Tongue-Controlled Gameboy Advance SP Launched

Hangin10 writes "Simmunity Corporation and newAbilities Systems Inc. is going to introduce a specially modified tongue-controlled Gameboy Advance SP for young people with quadriplegia. They say 'We retrofit the Gameboy Advance SP with an internal PIC microcontroller to decode the wireless tongue transmitter signals and activate the GBA buttons. Games which do not require multiple simultaneous button presses can be played. We also offer custom games and special programs for augmented communication.'"

Wait'll the porn industry gets hold of this!

[Penguinisto]

As a bonus, no one will want to swipe your Gameboy and play it, either!

Nothing but bonuses all around on this one... /P

Serious thinking to do now...

[grub]

A tongue controller. Hmm... does anyone know if Virtual Valerie 2 [gamefaqs.com] has been ported to the Gameboy Advance SP? I may yet buy one of these, assuming my medical plan covers lockjaw.

damn it

[millahtime]

Damn it!!! Lesbians will have a leg up on these games to start.

Coming to adult stores near you

[SharpFang]

New Gameboy Adult-themed GB games! The Frenchman! The Cunning Lingus!

Opinion from customers: My ex-boyfriend bought the new gameboy. Now we are together again! Thank you Nintendo!

Argh!

[Slicebo]

Too many jokes in head!

Must make funny before brains run out of ears!

No jokes please

[Stevyn]

Let's not make any handicapped jokes please. Alright, porn industry jokes are fine.

Great news for geeks

[Radon Knight]

Couple years of practice with these machines and they'll become super-popular with the women!

Or, wait... would that mean that they're no longer geeks?

Re:Wait'll the porn industry gets hold of this!

[Lemmeoutada Collecti]

It certainly gives new meaning to "Licking" your opponents... just hope you don't whip their a**... that could be bad, m'kay

I probably shoudn't have posted this...

Finally!

[Vatara]

Finally a video game your girlfriend will encourage you to play...

Call it "Tungsten"

[AtariAmarok]

They can call it "Tungsten". Oh wait.... [walmart.com]

Re:Coming to adult stores near you

[Anonymous Coward]

You might be a cunning linguist, but I'm a master debater.

Tetris addicting? Try it with strawberry.

[xmuskrat]

New FlavorSleeves makes games even more addictive. Punish your child with a 30 day spinach patch.

What's next, GameBoy DVDA?

[Tackhead]

Whoa. We all knew Nintendo had been trying to break out of the "cute" market for a while, but isn't this overkill?

What's next? The GameBoy DS being given two tongue-controlled inputs so you and your date can get in a few practice rounds of "See Luigi the Cunning Linguist rescues the Perky Princess of Pr0n" before the main event? Will E3 2005 bring on the GameBoy DVDA?

I'll pass on the Zelda erotic fan fiction, sorry people, I don't do elves. But chicks in spacesuits, well, now you're talkin' my language. Bring on the Metroid Pr0ne!

Think tank says ... don't buy it!

[IGnatius T Foobar]

Don't buy this product. The Alexis de Tongueville Institute has released an independent, objective, un-biased, and totally honest study which concludes that you should only buy Xbox video game hardware, and that video game products from Sony and Nintendo are directly responsible for terrorism and the collapse of the global economy.

Re:Great news for geeks

[millahtime]

Couple years of practice with these machines and they'll become super-popular with the women!

Or, wait... would that mean that they're no longer geeks?

No, you'll be really popular with the ladies but they won't tell any of their friends about you. You can have them and their friends and none will be the wiser. muahahahaha

Cool...

[toupsie]

Now my wife will let me buy one!!!

Ftupid gameboy!

[farnerup]

Now I hag calpal tunnel thyndrome in my tongue!

Re:That's nice.

[Anonymous Coward]

...this, coming from a guy who references fark.com in his header?

Re:Coming to adult stores near you

[grub]

but I'm a master debater.

This is slashdot, you're preaching to the choir.

Re:That's nice.

[Anonymous Coward]

wow, how did you type that so quick ?

Re:My great uncle had quadriplegia...

[Anonymous Coward]

It's nice to see some gaming devices being made to help people with limited movement abilities.

See, there's help for the Slashdot crowd after all...

So now you can lick your opponent?

[MrIrwin]

EOM

Some of the proposed game titles.

[AtariAmarok]

Jar Jar Apple Heist

Gene Simmons' "Groupie Invaders" KISS-tie-in game.

Mick Jagger "Start Me Up"

Dr Tongue's 3-D House of Games

Yet another computer adaptation of "Candyland".

Re:That's nice.

[brotherscrim]

We must have forgotten that the physically handicapped are incapable of having any sense of humor. On behalf of the physically-able, I apologize for our lack of sensitivity to our go-tard bretheren.

Oops.

Re:damn it

[sohojim]

"lesbians will have a leg up from the start"

I'm sure your girlfriend will be thrilled to hear your view that lesbians are the only lovers who need to use their tongues.

And yes, I know where I am. :)

Re:Ftupid gameboy!

[Tablizer]

Now I hag calpal tunnel thyndrome in my tongue!

Wouldn't that be "calpal tungle thyndrome"?

Re:Tongue operated...

[cayenne8]

I dunno. I once had a girlfriend that was 'tongue operated'.

Come to think of it...most ALL of them have been...

