Microsoft Reputation Manager's Guide To Xbox One 611
symbolset writes "In the wake of a disastrous E3 product reveal Microsoft has purportedly distributed a confidential internal 100-point 'FAQ' for the Xbox One that reads like it's from the Ministry of Truth. It was of course immediately leaked on pastebin. Kotaku has the story and an amusing online poll. In the discussion below make sure to line up the FAQ entries with the AC comments for extra 'Informative' moderation."
Damage control (Score:5, Insightful)
This just in: The XBone One has managed to achieve what the Dreamcast couldn't... blowing up prior to launch. The Dreamcast at least fired the engines before exploding in a firey storm of shit. Which, given that their customers seem to be EA games and other publishers, and not, you know, people who are going to buy the console... seems about right.
There are Kickstarter consoles still on the drawing board, I mean, not even prototypes available yet, that have more pre-orders than the XBone. I don't think they could fail harder. Unless (dramatic pause) ... they bring Square Enix to headline this collossal cluster f*ck.
Spin it all you like guys ... (Score:5, Insightful)
For some of us, you've already lost the sale. Always on internet is a killer for many of us, since it's mostly taking away our freedom.
Fuck Xbox One.
Beware Internet Echo Chambers (Score:5, Insightful)
Herp Derp Derp (Score:5, Insightful)
Q: What exclusive first-party games are in development, and when will we see them?
A: None. Despite bending our customers over a barrel and raping them until they bled and screamed for mercy with our new DRM, we don't have a single exclusive to show for it.
Q: How many games do you plan to ship at launch?
A: We got a lot of promises, but the warehouse is presently, uhh, a bit vacant.
Q: What is the new Xbox Live?
A: For game publishers, it's the second coming of Christ, the ressurection, the moment we've been waiting for, beating ourselves off to in private fantasizing over. For game players, it's an unholy cluster fuck that makes Square Enix scorched Earth policy on every franchise you ever loved look positively humane.
Q: What new benefits does Xbox Live offer?
A: The new generation of Xbox Live gets to know you and your preferences, by watching you 24/7 through a webcam that cannot be turned off, and puts you at the center of all your games and entertainment, and then builds a giant 20 foot thick concrete wall between you and all your friends who you can't share any of it with without an extra fee. It will make sure your Xbox is always up to date and ready for you, like meeting every ex you ever had at a party, who then stalk you for the next year, posting comments on your Facebook about what a whore you were, and a cheater -- that gaming is better with smart, quick and intuitive multiplayer, unlike everything else on the market which can accomplish this basic feat without spying on you, whoring away your personal viewing habits, and knowing exactly when you're about to climax on the couch to post that new advertisement for Buxom Babes 7, backed by the new Smart Match system -- which is just like online dating, only creepier. It adds even more personalization to your TV and entertainment, because what's more entertaining and personal than sitting alone, in your basement, your friends unable to join you to play without paying an extra fee? Nothing, that's what! With the evolved Xbox Live, your games and profile are stored in the cloud, so you can access them from any Xbox One console, and we'd appreciate it a lot if you'd forget about what we've done with Sidekick, and every other Cloud platform we've absorbed like some Doctor Who alien, only with less wit and British charm.... this time will be different. We Promise(tm).
Q: I saw reports stating friends will be unlimited and reports saying the cap is 1,000. Which is correct?
A: We're excited to report it's the lower of the two, which shouldn't discourage you in any way... because we've tried very hard to match the same low standards that are already present in the industry with our next generation console!
Q: Do I have to pay to access Xbox Live?
A: No. We'll just be collecting your personal viewing habits and selling them to the lowest bidder.
Re:Damage control (Score:5, Insightful)
There are Kickstarter consoles still on the drawing board, I mean, not even prototypes available yet, that have more pre-orders than the XBone. I don't think they could fail harder. Unless (dramatic pause) ... they bring Square Enix to headline this collossal cluster f*ck.
\
Citation badly needed.
Re:Beware Internet Echo Chambers (Score:4, Insightful)
Remember the rage around here a few years back when Sony nixed Linux on PS3. Or the whole "rootkit fiasco"? Amazing how quickly past outrage is forgotten.
There's incompetence, and then there's monumental epic cluster fuck moments of total and abject negligence like this. Sony throwing root kits onto CDs and nixing Linux on the PS3 were just bad decisions. Dumb decisions. The development of the XBone makes that look like someone flushing a cherry bomb down the toilet compared to a FAE.
This isn't normal stupid... this is weapons grade stupid.
Re:Missing question (Score:2, Insightful)
The iPad costs the same, and you can't run your software on it.
I don't see what the price has to do with that.
Re:Beware Internet Echo Chambers (Score:4, Insightful)
Just think about how many people is affected by the removal of OtherOS, and how many by the 24 hour authentication.
