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The 20 Worst Games Ever 218

Posted by Zonk from the for-real dept.
EGM's Seanbaby has a 'director's cut' of a list of the top 20 worst videogames, a list published in the 150th issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly earlier this year. While some top lists may claim authority, this one is the real deal: these games are utter crap. From the article: "#10: Revolution X (SNES) This game is biblically horrific. You're overthrowing an oppressive world order. With Aerosmith. And music is your weapon. That scream of terror you just heard was probably you. Using your weapon, music, you'll fight a massive army of soldiers sent by the government to keep you from rocking. And since the artists were lazy, the army is made up entirely of a man in a yellow jacket and his several thousand identical twins."
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The 20 Worst Games Ever More

The 20 Worst Games Ever

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  • Plumbers don't wear ties? (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Gord ( 23773 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @05:33AM (#16535118) Homepage
    What about the infamous 'Plumbers don't wear ties?'. I remeber this scoring 4% in PC Format (UK) about 10 years ago and holding the title of 'Worst Rating' for many a year, it may even still do so. ..

    • Re:Plumbers don't wear ties? (Score:5, Interesting)

      by Sigma 7 ( 266129 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @06:00AM (#16535262)
      There's also "J-Space for Windows". The only instance I heard about it was in a small book listing cheats for ~101 PC games in circulation at the time.

      The tip for that game was don't buy it, since it got 4% -- PC Format's lowest ever rating. Other than that single comment, it seems as if the game disappeared from the face of the Earth. I have no idea why it was bad, since that comment didn't really cite when it was reviewed.

      • Re:Plumbers don't wear ties? (Score:4, Interesting)

        by Tony Hoyle ( 11698 ) <tmh@nodomain.org> on Sunday October 22, 2006 @09:18AM (#16536312) Homepage
        I used to be a part time reviewer, and I got sent a game that was so appalling I've never seen anything so bad since - it had jerky 2d motion and after I basically gave up on it found out that there was no quit - the only way to exit the game was to pull the power switch!

        Damned if I can remember its name.. I've blocked it out. Gave it a negative percentage at the time...

        • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

          by tylernt ( 581794 )
          Was the game 'Trantor'? Picked it up from the $5 bin years ago, it came in a big box that was empty except for a naked 5.25" floppy that wasn't even in a sleeve. Impossibly difficult to survive for more than about 30 seconds, as I recall it didn't have a 'quit' option.
    • OTOH, my nomination "most awesome game ever" goes to Desert Bus [wikipedia.org] from Penn and Teller's Smoke and Mirrors game package (it never made it big, surprisingly). The game was an answer to the Jack Thompson-types. Quoting from various sources [gamesetwatch.com]:
      'Desert Bus' was a game we thought would really appeal to people who didn't like unrealistic games, and didn't like violence in their games. It was just like real, loving life.

      The objective of the game is to drive a bus from Tucson, Arizona to Las Vegas, Nevada in real time at a maximum speed of 45mph, a feat that would take the player 8 hours of continuous play to complete, as the game cannot be paused.

      The bus contains no passengers, and there is no scenery or other cars on the road. The bus veers to the right slightly; as a result, it's impossible to tape down a button to go do something else and have the game end properly. If the bus veers off the road it will stall and be towed back to Tucson, also in real time. If the player makes it to Las Vegas, they will score exactly one point: the counter - which was five zeros - went to 1.

      It's available as a torrent [waxy.org]; feel free to wallow in its awesomeness!

      • Re:Plumbers don't wear ties? (Score:5, Informative)

        by Pluvius ( 734915 ) <pluvius3@@@gmail...com> on Sunday October 22, 2006 @10:14AM (#16536676) Journal
        Penn and Teller's Smoke and Mirrors game package (it never made it big, surprisingly).

        That's probably because it was never released commercially.

        Rob

      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by KDR_11k ( 778916 )
        That sounds as fun as some of Videlectrix's offerings.
      • After accidently making some meth, I got a high score of 100.

      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by arth1 ( 260657 )

        The objective of the game is to drive a bus from Tucson, Arizona to Las Vegas, Nevada in real time at a maximum speed of 45mph, a feat that would take the player 8 hours of continuous play to complete, as the game cannot be paused.

