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Duke Nukem Forever 'Confirmed' For Late 2008 344

Posted by Zonk
from the funny-weird-not-funny-ha-ha dept.
An anonymous reader writes "A Dallas newspaper is claiming that the long-in-development title Duke Nukem Forever is headed for retail release in late 2008. Unfortunately, game creator 3D Realms says that's not exactly what they meant. 'What the modest Texas newspaper actually seems to suggest is that 3D Realms is "on target" to release the mythical sequel sometime this year, though company president Scott Miller adds, "we may miss the mark by a month or two" (wink, wink). Miller also hinted that "hitting the big three" (in this case, PC, Xbox 360 and PS3) is the obvious development strategy, but he continued to stress that 3D Realms has not "formally announced any platforms for DNF."'"
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Duke Nukem Forever 'Confirmed' For Late 2008

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  • by shawn(at)fsu (447153) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @02:45PM (#22323660) Homepage
    Now it's just sad.

  • by FredFredrickson (1177871) * on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @02:45PM (#22323674) Homepage Journal
    Nopers, still vaporware. http://www.shacknews.com/onearticle.x/51163 [shacknews.com]

    Seriously people, 3D Realms told us time, and time again. They will announce it on their site when it's real. Stop falling for this.

    That being said, this still made my heart skip a beat.. or four
  • by jellomizer (103300) * on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @02:46PM (#22323686)
    That is the time I am expected to finish solving the Towers of Henoi by hand...
  • 12 Years (Score:4, Insightful)

    by aphxtwn (702841) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @02:47PM (#22323698)
    Are the people who played this game 12 years ago still playing video games now?
    • Re:12 Years (Score:5, Insightful)

      by orclevegam (940336) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @02:50PM (#22323740) Journal

      Are the people who played this game 12 years ago still playing video games now?
      Yes.
    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by malkavian (9512)
      I played games on a computer 30 years ago.. And still play now..
      Interestingly, Nintendo noticed that there was a tendancy for companies to market to the under 25 market.. And chose to open up the Wii to the older population segment.. And it seems to be doing rather well for that..
    • Yes. I spent many, many hours playing Duke single player, then playing online over the now long dead TEN network. I played it pretty constantly for around a year. Hell, when I played it, I'd already been playing video games for ten years. I have been playing since the days of Castle Wolfenstein [wikipedia.org]. (And no, I do not mean the game from id that was the first fps.) The first console I ever had was a pong set my parents bought new when I was twelve. That was thirty years ago.

      Last night, I spent an hour play
    • by Nimey (114278)
      Sonny, I've been playing video games since I was two, and I'm 28 now.

      Get off my lawn.
    • Re:12 Years (Score:4, Interesting)

      by _Pablo (126574) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @03:47PM (#22324522)
      I (36, Married, 2 kids) play in a clan where the minimum age is 25 and the oldest players are in their sixties. We have around a hundred members signed up (even a few of the fairer sex) with a good portion of them playing regularly (few nights a week).

      The clan plays just about anything with COD4 being the current favorite (30 people in the COD4 channel last night) - so if DNF actually turns out to be even remotely worth the wait with a good multiplayer element then I am pretty sure it'll get played.

      I'll wager there will be quite a few 30+ gamers slapping down their cash (or firing up their torrent for evaluation purposes) to see what 12 years of development has done (and what pixel shader lap dancers look like :P).
    • 12 years ago
      wtf? I just played DN3D a couple days ago. Jeesh.

      Some of us haven't moved on with our lives, you know!
    • Just over ten years ago, in 1997 my girlfriend and I danced around the apartment for at least fifteen minutes after she had finally killed the giant boss in the arena with (if my elderly memory serves me correctly,) the machine-gun. It was by far the best and hardest victory over a computer game ever and even getting the Warthog to the spaceship in Halo 1 was well.. an anti-climax. The Duke's hilarious remarks were killer, one of the best being "In an ideal world, you'd already be dead." and "Shake it baby,
    • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

      by Lord Ender (156273)
      Wow. You're out of touch. The average age of video gamers is somewhere around thirty. Any Wall Street analyst will tell you this. That's why video game stocks have taken off recently. Games aren't just for kids anymore. Adults with big incomes have jumped in to the scene with both feet.

