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Classic Games (Games) Entertainment Games

Strangest Retro Videogame Plots Pondered 168

Posted by simoniker from the maria-looking-miffed dept.
Thanks to TotalGames.net for its article discussing the oddest retro videogame plots of all-time. Among the highlighted titles are Sega's Genesis title, Greendog ("All you hafta do is find the six pieces of the Surfboard of the Ancients. They were hidden long ago by the Aztecs somewhere in the Caribbean"), along with Konami's N64 version of Mystical Ninja ("A giant UFO shaped like a peach has suddenly appeared in peaceful Oedo Town! The evil musical corps, The Peach Mountain Shoguns, have come to steal the Great Stage Plan.") What classic game made the least sense to you?
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Strangest Retro Videogame Plots Pondered

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  • USA related plots (Score:5, Funny)

    by Hermione Kestrel ( 690696 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @08:06AM (#8702116)
    I like those CRAZY plots where the USA is DEFENDING justice and equality. I laugh my pants off at those ones.

    • Re:USA related plots (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Yorrike ( 322502 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @08:50AM (#8702361) Journal
      Like Raid Over Moscow [methodshop.com]?, where the most difficult part of the game was getting your ship out of the hanger. Great game though, I spent many an hour waiting for my Commodore 64 tape drive to load that bad boy.

      Speaking of the C64, have you come across the game called Cubby Gristle [exotica.fix.no]? It's just plain weird. You play a fat guy who's goal is to eat as much food as possible with the end coming when you reach a metric ton in weight. All whilst avoiding angry grandmas, annoying kids and shopping trolleys. So far as I could tell from my play time when I was 10 years old, and more recently with an additional 14 years of gaming under my belt, the game is impossible to complete.

      • Re:USA related plots (Score:4, Funny)

        by Ayaress ( 662020 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @09:20AM (#8702597) Journal
        I played one recently on the SNES... Man, I wish I could remember the name of it. One of those generic shooters where you fly an F-16 with lasers against the Soviet army. Only, midway through the game, in the "dialog" (there were only three lines of it through the entire game, so it's a bit of a stretch to call it that), the Soviets turned out to be aliens.

        I quit playing the game about the time the spires on the Kremlin launched themselves into the air and started shooting fireballs at me. Reminded me all to well of a dream I had once. Just no goats.

  • Zero Wing! (Score:5, Funny)

    by hookedup ( 630460 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @08:07AM (#8702117)
    Cats: How are you gentlemen !!
    Cats: All your base are belong to us.
    Cats: You are on the way to destruction.
    Captain: What you say !!
    Cats: You have no chance to survive make yourtime.

    It doesnt get any more confusing than zero wing. :)

    • Re:Zero Wing! (Score:5, Funny)

      by PhotoBoy ( 684898 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @08:22AM (#8702186)
      Yeah I was amazed that Zero Wing wasn't in that list. Then again maybe the story made perfect sense before it was translated.

      I find the absense of "Ninja Golf" for the Atari 2600 quite surprising too, since it's about a Ninja who must pass the final test to become a true ninja: complete a round of golf on a golf course filled with sharks, snakes and other ninjas out to kill you...

      And of course there's the grand-daddy of them all: Pacman, the obesity simulator that rewards you for eating lots. Plus it glamorises drug taking by encouraging you to eat ghosts while high. ;)
    • True, but if you were to see the game in its native language you would realize it actually has a story, albeit unoriginal.
  • If not the stangest, this is the funniest.

    In A.D. 2101

    War was beginning

    Captain: What happen?
    Mechanic: Someone set up us the bomb
    Operator: We get signal
    Captain: What!
    Operator: Main screen turn on.

    Captain: It's you!!
    Cats: How are you gentlemen!!
    Cats: All your base are belong to us
    Cats: You are on the way to destruction

    Captain: What you say?
    Cats: You have no chance to survive make your time
    Cats: Ha ha ha ....
    Operator: Captain!!

    Captain: Take off every 'ZIG'!!
    Captain: Move 'ZIG'.
    Captain: For great justic

  • Bubsy (Score:4, Funny)

    by B00yah ( 213676 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @08:08AM (#8702125) Homepage
    You're a cat, the world is being attacked by aliens that can only hurt you if you touch them. Oh, and balls of yarn are your power source...