        It might be a rip-off, or it might be a zeitgeist, but "Journey to Alpha Centauri" as described by Terry Pratchett in the 1992 book "Only you can save mankind" is quite similar:

        'Wobbler had written an actual computer game like this once. It was called "Journey to Alpha Centauri".

    • Extreme PaintBrawl (Score:4, Informative)

      by ESqVIP ( 782999 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @12:01PM (#16537456)

      Another possible missing game is Extreme PaintBrawl [ign.com]; as far as I know, it got the lowest rating [ign.com] ever on IGN in 1998 (0.7 out of 10) and since then has never been topped (uhm, "topped" doesn't seem the right word for such games...).

    • I remember a game review from the Finnish Pelit magazine, many, many years ago. They had a section with very short reviews of games (I think they were mainly Amiga games, since Amiga was starting to get phased out by then), and some low scoring game was simply reviewed with "a shit game." That was it. It must have been really shit, I imagine.
  • I am deeply disappointed that Elite's landmark "911TS" did not make this list. For a review, see the last piece on this page [f9.co.uk], with accompanying glorious screenshot. I'd be interested to learn of a less innovative game.

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by dylan_- ( 1661 )
      Well, there was always Shanghai Karate which did what Way of the Exploding Fist, Way of the Tiger, etc. had done, just much, much worse.

      Worst game I can remember playing though was Grid Iron [worldofspectrum.org]. The thing that isn't even mentioned in that review is how buggy the whole thing was (presumably they didn't play it long enough to notice). You'd start off playing as the Chicago Bears and 10 games down the line you were coaching the Chicano Berts. Oh, and since it can be difficult to remember what were good or bad g

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by Jonathan ( 5011 )
      911TS does sound awful. But considering the same set of 1985 reviews trashed Archon, generally considered one of the best games of all time, I have to wonder.
    • Thank you very much for making me feel really really old and also for leading me to play Knight Tyme again. What an excellent game that was and still is :)

  • You're Winner! (Score:5, Interesting)

    by stinerman ( 812158 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @05:42AM (#16535174)
    #1 has to be Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing [wikipedia.org].

    Also, check out #9, Custer's Revenge [seanbaby.com], for some hot pr0n. Wow, were they ahead of their time or what?

    • Re:You're Winner! (Score:4, Funny)

      by iamhassi ( 659463 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @12:10PM (#16537512) Journal
      "check out #9, Custer's Revenge, for some hot pr0n."

      WHOA! Ook now that's going to far, Custer's Revenge actually was a good game, if only for the hot indian princess sex action reward!

      Can anyone think of any console game where you get to have sex with a Indian Princess after rescuing her? Anyone? How about getting to have sex with any hot girl after rescuing her?

      You have no idea how disappointing super mario brothers was after seeing Custer's Revenge. Race across one screen in Custer's Revenge and you get laid, play 9 levels in SMB and you still don't get any princess sex!

      Girlfriend walks in while i'm reading the review and says "Custer's Revenge. I've played that, you get to rape indian women and shit. That's a f**ked up little game." I couldn't have said it better myself ;-)
    • He only included console games. BR: OtRR is a PC game, even though it makes those console games look like fucking Half-Life 2.

  • yay for old news (Score:5, Informative)

    by floatingtrem ( 985721 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @05:43AM (#16535178)
    this might have been interesting if i hadn't read this, oh i dunno, 6 or 7 years ago when this article was published.
    • It's "The 20 Worst Games Ever."

      • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

        by Tim C ( 15259 )
        Perhaps some even worse games have been released since, if it's that old...

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by Himring ( 646324 )
      It's so old, it doesn't even mention diakatahna -- well, that or the fact that it's the 20 worsst SNES game.... Which is, yet, more evidence of how old it is....

      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        by Blakey Rat ( 99501 )
        Diakatana isn't THAT bad a game. Honestly, I've played much worse than just didn't happen to get the publicity... even picking a FPS that came out around the same time, IronStorm (I think was the name) was a total piece of crap. If you expand to RPGs, "Wizards and Warriors" came out in like 2001 without the capability of running in Windows 2000 and no 3D acceleration support at all. (And yes, it was a 3D game.) It was also buggy as crap... I think I got about halfway through before getting stopped by a

    • Re: (Score:2, Informative)

      by Anonymous Coward
      Link to wikipedia worst games ever http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_video_games_c onsidered_the_worst_ever [wikipedia.org]

  • Old/10 (Score:4, Informative)

    by Kyokugenryu ( 817869 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @05:45AM (#16535186)
    I think I still have this issue of EGM, from, oh, 2003 or so? How is this on the front page?