Re:Beware Internet Echo Chambers (Score:4, Insightful)
Sony may have screwed up in the past, but they also generated a metric fuckton of goodwill at E3. That press conference was a marvel of modern brand messaging. It convinced a lot of people not at all interested in this generation of console, myself included, to seriously consider a PS4.
There's principle, and there's bloody-mindedness for the sake of itself. It's okay to change your mind.
Re:Beware Internet Echo Chambers (Score:5, Insightful)
Let me see it I got that right: Sonny p0wing your computer is just stupid, but MS making an always online console is weapons grade stupid? I got that right?
Also, why does nobody remember the "always on" feature of the MS Teleprompt?
Re:Damage control (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Damage control (Score:5, Insightful)
Must connect to the internet once a day or locks you out, extreme limitations on lending or buying used games, etc. An excellent reason to play Steam games under Linux overall.
Normally I'd snark this, but I got nothing. I mean, I'm just bone dry here. It's so stupidifying that I think it may have temporarily caused my brain to seize up like an old VW bug.
Re:Missing question (Score:5, Insightful)
101. Since I would have to pay 500$ for it, will I be able to run my own software on the Xbox One?
Today Microsoft Studios and the world's biggest and most renowned publishers, including 343 Industries, Crytek, Turn 10 Studios, Capcom and Insomniac Games, unveiled their blockbuster games lineup for Xbox One, with more exclusive titles than at any time in the history of Xbox. We're excited to share more about our complete launch portfolio over the coming weeks and months.
101. Since I would have to pay 500$ for it, will I be able to run my own software on the Xbox One?
Similar to Xbox 360, Xbox Live on Xbox One is free to any system owner with a broadband Internet connection and includes access to a robust catalog of gaming content on Xbox Marketplace and personal profiles.
101. Since I would have to pay 500$ for it, will I be able to run my own software on the Xbox One?
We're in continued discussions with a broad set of content providers and owners but we don't have anything to announce at this time.
101. Since I would have to pay 500$ for it, will I be able to run my own software on the Xbox One?
I exorcise thee, every unclean spirit, in the name of Ballmer the Father, and in the name of Microsoft, our lord and judge, and in the power of the Holy Console, that thou depart from this creature of Consumer which our Lord has designed to call unto his Holy temple. I cast out you noxious vermin, through the same Christ our Lord, who shall come to judge the living and the dead, and the world by fire.
Re:Damage control (Score:5, Insightful)
A couple million military members and contractors do care about that. Phone home once a day? Hardcore region locked? Always on microphone? Not happening.
Re:Damage control (Score:3, Insightful)
Citation badly needed.
Well, since you were a bit non-specific on what you're feeling butthurt about, I'll have to guess...Holy shit, a console made out of spare parts still has a better rep than the Xbone [kickstarter.com]. Allows you to run your own software. Costs $99. 63,000 pre-orders. Meanwhile, at Microsoft HQ... "There aren't any official numbers..." (troll face)
Where are the hard numbers from Sony on PS4 sales? According to your logic, that must mean the Ouya has a "better rep" and more orders than the PS4, right?
Re:Beware Internet Echo Chambers (Score:4, Insightful)
Let me see it I got that right: Sonny p0wing your computer is just stupid, but MS making an always online console is weapons grade stupid? I got that right?
Sony got found out pretty early on there, bud. See, that's the awesome part about even the partly open systems of the Windows world. You can't hide your dirty laundry for long.. and let's be honest: There's people out there far better than Sony at this. It was amateur hour, okay? This was a middle manager telling his engineers to make this happen "or else", and not much more thought put into it than that, because he read in a trade show mag somewhere it was his duty to defend the company from the evil pirates by any means necessary, ethics be damned. And the poor bastard fell into that pit trap and took the whole company's public reputation with him.
It was stupid, ill-thought out, and poorly executed.
Now on the other side, we have the XBone... it's watching you like some creepy stalker, while you undress, while you watch TV.. recording everything you do... it makes the NSA's capturing of your phone's "meta data" look positively germane. I mean, they're making no bones about the XBone's objective here: It's to hoover-vac every last shred of privacy you ever had and sell it to the highest bidder.
This was deliberate, well thought out, well-funded, and the only thing that was poorly executed here was the public relations. They've come out looking like some lovecraftian horror beast about to be sent back into the deep by Johnny Depp wearing a pirate hat... They served their asses on a silver platter. But no... there is no contest here man. Not. Even. Fucking. Close.
Re:Spin it all you like guys ... (Score:4, Insightful)
You pretty much make the point why the XBone should be avoided when you said "It won't prevent me from playing as often as I like as long as the servers are always working..."
I'm happy to pay $100 more for the new Kinect
I'm not! $100 just so I can wave my hand to switch channels?
Re:Damage control (Score:5, Insightful)
do you really think anybody cares about the limitations?