    • Re:Bubsy (Score:5, Interesting)

      by Pxtl ( 151020 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @10:51AM (#8703627) Homepage
      The funny thing is people keep listing silly little platformers. They're all bizarre - games like Sonic, and Earthworm Jim. All wierd.

      Now, the funny ones are serious, 3d action games with such amusing plots. Like Red Alert II, or Battlezone.

      BattleZone's always been a fave of mine. Big complicated conspiracy to hide a secret interplanetary war between the USA and the Soviets occuring during the cold war, fighting over alien technology crashed on the moon, venus, mars, and Europa. The moon landing was faked: we already had a fully functioning military base there.

      Or Recoil, another tank game. Its the old "machines have taken over the earth" except that the plot is that a team of human hackers have hotwired an experimental enemy Machine supertank - but if they control it remotely, they'll be discovered, so instead they open a time-portal so that they can send the control of the system back in time to you - the player. So the idea is taht you are actually, really controlling a tank hundreds of years in the future, saving the human race. The hackers occasionally hotwire you screen and talk to you directly. Its all the most hilarious camp I've ever seen in a game. Too bad the play wasn't so good.

      Hell, the very concept of UT or Q3 - a tournament where somehow each player dies 50 times in a single match. wtf?

  • 2 games come to mind. (Score:5, Interesting)

    by wickedj ( 652189 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @08:16AM (#8702157) Homepage
    First up, Bad Dudes:
    What's not to love about a game that asks "Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the President?" They couldn't use, say, the FBI, CIA or the NSA. Nope, they just pick 2 "bad" dudes off the street and send them to rescue the president.

    Second, Master Blaster:
    One of the best games ever for NES. But also, one where you wonder, how much does one risk for the love of a frog. We witness a boy lose his pet frog. It lands on this radioactive box IN HIS BACKYARD!!! Then it jumps down a very, very deep hole and he follows. Luckily, he finds a kickass ride and perfect sized suit to go with it. Then he begins his journey to destroy vast amounts of robots and mutated creatures to rescue his pet frog only to find, his frog has mutated too and he must destroy. Can you feel his pain? Yeah, I didn't think so either.

    • Re:2 games come to mind. (Score:1, Informative)

      by Anonymous Coward
      Aw, I was gonna mention Blaster Master and you beat me to it. And yes, it's Blaster Master, not Master Blaster. Still a perfect game for this discussion, though.
    • I know this is confusing, but the two frogs you kill in Blaster Master are actually different mutated frogs. During the ending sequence to the game you will see that your frog is back to normal. Apparently mutagenic compounds function a lot like vampires: kill the master and all of the genetically modified life forms return to normal.

      But the weirdest thing about the whole story is that at the beginning of the game the frog becomes radioactive, grows to enormous proportion, and jumps down the hole in sham

  • They can have him. (Score:4, Funny)

    by RubiX^3 ( 186636 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @08:17AM (#8702158) Homepage
    "The president has been kidnapped by Ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to save him?"

    -Bad Dudes

  • My Vote: (Score:5, Funny)

    by Ieshan ( 409693 ) <<ieshan> <at> <gmail.com>> on Monday March 29, 2004 @08:23AM (#8702188) Homepage Journal
    You play this plumber, who's a semi-twin. The reason he's not a complete twin is because his brother wears different color pants. Anyway, you're off to rescue your girlfriend, and to do this, you realize that you'll only run in one direction. Ever. But you'll sometimes jump.

    Jumping is important, because there are evil mushrooms trying to kill you. You can jump on them. And don't forget the walking turtles.

    The sewer system is filled with these big plants that eat you, but don't worry, because some other plants give you the ability to shoot fireballs from your stomach. Fireballs rule. And if you manage to run into the pretty mushrooms, you grow really big. And the flashing stars make you invincible.

    Did I mention that the guy who stole your girlfriend is a lizard and has constructed some 100 levels of very repetitive runway for you to run?

    Yeah, but it was a fun game, right?

    • Re:My Vote: (Score:1, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward
      And don't forget the walking turtles. Walking turtles? them would be tortoises then.
    • Yeah, but it was a fun game, right?

      Damn straight it was. You're making me want to dust off my old console now....thanks :)

    • The best proof.. (Score:3, Insightful)

      by EarwigTC ( 579471 )

      The best proof that gameplay is more important than storyline.