:-)

Re:My great uncle had quadriplegia...

[Anonymous Coward]

No offense to your great uncle, but you must really suck at video games if a quadriplegic kicked your ass with his chin.

Tastes like Link

[Altima(BoB)]

Who knows, maybe some games will be programmed to taste differently, like if you're playing Final Fantasy Tactics advance and one of your characters gets healed, a small dose of liquid or chemicals is released so it tastes like strawberries or chocolate. If one of your characters dies, citric acid would be sprayed in your eyes.

Like most are thinking, it's win-win. (Hey at least it wasn't a sex joke...)

Re:damn it

[TwistedSquare]

And yes, I know where I am. :)

You may know where you are, but surely you must be new here ;-) (PS Your post was right)

obligatory canine reference

[Anonymous Coward]

why do dogs lick themselves?

because they don't have advanced gameboys.

OS name

[Tom7]

The operating system should be called... CunnilingOS.

Man what a bummer

[RoderickMcDougall]

After 70 comments Roderick approached the comments page with excitement, for he had immediately come up with a witty, +5 FUNNY comment for the Gameboy Advance tongue controller story. Oh it was brilliant, so obvious and so incredibly witty

He paused a moment, silently making a prayer that nobody had thought of the "pR0n" implications for such a device, cackling with the sheer thought of the accolades raining down upon him he assured himself that he would be first to that punch.

Scrolling down the filthy cackle was replaced by a dismayed groan. 70 Demoralising comments regarding cunnalingus later he sighed and resigned himself to tell the harrowing story of how he was not as "original" as he had thought.

In the immortal words of Heath Ledger "Such is life"

Re:Think tank says ... don't buy it!

[Midnight Thunder]

Don't buy this product. The Alexis de Tongueville Institute has released an independent, objective, un-biased, and totally honest study which concludes that you should only buy Xbox video game hardware, and that video game products from Sony and Nintendo are directly responsible for terrorism and the collapse of the global economy.

Don't forget that they weren't orginal ideas, so we shouldn't even be giving them any points for that either.

Re:That's nice.

[Anonymous Coward]

We must have forgotten that the physically handicapped are incapable of having any sense of humor. On behalf of the physically-able, I apologize for our lack of sensitivity to our go-tard bretheren.

There are limits to my comedy. There are things that I'll never laugh at. The handicapped. Because there's nothing funny about them. Or any deformity. It's like when you see someone look at a little handicapped and go 'ooh, look at him, he's not able-bodied. I am, I'm prejudiced.' Yeah, well, at least the little handicapped fella is able-minded. Unless he's not, it's difficult to tell with the wheelchair ones.

Re:Great news for geeks

[hoggoth]

> Couple years of practice with these machines and they'll become super-popular with the women!
Or, wait... would that mean that they're no longer geeks?

Geek - eyes closed. Pale. Sweating. He rubs his hands on his knees repeatedly.
Hot Babe: How many times have you licked one of these?
Geek: Thirty-eight.... simulated.
Hot Babe: How many real ones?
Geek: Well... one. Including this one.

doesn't this article seem...

[ferrocene]

a little tongue-in-cheek to you? At least it was testefully done. It left a bad taste in my mouth though. The French version has a M rating I hear.

Re:Wait'll the porn industry gets hold of this!

[Anonymous Coward]

When does the version with the RumblePak come out?

Cool! So when...

[TrebleJunkie]

Cool! So when does, "Cunnilingus, Cunnilingus, Revolution!" ship?

Up.. Up.. down... down... left... right... down! *moan*

Re:Great news for geeks

[nacturation]

Get away from that Gameboy, you bitch!

Re:Wait'll the porn industry gets hold of this!

[multipartmixed]

> It certainly gives new meaning to "Licking" your opponents...
> just hope you don't whip their a**...

I was playing Quake (or was it Doom? -- LONG time ago!!) against a Russian friend of mine once. He had the rocket launcher and was hiding in a little cave waaay up on the first level (you know the one -- kill two grunts, go around a square wall into a room with an S curve and acid pools; look up and left).

Anyhow, he saw me running by, and told me he was going to lick my ass.

I laughed so hard, the little bastard actually managed to shoot me.

Re:Finally...

[the_mad_poster]

Stud? Ring?

Wait a minute.... why the hell am I asking for sex advice from someone on Slashdot!?

Re:Finally!

[Anonymous Coward]

Heh... This controller might end up making the Slashdot crowd instantly more popular with women once they realise what the combination of a geek with a video game addiction combined with a tongue controller receiving hour long workouts lead to....

Obligatory Clerks References

[Alzheimers]

Dante Hicks: Hey, try not to [Play any Gameboy!] on the way through the parking lot!

Dante Hicks: My girlfriend's [Played 37 Gameboys]!
Customer with Diapers: In a row?

Dante Hicks: I'm stuck in this pit, working for less than a slave wages. Working on my day off, the goddamn steel shutters are closed, I deal with every backward ass fuck on the planet. I smell like shoe polish. My ex-girlfriend is catatonic after fucking a dead guy. And my present girlfriend has [Played 36 Gameboys].
Randal Graves: 37

Re:Tongue operated...

[lpret]

You know, this could help geeks out. Imagine if there was a game based on the ability to get your girl off -- it'd be great training and just think of the bragging rights you'd have: "I'm a level nine pussy eater!"