Duke Nukem Forever Gets Delayed - Again 222
Posted
by
CmdrTaco
from the you-can't-make-this-up dept.
from the you-can't-make-this-up dept.
Blacklaw writes "Duke Nukem Forever, the game that turned into the industry's longest running joke as it entered development hell, has encountered one last delay to its launch."
i remember duke from childhood (Score:5, Funny)
Ah, memories from childhood. One day my friend told me he had found a kickass game from a BBS and asked if I wanted to go play it with him after school. He described it to me and I was already sold, but but... My mother Giovanna had told me to help my father at our family pizza place after school. Damn it!
School day became to end and I tried to consider my options, but there were none. I had to go help my papa make pizza. Frustraded, almost crying, I walked the streets of Naples back home. Every now and then I watched inside a window on the street and noticed someone playing on computer. I was thinking if that could be it, but I'd never know.
I decided to think for a moment. Like a good oven takes its time and peace to bake and finish a delicious pizza, my padre would wait for me. It was time to go see what the game was about.
And I was amazed. Great looking graphics, funny sounding man that I did not understand and girls with something on their chest that looked like doughnuts with a salami on top of it. It was truly marvelous.
While later serving customers at my fathers pizza place, I couldn't but think that I have to get a computer and this Duke Nukem 3D game. I mean, I loved baking pizza. But there is a time when a boy must choose between leisure and girls. But my father never got me a computer.
Like an overbaked pizza, my dreams were crushed when Duke Nukem Forever never came.
Re:i remember duke from childhood (Score:4, Funny)
Re:i remember duke from childhood (Score:5, Interesting)
It occurs to me that someone may not even have been in HS yet when the game was announced, graduated from HS, gotten a college degree, and could now be working on DNF.
Re:i remember duke from childhood (Score:5, Funny)
Mod parent Sad.
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DUKE NUKEM FOREVER RELEASE:
Delayed by the heat-death of the universe.
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And every time someone calls it DNF [thefreedictionary.com], I think Did Not Finish. I'm surprised they actually had the balls to announce a release date unless they were 110% sure they could hold it.
Duke Nukem Forever is for girls... (Score:4, Funny)
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Back when they first announced this game they hadn't even invented computers yet.
Re:i remember duke from childhood (Score:5, Funny)
Back when they first announced this game they hadn't even invented computers yet.
Yeah, it was somewhere in Leviticus, wasn't it? It had a big two-page spread and everything. That couldn't have been cheap, especially without any printing press.
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Yeah, it was somewhere in Leviticus, wasn't it?
Best. Bible Reference. Ever.
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I was in the 6th grade when the game was announced, and I now work in the video game industry with almost five years of experience. I could've been this hypothetical person.
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Something else to add: Half the people who will buy the game, were not even alive when the game was announced. The game idea is literally older than the customer base.
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Dude, if there's some kind of apocalypse, I kindly ask you to please share your pot.
Re:i remember duke from childhood (Score:5, Funny)
Re:i remember duke from childhood (Score:5, Funny)
So DNF is still among the remaining great "unsolved problems" of slashdot? Much like Hilbert and his famous list of math questions, this list echoes through the generations.
Solved
Releasing the code for slashdot (free slash!) DONE
Releasing Kevin Mitnick (free kevin!) DONE
Unresolved questions/problems
How to petrify Natalie Portman in an undressed state - UNSOLVED
Does it run Linux (default answer must be YES) - UNSOLVED
"Why were these stories rejected?" With a list of obscene article titles - UNSOLVED
The whereabouts of OOG THE CAVEMAN - UNSOLVED
The whereabouts of Jon Katz - UNSOLVED
The ultimate fate of the "slashdot cruiser" offered as a prize and never delivered - UNSOLVED
The assassination of "Signal 11" - NOT YET COMPLETED
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Or if you ever went to the bathroom because you were thirsty, kicked the toilet until the porcelain shattered, and drank the water spraying out, you might have played too much Duke Nukem.
My first post (Score:5, Funny)
was delayed again
WOW, they almost had me (Score:4, Funny)
Re:WOW, they almost had me (Score:5, Insightful)
I'd be willing to bet - not much, mind you, but willing - that they did this not because of any technical glitch, or anything like that, but rather, for the humour and irony in delaying the game yet again, when it's actually finished.
