The Duke Is Finally Back, For Real 309
After the first announcement on 1997-04-27 and over eleven years of fresh start after fresh start, Duke Nukem Forever finally comes to your system. At least if your system is an Xbox 360. Jon Siegler, the webmaster of 3D Realms, confirms this on their site: "As has been reported around the net today, we can confirm that the game has indeed passed final certification with Microsoft on Friday the 15th of August (on our first try, no less). That means the game is done — it is now in the hands of Microsoft." Update: 08/19 10:47 GMT by T : Several readers have written with a correction: this announcement is actually about Duke Nukem 3D, rather than Duke Nukem Forever.
Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Funny)
It's in Microsoft's hands now, so all I'm seeing are chairs...
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Informative)
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Insightful)
An article of this magnitude (well it isn't but if it were true...) and the least the editor could've done is hover his mouse cursor over the link. Also this is old news (DN3D coming to XBLA).
I'm so screwed (Score:5, Funny)
After I read the summary I called my boss at home and quit. I then drained our bank account and blew it all on hookers and booze. Now you tell me it was false alarm????? When my wife wakes up what she'll do will make the Apocalypse look like a trip to Disneyland. Note to editors, please fact check articles before posting summaries.
Re: (Score:2, Insightful)
Posting to undo accidental bad moderation (hit the wrong option in the dropdown list).
Re:I'm so screwed (Score:5, Funny)
After I read the summary I went and bought a Mac Pro, so you're relatively better off.
Re:I'm so screwed (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I'm so screwed (Score:4, Funny)
* - Don't do this, please. I honestly don't usually enjoy stupid clients, and this is all a joke anyhow.
** - Tied with "sorry" as the most expensive word in the law.
Heaven (Score:5, Funny)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
...unless of course you're not one of the 144k chosen (electons all rays cause explosions.)
Re:Heaven (Score:5, Funny)
Who knew that that limitation was due to storage space all along. I look forward to the new 18-bit heaven.
Re:I'm so screwed (Score:5, Funny)
Note to editors, please fact check articles before posting summaries.
Now that would be a sure sign of the Apocalypse.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Note to editors, please fact check articles before posting summaries.
The editors don't fact or dupe check and we don't read the articles. It's a little understanding we have around here.
Re:I'm so screwed (Score:5, Funny)
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I think he meant "Than now what..."
Re:I'm so screwed (Score:5, Funny)
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At least Duke Nukem 3D is done!
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Funny)
It's NOT just you my friend.
The moment I read it... I felt this enormous pain in my stomach. It got worse and worse to the point where I was heaving with my face on the keyboard. I felt my cheeks ripping apart and out came this little winged monkey. With a fez hat. He just handed me the game, gave me the thumbs up signal and flew out the window.
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Funny)
You should have taken a picture and posted it on the net. It would have become an instant shock site classic!
You could have called it monkeyse!
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Funny)
Insightful?
Seriously, mods?
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Funny)
It's NOT just you my friend.
The moment I read it... I felt this enormous pain in my stomach. It got worse and worse to the point where I was heaving with my face on the keyboard. I felt my cheeks ripping apart and out came this little winged monkey. With a fez hat. He just handed me the game, gave me the thumbs up signal and flew out the window.
That was NOT the thumbs up signal. That was the beginning of Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A B A.
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Funny)
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Ill believe it when netcraft confirms it.
Oh, and...
Ive got balls of steel.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Nah, its still never coming out to PC, shitting all over the fans who have actually been anticipating this, the duke is dead to me.
Moderated: +1 Surly
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Nm, false start, apparently the editors can't tell a 10 year old game from a new one.
Yes I burn karma, mode me up for it kthx.
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Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Having the front page with every single link a rickroll? Now THAT would be funny!
YouTube already did it.
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Funny)
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
Wow.
Now I realized how much I miss After Dark.
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Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:4, Funny)
You must be in S. Florida. That's the storm blowing them around. Duke Nukem Forever wasn't released. :)
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(Note: From SW Florida)
Storm? I've seen more impressive winds coming out of a sneeze.
I knew it (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I knew it (Score:5, Funny)
"Dawn is in trouble? It must be tuesday."
Re:I knew it (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I knew it (Score:4, Funny)
Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes,
they've got those hoppy legs and twitchy little noses,
and whats with all the carrots? What do they need such good eyesite for anyway?!?!?
Bunnies! Bunnies!! it must be BUNNIES!!!
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
I've always known that the Apocalypse would fall on a Tuesday.
Don't worry, we're working on a zero-day patch for this.