    • Re:My Vote: (Score:4, Informative)

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 29, 2004 @08:49AM (#8702343)
      Fireballs don't fire from Mario's stomach. There is a distinct fireball-throwing frame. Don't you remember it? It's the frame where Mario looks like the posing English swordfighting dandy from Rob Roy.

      Also, Mario and Luigi wear different colored shirts and hats, not pants.

      Finally, Mario could run in both directions. He just couldn't backtrack beyond the current screen.

      • Re:My Vote: (Score:2, Insightful)

        by WWWWolf ( 2428 )

        Fireballs don't fire from Mario's stomach. There is a distinct fireball-throwing frame.

        Also, the thing that annoys me most: People keep remembering that Mario hit the bricks with his head. Nope, he raises his fist as he jumps, hitting the bricks with it.

        Or that's the theory. The bricks will shatter whether Mario hits them with with his fist or the head, but the idea is what counts.

        (And now I'm off to play this weird SMB ROM I found today. No idea if this is some weird hacked ROM or if it's a bug in

  • No Dizzy? (Score:4, Informative)

    by JimDabell ( 42870 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @08:24AM (#8702198) Homepage

    What about Dizzy [freeserve.co.uk]? You can't get much stranger than a wizard-fighting hard-boiled egg.

    • Re:No Dizzy? (Score:3, Interesting)

      by Pentagram ( 40862 )
      ...an egg with boxing gloves and wellies for limbs, a talent for somersaulting and a predilection for kleptomania who lived in a vast treehouse complex? Yeah, they were certainly smoking some interesting stuff when they made that up.

      It must be time for a 3D sequel by now.

      • Re:No Dizzy? (Score:1, Informative)

        by Anonymous Coward
        Fat chance of that, Codemasters only churn out unoriginal sequels these days. Their mission statement is to "make playable games based on popular themes", but the "popular themes" part appears to mean sticking to main stream franchises without trying to be innovative anymore.

        All they do these days is churn out TOCA, Colin McRae and LMA Manager. The worst of which is LMA, which gets annual updates that do little more than update the strips, transfers and increment the year on the title screen. There's no at
  • Albert Einstein kidnapped after somebody invents a time machine . . . how horribly ironic.

  • PacMan (Score:5, Interesting)

    by shaka999 ( 335100 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @08:36AM (#8702257)
    Ok, first off, what the hell is PacMan anyway? This big yellow circle (no 3d back then) that gobbles up dots. What are those dots anyway?

    Now our hero, PacMan, is chased around a maze trying to eat these "dots" by a bunch of ghosts who look oddly like the McDonalds Fry Guys. Why are they ghosts? Are they long dead PacMen out to seek revenge? Are they haunting the maze? Have millions of PacMen died in this maze trying to get the valuable dots? Sounds like someone needs to call a priest to me, not some yellow sphere?

  • Best. Game plot. Ever. (Score:3, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 29, 2004 @08:40AM (#8702279)
    Dash Dingo.

    Your objective? To find and devour the seven crystal babies, or spend an eternity trapped in deep didgeridoo.

    (BTW, anyone know the first pop culture reference to dingos eating babies? Seinfeld's Elaine once referenced it, but I want to know the source.)

  • Not retro, but fun (Score:5, Interesting)

    by oojah ( 113006 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @08:41AM (#8702284) Homepage

    I came across a fantastic game the other day "Stair Dismount". You have to push a guy down some stairs to see how much damage you can inflict upon him.

    It looks like a rag doll physics test bed that the author decided would make a great game. It uses the Open Dynamics Engine [sourceforge.net].

    The plot:

    The legendary superhero Spector has found, to his shock, that he cannot write off all the damage he has caused to the city out of his taxes unless he proves that he has sustained significant damage in the process himself! Now it's up to you to 'help' him with this little detail..

    Download at http://jet.ro/dismount/ [jet.ro] (Windows only, although it does mention that some people have had luck running it under Wine).

    Ace fun.

