Microsoft Seeks Patent On Shaming Fat Gamers 553
theodp writes "A newly disclosed Microsoft patent application — Avatar Individualized by Physical Characteristic — takes aim at fat people, proposing to generate fat avatars in gaming environments for individuals whose health records indicate they're overweight, limiting their game play, and even banning them. From the patent application: 'An undesirable body weight could be reflected in an overweight or underweight appearance for the avatar. Only requisite health levels are allowed to compete in a certain competition level. A dedicated gamer could exercise for a period of time until his health indicator gadget shows a sufficiently high health/health credit in order to allow reentering the avatar environment.' Linking one's gaming avatar to one's physique, explains Microsoft, will produce healthy and virtuous behaviors in individuals. Microsoft also proposes shaping gaming experiences by using 'psychological and demographic information such as education level, geographic location, age, sex, intelligence quotient, socioeconomic class, occupation, marital/relationship status, religious belief, political affiliation, etc.'"
Digital medical records (Score:5, Funny)
So THAT's why we're going to have digital medical records...
ooh, fun! a patent to tattoo "undesireables." (Score:5, Funny)
prior art exists, now Ballmer has to grow a stupid mustasche, chew carpets, and march on Poland.
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
HA! (Score:4, Funny)
Ha! I have been shaming and banning fat people for years now. Where is my patent?
Re:It's a Free Market (Score:5, Funny)
I can just imagine the slogan: "Escape your depressing real life into a matching world!"
Logging on...
"Our records show that you are an overweight high-school educated 36-year old mail in Akron, Ohio with below-average IQ, part-time employment at a Wal-Mart with an annual take-home of $16k who is a single Baptist Republican."
Creating avatar... done.
"Congratulations! Explore our virtual world with your new avatar -- an overweight, high-school educated 36-year old male with below-average IQ."
Your avatar will spawn in: Virtual Akron Ohio
You start with the following items: Bible, Pat Robertson DVD, "Going Rogue" by Sarah Palin
You start with: 0 gold
You earn: 7 gold per hour
For doing the following task: Checking groceries at the Virtual Akron Wal-Mart.
Pot, kettle, black. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Patent Office (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Brilliant (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft should also file for a patent on a method to lose money.
Windows Vista hasn't been patented yet?
Can I ? (Score:3, Funny)
Can I be the first to heap scorn on the fat kid in the photo.
You fat bastard, you fat bastard, you ate all the pie !
(And a bucket of chicken too by the look of it).
Why do people allow their kids to turn into such bloaters ? And don't give me any of that "oh it's genetic crap". There is no DNA strand that codes for "being a fat little piggy who Mommy overfeeds in the hope you'll amount to something more than your Father when you grow up".
I blame Mario ... come on, he eats pizza all day and has a right paunch on him too ... what kind of a roll model is that ? (Note the deliberate misspelling of roll, thats a pune or play on words, that is). And Sonic too, I mean he was so fat, after 5 seconds of running he starting rolling head over heels.
Re:You think this doesn't effect you (Score:5, Funny)
If Microsoft starts actually checking players appearance and gender
It’s okay... you can fool it with a picture of a vagina.
Re:Digital medical records (Score:5, Funny)
Why do you say that, fatty?
Re:Cool, the corporate nanny state. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:It's a Free Market (Score:3, Funny)
And you spend your spare time... playing a game as a virtual virtual wal-mart stocker.
Re:Prior art: Nintendo Wii Fit (Score:5, Funny)
Oh, I am pretty sure those two things are universally exclusive.
Re:And presumably all this will be done.... (Score:1, Funny)
But it'll still be stored on a FAT filesystem . . . or maybe it'll be ex-FAT [wikipedia.org], but only after the users trim down.
I like big butts and I cannot lie (Score:2, Funny)
Re:It's a Free Market (Score:5, Funny)
You earn: 7 gold per hour
For doing the following task: Checking groceries at the Virtual Akron Wal-Mart.
