How Microsoft Tried To Buy Nintendo

An anonymous reader submits: "A new book, Opening the Xbox: Inside Microsoft's Plan to Unleash an Entertainment Revolution discusses Microsoft's plans to buy Nintendo for $25 billion in late 1999. By January 2000 however, talks dissolved and each company went their seperate way. Makes you wonder how the home entertainment industry would be different if they had gone through with it. Stories are at Gamers and Cube Europe."

What would have happened?

[Devil's BSD]

On the plus side, Im just glad we dont have to use X-Cubes. On the negative, it would have been an uncommon sight of an American company taking over a Japanese one.

Re:I don't think much would have changed....

[Ibjr]

But it would be ironic, because the bastard child spawn from such a deal would run on the PPC chip :)

Crashes

[SiIverFish]

Now when your gamecube crashes, there is no blue screen of death, just Maro popping up saying "Mama-mea, iv'e crashed AGAIN"

I can see it now...

[Anonymous Coward]

MSNES

Nintendo franchised reimagined by Microsoft...

[Navius Eurisko]

Super Mario Bros: "Hey, kids, itsa Mario! I wanna taka some time from da game, to tell you about the dangers of competition in da OS market. If da 9 US states of Bowser have their way, competition will enter da OS market and Yoshi willa die! Mama Mia!"

Pokemon: "Picachoo just evolved into the most stable, user friendly, Pokemon ever: XPachoo!"

Legend of Zelda: "Link, Hyrule can only be saved from the evil free office suite spread by Ganon by gathering the three pieces of Mircosoft Office to form the triad!"

Other Codenames Considered....

[shr3k]

The fact that the initial code name was Project Midway -- they don't want the Japanese people to know that because it will hurt their feelings."

Well, it could have been worse. Project Hiroshima anyone? It will obliterate the competition!

Re:Typical M$

[Anonymous Coward]

If you can't beat 'em, buy 'em.

Reminds me of the Simpson's episode where Homer offers Internet access.

Pikachu for MS Office

[famazza]

If MS had bought Nintendo then Pikachu could be an MS Office Assistent.

THAT would be cool.

Whew!

[phillymjs]

Thank God this deal didn't go through. The combined evil of Microsoft and Nintendo would have reached critical mass, collapsed inward on itself and formed a black hole that would surely have destroyed us all.

Years ago, after reading about all the shifty crap that Nintendo pulled in this book [amazon.com], I started thinking of them as the Microsoft of Japan. Price fixing, exclusivity deals with retailers to lock out competitors, the lockout chip feature in their carts, lots of different stuff. Nintendo and Microsoft already have a lot of similar pages in their respective playbooks.

Microsoft was probably salivating at the thought of having a viselike grip on people's lives from the time they fire up their first video game as a kid, until the final time they turn off their PC before going on to die in their sleep later that night. Luckily for us, the X-Box is proving to be an also-ran, so we won't have to worry about it.

~Philly

MSMari~1

[Jon_Sy]

Can you see it now?

First, Mario kills Luigi, who is unnecessary competition. Of course, he has nothing to fear from Bowser: his employer has proprietary rights to hellfire. Soon the Kuppas will be building Mario's .NET empire, while the courts are paid off with funding from Yoshi's magic mushroom factory.

Re:What about sega?

[Tremul]

I disagree with the point about buying Sega. Why would Microsoft buy a company that has a history of lying to its customers, putting out faulty products which they don't support for very long and then throwing a brand new one on you once you realize how terrible the old version was. Oh wait...

This animation says it all...

[CityZen]

http://download.theforce.net/theater/shortfilms/co nsolewars/cwpart1.swf [theforce.net]

Re:Dr. Pierce discusses the Jewish Problem

[saihung]

You know, I'm Jewish and I keep hearing about this whole worldwide Jewish conspiracy. Apparently I'm not entered in their records correctly - could someone tell me who I need to write to so I can get my monthly check and my "How to manipulate the media" packet?

Re:Xbox is in trouble

[alcmena]

Microsoft has absolutely no way to force anyone to buy an Xbox.

Microsoft could start bundling XBoxes with Windows.

Re:Nintendo didn't need the money

[I didn't]

XBOX just doesn't have the winning titles yet.

They already have one...... called *Monopoly*.

Re:Nintendo franchised reimagined by Microsoft...

[macshit]

Better yet, a version of Super Smash Brothers featuring Clippy! Seeing how much people complain about him, there are probably millions of people willing to buy the system if they'd get get a chance to beat the little bastard to a pulp, again, and again, and again.

[Maybe that's the killer app the xbox needs ... they could start a whole subgenre of `torture clippy' games ... `Clippy Tied to a Post Knife Party'... ]