    Roger

  • Super Monkey Ball 2 (Score:5, Interesting)

    by rufo ( 126104 ) <`moc.zehcnasofur' `ta' `ofur'> on Monday March 29, 2004 @08:43AM (#8702298)
    Some of the more surreal cutscenes I have found (along with a story line that makes almost no sense) are in Sega's Super Monkey Ball 2. Excellent gameplay, but the cutscenes in Story Mode involve a baby monkey (son of two of the other monkeys) sent back in time to help defeat Dr. Badboon, who is a mad scientist hell-bent on... marrying the one female monkey in the game. And apparently in order for anything to happen in the game the monkeys have to dance around singing magical Happy Fun songs (Magical Spell is Ei-Ei-Poo!). These have to be seen to be believed. (There may be some footage of the cut-scenes here [gamespot.com] if anybody's interested, although I haven't checked it out.)

    If there are any other games with *more* bizarre cutscenes that run on the current generation of consoles, I'd like to hear it.
    • Some of the more surreal cutscenes I have found (along with a story line that makes almost no sense) are in Sega's Super Monkey Ball 2. Excellent gameplay...

      Agree with you on both counts.
      But in the cutscenes, the monkeys in their balls can fly...
      Which, of course, neatly explains why they roll around narrow paths with massive drops either side to go where they need to go...

  • Clash at Demon Head (Score:4, Interesting)

    by cgenman ( 325138 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @08:50AM (#8702352) Homepage
    (Courtesy of some guy [64.53.95.207].)

    "In the year 199X, a secret command, Saber Tiger, is engaged in a savage war with the Demon's Batallion. The Saber Tiger's youngest leader, "Bang", played a very large role in the fight to the admiration of his fellow commanders. After the completion of one campaign, Bang and his girlfriend, Mary, are enjoying a longawaited vacation at the beach. Suddenly, they recieve an urgent communication from head quarters. It reads 'EMERGENCY CODE NO. 2568623. The inventor of the Doomsday Bomb, Professor Plum, is being held by the enemy, atop Demon's Head Mountain, and it appears the the world is doomed unless Earth surrenders. If the bomb explodes, the Earth will be a dead planet. A mass attack on Demon Head is impossible for the enemy vows to detonate the bomb on sight. Our colleague, Joe, has failed to return from a reconnaisance mission. Bang, only you can rescue Professor plum and save the planet. Now, you've got to get to Demon's Head Mountain at once!'

    In the ruins of Demon Head, there dwells a fearsome demon that has terrified generations of people. Bang, and Bang alone, must set out on a daredevil mission to these unknown lands and seek to rescue Plum and deactivate the Doomsday Bomb.

    As Bang sets off on his perilous journey to destroy the Demon's Batallion, Mary must remain behind deeply concerned for his life."

    Despite what I just said, the point of the game must [slownerveaction.org] be to rescue your girlfriend, or else why would she be on the cover... with the flying guy on the motorcycle and the shard of electric glass? Wait... Isn't the point to rescue the professor? Collect the seven coins from the seven swirly bad guy thingies? Why do you need so much money? What happened to the bomb? It's so confusing!

    I don't have a degree in Obscure Japanese Mythological Symbology systems! Why is the mushroom with black dancers protecting the talisman of the sun? What did I do to offend the teeth with blue hair? Who the heck are these guys [marvel.by.ru] anyway? What's that thing [aol.com] doing? NGYAAAAA! [slownerveaction.org]

  • Was a great arcade game, with a somewhat condensed conversion for the Sega Genesis. The plot was that an evil God had returned and these two guys had to take him out. Pretty basic plot.

    The odd thing, was that two or three times a level, a "convenience store" would pop up where you could buy stuff with the "Zenny" you got for killing guys. I always thought that it was awfully shortsighted of the business owners to place their stores in a combat zone.

  • Frogger (Score:5, Funny)

    by TwistedGreen ( 80055 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @09:07AM (#8702506)
    I could just never figure it out... Why on earth would a frog want to cross the road?

  • A Boy and his Blob (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Nutcase ( 86887 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @09:14AM (#8702561) Homepage Journal
    You are an anonymous boy. You just happen to have a blob, known only as "blob". It turns into things based on what flavor jellybean you feed it. Things like ladders and trampolines and such. No complex machines, per se. You use it in various forms to navigate the sewer in search of treasure, while it follows you around bouncing and begging for more jellybeans. There is no plot beyond the treasure hunt, and the fact that you have a blob.