Not for long. I'm certain there are Chinese gamers who will do it for half that much.
Welcome to the long term unemployed quest!
Re:nazi-like (Score:4, Funny)
Re:It's a Free Market (Score:5, Funny)
I, on the other hand, am a 6'6" tall, bulging muscles on skeleton type of guy who has any woman I desire at any time, even when fighting off foes, a superb intellect and the sun shines out of my arse (ass for you yanks).
Now where's my avatar?
Butter Overflow Error (Score:4, Funny)
You computer will now display the Blueberry Ice Cream of Death.....
Re:It's a Free Market (Score:5, Funny)
According to your medical records, you are a compulsive liar. In order to protect the children, you will not be able to access our online community. If you persist in attempting to register, the FBI will be notified.
Re:It's a Free Market (Score:3, Funny)
Gee... I'm a Southern Baptist (who regularly attend church, Creationist, etc...), however; I neither care for Pat Robertson nor Sarah Palin.
In that case, you'll just have to evolve a sense of humour.
Oh, sorry.
Re:HA! (Score:1, Funny)
Ha! I have been shaming and banning fat people for years now. Where is my patent?
Prior Art, you should sue Microsoft...
Re:Prior art: Nintendo Wii Fit (Score:4, Funny)
Only if you're morbidly obtuse.
Re:It's a Free Market (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Prior art: Nintendo Wii Fit (Score:5, Funny)
Welcome to the Internet. I can see that this is your first time here.
There is so much for you to see and wish to unsee.
Re:Digital medical records (Score:3, Funny)
Or perhaps why it will succeed.
I tied with you for most contentless post.
Re:It's a Free Market (Score:4, Funny)
I, on the other hand, am a 6'6" tall, bulging muscles on skeleton type of guy who has any woman I desire at any time, even when fighting off foes, a superb intellect and the sun shines out of my arse (ass for you yanks).
Now where's my avatar?
Your avatar request is fully noted and your order parameters and pre-ship details appear below.
Many good lucks to you in your gaming! /snappy SALUTE!
Sincerely yours,
Orders@Aurora_Avatars.com
Order fulfillment details:
1. You are exceptionally well-built and can get laid all the time by any woman you desire.
2. Avatar Analysis Wizard results indicate that there are not enough women you desire to lay, and would prefer to fill your time role-playing in a game.
3. Your avatar is one with a chiseled face, piercing eyes, skin colored a near-perfect, brushed-metal bronze, a shock of thick, yet somehow simultaneously lithe and responsive, magnificent mane of hair - in short, nearly possessing the good looks of an Auroran (such as the the real-life appearance of the president and founder of Aurora Avatars).
4 The most outstanding feature of your new avatar is the letter on your forehead in hyper-glow, yellow-green-white, that eerily seems to almost float, retaining its holographic-like legibility regardless of how you turn your head.
(** Copyright claimed by me, as creator, for Aurora Avatars and all related trade names, and product descriptions)
Re:Digital medical records (Score:3, Funny)
I'd love to see someone in combat running around hopping like a rabbit wielding akimbo style shotguns, I'm sure that guy would make it home.
Re:It's a Free Market (Score:4, Funny)
Unless during your character's off-hours, you sign them up for this service to go play games. Wherein the character's character would then go work at the Virtual Virtual Akron Wal-Mart...
I can't wait (Score:4, Funny)
to see Stephen Hawking's avatar. I wonder if he gets a free mount.
Re:Its an american problem again. (Score:1, Funny)
There is lots of discrimination in turkey. Some people will only eat the white meat and some will only eat the dark.
But... (Score:4, Funny)
But Ballmer is damn fat as well. Why stop at games? They should deny access to all services for fat people, starting with HIM.
Re:ooh, fun! a patent to tattoo "undesireables." (Score:3, Funny)
prior art exists, now Ballmer has to chew carpets.
Hitler was a lesbian?
Re:Digital medical records (Score:2, Funny)