After all, it's Duke Nukem Forever. It can't possibly be released without a delay, right?
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If I had to guess, it's to remove the part of the game where you slap the woman around. They've gotten a lot of negative publicity for that recently.
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And there's that controversial part of CoD... [penny-arcade.com]
Re:WOW, they almost had me (Score:4, Insightful)
Oh hell I agree with you. I think it's stupid that there's controversy over it. Reminds me of the GTA Hot Coffee crap. A game where you're a serial killer running around getting hookers (and killing them), running from cops (and killing them) and robbing people (and killing them) is just fine, but if you have sex with your girlfriend it's the *Antichrist!* and must be *censored!* and *burned!*
American attitudes toward media content are about as stupid as it gets.
obligatory... (Score:3, Funny)
fool me won't get fooled again?
Thanks for the notice... I almost unpacked my P233 (Score:5, Funny)
When it was originally announced in 1997, I immediately went out and bought a state of the art Pentium 233 with 4MB RAM and a humongous 1GB hard drive.... it's sitting there waiting...waiting ....
Hopefully it still runs on MS Windows 3.11
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Hopefully it still runs on MS Windows 3.11
You mean MS-DOS 6.2, right? And not that 6.22 crap either. (Dblspace ftw!)
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Dblspace? Thats just a dodgy copy of Stacker technology!
I remember DOS 4.01 - buggier than an ants nest :-)
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Dblspace? Thats just a dodgy copy of Stacker technology!
Maybe so, but at least it came with the OS. Fond memories of converting 1.44MB floppies into ~2.8MB disks...
OMG 2.8MB that's huuuge! o.O
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3.3 was the best ever IIRC
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Yes, yes it was.
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'cept for that pesky 32mb partition size limit.
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Stacker!
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Cthuga Rocked. Or at least it was faster on a 486 than winamp visualizations..... Thanks for the memory. And making me feel old...
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Re:Thanks for the notice... I almost unpacked my P (Score:4, Informative)
>>>When it was originally announced in 1997... Hopefully it still runs on MS Windows 3.11
Your timing is a little off. The state-of-the-art in 1997 was:
Windows 95 or NT 4.x
Nintendo64 or PS1 or Sega Saturn
I figure by the time Duke Nukem Forever arrives, it will have graphics no better than an N64 or DS.
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Belial writes,
Wow, that kind of comment makes his claims about mod stalking sound legitimate.
Anon.Coward writes:
Oh, I see. Another sock puppet to add to my list of puppets.
Thanks for providing the proof to legitimize Belial's comment. You and several others ARE stalking me (apparently via 4chan's forum), and modding down all my posts -1.
You'll need to upgrade (Score:3)
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....or RIVA128 / TNT I loved those cards :)
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Don't forget S3 Virge! THE card for playing 3D video games!
Re:Thanks for the notice... I almost unpacked my P (Score:4, Informative)
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I think he meant to say Pentium 133 - but even then, 16MB was standard.
Unless he meant 4MB of video RAM?
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Man, I thought I was the MAN when I got my 4 MB video card. I think that was around the Starship Troopers/Tyrian days, now those were some graphics.
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Pentium 233 MMX was released in June of '97 [wikipedia.org]. Most of us had upgraded to 95 SE 2 by then. ;)
old news (Score:5, Funny)
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But seriously, I hope they 'accidentally' delay things again and copies of the game just magically rain from the sky like on June 20th.
Of course. (Score:5, Funny)
You didn't realize that Slashdot was launched by Taco et al for the sole purpose of tracking Nukem's release cycle?
They started posting other stories as fillers.
Re:Of course. (Score:5, Funny)
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This is the saddest thing I've ever read, and it's only 8:30.
To give them the benefit of the doubt .... (Score:5, Funny)
Maybe their CD printer is in Japan?
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Too soon, Executus!
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If we can't laugh about it what else are we supposed to do?
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You know, laughing is a much better alternative than crying. DO IT.
Indeed... (Score:3, Funny)
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At this point Duke is so old that he's going to need Viagra if he's going to come at all.
