The Ultimate Anti-Action Online Game: Waiting In Line 3D 94
Freshly Exhumed writes "Looking a lot like the venerable Wolfenstein 3D or similar Id action games of the DOS days, the new online game Waiting in Line 3D was released Monday by developer Rajeev Basu, and was played 50,000 times in its first 24 hours of activity... er... inactivity. Is the complete lack of any action a brilliant satire of computer gaming? Is it software-based performance art? Is it silly? Judge for yourself, if you can meet the challenge!" Now's a good time to confess if you spent a major portion of your post-Thanksgiving dinner recovery time camped out in line for some of those Black Friday come-ons.
EA planning a patent lawsuit ... (Score:5, Funny)
EA are ready to sue the creator of "Waiting in Line 3D".
A spokesman said "It copies key gameplay elements of hit EA titles such as Sim City, where much of the excitement can be derived from queuing endlessly to connect to a server so that they can play. We will rigorously defend our patent, so that our customers can look forward to the unique EA queuing experience in all our future titles."
Comment removed (Score:2, Funny)
Healthcare.gov? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Better than BF4 (NT) (Score:4, Funny)
Re:It's not different from other modern games (Score:5, Funny)
Agreed... it's even both to both handhold AND let people explore and still fuck up the game experience by doing so:
Just bought Skyrim because everyone's always on about how great a game it is and I could get it for free by selling some accumulated Steam junk. Should be good enough to play now, given that I bought all the DLC and it's been patched for ages, etc.
My impression of my first gameplay is:
Okay. Let me move around. No seriously. Just let me stand up then. Or do something. Fine. Cutscene. Cutscene. Cutscene. I'll sit here like an idiot as I head towards certain death. (Cue five minutes in the options trying to turn the audio volume up or the subtitles on at least). Ah, great, I can finally move. Oh. All of six feet until then I'm put on the execution block. Fabulous. Cutscene. Cutscene. Miraculous rescue that I played no part in despite sitting behind a guard with three other prisoners who wanted to escape, with the physical ability to strangle him, for the last 10 minutes.
Right, okay, dragon chasing us, let's run. Apart from that guy, apparently. Who just waits while I catch him up. Wonder how long I can wait until he does something. Oh. Forever, apparently. Right fine. Run 100 yards. Wait for him to talk. Run 100 yards. Wait. Run 100 yards. Wait. And now he's behind me and won't move. Fabulous. Fuck it, I'll just wander off. Trip over an arrow. I kid you not. Repeatedly. Can't get off the damn thing. Eventually manage to stand up without falling over. Run to the next bit of the village.
Okay, somehow he's mysteriously caught me up. Right, grabbed a weapon, have a quick fight (which consisted of pressing the mouse button three times), raid the body, chase up a tower. No. Blocked. Wander around for several minutes. Now I have to go back outside, apparently, because so many people were talking I couldn't work it out. Quick fight. Now back into the 100m relay race again.
Into some caves. Two or three fights. Pick up EVERY object known to man while people talk to me like there's nothing wrong with carrying 20 baskets and 15 buckets along with a ton of armour. Finally get weighed down, dump it all on the floor and kit myself up with proper weapons. Lockpick everything in sight and take anything I don't already have. Follow guy who's been waiting patiently and silently for me to catch him up. Kill bear because I'll be fucked if I'm sneaking past something that big (two clicks from a safe distance). Take bear pelt and claws as souvenir. 100m relay for another minute or so, where he gets lost and keeps running backwards and saying things to me while I'm out of earshot (probably important, but nothing I could do about it). Ignore him and carry on regardless. Bang, he teleports in front of me after a while.
Run along road with him. Kill wolf. Ignore everything he says because it's too much chatter to wait for and nothing much else is happening. Accompany him even though he wanted me to split up. A minute later, he's "so glad" we didn't split up. Fabulous. Several miles of the 100m relay again. Get to a town. Sodding tons of people, everyone wants to talk to me. Spend 20 minutes working for a blacksmith while his daughter bugs the crap out of me. End up being rewarded with a worse weapon than I'd just sold him ten minutes before. Cheap bastard. Find the bloke in a house, steal all his food and kill his friend (who got angry when I stole his food). He does nothing, neither does his wife who I slaughtered him in front of (and stole his boots), who just says how terrible it is that he's dead.
Wander into everyone's homes late at night and they don't say a word. Resist temptation to steal all their furniture (which is apparently quite possible). Try to chat one of the women up but apparently her vocabulary descends into a single line over time. Break into random houses and steal all their food, then sell it to the blacksmith. Find the map, find the big town people keep hinting towards, run in straight line to it (through rivers and over mountains because it's quicke
Online Guide? (Score:5, Funny)
Is there a standthrough for this available?