Real Life Questing For Gold

The Escapist has a funny piece that reveals why real life quests are hard to complete. From the article: "I should explain the scenario. I, the brave wizard, had transferred through a portal into this dimension, but could not leave the spot on which I stood. It was imperative to the survival of the universe that the magic spell I held (a rolled up scroll of paper, engagingly tied with a purple ribbon) be given to the girl in the red cloak and hood, waiting outside what you humans call 'the shoe shop,' 300 yards down the road. Upon completion of this vital task, a bag of gold coins would be given as a reward. In my dimension, chocolate coins are of the very highest worth. Would anyone go out of their way for me, in order to be the savior of all mankind, for the prize of a bag of candy?"

Funny article...

[TopShelf]

But after reading the article, I'm convinced guys like this really are better off staying in their parents' basement.

from TFA

[argStyopa]

And if one thing should be taken from this experience, above anything else, should the fate of the universe ever be in your hands, only bother to seek the aid of girls under the age of 30.

Or, should you want just about anything else - happiness, fun, etc. look there too. At least in my experience.

I'm not gonna read the article

[Microlith]

Until he tells me where I can find Mithril and Truesilver deposits.

It's been tried...

[T-Bucket]

Come on, who didn't try this in high school? You stand out in front of a liquor store and offer a simple "quest" to the various passers-by... Very rarely does it work, and sometimes you aggro some nasty stuff...

I cast a spell

[Megane]

Guy in Kitchen: I'M GOING TO GET A SODA, ANYONE WANT ONE? HEY GRAHAM I'M NOT IN THE ROOM RIGHT?
Graham: What room?
Galstaff: I wanna cast... Magic Missile!
Guy in Kitchen: THE ROOM WHERE HE'S CASTING ALL THESE SPELLS FROM!
Graham: He hasn't cast anything yet!
Galstaff: I am though if you'd listen. I'm casting Magic Missile!
Graham: Why are you casting Magic Missile? There's nothing to attack here.
Galstaff: I... I'm attacking the darkness!
(LAUGHTER FROM ALL)
Graham: Fine, fine... you attack the darkness. There's an elf in front of you.

Re:Article Text

[p88h]

well, if you do have to ask..

I, Abu Daba of Nigeria, Son Of the Lately Deceased General Daba, require your assistance in an enterprise of mutual benefits...

But beware of the agents...

[D4C5CE]

And if one thing should be taken from this experience, above anything else, should the fate of the universe ever be in your hands, only bother to seek the aid of girls under the age of 30.

Not from this one, however...

the girl in the red cloak and hood

...as you'd better realize that she is in fact the sentient Agent Smith.