Yes. If it was so different and awesome in architecture that it delivered really innovative stuff then this might be OK. But it uses the same processor, slower RAM, more RAM reserved for OS, slower GPU. The hardware is in every way equal or worse - so the software and terms must be better to compensate - and they aren't.
Re:Economies of scale (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Economies of scale (Score:5, Insightful)
But without the phoning home requirement, you'd get some of those millions of "ruralites" to buy an XBox One.
Re:Damage control (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:Spin it all you like guys ... (Score:5, Insightful)
And what a great time, coincidentally, for there to be a renaissance in PC gaming.
Now having had a peek at the next-gen consoles, I realize I've never been happier about being a PC gamer.
Re:Spin it all you like guys ... (Score:4, Insightful)
PlaysForSure
Re: Economies of scale (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Spin it all you like guys ... (Score:5, Insightful)
This, THIS, THIS is why I have a problem with Internet-based DRM. It creates an artificial lifetime on a product where there doesn't need to be one. The ability to run the product is tied to the ability to authenticate against a server somewhere, which introduces so many points of failure (your net connection, the state of the remote server, the state of your account, etc).
If the product is considered out of maintenance and the authentication servers are taken offline, you're fucked. The vendor MIGHT patch out the requirement for authentication later (if they haven't disappeared entirely), but there's no guarantee they will, compared to something without DRM in which you don't have any need for stress in the first place.
Going towards an increasing level of restriction of consumer rights and a locking-up of software is not something we should be supporting. But a lot of people do, either because they're ignorant of the long term ramifications or simply because they don't give a shit.
The biggest problem I have is that there are a LOT of people who are defending these restrictions with the Xbone for some reason, and I doubt they're all Microsoft shills. Some are fanboys, while others don't see the point of pushing back against aggressive companies. Heck, there's an editorial on Neowin where the author suggests we shouldn't be worried about the privacy issues with the always-on Kinect as we don't have any expectation of privacy anymore. In his words we should just "suck it up and get used to it". How fucked up is that?
Re:Damage control (Score:4, Insightful)
Lots of people are pissed about not being able to freely trade games.
Lots of people are pissed about being required to get online once every 24 hours.
Of course even with all that there's still going to be plenty of people buying the Xbox, it's not going to be anywhere near the disaster that the Internet Armchair Quarterback Brigade are calling it, though I don't think there's any chance of the PS4 not having a better launch. Myself I don't really care about those, but I've recently reconsidered my gaming in general and decided to focus on the PC more. I'll evaluate the consoles in a year or two and see which one is the better deal. Most particularly I'm going to be looking for whether Gran Turismo 6 is even out, and if it is if it can compare to Forza 5.
Re:Economies of scale (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Damage control (Score:5, Insightful)
The reason why he said that is because Steam is far from a good thing. It is cool it provides a digital library with downloadable games. It is bad that you have to run Steam in order to play the game that you have already paid. It is bad that games are ridden with DRM. Sure, that might be a sign of times to come but for people that grew up playing games the old fashioned way, we clearly see that as a disadvantage instead of some revolutionary system.
Re:Spin it all you like guys ... (Score:3, Insightful)
Kinect is a gimmick like it always have been. I understand why people give away their privacy for something like Google products or Facebook, because at least they are getting something for free. But you are paying for this device and you are perfectly happy with them capturing marketing data off of you. Besides, you know perfectly well that both the XBox and the PS are pretty much the same thing. But hey, fighting for consumer rights does not work if there is people that will say, bah it does not affect me today and then complain when it's too late in the future.
Re:Damage control (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Spin it all you like guys ... (Score:5, Insightful)
Hilarious. Yeah, sounds good at first glance. But check other news stories -- Microsoft shares data and access with government. A 24h license thing is there to encourage people to leave their machines always on and always connected. I wonder what the motivation for that could possibly be? What is the practical rationale behind that if it is something completely unrelated to spying? Freedom to push updates with their constantly changing ToS?
Look, if you're willing to give up so much, could you help a brother out? Throw a bit of what you're throwing out the window in my direction.
Re:Herp Derp Derp (Score:4, Insightful)
On that note, I'm conflicted about this generation of consoles. I skipped the last generation entirely and was hoping update my aging PS2, but I certainly won't abide an always on type requirement. That leaves Sony's offering, but with their history I can't trust that they change their policy in a year or two after they eat Microsoft's lunch.
What this means for me, and I'm sure quite a few other people, is that I'm going to delay purchasing any console until the water looks less muddied. Or not. I already have a perfectly capable PC. If the console manufacturers can't make their experience easier and more convenient than a PC in the livingroom, well, why even use a console?
Re:Damage control (Score:3, Insightful)
I care about things like buying a game on my account on my console in the den and letting another family member play it on their account on my other console in the home theater, without incurring a $10 fee or having to re-buy the entire game. The "ten family members" thing is a bullshit solution that I do not accept. It needs to be tied to my hardware, which they know is mine because I register it with serial number on xbox.com. Then, anyone should be able to play the game in my home, whether it's ten people or fifty.
