The Xbox 360 Unveiled

You may or may not have caught the Xbox 360 unveiling on MTV Thursday night, but the internet will provide. A plethora of sites have photos, videos, commentary, specifications, and interviews about the new system. Your fellow readers have pulled together to provide links to: 1up.com, Joystiq, Gamespot, The BBC, CNN, NYT, Gamespy, Team Xbox, Voodoo Extreme, Anandtech, and eToyChest. The official Xbox 360 site opened last night as well for word straight from the source. For more official images Ourcolony.net has been 'solved', and now features an OurColony specific video preview. Finally, for commentary on the event, the Video Game Ombudsman provides an alternative to the press releases. From the post: "Kyle Orland (9:28:42 PM): The future of gaming is a girl in a blue dress? Dan Dormer (9:28:47 PM): The future of gaming is a girl with a bag? Kyle Orland (9:28:57 PM): She's the Xbox! OMG!"

For the Trolls

[Anonymous Coward]

The following is being offered free of charge to all those who feel the need to troll the Slashdot Games section. Please print out a copy and keep it with you at all times. If you follow these simple steps, you trolling is guaranteed to improve.

1. If a game is currently on PS2 and there are plans to bring it out on the Xbox, make sure to claim that no one will want to play that game by the time it gets to the Xbox. For example, by the time Virtua Fighter 4/GTA3 comes to the Xbox, we'll all be playing something new.
2. Use the reverse logic if it is a game only on the Xbox that may be ported to other systems/PC later. Case in point, Halo. Say something to the effect of "I'll wait for the true version of Halo on the PC". "It will be much better than the Xbox version".
3. Constantly complain about FPS on consoles ACCEPT for Goldeneye.
4. Always use Bill Gates name. Act as if he is the one making the games.
By all means, if you run out of clever or interesting things to troll about, just bring up Mr Gates. Lots of people hate him and will be glad to agree with you.
5. Complain about the XBox controller. Even if you have never seen or used it, it won't matter. People will believe you when you say it's big. Be sure and try to provide a testimonial about your wife or girlfriend or kid who complains about the size of it. Also claiming to be injured by the controller can be the foundation of a great troll post.
6. When referring to the Xbox, try to scew the name a bit. Xblox, eggs bocks, the stupider the name, the more favorable of a response you will get.
7. Be sure and mention Japanese and European sales numbers. If you aren't sure what those sales numbers are, go ahead and make something up. Estimate low, most people will believe you.
8. Although Xbox owners seem to enjoy there games, make sure to comment on Xbox not having any games with good gameplay. Although the Xbox does share some ports with PS2 and Gamecube, it's okay to assume that the Xbox version of those ports has poor gameplay as well.
9. Since the Xbox has nice graphics, be sure and find a way to put a negative spin on this. Using the age old formula that states if a game has nice graphics, it must have terrible gameplay, you can convince people that Xbox games are all tech demos.
10. Defective Xbox stories are excellent to use in trolling. The best part is that they require no proof. I find that "the screen just froze up" works great. Occasionally you can use something really bizarre like "My friend bought an Xbox and it caught on fire and burned down there house. Now they are homeless. F*** Bill Gates."
11. When all else fails, lie. There are lots of people who will agree with you just because they hate MS

30 minutes?

[RasendeRutje]

Jeez, a 30 minutes show, and no information at all, (except its uglyness and stupid name...)
... oh wait... its MTV what else could you expect?

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[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:But.

[BeyondALL]

But, another interesting question: Will it Run Longhorn? The spec is quite good, and it would be nice to have a full OS for all my multimedia needs..

Looks Well

[CleverNickedName]

Sleek, curvaceous, white exterior with no messy wires?

They should have called it "iBox".

Re:For the Trolls

[Alizarin Erythrosin]

6. When referring to the Xbox, try to scew the name a bit. Xblox, eggs bocks, the stupider the name, the more favorable of a response you will get.

I would also suggest calling it the "suXbox"

Re:For the Trolls

[Tx]

People will believe you when you say it's big. Be sure and try to provide a testimonial about your wife or girlfriend or kid who complains about the size of it.

That's just sick dude, leave the kids out of it ;-).

Free Jeff Minter VLM with every XBox 360 sold

[Kanon]

http://www.llamasoft.co.uk/neon-screenshots.php [llamasoft.co.uk]

Jeff Minter code in millions of households soon :)

Re:Looks Well

[Alizarin Erythrosin]

But why does it look strikingly similar to a white version of the Dell desktop I have sitting here on my desk at work?

Re:For the Trolls

[Anonymous Coward]

I bought an Xblox the other day, and I wish I hadn't. I guess the poor sales number should have warned me (since they only sold 3000 EggsBlockses in Europe, and 12 in Japan). I don't know what Bill Gates was thinking when he designed the controller, but it really hurts my hands. It's way too big!

I was playing a game with it once, and it started vibrating, jumped right out of my hands, and severely wounded a small child. Also, it's strained my fingers so much, I'm starting to have problems 'viewing' my Natalie Portman image collection! I'm going to sue Bill Gates!
Sure, some of the games may have nice graphics, but the gameplay is absolutely shocking. I tried to play Halo, but it's nothing but a tech demo!

You may not believe this, but it's actually impossible to shoot! I played for five minutes, and couldn't kill anything at all, so I took the game back to the shop. It has nothing on Goldeneye. I'm going to wait for the PC version, which should be much better.