      Of course, if you played at all, you would know this without Well Street's studies. Nine out of ten voices you hear on Team Fortress 2 VoIP are clearly those of adults.
  • by OglinTatas (710589) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @02:48PM (#22323710)
    on my Infinuim Phantom console!
  • by Eric(b0mb)Dennis (629047) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @02:48PM (#22323712)
    This will go down as the greatest joke in gaming history.

    I can't wait for the actual game to come out, for an amazingly low price! Gamers pop it into their ready computer, suddenly a huge picture of duke comes up with the oh so famous "I've got balls of steel" soundclip, follow by a picture of those at 3drealms.

    After this is done, it will immediately be followed by Rick Astley's newest single.
  • Forver (Score:4, Funny)

    by whtmarker (1060730) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @02:50PM (#22323734) Homepage
    Don't hold your breath, you just might be holding it 'Forever'.
  • by markov_chain (202465) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @02:51PM (#22323746) Homepage
    The game has gone gold, but they are still waiting for their Moller to fly the master over to the factory.
  • by djones101 (1021277) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @02:51PM (#22323758)
    A press release from the White House recently stated that Hell hath frozen over. Spokesmen close to the President hail this as a significant advance in the war against terror.
    • by enderjsv (1128541) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @04:03PM (#22324710)
      In other news, an American Airlines commercial airliner crashed just outside of Dallas today after colliding with a flock of flying pigs. Officials are uncertain whether the pigs were members of a terrorist cell organization, or simply the result of Duke Nukem's announced release. We'll keep you posted.
  • Yeah (Score:5, Funny)

    by morgan_greywolf (835522) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @02:51PM (#22323760) Homepage Journal
    Yeah, I heard it'll be released right alongside Microsoft Flight Simulator: Porcine Edition.

  • by sm62704 (957197) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @02:52PM (#22323778) Journal
    My ex-wife, Evil-X, AKA "Satan", moved to Springfield from Chatham last year, effectively making Springfield "Hell, Illinois".

    It's snowing as I type this.

    Does George read slashdot, I wonder? Does he still post at Planet Crap? Is Planet Crap still online even? DN4ever has taken so long I'm not only not looking 4ward to it anymore, I haven't played anything but "Road Rash" in ages. Oh wait, I played "guitar hero" with my great nephew last Christmas, that game ROCKS!

    As to what took it so long, George and Charlie were waiting until their toddlers were old enough to buy it (NC17, right? Or am I thinking of movies? Damn, speaking of DN4ever I'm getting old.

    I was playing Duke Nukem since he was a squeaky little side scroller. I wonder if he still has hair and teeth?

    -mcgrew

    PS- GET OFF MY LAWN!!
  • by Isauq (730660) <trent.arms@gmail.com> on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @02:53PM (#22323788) Journal
    I think itwould be kind of tragic if did come out, actually. We'd need to find a new persistent vaporware joke. :(
  • I don't know what to believe anymore.
  • Noooooo! (Score:5, Funny)

    by Slovenian6474 (964968) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @02:53PM (#22323794) Homepage
    Why stop now? I mean, is it Directx 10.1? If not, I'm going to be disappointed. The ONLY solution, rewrite it with the newest tech.
  • by orclevegam (940336) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @02:54PM (#22323798) Journal
    How can people honestly believe they're "on target" for a release this year when they haven't even nailed down which platforms they're going to be targeting? Now, with cross-platform libraries you can hit a couple of them at a time of course, but even then a certain degree of work needs to be done on the ports, plus all kinds of licensing and such. Sorry, this is the worlds longest running practical joke, and every gamer that believes anything about DNF without actually holding the finished product in their hands is just being suckered in by the joke.
    • by UID30 (176734)

      Sorry, this is the worlds longest running practical joke
      You've obviously never been to Cleveland.
    • by elrous0 (869638) *
      The only thing they're "on target" for a this point is a huge class-action lawsuit from all the investors dumb enough to sink money in this obvious piece of vaporware over the last ten years.
    • It's coming out exclusively on Playstation 4.
  • by syrinx (106469) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @02:58PM (#22323860) Homepage
    I like the "big three" not including the Wii. Might want to check the sales figures again, Scott.

    Scott Miller also predicted a couple years ago that the Wii would finish "a distant third" and that it could mean the end of Nintendo, or something along those lines.