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Don't be silly. The four horsemen of the apocalypse are death, war, famine and BSOD.
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No, this must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.
Wrong... (Score:5, Informative)
Uh... no?
The story is about Duke Nukem 3D for Xbox Live Arcade, NOT Duke Nukem Forever.
Bad summary. Bad.
Re:Wrong... (Score:5, Insightful)
Re: (Score:2)
It's probably easy for them to mistake this for a Duke Nukem Forever announcement since it is so very rare that game developers announce a new port of a 12 and a half year old computer game to yet another new platform.
In case some people haven't realized it yet, Duke Nukem Forever is a JOKE guys. The whole point of the joke is that Duke Nukem will continue to be ported to new platforms "forever" as they become available. There isn't going to be an actual game with killer graphics called "Duke Nukem Foreve
Re:Wrong... (Score:4, Informative)
Actually re-releases of older games on newer platforms are becoming more common. Game devs have started to note the flourishing emulation community and realized that people still like to play the old classics. Sometimes, they go out and use the emulators to do it. Sierra uses DOSBox to run their compilations on Windows. Also Nintendo has a SNES emulator (developed in house I think) on the Wii so you can buy favored SNES games and play them. So that isn't surprising.
Also DNF is no joke, or at least if it is the joke's on 3Drealms. They have currently licensed not one, not two but three high end (at the time) 3D engines over the course of developing it. That is some seriously expensive shit. They've spent a lot of money working on it. Be it ineptitude or something else, they've sunk a lot of money in the project.
Re: (Score:2, Informative)
No they'll just add the "badsummary" and "wrongsummary" tags to it and be done with it, same as every other time.
Re:Wrong... (Score:5, Funny)
When noone else RTFA on /. why would the editors?
Much love /.
Re:Wrong... (Score:4, Insightful)
Bad to the point of me thinking the editors might as well just pull this entire posting. Except that'd be too easy on them, I guess. Seriously, though - RTFA, anyone?
Not-particularly-outlandish conspiracy time; the editor(s) in question knew that this would probably be found out as a "mistake" quite quickly, but that it would generate page views (at least) and discussion anyway. And since the majority of Slashdotters aren't subscribers, that's probably how they make most of their money.
Can't say I hold this against them badly; it's just a little commercial pragmatism.
The same goes for "accidental" duplicates of stories that generate good interest and discussion, but are about to fall off the front page.
What gets me is that people will dismiss this (Slashdot editors acting in a mildly cynical but commercially pragmatic manner do something fairly *straightforward*- and not all that evil- that makes commercial sense) as a loony conspiracy theory. Yet they'll continue to believe the alternative, that the editors continue to be employed despite making transparent "mistakes" and displaying supposed incompetence that would verge on the drool-inducing. Get real!
Yep (Score:5, Insightful)
As a practical matter it isn't real likely that DNF would come out now, not just because of it's vaporware status but because it is, yet again, time for another engine change. DNF was being developed on a modified Unreal Engine 2. Ok, no problem... Except that Unreal Engine 3 is out. Not only is it out, there are a bunch of first flight games using it. Bio Shock, Mass Effect, UT3, Rainbow 6 Vegas, this is what people expect new, top of the line shooters to look like. So if they release with a game based on the old engine, well it isn't likely to do so well, especially given all the buildup. Thus they'll need to license UE 3, and then they'll be conversion work for that.
However I suspect what is happening is money is starting to run out. A number of products that they were publishing/producing got transferred to other companies, which suggests they don't have the funds to keep development going. Duke 3D being one of their only properties around, they seem to be trying for another release to get some more cash.
I can't say I'm all that surprised, they have done basically nothing as a developer for over a decade, and not a whole lot as a publisher (most of their stuff published this decade are Duke rehashes for various platforms). It can't be cheap to continue working on this game that's never getting released. Compounding that is licensing cost for buying new game engines all the time. 3D engines from companies like Epic and iD are not cheap, and even less so when it is the top of the line engine. They've thus far bought 3 of them (Quake 2, UE 1 and UE 2) and that is going to hit the bottom line.
Personally, I think they'll go bankrupt before they ever actually get DNF out. Most likely the property will be sold to another studio. Who knows what will come of it? At this point, I just don't see them as being able to get together the money to finish it, even if they did actually stop screwing around and work on getting it out.
Re:Yep (Score:5, Interesting)
Think what you wish.
One of the primary reasons this was done was an exercise for our programmers on 360 coding, how to interface with Live, etc, etc, etc. This was done on a "smaller" project so that kinks and issues can be worked out for the larger project (DNF).
