The Duke Is Finally Back, For Real 309
After the first announcement on 1997-04-27 and over eleven years of fresh start after fresh start, Duke Nukem Forever finally comes to your system. At least if your system is an Xbox 360. Jon Siegler, the webmaster of 3D Realms, confirms this on their site: "As has been reported around the net today, we can confirm that the game has indeed passed final certification with Microsoft on Friday the 15th of August (on our first try, no less). That means the game is done — it is now in the hands of Microsoft." Update: 08/19 10:47 GMT by T : Several readers have written with a correction: this announcement is actually about Duke Nukem 3D, rather than Duke Nukem Forever.
Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Funny)
It's in Microsoft's hands now, so all I'm seeing are chairs...
I knew it (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Funny)
It's NOT just you my friend.
The moment I read it... I felt this enormous pain in my stomach. It got worse and worse to the point where I was heaving with my face on the keyboard. I felt my cheeks ripping apart and out came this little winged monkey. With a fez hat. He just handed me the game, gave me the thumbs up signal and flew out the window.
No skiing for Satan yet (Score:3, Funny)
The announcement is about Duke Nukem 3D on XBLA, not Duke Nukem Forever.
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:3, Funny)
Nah, its still never coming out to PC, shitting all over the fans who have actually been anticipating this, the duke is dead to me.
Moderated: +1 Surly
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Funny)
Nothing to see here, move along... (Score:2, Funny)
it is now in the hands of Microsoft.
Given how long it was taking, I was under the impression that it had been in their hands all along!
Re:I knew it (Score:5, Funny)
"Dawn is in trouble? It must be tuesday."
Re:I knew it (Score:3, Funny)
I've always known that the Apocalypse would fall on a Tuesday.
Don't worry, we're working on a zero-day patch for this.
Amazing (Score:5, Funny)
Results 1 - 10 of about 852 from slashdot.org for duke nukem forever.
Lets hope the game actually gets released before we have to read another 800+ articles about it
Re:Cmon, atleast get it right! (Score:3, Funny)
You mean Microsoft finally has the hardware to make Duke Nukem playable after all these years?
Stick to software, guys...
Re:3D not Forever (Score:4, Funny)
I knew the story must be wrong when it said Duke Nukem Forever was being released. That's not something that happens so it's clearly nonsense.
Re:A sign... (Score:4, Funny)
No, /. editors not checking the actually story is not a sign of the Apocalypse.
It's more on the scale of "a sign that /. is not a real news source".
Given your low uid, if you haven't realised this by now its probably something you shouldn't worry about...
Re:A sign... (Score:5, Funny)
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria... Duke Nukem Forever
Look on the bright side... (Score:3, Funny)
If it had *actually* been Duke Nukem Forever being released, this particular Slashdot meme would be forever dead... I mean, what else would there be for us to complain about?
Re:I knew it (Score:3, Funny)
No, this must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:3, Funny)
Having the front page with every single link a rickroll? Now THAT would be funny!
YouTube already did it.
Not yet... (Score:1, Funny)
Everybody knows that Duke will be released on December 21, 2012, to coinside with the end of the world [religioustolerance.org]! :)
PS to lameness filter:
just let me post this, will you?!
I am human darn'it!
What, I fail the turing test now?
And I thought women were hard to please!
1 2 3 what am I suppose to say to make you love me?
Oh, fsck it...
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Funny)
You should have taken a picture and posted it on the net. It would have become an instant shock site classic!
You could have called it monkeyse!
I'm so screwed (Score:5, Funny)
After I read the summary I called my boss at home and quit. I then drained our bank account and blew it all on hookers and booze. Now you tell me it was false alarm????? When my wife wakes up what she'll do will make the Apocalypse look like a trip to Disneyland. Note to editors, please fact check articles before posting summaries.
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Funny)
It's NOT just you my friend.
The moment I read it... I felt this enormous pain in my stomach. It got worse and worse to the point where I was heaving with my face on the keyboard. I felt my cheeks ripping apart and out came this little winged monkey. With a fez hat. He just handed me the game, gave me the thumbs up signal and flew out the window.
That was NOT the thumbs up signal. That was the beginning of Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A B A.
Apocalyps Now! (Score:2, Funny)
w00sh, w00sh, w00sh, w00sh, w00sh...