  • Ultima 9: Ascension (Score:5, Interesting)

    by owlman17 ( 871857 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @05:51AM (#16535226)
    Finally, an article on /. about a list of worst games, instead of the usual rehash of the "Top 5/10/20 best games of all time, etc ad nauseum" lists.

    Hmmm. Nobody seemed to mention Ultima IX, a terribly bug-ridden game. From the README file alone: "Be certain you empty your Recycle Bin before installing the game." Or : "We recommend that you not save the game while you're poisoned; this has been somewhat problematic in the current version."

    Wow, why didn't anyone mention that?

    (Another game worth mentioning: Conquest Earth. Its not buggy but... hey, might as well have been.)

    • Re:Ultima 9: Ascension (Score:5, Insightful)

      by NexFlamma ( 919608 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @06:10AM (#16535306) Homepage
      To show you just how old this new story is, it was originally published on Seanbaby's site [seanbaby.com] before Ultima 9 came out, hence why it's not on the list.

      Does it even qualify as news if it's that old?

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by Vreejack ( 68778 )
        Does it even qualify as news if it's that old?

        You must be new here.

        Anyway, Ultima IX would have a special spot on a "Most Dissapointing Games" list, perhaps occupying slot number one right above John Romero's Daikatana.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Kjella ( 173770 )
      Hmmm. Nobody seemed to mention Ultima IX, a terribly bug-ridden game (...) Wow, why didn't anyone mention that?

      Well, because there's hundreds if not thousands of games worse than Ultima IX. "Worst game" is silly because the worst games simply wouldn't spread very far - I haven't played a single game on their "bottom 20" list. What they're looking for is really "High-profile games that flopped miserably".

      It's sort of the same as "best game" categories, I would place classics as "Dune 2" and "Civilization" on

      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        by Pharmboy ( 216950 )
        This is why I wish there was some kind of moderation that all users could do on stories published here. Not digg style (ugg... don't get me started...) but a way for users to tell the editors here that the story sucked and was a waste of time. I am amazed at some of garbage that has made the front page over the last month. It WAS getting better here, but now I wonder.

        Something being "interesting" to one of the editors here is not the same as it being "news". I don't come here to read old, rehashed garba
        • Tagging sometimes seems to work well--I often see 'troll', 'flamebait', 'slashvertizement'(God, I hate that word but it seems to be occurring less frequently, thank God), 'dupe', 'pigpile'(Roland), etc. on articles.
          • Tags are ok, but I don't really see the point. If you put "dupe" and I put "duped", it is two different tags. I would prefer to see a list that we could choose from instead. Yes, it would be subject to manipulation if everyone could use it, but maybe only allowing those who have chosen to moderate and DO moderate would help. If someone was denied moderation in the future because their moderations were metamodded as unfair, then they would loose the ability to mod the articles.

            What you DO with the modera

    • Re:Ultima 9: Ascension (Score:4, Informative)

      by Pluvius ( 734915 ) <pluvius3@@@gmail...com> on Sunday October 22, 2006 @10:25AM (#16536740) Journal
      I hear that U9 is quite a bit more playable now than it was when it came out, especially if you include the fanmade patches.

      Rob

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by The-Bus ( 138060 )
        Also, in the next two or three years, it's expected that they will finally be CPUs and graphic cards powerful enough to render the game at more than seven frames per second.

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by MWoody ( 222806 )
      Now c'mon, Ultima IX is hardly even in the running for "worst." Yeah, it was among the buggiest commercial releases ever; I'm not going to argue with that. But underneath the bugs, it was a damn fun game. Very similar to Daggerfall, really, in that you'd learn to love it if you could learn to ignore the technical flaws. Of course, ignoring the flaws was a rather Herculean task, in Ultima IX's case, but that doesn't make it one of the worst games ever. Most disappointing, perhaps. Best game ever to be

  • Battlecruiser 3000AD (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Ullteppe ( 953103 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @06:07AM (#16535288) Journal
    How about Battlecruiser 3000AD? As to ET, there are actually worse 2600 games than this. Maybe not with the same historical significance, okay...

    • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

      by Fred_A ( 10934 )
      In defense (sortof) of BattleCruiser 3000, it seemed to be developped by a lone maniac with a fairly strong following and appeared to be fairly innovative since it covered all the aspects of futuristic combat, from space to ground.

      OTOH, it did too much, didn't do it very well and I have to admit I never really managed to play it. However I would give it some points for the sheer magnitude of the effort. It was an impressive piece of work. Kind of unuseable but still impressive. Which is why I wouldn't put i

      • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

        by skwang ( 174902 )
        I have to admit I never really managed to play it.

        You're in luck. Derek Smart (the lone maniac developer) has released the old versions of the game for free on the game's Web page [3000ad.com]. A while back I downloaded BattleCruiser Millenium, the 2nd generation of the title. [BattleCruiser 3000 was the 1st.] I have to admit, it is impressive. The scope of the idea of the game: space cruiser combat, space fighter combat, and (FPS) ground combat is very ambitious. Unfortunately the gameplay is not very good and

        • Re: (Score:2)

          by Fred_A ( 10934 )
          Well, when I say I never really managed to play it, it's because I actually bought the thing in a store but never got around to learn the 4 329 656 230 commands, deal with the numerous crashes, with the rather odd developper and his cultists on the support forums. So while I did get a glimpse of the game, I never got around to actually play it (in other words, I chickened out).

          I had more or less the same problems with a super realistic tank simulator (can't remember the name) a few years ago. I couldn't fig
    • This list is like 6 years old. I don't think Seanbaby's even touched his website in 4 years or so. It predates Battlecruiser 3000. (From what I understand, the game wasn't THAT bad, it just had terrible controls that couldn't be configured.)

  • OLD (Score:4, Insightful)

    by jb.hl.com ( 782137 ) <{joe} {at} {joe-baldwin.net}> on Sunday October 22, 2006 @06:19AM (#16535350) Homepage Journal
    I propose we give Sunday on Slashdot a new name. Something like "We've run out of things to post, so here's some old stuff" day.

    Jesus christ, if you don't have anything remotely new or interesting to post, don't post anything.

    • Re: (Score:2, Interesting)

      by gregmark ( 750089 )
      And yet, here you are, reading the crappy Sunday Slashdot. Sounds like you don't have anything better to do, so be glad that you found something provocative enough to entice you to post comments.

      I had never seen this article until now, so I'm glad it was resurrected. It's new to me.

    • Re:OLD (Score:4, Insightful)

      by WilliamSChips ( 793741 ) <full.infinity@NOsPAM.gmail.com> on Sunday October 22, 2006 @12:32PM (#16537634) Journal
      Jesus christ, if you don't have anything remotely new or interesting to post, don't post anything.
      This quote applies double to the people whining about Slashdot.
  • What Akira from the Amiga isn't on that list? It got horrible reviews. One of my personal hated games is Red Faction 2. The first was a great game but 2 was a total let down. What were they thinking by leaving out network play?
    • Personally, I liked Red Faction 2 more than the first one cause it was pure arcade shooting. What I couldn't fathom though, was the fact that the 'multiplayer' in the PC version was you versus bots, there was NO network/internet connection options to play with another RL player.

  • Big Rigs (Score:3, Interesting)

    by neonstz ( 79215 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @06:35AM (#16535436) Homepage
    I'm surprised Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing [gamespot.com] didn't make it to the list... :)

  • Big Rigs: YOU'RE WINNER! (Score:5, Informative)

    by Poro ( 14468 ) <turtiain&iki,fi> on Sunday October 22, 2006 @06:36AM (#16535442) Homepage
    At least according to a race sim maniac like me, "Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing" would be a good candidate for a more up to date version of the worst games ever list. Wikipedia [wikipedia.org] has some nice words about this quite extraordinary game.

  • Bible Adventures! (Score:5, Interesting)

    by binkzz ( 779594 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @06:41AM (#16535464) Journal
    While I definitely played worse games (and better ones), I found it kind of pointless that he chooses to just rant about the Bible and his religious views instead of discussing the game.

    • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward
      Yeah, it seems that the reviewer's biggotry had a lot more to do with this being a "bad" game than anything else.

      Then again, if I play another adventure game that starts with "First, the Democrats take over the world, then the aliens come and the world lives in Star Trek like heaven until someone screws it up" (Journeyman Project) or "once religion is elimnated we make real progress - you know, until the aliens come and screw it up" (Homeworld back story in manual). Gameplay-wise, excellent games, but mayb

      • Re:Bible Adventures! (Score:4, Interesting)

        by Matteo522 ( 996602 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @04:43PM (#16539338)
        Especially because it really wasn't a bad game by NES standards. I played that game a lot as a kid, and it was a lot of fun. We weren't even Christian growing up -- I got it as a gift from a Christian uncle. I didn't play the David & Goliath mini-game as much as the Noah's Ark one... but it was fairly challenging, had a whole bunch of levels, and decent replay value. Oh well. If you read the rest of his "reviews" (see the CDI Zelda one), you'll see this was just some idiot 16 year old.
    • I liked that write-up. I guess it's true that you can't be funny without being offensive.

  • This list is awful (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 22, 2006 @07:26AM (#16535720)
    This list is one the worst I've read. The author just lists games out of his ass, and he is not even coherent with his previous list about "Worst 20 NES videogames", so you find that some NES videogames that scored less on that list scored more on this, and the supposedly worst (Deadly Towers) is missing on this list. What the...?

    Suggestion: Avoid reading. Leave game trashing to professionals.
    • He said in the introduction that for this list, the magazine actually sent him the consoles to play these games - that's why there are so many Jaguar games. Obviously it is not scientific or anything, as he even admits later to forgetting to include a game. It's just a funny article - don't take it too seriously :)

  • Digging up E.T. (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Sippan ( 932861 ) <sippan@sippan.se> on Sunday October 22, 2006 @07:46AM (#16535812) Homepage
    The funniset thing in that article was the sentence "So if you ever lose your mind and want a copy of E.T., or maybe five million, grab a shovel and drive out to the desert. They're free."

    It's funny because you can't actually do it - Wikipedia: "Starting on September 27, 1983, a layer of concrete was poured on top of the crushed materials".

    Crushed, buried, sealed in concrete. Now that is one bad video game.

  • This info is rather stale (like the 2600) (Score:5, Interesting)

    by christoofar ( 451967 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @08:05AM (#16535910)
    This list has been rather arbitrary, however the "official" list [wikipedia.org] can be found and edited on Wikipedia.

    I agree on #1 though. I cannot forget how much ET sucked (and I was a little tyke around this time). I had JUST gotten exposed to the 2600 and the crappy Pac-Mac clone released for it when the console abruptly was shoved into the closet never to see the light of day again.

    I did enjoy the Atari 400 my mother had bought for my older sibling. We would both play Zaxxon for hours on it, which required starting a rather chunky and heavy cassette tape machine which you connected to the 400. There was some cheesy elevator music with some marketing propoganda (you had to turn the volumn down to ignore it). After going to get a soda and cigarettes at the store for my brother, the game would be completely loaded into RAM and we'd spend a good part of the afternoon trying to top scores.

    ET however managed to suck the life out of Atari and it destroyed the company. Had it not done that, NES would have had no void to fill.

    In fact, the Atari caused so much damage to the video game market (and all the other cheap video game systems), that Nintendo had to market the first 8-bit consoles by showing only the Nintendo R.O.B. (remember that thing?) The ROB had a major suck factor, but it was such a cool gimmick that the "seperate console" it needed to play the game managed to suck in enough kids that eventually the ROB was discarded (within about 6 months after it released).

    The ROB gimmick was quickly removed from the marketplace and the only boxes you could find where the standard console and the one with the Duck Hunt gun. The original issue had everything--the NES, the ROB and the gun with all those games! What a steal!

    • Re:This info is rather stale (like the 2600) (Score:4, Informative)

      by gozar ( 39392 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @08:18AM (#16535992) Homepage
      I agree on #1 though. I cannot forget how much ET sucked (and I was a little tyke around this time). I had JUST gotten exposed to the 2600 and the crappy Pac-Mac clone released for it when the console abruptly was shoved into the closet never to see the light of day again.

