Gamer Plays Doom For the First Time 362
sfraggle writes "Kotaku has an interesting review of Doom (the original!) by Stephen Totilo, a gamer and FPS player who, until a few days ago, had gone through the game's 17-year history without playing it. He describes some of his first impressions, the surprises that he encountered, and how the game compares to modern FPSes. Quoting: 'Virtual shotgun armed, I was finally going to play Doom for real. A second later, I understood the allure the video game weapon has had. In Doom the shotgun feels mighty, at least partially I believe because they make first-timers like me wait for it. The creators make us sweat until we have it in hand. But once we have the shotgun, its big shots and its slow, fetishized reload are the floored-accelerator-pedal stuff of macho fantasy. The shotgun is, in all senses, instant puberty, which is to say, delicately, that to obtain it is to have the assumed added potency that a boy believes a man possesses vis a vis a world on which he'd like to have some impact. The shotgun is the punch in the face the once-scrawny boy on the beach gives the bully when he returns a muscled linebacker.'"
Sounds pseudo-intellectual to me. (Score:5, Funny)
Plus, it's on Kotaku, the home of anime-obsessed nerds who love video games more than sex.
I think I'll pass.
Re:Sounds pseudo-intellectual to me. (Score:5, Funny)
Plus, it's on slashdot, the home of technology nerds who love computers more than sex.
I think I'll pass.
Nope, no different that way either. ah well.
Re:Doom-shaped hole in my life? (Score:2, Funny)
as you type this from your mom's basement wondering what it would be like to have a girlfriend......
Re:Doom-shaped hole in my life? (Score:5, Funny)
Well, by all means walk into a story about the game tell us how you're still not playing it. That's a great way to avoid a -1 troll.
hot review (Score:3, Funny)
Was he watching hot gay porn while writing this?
Whaaa Huh? (Score:5, Funny)
The creators make us sweat until we have it in hand. But once we have ...its big shots and its slow, fetishized ... stuff of macho fantasy. [It] is, in all senses, instant puberty, which is to say, delicately, that to obtain it is to have the assumed added potency that a boy believes a man possesses vis a vis a world on which he'd like to have some impact.
I remember uploading Doom to my local BBS. I don't remember it being quite the right-of-passage depicted here.
Re:Sounds pseudo-intellectual to me. (Score:3, Funny)
I don't love video games more than sex, but I certainly get to play around more that way.
May be why I hang out on Joystiq instead.
Re:Sounds pseudo-intellectual to me. (Score:0, Funny)
You would know. Their 'waifu' are those stupid lolicon pillows.
Doom? Is that supposed the old stupid game with the rickroll boom box?! and the blue tails runnin thru map01 firing shotguns since tails are foxes are the best, on the multiplayer geting a DOUBLE KILLS and role play with MAH BOIS etc.
Doom's image has been tarnished plenty by these kinds of newbies these days. They no longer understand its contextual relevance and its significance.
Captcha: mallard. Mallards are ducks. Ducks go quack. Quack is pretty close to "Quake".
Re:Sounds pseudo-intellectual to me. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:It's not as bad as it looks (Score:5, Funny)
I didn't expect him to know the terminology. I was just boggled by the writing.
Well I presume your average /.er's vernacular and phrase turning ability lies closer to the masterdebater end of the spectrum, rather than the cunning linguists range of word-play.
Re:Sounds pseudo-intellectual to me. (Score:4, Funny)
And apparently -elitist- nerds. The most ridiculous type. It's like comic book guy from the simpsons making fun of millhouse.
Re:mmmmm (Score:3, Funny)
You were on AOL in 1993? YOU KILLED THE INTERNET, YOU ASSHOLE!
Caps lock filter bypass text.
Re:Sounds pseudo-intellectual to me. (Score:5, Funny)
You would know. Their 'waifu' are those stupid lolicon pillows.
Doom? Is that supposed the old stupid game with the rickroll boom box?! and the blue tails runnin thru map01 firing shotguns since tails are foxes are the best, on the multiplayer geting a DOUBLE KILLS and role play with MAH BOIS etc.
Doom's image has been tarnished plenty by these kinds of newbies these days. They no longer understand its contextual relevance and its significance.
Captcha: mallard. Mallards are ducks. Ducks go quack. Quack is pretty close to "Quake".
This is your brain on drugs. Get the picture?
Re:Sounds pseudo-intellectual to me. (Score:2, Funny)
there is a world of difference between liking computer games more than sex, and not having sex.
It's a faceoff between basement virgins and Warcraft widowers.
Re:Here, let me summarize... (Score:5, Funny)
Are summarizing sex or doom?
Sex...it's like doom.
Bonus 'joke':
It's been 17 years since I enjoyed either.
Re:It's not as bad as it looks (Score:3, Funny)
You, sir, are going down!
Re:Slashdot (Score:2, Funny)
You can get back to the 50% score if you look at it as:
news [ ]
for nerds [x]
stuff [x]
that matters [ ]
Re:Sounds pseudo-intellectual to me. (Score:3, Funny)
It's like comic book guy from the simpsons making fun of millhouse.
Worst. Analogy. Ever.
I'm A New Doom Player Too!! (Score:5, Funny)
H@X (Score:2, Funny)
Re:mmmmm (Score:2, Funny)
OMG shrooms!
Re:Sounds pseudo-intellectual to me. (Score:3, Funny)
...No skill involved at all besides hypnotizing the masses that you're somehow better than them and somehow /deserve/ to get money for free.
I don't know man, that sounds like a pretty useful skill.