When PC Ports of Console Games Go Wrong 398
A post up at Gamasutra complains about the lack of effort put into the PC ports of some console games. The author picks on the unimpressively-reviewed Ninja Blade in particular: "Just as a quick guide to what we're dealing with here: when you create a new save file at the start of Ninja Blade on the PC, it warns you not to 'turn off your console.' Yes, Ninja Blade is one of those conversions: not so much converted as made to perfunctorily run on a different machine. In-game, you're asked to press A, B, X and Y in various sequences as part of Ninja Blade's extraordinary abundance of quick-time events. Whether you have an Xbox 360 pad plugged in or not, the game captions these button icons with text describing the PC equivalent controls. Only it doesn't always do that. Sometimes, you're left staring at a giant, pulsating, green letter A, and no idea what to do with it." What awful ports have you had the misfortune to experience?
Awful ports? (Score:4, Funny)
Hmm, let's see. USB is a bit of a turd sometimes...
*ducks*
Re:Worse than bad ports are bad translations (Score:2, Funny)
Or Zero Wing?
Re:Saints Row 2 (Score:1, Funny)
What the fuck is Saints Row 2 and why the fuck are you talking about it in here. We're discussing games, not pieces of shit.
Re:Worse than bad ports are bad translations (Score:5, Funny)
What you say?
Re:GTA IV! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Awful ports? (Score:5, Funny)
Ah USB, the only rectangular connector where you have to make 3 attempts before you get it the right way around.
Re:A few awful examples (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Worse than bad ports are bad translations (Score:3, Funny)
"Summon Lich" vs. "Summon Rich"
I always kinda liked that one, I imagined some guy named Rich in a Grim Reaper costume appearing to smite my enemies.
Re:The new Prince of Persia reboot. (Score:3, Funny)
and the fact that exclusives tend to be designed to run on hypothetical future computers from the year 2101
I loved Crysis, you insensitive clod!
The S is for Schroedinger (Score:5, Funny)
Obviously, the orientation of the USB cable is in a state of superposition until you make an observation, collapsing the quantum wave function to a single orientation, thus allowing it to fit....
Re:Worse than bad ports are bad translations (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Awful ports? (Score:2, Funny)
Try reading http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kama_Sutra [wikipedia.org]
That should help!
Re:The new Prince of Persia reboot. (Score:4, Funny)
The Netcraft meme is dying, Netcraft comfirms it.