      I don't know why everyone hates E.T. much. I still dig it out from time to time to have ET put the transmitter together and phone home. People hate the pits... Here's a pointer for you, stay away from them! It's not like ET has any control issues, just keep him away from the pits.

      E.T. follows the movie pretty well given the limitations of the 2600. You have ET, you have Elliot, and you have the bad guys trying to get ET.

      Plus you get to revive a flower.

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by kypper ( 446750 )
        I don't know why everyone hates E.T. much. I still dig it out from time to time to have ET put the transmitter together and phone home.

        This is the saddest thing I have ever seen.

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by Cutriss ( 262920 )
        Karma bedamned, I have to kinda agree. I had E.T. and it wasn't that bad. I laugh every time I see people bashing it, and there's certainly good reason to do so, like how Atari made more cartridges than there were 2600 units in homes, because the game would be so awesome as to require people to buy consoles to have the game.

        Everyone always talks about the pits, but I never really had a problem getting out of them. I wonder what kind of awesome skills I might have repressed inside me for playing UT if I had
  • I always thought me and my brothers just sucked at E.T. because we never got anywhere in the game. Come to find out it was the game and not us. I'm glad that took the number one position.
  • Bad Street Brawler was published on at least the C64 under another name (that I can't think of now to save my life), and I thought that it was a pretty funny game if not a particularly good one. However it seems that besides the name change the game was also sanitized for the NES - the midget strongmen were handbag-wielding grannies in the (original?) computer version. I've never played the NES version and it's been ages since I played the C64 version, but does anyone know if there were other differences as

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by antime ( 739998 )
      Replying to myself here, but the name I was looking for was "Street Hassle" (apparently also released as "Bop'n'Rumble" in the U.S.). Looking at the screenshots [mobygames.com] it seems the NES version also replaced the blind, stick-wielding old guys with baseball-bat wielding hooligans. Removing the game's over-the-top humour really robs the NES version of its only saving grace so it's no wonder it is so poorly rated.

  • Revolution X (Score:5, Funny)

    by filthWisard ( 1015523 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @10:01AM (#16536592)
    Is it just me or does Revolution X sound like it could have been a good idea for a game if you replaced aerosmith with spinal tap?

  • Worst Website? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by KDR_11k ( 778916 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @10:21AM (#16536722)
    I nominate this for a pretty high ranking in the Worst Websites Outside Of Myspace list. Seriously, I had to turn off the CSS to avoid eyebleed and my system is already blocking GIFs and Flash, I don't even want to know what this would look like to some poor IE user.

  • Airport Tycoon (Score:4, Interesting)

    by SpryGuy ( 206254 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @11:12AM (#16537126)
    The worst game I ever purchased was "Airport Tycoon". Talk about abysmal. The concept had so much promise, but the result was so buggy and unfinsihed and ugly and unplayable, that it's the only game I ever uninstalled completely after less than one day, and then shredded and destroyed rather than taking it back for a refund. The only pleasure I got was destroying that piece of crap game.

    Examples of what was wrong: all the graphical colors were muddy earth tones, just ugly. Placing buildings was buggy as hell (many times a building, road, or runway would refuse to be placed, for no apparent reason). Placing things inside the terminal (like ticket counters and security) was pointless... you could pile everything up on top of each other so people couldn't possible reach them, and it didn't matter. All that mattered is that you placed them somewhere. Also, what happened on the screen showed ZERO relationship with what was going on in the game. The game would say that the runway was too crowded, but the display would show an empty runway.

    Just horrible all around. There wasn't a single redeeming value.

  • Was pretty funny until it got homophobic (Score:3, Informative)

    by twjordan ( 88132 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @11:15AM (#16537142)
    I was enjoying this article until I got to the review of Zelda: Wand of Gamelon [seanbaby.com]. At first, I thought he was committing the sin of just being a jackass and using "gay" as a term to mean lame, but not actually connecting it with homosexuality, then I read "Now do the math on this: experts in ass ramming estimate that about 10% of the world is homosexual, and if you consider that only 5 people actually wanted a CDI machine, that means that this game was made specifically for a target audience of one half a person."

    "Experts in ass ramming" eh?

