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Square Enix Standalone TV Sword Mayhem 41

Sodakar writes "Square Enix announced today that they will be releasing the latest game in their popular Dragon Quest series in Japan on September 19th, for 6,980 yen (around $50). Not only are you required to swing a sword controller at the screen in order to defeat the enemy, the game doesn't require a console - the sword plugs directly into the TV via A/V cables. Here's some photos of the system, and the official news page. I'll be looking forward to a news blurb about some kid stabbing his TV."
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Square Enix Standalone TV Sword Mayhem

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  • Mom: Quit playing that game and go do your homework

    Kid (using sword attached to TV): n0 w4y! SuX0r! ph34r m3!! (Kid begins swinging sword violently at mother)

    Alternate scenario: mom grabs sword attached to TV and whips kid's monkey a$$ with it

  • Joe McFat sues a local import company after breaking his own 100 pound right arm while attempting to swing a small plastic sword.
  • When they say "latest in the series" I believe they're just referring to another game with the DQ label. This definitely isn't Dragon Quest 8...

    But still.... Cool!
    When are they going to come out with the real-life magic spells in place of the in game ones? Hey, it just makes it that much more immersive...
    • Magic spells (Score:4, Interesting)

      by ( 629916 ) on Friday July 04, 2003 @07:06PM (#6369649) Homepage
      Not exactly real-life, but it would be fun if I can do magic spells with a voice-recognition system.
      • by Synic ( 14430 )
        "I cast magic missile!"
        "At what?? There's nothing there!"
        "At the darkness!"
      • Re:Magic spells (Score:3, Interesting)

        "Not exactly real-life, but it would be fun if I can do magic spells with a voice-recognition system."

        Actually, I always thought it would be cooler if you could have gloves that would track hand movements in game. And to cast spells, you had to perform the somatic components of the spell. It'd be even cooler if your character mimicked your movements, even if they weren't correct, so you could watch and make new spells/practice old spells.

        • Whoa, a use for the Powerglove...
          • "Whoa, a use for the Powerglove..."

            I know you were only joking...but the powerglove would not be feasible since it simply translated certain movements into button presses. Basically a glorified controller. What I'm talking about would be a glove that would translate movement into ingame movement and have the game react to the movements accordingly. You slash a certain does your character. Hold a gun with two of these gloves, and suddenly CS gets a whole new level of realism.

  • The player will be limited by how long he/she can hold that thing before his/her arm falls off.

    Plastic is not heavy but after about 20 minutes it will feel like it weights 200 lbs

  • That's not a sword. Now this is a sword []!
  • Anyone else having doubts about the collective sanity of a certain supposedly large and powerful company?

    Someone, please, for the sake of the last of my childhood memories, tell me that this is a hoax! First Lucas rapes the Star Wars franchise, then Link's head mushrooms to Charlie Brown proportions, now this! How will I ever play Chrono Trigger with a straight face again, after Square releases a gimmicky controller?

    Oh, wait a second, it's Dragon Quest. Just "Clueless-R-Us" Enix at its usual antics again.
  • Now we can all act out our favourite Highlander episodes, and score points. Neato!

    And of course, video games do not effect children
  • The are terrible even compared to the Gameboy Advance
  • Or some kid stabbing himself. That oughta learn 'em.
  • Linux (Score:3, Funny)

    by jnguy ( 683993 ) on Friday July 04, 2003 @08:40PM (#6370041) Homepage
    Hey, its another game system, lets put linux on that!!! I'll give you 100,000 to do it :)
  • I want one that will let me decapitate news casters and political commentators in real time.
  • by Picass0 ( 147474 ) on Saturday July 05, 2003 @11:01AM (#6372296) Homepage Journal
    A geek (by some amazing act of god) gets a hot chick to come home with him. They head straight for his mom's basement.

    Hottie: Oooo... baby! It's so.. dark.. in here. Um, I just stepped on an action figure.

    Geek: (add slupping braces lisp) Carded or loose?!? Ah shit! It was Boba Fett with the closed circle!!!

    Geek takes a moment to dry to tears from his freshly taped glasses)

    Hottie: [awkward silence] Sorry. Um, there's your sofa. (coyly) Maybe we could watch something romantic on TV!!!

    Geek: Oh yeah!!! And I could show you my sword!!

    Hottie: What the Fuck!?! You assume a lot!

    Geek: No wait! Let me get it out! I'll teach you how to handle it!!!

    Hottie: You sick little shit! I'm leaving.

    Geek: No wait! I've got it on now! You should come play with it!!!

    The amazing babe leaves, the geek and his videogame sword stand alone in silence

    Geek: Fuck. So I guess she's not gonna chat with me in everquest anymore. [pause] Oh well, guess I'll jerk off now!
  • Stolen from Sega (Score:2, Interesting)

    by Eevee ( 535658 )

    Anyone remember how you could use the Bass Fishing controller with Soul Calibur to control the weapons? Give yourself plenty of room and slash away.

    (Well, to be honest, I don't; because I could never justify buying a special controller for a fishing game. Maracas, on the other hand...those I wish I had bought a second set.)

  • by Suppafly ( 179830 ) <slashdot.suppafly@net> on Saturday July 05, 2003 @11:29AM (#6372392)
    These self contained games that plug directly into the tv tend to not sell well at all. It might be different in japan, but in the us, these kinds of things are really only bought by people who don't have and can't afford a regular game system. They have deer hunting and fishing games like this at Target all the time. The display models are usually broken after a couple of days and then people lose interest.
    • There is one other major audience: mothers who want to quiet their kids about getting a Dra-Que (Dragon Quest) game, but who don't want their kids to have a system. Once the system is installed, the kids can resort to the "we have a system but no games" argument. Incidentally, these direct-plug games are fairly popular in Japan, (they gotta come from somewhere!) especially sports and karaoke games.
  • I know it plugs directly into the tv, but i wonder if they could get it to interface with a console so they could release additional games later. It would be an interesting way to get around the chicken and egg problem normally faced by new peripherals.

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