a devastating Shush attack. Blizzard also put Starcraft II's latest unit on display, the Terra-Tron, which is a giant, robot uber-weapon assembled from the buildings in your base. Finally, for World of Warcraft they announced two features that have been requested by players for years: a battle of dances, where you can show off your avatar's hippest moves, and the ability to 'p1mp' your mounts. (Not sure exactly what that means, since I don't speak elvish, but there's a Nightsaber with a cannon — holy crap!)

WTF

[XPeter]

All this hype around D3 is getting on my nerves. If D3 comes out before SC2 I'm boycotting Blizzard games I understand SC2 has to be sports worthy but still...10+ years?

Re:Explains a lot

[Swizec]

Some of it sure looks like it took a legitimate amount of work, but why the fuck can't they spend the 20 minutes to make scrollwheels work with the dropdown selects on their website?

Seriously, I thought this was supposed to be a decent bunch of programmers.

Re:"Pimp your mounts"

[soren202]

Yeah, it was more like putting a cannon IN a horse.

Except without the "se".

Anyway, although the videos are rather impressive, Blizzard needs to put some more work in to the believability of their April Fools jokes.

For instance, a joke about how they're abandoning SC II because of bloating development costs and numerous unforeseen delays, or that Diablo III will cost $80 instead of the normal price due to the extended re-playability worked into the game would be gold.

This, however, will only get amusing responses from only the dimmest of readers, especially with that first announcement. It kind of ruins the point of April Fools day if everyone gets the joke right away. For it to be amusing, there has to be at least some potential change in emotion for readers once you reveal that it's a joke.

Fuck April Fools

[basementman]

Fuck these terrible April Fool's day articles. Slashdot, the rule is one prank a year on April 1st. Spamming the front pages with these shitty unfunny useless articles makes me wish Conficker had actually taken down the internet today.

New Starcraft Unit

[Korin43]

Am I the only one who wishes the Terra-tron was a real unit?

Re:Explains a lot

[Enderandrew]

Doesn't Diablo III play itself? Diablo I and Diablo II are technically the best selling computer RPGs of all time, though I use that term loosely. You just click, hope for random loot drops, and click some more. And now Diablo III, you don't drink potions because that is too complicated. So you just click, while mana and life basically auto-replenish. Clearly this was a game that needed to be even simpler.

Re:Explains a lot

[geekoid]

DO you think they give the real programming to web 'developers'?

But, I WANT IT

[dmomo]

How can you show us something awesome and then say "ha ha just kidding"? Jokes are meant for absurd things. This was just a cock tease.

Re:Fuck April Fools

[Anonymous Coward]

gbt/b/