    Sounds like this guy has got a problem, oh I figured it out, he's a fucking idiot.

  • Hold the button (Score:3, Funny)

    by edxwelch ( 600979 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @11:38AM (#16537282)
    Don't know if this would rate as the worse game, but it's good for a laugh anyways:
    http://www.holdthebutton.com/ [holdthebutton.com]

  • I especially like this gem from Club Drive (Jaguar):

    Club Drive has invented its own bizarre set of rules where [really stupid game design]. It's hard to say whether it's a glimpse into the future of driving or just someone being an idiot.
  • I've been playing games for 30 years, it is most definitely the worst I have played. I'm not talking about other platforms, just the DS version. It's a game with so many bugs that it should be retitled "Get to the end of the level while working round the bugs". It could have been called "Defeat the Empire while working round the bugs" except that I'm not sure that the goal is to defeat the Empire. On some levels the goal appears to be merely to run around until the level suddenly disappears and is replaced

  • This guy works for EGM? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by gravis777 ( 123605 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @01:30PM (#16538032)
    This is the most pathetic article I have ever read. Other than being horribly offended by the language of the article, it read mostly like it was written by some teenage kid on his blog. While I must agree with his game picks, I feel that he was overly harsh in many areas, especially graphics. The Kriss Kross game and the Zelda game made early use of video compression capabilities, and especially with the Kriss Kross game, the idea that you are mixing videos, real-time, on the fly, on hardware the likes of the Sega CD, limited to 64 colors being able to be displayed at one time, was quite a technological marvel. Several of the games he mentioned had sucky graphics not because of poor design, but because of limitations of the NES and the Gameboy color. Actually, from the screenshots he posted of stuff like Bubsy, Kriss Kross, Barensteen Bears, Total Recal, and so forth, the graphics were on par with other games of the same genera on the same platform. Shoot, even ET, with as AWFUL as that game was, had graphics that were on par with other Atari 2600 titles.

    While I must admit that all of these games sucked, the reasons given in the article were not good. It looks like games were picked at random, I mean, with the exception of ET, I can think of many other games that should be on this list instead. I would much rather be forced to play Bubsy than that horrible Home Alone game for the SNES, Galaga 13 and Michael Jackson's Moonwalker could be put in the same category as Total Recal, and I cannot believe that not a single Barbie game made the list. And what about those games that were released that were so buggy that they could not be played? Three Dirty Drarfs for the Sega Saturn actually CRASHED on me every time I get to a certain point of the game, which, I have not played it in years, so cannot remember if its the first or second level, but made the game practically worthless. I have played racing games where physics seemed to be a concept the game designers left out, making it perfectly alright to drive through solid objects. How in the world did Aquaman not get on this list?

    Once again, I must admit that all these games suck, but if you are going to work for EGM, stop acting like a 14 year old who is having a tempertantherum because he just got grounded.

  • Zero Wing (Score:4, Insightful)

    by fuzzybunny ( 112938 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @01:47PM (#16538134) Homepage Journal
    Can't believe nobody's brought up this classic.

    The game itself is, meh, average, but the fact that the introduction was so hilariously bad as to spark an Internet phaenomenon....well, all your bad game are belong to us.
  • That Big Rigs game with no collision detection and such? And where is Daikatana?!

  • Worst Game Ever (Score:3, Informative)

    by BigFootApe ( 264256 ) on Sunday October 22, 2006 @08:00PM (#16540990)
    I don't know how they missed Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing.

    Wikipedia has a pretty good list:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_video_games_c onsidered_the_worst_ever [wikipedia.org]

  • From the linked article:

    #18: Kris Kross: Make My Video (Sega CD)

    Fun: 0/10

    I didn't think you could make something worse that was already
    two hopping kids with their clothes on backwards. These people
    could have made a game about ass cancer worse than the original.

  • Heroes of the Lance? (Score:3, Informative)

    by The Wooden Badger ( 540258 ) on Monday October 23, 2006 @12:16AM (#16542764) Homepage Journal
    Heroes of the Lance was bad enough to be on the list? It wasn't great, but it wasn't that bad either. Oh, I just read the article, and he's talking about the NES version. The PC version was decent at least. The NES version looks like crap compared to the PC version (EGA baby!).

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