Valve Delays Portal 2, Squashes Duke Nukem Rumors 135
SKYMTL writes "In a tongue-in-cheek commentary, Valve has announced the delay of Portal 2 and thrown water on the rumor fires regarding its E3 'surprise.' This surprise was rumored to be either Half-Life 3 or the revival of Duke Nukem, and it looks like neither will happen anytime soon."
Re:Noooooooooo (Score:1, Funny)
Well it needs to hurry up, that game is taking forever to happen.
Re:Eh... (Score:5, Funny)
MOD PARENT UP!! (Score:5, Funny)
+1 Insightful
I think we can by now (Score:4, Funny)
safely addapt Stephen Hawking's theory to this situation and state that laws of the universe conspire to prevent anybody ever actually finishing the development of Duke Nukem Forever.
True the evidence is purely anecdotal, but then the same goes for his original application of the concept to time machines so that's alright then.
Re:Eh... (Score:5, Funny)
Ostensibly whatever it is Valve is going to be revealing at E3 is going to be a game, a new game perhaps or something like that. Either way it's hard to get exited about.
OMG Sherlock, have you got inside info or something? ... wait for it, a video game. Man, you really got amazing inference skills!
You mean that what a game publisher company will reveal at an Electronic Entertainment Expo is
Now, that you do not get excited about that only means that you do not care about such type of entertainment; but hey, that's a completely different stories.
Re:I think we can by now (Score:5, Funny)
safely addapt Stephen Hawking's theory to this situation and state that laws of the universe conspire to prevent anybody ever actually finishing the development of Duke Nukem Forever.
True the evidence is purely anecdotal, but then the same goes for his original application of the concept to time machines so that's alright then.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
Re:Eh... (Score:5, Funny)
Man are you gonna look stupid when Valve releases the cure for cancer at E3 this year.
Re:Half-Life 3? (Score:5, Funny)
Personally, I'm interested in the narrative direction that Valve takes in Portal 2. The original's protagonist started as a relatively weak, essentially passive, woman, who only comes out of her introverted shell after much prodding by GLADOS. The sequel needs to go in a different direction, with an extroverted male protagonist. He should be a body builder, with a blond crew-cut, wearing aviator glasses, and smoking a cigar. You know, like this [ripten.com].
The metaphorical cake is a lie! (Score:1, Funny)
The metaphorical cake (duke nukem forever) is a lie!
Re:Half-Life 3? (Score:3, Funny)
You know, like this.
Why am I not surprised that there is a 404 error on the other side of that link?
Re:phew (Score:1, Funny)
crappy company like Valve
No list of arguments why Valve is a bad company? No personal attacks on Gabe Newell? You vaguely mention Steam, but don't even bother dedicating more than 10 words on why you think it's a bad system. Not even a rant on how bad your last experience with Steam was, angrily bashing your keyboard because 4 or 5 years ago you couldn't play Counterstrike one evening. Hell, you could even go on about the DRM, or how automatic patching ruined one of your savegames.
Back in the day, people put a lot more effort in trolling. So many missed opportunities. 0/10, would not read again
Re:Half-Life 3? (Score:5, Funny)
"I have come here to eat cake and kick ass, and I'm all outta cake."
Re:Eh... (Score:5, Funny)
I, for one, have it on so that I can come here and complain.
Now get off my lawn!
Re:Half-Life 3? (Score:5, Funny)
Obviously so they can focus effort on Linux (Score:3, Funny)
Hopefully they're delaying Portal 2 so they can dedicate their best and brightest to port Steam and all their Source games over to Linux by the end of this summer:
http://www.phoronix.com/scan.php?page=article&item=valve_steam_announcement&num=1 [phoronix.com]
I just sold my old gaming rig (Dual SMP Athlon XP-M + nVidia Geforce 6800GS), so if Valve pulls this off, I wouldn't need to buy a new Windows gaming machine to go alongside my Linux system (Dual core Athlon II + nVidia Geforce 8800GT), and would be happy to spend the money on new Steam games instead :-P
Yes, wistful thinking, I know :P
Re:So when my wife SMS'es me (Score:3, Funny)
I was always meaning to ask somebody about this situation. How do you keep your bear from destroying the basement? I can get mine to stay calm for a while, but eventually it gets pissed off and goes berserk on anything that happened to be in there. Once it even managed to get upstairs and ransack through the kitchen, eating everything I had prepared for dinner. Needless to say, it's a huge pain in the ass and I'm considering some drastic actions at this point, so any tips would be appreciated.
TIA
Re:Makes sense (Score:3, Funny)
A surprise is something people don't expect. Previous Portal 2 teaser material has shown that Valve fully expect the Internet to dissect everything it says and does. When they say "we've got a surprise for E3" they're either lying or it's something they know no-one could predict. HL2E3 and DNF are both eminently predictable and denying them doesn't make them any more surprising, so it's neither of those.
It will be something to do with Portal 2, a game which won't be released for another year, at least, so don't get too excited.
So you're saying that the announcement is a lie?
Re:Half-Life 3? ANDROID HELL! (Score:3, Funny)
Damn, if I knew I was getting a wish granted, I would have wished for a stripper factory!