Xbox 360... shit; I'm still only coding for Xbox 360... Every time I think I'm gonna wake up back behind my pc coding Duke Nukem Forever forever. When I was home after my first checkin it was worse. I'd wake up and there'd be nothing. I hardly said a word to my wife, until I said "yes" to a divorce. When I was here, I wanted to be there; when I was there, all I could think of was getting back into the source code. I'm here a week now... waiting for a lock... getting softer; every minute I stay in this room, I get weaker, and every minute Microsoft squats in the log files, he gets stronger. Each time I looked around, the walls moved in a little tighter.
Re:Look on the bright side... (Score:1, Funny)
editors?
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Wrong... (Score:5, Funny)
When noone else RTFA on /. why would the editors?
Much love /.
Re:I knew it (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Duke 3d, not DNF (Score:3, Funny)
I'll go back to pining away now...
Re:I knew it (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:4, Funny)
You must be in S. Florida. That's the storm blowing them around. Duke Nukem Forever wasn't released. :)
Re:Not DNF (Score:3, Funny)
Yep, it's Duke Nukem Updated For The Time Being. Just shows the advantages and limitations of agile methods.
Re:I'm so screwed (Score:2, Funny)
Don't be so ridiculous.
There's no way you have a wife.
Re:I knew it (Score:4, Funny)
Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes,
they've got those hoppy legs and twitchy little noses,
and whats with all the carrots? What do they need such good eyesite for anyway?!?!?
Bunnies! Bunnies!! it must be BUNNIES!!!
Re:I'm so screwed (Score:5, Funny)
After I read the summary I went and bought a Mac Pro, so you're relatively better off.
Accurate (Score:3, Funny)
The article doesn't lie!
The Duke Nukem episodes ARE going to go on forever.
Re:I'm so screwed (Score:5, Funny)
Heaven (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Funny)
Insightful?
Seriously, mods?
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Could SOMEONE PLEASE EDIT... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Heaven (Score:3, Funny)
...unless of course you're not one of the 144k chosen (electons all rays cause explosions.)
Re:I'm so screwed (Score:2, Funny)
Note to editors, please fact check articles before posting summaries
Now that was the funniest part of your post!
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I'm so screwed (Score:5, Funny)
Note to editors, please fact check articles before posting summaries.
Now that would be a sure sign of the Apocalypse.
Re:A sign... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Heaven (Score:5, Funny)
Who knew that that limitation was due to storage space all along. I look forward to the new 18-bit heaven.
Re:A sign... (Score:2, Funny)
> Get off my lawn
Get off my pile of rocks.
Re:I'm so screwed (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Heaven (Score:2, Funny)
640K ought to be enough for any afterlife.
Re:Yep (Score:5, Funny)
We're not the ones with a decade of bullshit promises that we've never delivered on.
You're thinking of Will Wright. The DNF team has been making promises for more than a decade.
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:3, Funny)
(Note: From SW Florida)
Storm? I've seen more impressive winds coming out of a sneeze.
thank fucking cthulhu for this one (Score:5, Funny)
Tropical storm blowing outside, sky all dark, internet out so I'm having to use neighbor's wifi, and now I thought for a moment Duke Nuke'em Forever was finally coming out. I expected to see another sign of the apocalypse at any moment!
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:4, Funny)
Re:I'm so screwed (Score:3, Funny)
I think he meant "Than now what..."
Re:I'm so screwed (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I knew it (Score:3, Funny)
Don't be silly. The four horsemen of the apocalypse are death, war, famine and BSOD.
Re:I'm so screwed (Score:3, Funny)
Note to editors, please fact check articles before posting summaries.
The editors don't fact or dupe check and we don't read the articles. It's a little understanding we have around here.
Who tagged it "epicfail," though? (Score:4, Funny)
DN3D != DNF
Article Summary == Wrong
Editors == Fail
Yes, but who tagged it "epicfail?"
It's "3D Realms" that failed, not Epic.
Clearly, that's an entirely different company.
Re:I'm so screwed (Score:4, Funny)
* - Don't do this, please. I honestly don't usually enjoy stupid clients, and this is all a joke anyhow.
** - Tied with "sorry" as the most expensive word in the law.
Re:Hell has frozen over (Score:3, Funny)
At least Duke Nukem 3D is done!
Re:I'm so screwed (Score:3, Funny)