Also, my son really wanted me to buy a console, so that he could play GTA3, so imagine my surprise when I found out it was not yet released on the Xbox! You're a nigger. He had to undergo therapy for several weeks - but I'll get the money back from Bill Gates when I sue him.

I'm going to sell my XSocks on Ebay now. It'll probably cost me a lot in shipping, because it's really heavy. Bill Gates designed it that way, because he likes to hit immigrants over the head with his. I'll never buy another M$ product!"

Re:For the Trolls

[KDR_11k]

He's offering something for the grammar trolls as well.

iPod killer

[Chaos_Thoery]

Bill Gates said he would bring down Apple's iPod one way or the other. I just don't know whether making it larger and providing less hard disk space is the way to go about it!

xbox360: dnf

[goodgoing]

I was just browsing through the xbox360 games on 1up, and apparently duke nukem forever is going to be released on it...

http://www.1up.com/do/gameOverview?cId=3140411 [1up.com]

Re:Wow...

[Marthisdil]

Me too - you not buying one will make it easier for me to buy 3 of them the day they come out :)

Why 360?

[Per Abrahamsen]

I associate the number 360 with some clunky old IBM mainframes. The CPU is from IBM, but that is hardly the intended association.

It could be 360 degree vision. Does the console have souround video :)

What's in a name?

[Stonewolf57]

Xbox 360? Isn't that kinda like saying we turned our new product completely around (figuratively speaking) so we could send it in same direction as the old one? Talk about a vote for uncreativity :p Yes, I did hear it was a nod to the skateboarding community. Why? And if so why not just call it the Xbox 180? It would make more sense. Go figure.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:Why this strategy from MS?

[slntnsnty]

Almost sounded rational until you got to the part about "we have several ipod killers in various stages of development"

Then I realized you were a Bill Gates impersonator.

Re:30 minutes?

[slapout]

MTV -- "Music Television"

its MTV what else could you expect?

Certainly not music.

Re:For the Trolls

[Otter]

Also, you have to to end with "Anyway, I only bought one because Bill Gates loses money on each one they sell."

Re:For the Trolls

[Breakfast Pants]

With the ACCEPTION of general overuse of commas, I don't know what you are talking about.

Re:But.

[Anonymous Coward]

I thought the average SD reader was supposed to be intelligent?

Compact Flash readers are smarter :)

Re:30 minutes?

[CFTM]

And if I can hurt those feelings, I think I've had a pretty good day. As far as I'm concerned the Simpson family is waisting my precious oxygen, as is the hilton family, the ritche family, the reid family (I had the misfortune of going to college with Tara's younger sister...imagine Tara fat and ugly) and I could continue this list on ad naseum but I shall refrain from trolling anymore than I already have this morning...sorta like crack got get me some to start the day!

Not about the games?!

[Anonymous Coward]

With the Xbox 360, Microsoft is announcing that it's not just about games anymore.

Boy! That's just what us gamers wanted to hear! A new gaming console, but it's not just for games! wiippeee! Yahooo! Yehawww!

/sarcasm

Re:PowerPC CPU?

[artemis67]

The Xbox360 CPU will probably be very fast performing well-defined number cruching tasks with little branching and logic (e.g. physics processing), but bad at game logic (e.g. AI), compared to current general purpose PPC or AMD64 hardware.

Ah, that explains why the XBox 360 will be shipping with Excel Spreadsheet: The Game.

Re:For the Trolls

[bhsx]

1. Noone will want to play Madden 2002 by the time it gets to Xbox.
2. I'll wait for the GNU/Linux version of Tony Hawk American Wasteland, thank you very much!
3. I have yet to see decent FPS in consoles lately, I mean I used to get ~22 FPS in Goldeneye.
4. Besides, Bill Gates writes shitty games.
5. The Xbox controller ate my baby!
6. Also, couldn't they have come-up with something more original than Xbochs? I mean, haven't we all (besides slow-ass Debian) switched to Xorg-bochs now anyway?
7. The Japanese are nuts about consoles, but you know what? Xbox 360 has sold ZERO, that's right, ZERO units there (I'm not making this stuff up!)
8. The Xbox port of GTA ate my baby!
9. Um, Xbox games are all tech demos, very little actual gameplay involved my friend.
10. My mom washed my Xbox, and it BLEW UP!
11. I have an Xbox 360 and it sucks. I use it now for weighing down my paninis.
And may I add, WTF? You know these listed posts are supposed to start with 0, right? HAND

Re:But.

[MKalus]

Oh that would be spiffy, then I could finally run Windows on my PowerMac!!!!!!!

Just what I am waiting for, this Mac OS X thing just isn't all it is cracked up to be. I am always happy when I can work at XP here at work (although it looks like Mac OS X for some reason).

169 XBOXs sold in Japan last week

[dstyle5]

7. Be sure and mention Japanese and European sales numbers. If you aren't sure what those sales numbers are, go ahead and make something up. Estimate low, most people will believe you.

According to this http://game-science.com/news/001076.html/ [game-science.com] article, the XBOX sold a whopping 169 units in Japan last week, and 6,529 for the whole year. At the other end of the spectrum, the Nintendo DS sold 67,863 units last week. Clearly the XBOX is not doing very well in Japan.

*** Disclaimer - I own a xb0KZzzz ;)