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Hmm. That's a game idea... An old geezer who (kinda like Popeye) becomes super when he takes his Viagra. Comedy gold! :D
Extra points when you whack the villain with your pole!
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The Chronicles of Hefner?
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I like it! :D
or, Hustler's revenge! (What was that guy's name - founded Hustler, got shot and wheelchair bound.)
Use a design inspired by R.Crumb. :)
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Oxygen Tank Larry in the Land of the Retirement Villages
Duke3D Now (Score:2)
Re:Duke3D Now (Score:5, Informative)
Or you could just use your purchased copy's map files with something like JFDuke3D [jonof.id.au], which even includes an OpenGL renderer created by the same guy who wrote the Duke3D Build game engine.
As I recall, this port natively supports TCP/IP.
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For the record, if you're 18–20, and in the US military, you can drink alcohol in those establishments on military property which serve it.
Yeah, it's had a lot of "one last" delays (Score:4, Funny)
I'm telling you, this is whole "We're releasing Duke Nuke'Em Forever" thing is just a very elaborate April Fools Day joke from Gearbox.
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Ecch, that reminds me ... must not visit Slashdot next Friday ... that pink "OMG Ponies" color scheme is just evil.
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April 1st is definitely an awful day on /. each year. It's a reverse Christmas of sorts. It's like watching the worst comedian in the world cracking horrifically lame jokes for 24-hours straight.
Bill Gates Announces That He's a Butthole [snicker]
Duke Nukem Forever Delayed - For the first time (Score:4, Insightful)
Thecnically, there was never a release date before the game was handed over to Gearbox, so it had never suffered any delay before this one.
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And technically, my H came too early.
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promises (Score:3)
I wouldn't be surprised if they had planned to announce one more delay from the start... At this point, it'd almost be a shame to actually ship on the date promised.
Doesn't seem to be a joke (Score:2)
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Game releases are often on Tuesday, but it's not like it's some sort of law. Games do come out on other days of the week.
Hell, Nintendo releases games on Sundays.
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It sounds like a deliberate publicity stunt to me. This way the release gets covered twice.
It's good that they delayed it (Score:4, Funny)
I mean, a hasty release wouldn't be good for the quality, right?
Delayed? (Score:3)
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That video is great, they're successfully playing it up themselves. "Why am I the last person to find out about these things? This is BS!"
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I doubt it's a publicity stunt. If I were to hazard a guess, I would say that they were a bit nervous about the feedback they got when they let the gaming press loose on the game last month.
The feedback was by no means universally negative - it was clear that a lot of the journos really, really wanted to like the game (as do I). Besides, previews in this industry (as in most other entertainment industries) tend to focus on the positive. However, there were quite a few coded (and sometimes not so coded) cave
People! (Score:5, Funny)
What part of FOREVER don't you understand?!
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-CF
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The same part as Final that Fantasy doesn't understand?
At least (Score:2, Funny)
Punch Line (Score:2)
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Gee, that makes me wonder if the Large Hadron Collider might be somehow behind it.
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So it will get delayed until December 29, 2012?
Forever... (Score:2)
Reassuring (Score:2)
This is actually incredibly reassuring. Duke Nukem Forever being due out "soon" has been one of those things that has stayed constant since teenage years, while so much else about the world has changed! If it gets released, I'm not sure how I will deal with that. Truly it will be the end of an era. It will go from being a new game, to an old game, to being "retro", in the relative blink of an eye. But in my heart it will still be vapourware.
Give the Mayans credit... (Score:2)
Thanks! (Score:3)
What with the earthquake, tsunami, and nuclear disaster in Japan, the bombing of yet another country, and all else that is wrong with the world right now, this delay helps comfort me and feel like there are some things that we can always count on. Bless you, DNF team.
Pre-order?!?! (Score:2)
Last? (Score:2)
"One last delay"? Really, Slashdot?
WTF?!? (Score:2)
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Yeah, but there are probably 3 people who preordered today for everyone who cancels their preorder.
a simple reason for the delay (Score:3)
Will I need Kali to play multiplayer? (Score:2)
After all, I payed 10$ in order to play multipler games over tcp/ip.
One LAST delay? Last? Seriously? (Score:2)