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Uwe Boll Has Three Picture Distribution Deal 63

Posted by Zonk
from the for-the-love-of-all-that-is-holy-make-the-burning-stop dept.
1up is reporting that famed, beloved film-maker Uwe Boll has landed a three-picture deal with a company called FreeStyle. They're going to be releasing three Boll-helmed films to theatres across the country. The three films are Postal, Dungeon Siege, and an original work by the director called Seed. "The high-profile cast of In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale -- Jason Statham, Ray Liotta, Ron Perlman, Leelee Sobieski, John Rhys-Davies, Matthew Lillard and Burt Reynolds -- means Freestyle's putting their muscle behind the fantasy epic. Opening January 18, 2008, the film's scheduled to appear in at least 2,500 screens -- a nice score for Boll, considering BloodRayne's distribution problems."
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Uwe Boll Has Three Picture Distribution Deal

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  • by Chris Burke (6130) on Friday June 08, 2007 @01:09PM (#19441109) Homepage
    I saw the headline that said "three pictures" as in still images and thought to myself "Yeah, that's about the right length for a Uwe Boll film".
  • by Puff of Logic (895805) on Friday June 08, 2007 @01:12PM (#19441165)
    Am I the only one who involuntarily flinches whenever news comes out about movies based on games? I swear, it's an actual physical reaction to mental trauma!
  • by WidescreenFreak (830043) on Friday June 08, 2007 @01:15PM (#19441257) Homepage Journal
    "considering Bloodrayne's distribution problems"??? You're joking right? The problem was that Bloodrayne was distributed at all! *shudder* And once again he's trying to hide his pathetic movie making "skills" with some high-profile name. Hey, if Ben Kingsley and that honey Kristianna Lokken couldn't save Bloodrayne I'm not sure how he thinks that doing it again will someone work. Apparently, this company that's giving him these three films has not heard of the phrase about learning from history.

    Ooh. I'd better be careful lest Boll challenge me to a boxing match. Unfortunately, he's a better boxer than filmmaker. Then again, he probably does everything better than filmmaking. :P
  • Problems (Score:2, Funny)

    by Bugs42 (788576) <superjambob&gmail,com> on Friday June 08, 2007 @01:16PM (#19441285)

    Opening January 18, 2008, the film's scheduled to appear in at least 2,500 screens -- a nice score for Boll, considering BloodRayne's distribution problems.
    Silly me, and here I was thinking that BloodRayne's failure was due to it being a crap movie.
  • by frosty_tsm (933163) on Friday June 08, 2007 @01:22PM (#19441371)
    John Rhys-Davies just wants to be a dwarf again.
  • by Sciros (986030) on Friday June 08, 2007 @01:32PM (#19441603) Journal
    Uwe Boll is my favorite movie director and producer, and fight choreographer of all time. He should make a movie a week because I would watch them all! Bloodrayne was one of the best movies ever because of Kristanna's amazing breasts and Billy Zane's pimp toupee that looked like he kept it in a pocket right up until the camera started rolling in every scene and hastily kinda just slapped it on, barely checking if it was even right-side-up.

    Forget Peter Jackson and Halo. Uwe Boll is the only man for that job. And for Zelda as well. I can't wait for his awesome Oscar-sweeping epic Dungeon Siege movie; I assume Burt Reynolds plays the donkey.
  • Finally! (Score:2, Funny)

    by brainlessbob (973044) on Friday June 08, 2007 @01:39PM (#19441729)
    His movies gets the attention they deserves and I hope it atleast ends the overall negative publicity his movies gets. They may not be masterpieces but they definently are alot better than what many says.
  • by Dewser (853519) on Friday June 08, 2007 @02:07PM (#19442201)
    I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

    Why hasn't someone taken this man's movie making license away!!!??? And what frickin suckers would give this guy money to make movies in the first place?????

    The best scene in Bloodrayne was Meatloaf's naked vamp chick harem, then you he actually had to throw meatloaf in that scene which took it down a bunch of notches.

    I saw a brief story a while back on Postal and thought to myself, um, like the game REALLY didn't have much of a story line. It was pretty much "I've lost it, oo a gun! BANG BANG BANG!!!! I regret nothing" and blows off his head. How in the world could you figure that would make a good 1:30 movie?

    Damn it Jack Thompson use your ignorance to do some good and stop Uwe Bolle from making movies!
  • by Z0mb1eman (629653) on Friday June 08, 2007 @04:00PM (#19444143) Homepage
    How do you pronounce "Uwe Boll"? The closest I can come to is "you bowl", which doesn't sound like a name.

    You know, so I can tell people to avoid his movies.
  • by Ray Radlein (711289) on Friday June 08, 2007 @06:30PM (#19445909) Homepage
    "Eeeew! Blows!"
  • by Anonymous Coward on Saturday June 09, 2007 @04:53AM (#19449351)
    the existence of Uwe Boll proves that there is no God!

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