If you want to chicken little the world, go ahead. Doesn't make it right. :)
Joe Siegler
Webmaster - 3D Realms
Re:Yep (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Yep (Score:5, Funny)
We're not the ones with a decade of bullshit promises that we've never delivered on.
You're thinking of Will Wright. The DNF team has been making promises for more than a decade.
I think (Score:3, Insightful)
As the other poster said, the burden of proof is on YOU. I've been hearing of DNF for over a decade, and thus far there's nothing to show for it. I don't claim to be an expert on the development cycle, but I do know more than a little about computer technology. I know that things change FAST and what you did 10 years ago doesn't cut it today.
You want people like me to quit giving you shit for rehashes of Duke 3D? Then release DNF, and it'd better not suck. You can't do that because it's still not "done" aft
Not DNF (Score:5, Informative)
This isn't a release of Duke Nukem Forever, just an updated Duke 3d for Xbox 360...
(As I am sure many posts will correct)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Yep, it's Duke Nukem Updated For The Time Being. Just shows the advantages and limitations of agile methods.
No more vaporware awards... (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:No more vaporware awards... (Score:4, Informative)
THey tried that 2 or 3 years ago. It still won by a landslide the next year.
Duke 3d, not DNF (Score:3, Informative)
This story is about Duke Nukem 3D, not Duke Nukem Forever.
*sigh*
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
I'll go back to pining away now...
3D not Forever (Score:4, Interesting)
The apocalypse is not upon us. The summary is wrong, for those of you new here. This is Duke Nukem 3D for Xbox Live Arcade and not Duke Nukem Forever.
Re:3D not Forever (Score:4, Funny)
I knew the story must be wrong when it said Duke Nukem Forever was being released. That's not something that happens so it's clearly nonsense.
No skiing for Satan yet (Score:3, Funny)
The announcement is about Duke Nukem 3D on XBLA, not Duke Nukem Forever.
And (Score:2)
That means the game is done -- it is now in the hands of Microsoft.
as they hold it there is this barely perceptible crackling sound as a thousand fissures in the disk appear and as they grow more and more numerous the disk turns to sand and filters through thier fingers and as the sand hits the floor it turns back to the vapor from whence it came.
Either that countless Xbos systems melt down as people try to play it. It'll be one of those two.
Woot go kdawson (Score:2)
Everyone else here pointed out the obvious. Kdawson, I volunteer my time to reading summaries and clicking on links before putting hogwash on games.slashdot (only games!). Thank you.
Nothing to see here, move along... (Score:2, Funny)
it is now in the hands of Microsoft.
Given how long it was taking, I was under the impression that it had been in their hands all along!
Even the editor (Score:5, Insightful)
Amazing (Score:5, Funny)
Results 1 - 10 of about 852 from slashdot.org for duke nukem forever.
Lets hope the game actually gets released before we have to read another 800+ articles about it
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Could SOMEONE PLEASE EDIT... (Score:3, Insightful)
... this announcement, making a clear statement that this is NOT Duke Nukem Forever?
Sorry for shouting, but this is really a complete mess... it might even lead to nervous breakdowns, common outrages, mass panic etc.pp. - not to mention camping havoc before retail stores...
Re:Could SOMEONE PLEASE EDIT... (Score:5, Funny)
Tags (Score:5, Insightful)
fps, badsummary, wrongsummary, !dukenukemforever, kdawsonsucks (tagging beta)
Best. Tags. Ever.
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
Fail... (Score:2)
DN3D != DNF
Article Summary == Wrong
Editors == Fail
Thank god for that or the world would need a new product to hold up as shining example of vapourware ;)
(Microsoft works which actually lives up to the name would be a candidate, linux desktop edition another)
Who tagged it "epicfail," though? (Score:4, Funny)
DN3D != DNF
Article Summary == Wrong
Editors == Fail
Yes, but who tagged it "epicfail?"
It's "3D Realms" that failed, not Epic.
Clearly, that's an entirely different company.
Look on the bright side... (Score:3, Funny)
If it had *actually* been Duke Nukem Forever being released, this particular Slashdot meme would be forever dead... I mean, what else would there be for us to complain about?
Re: (Score:2, Troll)
Let me highlight some ideas for future complaints:
"As has been reported around the net today, we can confirm that [Duke Nukem Forever] has indeed passed final certification with Microsoft on Friday the 15th of August (on our first try, no less). That means the game is done â" it is now in the hands of Microsoft."
Enough said. ;)
Next week... (Score:2)
And in the news, next week the Amiga has it's comeback!