And, of course, phoning home absolutely matters when your internet is out. Or if you have a machine somewhere in your home that isn't connected. Or you are taking it with you to a cabin on vacation or something.
Frankly, it doesn't matter why or when you might do these things. As the customer, it is our obligation to say what we want and the company's job to provide it. It isn't my job to justify why I don't want to deal with their bullshit which in no way benefits the customer.
Re: Damage control (Score:5, Insightful)
The big problem problem that new consoles are fighting for is: a reason to exist. Most games demo-ed so far look possible on the current generation of hardware. Crowd sources AI is an interesting twist, but possible on current consoles. Killer Instinct is an odd thing to revive, but it would play just as well on a PS3.
Suddenly Microsoft comes out with a console that:
1. Phones home every day.
2. Bans game lending.
3. Possibly cripples the used game market, or maybe not, nobody is really sure.
4. Requires Kinect to be always on, because that wasn't a disaapointment.
Their sales pitch of "You can play games that are basically last-gen games, but with fewer rights" has had shocking trouble resonating with consumers.
Re:Economies of scale (Score:4, Insightful)
You don't get the point of his message: if you aren't urban, fuck off.
Suburbanites and ruralites aren't numerous enough to move Microsoft's needle. So fuck off.
Does it need to be more clear? Fuck the fuck off? Go away? You're not needed here?
Re: Damage control (Score:2, Insightful)
It was a lowest level support rep on twitter versus the Director of Programming for the Xbox. Who was likely to have got confused
The way Microsoft operates, most likely both.
Re:Damage control (Score:3, Insightful)
Citation needed about that.
The Kinect is required because they want to encourage game devs to use the Kinect. If it were optional, developers may skip using some features since they may not be available. I don't see how it won't work if cam is obstructed.
More realistically... (Score:5, Insightful)
The Xbone will do ok in the US. That's its home market, there's always a degree of "patriotic" buying (though not to the same extent as in Japan) and, like them or not, some of the 360's exclusive franchises still have a lot of market power. There are people who will buy an Xbone for Halo. The overlap between those people and "people who read slashdot" is probably quite small.
Will the Xbone do as well in the US as the 360 has (where the sales data shows it's the dominant console)? Probably not, at least on the basis of what we've seen so far. Sony's given the "floating voters" with no strong attachment to either camp a lot of reasons to go in the PS4 direction this time. But the Xbox series has a lot of loyal fans in the US and most of them will still be hanging on.
The danger for MS lies outside of the US. Ok, it's never managed to get the Xbox to succeed in Japan. So it's probably fair that it doesn't put too many resources into trying this time around (you'll never get away from the fact that the demographic profile of gamers looks very, very different in Japan and is much less interested in those games we consider "mainstream" in the West).
But Europe? Europe was in many ways the key swing battleground of the 360/PS3 generation and didn't really commit strongly to either camp. There's no "domestic" console, so no "patriotic buying" effect; in short, there's everything to play for. But MS seem to have decided not to play.
The TV offerings (which won't even be available in many territories to start with) aren't exactly tempting in Europe. I've had to sort out phone/tv/broadband packages in the UK, Belgium and the US in the last couple of years and can hand-on-heart say that you can get a decent TV package much more cheaply and easily in Europe these days. Sky or Virgin Media vs Comcast? It's not even close. MS is facing much tougher competition to take over from the existing TV providers.
The competition in Europe is, therefore, much more likely to be about being the better machine for games. Sony's messaging so far has been "games, games, games". I'm not really sure that Halo has more potency as a brand than Resistance, or that Gears of War is more potent than Killzone in Europe.
Then there are the emerging markets. The parts of the world that don't buy many consoles right now, but which might conceivably start to buy a lot more over the course of the next few years. These are also places where the 24-hour-dial-home restriction is likely to be a serious deterrent.
If MS doesn't do some urgent damage limitation, the Xbone runs a serious risk of ending up as a single-territory console.
Re:Damage control (Score:4, Insightful)
Well, except for the fact that they've stated that they will release an unlock if at all possible if the company ever goes out of business. And the fact that Steam DRM is ridiculously easy to crack and they have not made any real effort to improve it except from the multiplayer security aspect. Which is almost certainly because they both know that stopping pirates is ineffectual and it will allow people to continue playing games if anything catastrophic happens to Valve.
Re:Damage control (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:More realistically... (Score:4, Insightful)
Many gamers are kids. They have limited income, there is only so much MS and publishers can bleed them. They buy a lot of second hand games and always trade in the ones they finish. Those kids will be buying a PS4.
Some people will just put up with it and shell out the cash. Some people don't have that choice.