    It's kinda sad to see the guy who wrote the Kroz series become obsessed with graphics at the expense of gameplay. Though then again, most of Apogee's game weren't especially innovative gameplay-wise, a lot of their success at the time was based on marketing (the episodic shareware model and so on). Plus after the first few years Apogee mainly started publishing others' games (id being the most famous, but a lot of other smaller companies as well), not doing much of their own stuff. So maybe it's never really been about gameplay for him, in which case it makes perfect sense for him to advocate for the PS3.
  • Way to completely rip this from Joystiq [joystiq.com]. Could have at least changed a few words.
  • yeah, right (Score:5, Insightful)

    by jollyreaper (513215) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @03:03PM (#22323944)
    The day Duke Forever is released, I will be looking up at the sky to see which of the other seals of the apocalypse have broken.
  • netcraft? (Score:2, Funny)

    by FunkyELF (609131)
    Did netcraft confirm it?
  • ... damn lies... and DNF release dates.

    I'll believe it when I see it. Until then, I will continue to feed my flying pigs.
  • Point of comparison (Score:4, Interesting)

    by lpangelrob (714473) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @03:13PM (#22324078)
    Super Mario Galaxy took 5 years to develop. It was originally to be a Gamecube title after about 2 years of development, but obviously the extra 2-3 years spent in development were time well spent, even if it meant missing the Wii launch.

    I somehow can't imagine the last 7+ years has been development time well spent.
  • So what?! Hell, I doubt that the graphics or game play could meet the expectations of todays typical shooters!
  • by Kozar_The_Malignant (738483) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @03:15PM (#22324124)
    2008 on which calendar? I'm betting on the Islamic calendar, where the current year is 1429.
  • The end is nye! Everyone scramble for your bomb shelters and tinfoil hats!

    Unless, unless some brave soul can stop the release of this game... all hell will break loose and the world will end.

    Won't somebody pick up a big fucking gun and stop the release of Duke Nukem Forever?
  • Duke Nukem Forever was confirmed as late in 1998!

    even their late announcement is late.
  • this story is a dupe ;-)
  • by Orleron (835910) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @03:34PM (#22324340) Homepage
    ...DNF finishes YOU.
  • I hear the in-game soundtrack is going to be Guns N' Roses' Chinese Democracy.
  • Can I STILL play it on a DOS box?
  • Sometimes I think they really have canned the Duke Nukem forever project. They just have one guy over there at 3Drealms whose job it is to come up with fake press releases once every six months or so, detailing the progress of Duke Nukem Forever. It might even be a rotation position, sorta've like a community service outreach for down and out liberal arts majors.

    Hell, maybe they never even started DNF, and it's just an excuse for some kind of elaborate tax write-off?
  • What he really meant was the PSX, Saturn, and Nintendo's new "hush hush" next gen, Dolphin.

  • How? (Score:5, Interesting)

    by slapout (93640) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @04:43PM (#22325224)
    How is 3D Realms staying in business? Do they have any other games bringing in money?
  • by Cervantes (612861) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @05:56PM (#22326138) Journal
    For all those people posting "What about Wii" comments...

    Did you ever play Duke Nukem?

    Can you imagine some of the gestures they'd include in a Wii version??

    Do you really think Nintendo would do anything other than gag and possibly pass out, upon seeing the demo???

    Yeah, no way they'd get licensed.
  • by pecosdave (536896) on Wednesday February 06, 2008 @07:50PM (#22327348) Homepage Journal
    Viva la 64 bit revolution!
  • by PHanT0 (148738) on Thursday February 07, 2008 @04:44AM (#22331148)
    "I work at 3D Realms..."
    "Really? What's that like?"
    "It's pretty sweet... we sit around a dream up cool stuff based on a 10 year piece of software..."
    "A what do you do with these ideas?"
    "Press releases, screen mock-ups, teaser trailers... that sort of thing."
    "That doesn't sound like a whole lot of work..."
    "Nope... we pretty much just like the sound of fake deadlines."
    "Fake?"
    "Yeah... it's nice to have a boss and investors who don't really care about releasing actual product."
    "I wish my boss would take a page out of that book..."
    "Who do you work for?"
    "Microsoft..."
    *snicker*

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