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Apocalyps Now! (Score:2, Funny)
w00sh, w00sh, w00sh, w00sh, w00sh...
Xbox 360... shit; I'm still only coding for Xbox 360... Every time I think I'm gonna wake up back behind my pc coding Duke Nukem Forever forever. When I was home after my first checkin it was worse. I'd wake up and there'd be nothing. I hardly said a word to my wife, until I said "yes" to a divorce. When I was here, I wanted to be there; when I was there, all I could think of was getting back into the source code. I'm here a week now... waiting for a lock... getting softe
Accurate (Score:3, Funny)
The article doesn't lie!
The Duke Nukem episodes ARE going to go on forever.
Nobody actually reads the article... (Score:4, Insightful)
We're very pleased to announce that "Duke Nukem 3D for Xbox LIVE Arcade" will be coming to your Xbox 360 console soon!
So it's been Duke Nukem 3D [wikipedia.org] we've been waiting for? Or did they change the name from Duke Nukem Forever [wikipedia.org]? Because if you've all been waiting fro Duke Nukem 3D then that's been out for a while and you can all stop holding yer breath. If you are waiting for Duke Nukem Forever.... well then you've still got some waiting to do.
Oh and by the way. According to these articles McCain [wikipedia.org] is actually a space alien and this article clearly states that Obama [wikipedia.org] is a time-traveler. Don't believe me? Read the article... if you don't how would you know if the article says that or not?
The second mistake in the original article (Score:5, Informative)
-- Joe Siegler,
Webmaster 3D Realms
thank fucking cthulhu for this one (Score:5, Funny)
Tropical storm blowing outside, sky all dark, internet out so I'm having to use neighbor's wifi, and now I thought for a moment Duke Nuke'em Forever was finally coming out. I expected to see another sign of the apocalypse at any moment!
Re:A sign... (Score:5, Insightful)
No, /. editors not checking the actually story is not a sign of the Apocalypse.
It's more on the scale of "a sign that /. is not a real news source".
Re:A sign... (Score:4, Funny)
No, /. editors not checking the actually story is not a sign of the Apocalypse.
It's more on the scale of "a sign that /. is not a real news source".
Given your low uid, if you haven't realised this by now its probably something you shouldn't worry about...
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
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A) 173945 is a low UID these days? Shit, I'm pissed I didn't sign up with my friend in the 14,000s... and he's pissed he didn't sign up before there were UIDs.
B) You missed his joke. He is fully aware of the fact /. isn't a fact checked news source and was just pointing out that this retarded "story" is something that should surprise nobody.
C) Screw you, Jogar the Barbarian (5830)... you are supposed to wait for a 5 digit to post before you as a 4 digit posts. Then someone with a 3 digit should post. Th
Needless flamebait (Score:5, Insightful)
I'm wondering if maybe Hurricane78 is a console gamer, and therefore has no knowledge of FPS games on the PC. It's possible people would read "Duke Nukem 3D" and assume it must be the "Forever" game, because that's the only Duke Nukem they're aware of.
After all, generic common-as-muck shooters such as the Halo franchise and Gears of War are elevated to Godlike status by console gamers, and I can only presume it's because they've never actually played shooters before that didn't suck. As far as decent shooters go, consoles don't really have much of a history. There's Goldeneye 007 on the N64, but not much else.
Point being, if you'd never heard of DN3D then you might mistake this announcement as being the final name of the "Duke Nukem Forever" project, in the way that Longhorn became Vista. So maybe that explains the journal entry. kdawson's contribution can be explained by his or her general uselessness as an editor.
Re:A sign... (Score:5, Funny)
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria... Duke Nukem Forever
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This *is* one of the signs of the Apocalypse, right?
Windows and Linux, living together, mass hysteria!
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You mean Microsoft finally has the hardware to make Duke Nukem playable after all these years?
Stick to software, guys...
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I can't even understand why someone would want to play it at this date.
Similar as I feel with most emulators, they look cool, I belive I want to play the games, but I never actually do.
Some things was best in their time.
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
Some things was best in their time.
I still play Doom2 and SF2 on XBLA. The latest 3D engine and multi-million dollar game isn't always as good as a re-vamped or rebalanced classic.
Plus, take into consideration several million XB360 owners who weren't old enough to get into these games when they were new and cutting edge.
Finally, I used to dream of having a gigantic display to play Duke on a comfy couch when I was sitting there with my 14" CRT in a $20 used office chair. Freshened graphics on a 50" HD panel in the den, online multiplayer, an
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good, now yell that with an ackbar voice: "ITS A PORT!"