    Makes perfect sense to me.
    • There is a plot beyond the treasure hunt. You just didn't get far enough into the game.

    • Re:A Boy and his Blob (Score:5, Informative)

      by Takeel ( 155086 ) <v32gd4r02@sne[ ]mail.com ['ake' in gap]> on Monday March 29, 2004 @10:18AM (#8703228) Homepage Journal
      I can explain some of this. These answers are all from the game's manual. [dlh.net] If you're reading this and haven't tried this NES game, I highly recommend it. It was designed by David Crane (of Pitfall fame), and it really is a lot of fun once you get the hang of it.

      You just happen to have a blob

      "Like many boys in the twenty-first century, the boy has a buddy from outer space. This one's from Blobolonia - a place where an evil emperor makes every-one eat only marshmallows and chocolate. In fact, for the emperor, healthy things like vitamins are poisonous."

      , known only as "blob"

      "Blob (his full name is Blobert) came to Earth looking for someone to help him defeat the evil emperor. That's how he met the boy."

      It turns into things based on what flavor jellybean you feed it. Things like ladders and trampolines and such. No complex machines, per se. You use it in various forms to navigate the sewer in search of treasure, while it follows you around bouncing and begging for more jellybeans.

      "You see, the boy miraculously discovered that not only does Blob love jelly-beans - but that different jellybeans turn Blob into different shapes. And that those shapes can be used to get through many otherwise impossible situations!"

      There is no plot beyond the treasure hunt, and the fact that you have a blob.

      "To defeat the evil emperor they boy and Blob will need a goodly supply of vitamins. And to get the vitamins, they'll need money. To get money, they'll search the underground caverns for hidden treasures and diamond stones."
      • My nomination for videogame strangeness still stands. But I accept and thank you for your corrections to my spotty childhood memories. Let me try again.

        You are an anonymous boy. "Like many boys in the twenty-first century, [you have] a buddy from outer space. This one's from Blobolonia - a place where an evil emperor makes every-one eat only marshmallows and chocolate. In fact, for the emperor, healthy things like vitamins are poisonous." Your buddy is named Blobert, "blob" to his friends (i.e. you). He "c
  • I mean, come on, both games are basically fifteen hour acid trips.

    Super Mario RPG was a constant string of pop culture references that would have been hilarious had the game come out two years earlier. About the time the Axem Rangers showed up, I think we all gave up hope of a deep and compelling storyline.

    And Earthbound? Three words for you: Alien Posessed Hippies. That and the psychadelic swirling color backgrounds, and who needs LSD?

  • Strangest retro game plot... (Score:5, Interesting)

    by WWWWolf ( 2428 ) <wwwwolf@iki.fi> on Monday March 29, 2004 @09:21AM (#8702610) Homepage

    Commodore 64 game "Army Moves", 1987 Imagine/Ocean. People probably remember this for the amazing music. It's just that back in late 1980s, it was not at all unusual to make a game where you control an army jeep that jumps. In big arcs. While shooting a lot of missiles. When I presented this game to the new gamer generation (that is, my sister), the laughter was nearly unstoppable. (The second level is boring. The helicopter you control just flies and doesn't, for example, turn into a kamikaze tomato in mid-flight and carpet-bomb the nameless enemy.)

    Then some more. "Artura", 1988 Sentient Software/Gremlin. Crappy game. Mostly notable for its great music (surprise surprise!) and the fact that King Arthur marches around and flings about a million axes at the enemy with a single button press.

    And that's just a random sample from the "A" section of C64 game selection =) The Nintendo Logic might have been odd at the time, but some C64 games were a few orders of magnitude weirder...

  • I'm sorry, chasing after your radioactive mutated frog through a huge underground world that just HAPPENS to be under your farm is strange to me. It's going to take a lot to beat that.

  • PS2: Cookie & Cream (Score:4, Interesting)

    by RevRagnarok ( 583910 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @09:33AM (#8702708) Homepage Journal
    Not that retro...
    I got it for Christmas after reading about it in the 'what can I play with my sweetie' thread. The moon got upset and left so it won't be present for the Moon Festival. So a chicken bestows upon two bunnies their marks of courage - a flower pot and an umbrella, that they wear on their heads. So you have to go and convince the moon to come back. That's just messed up.

    - RR

  • my fav weird game (Score:4, Funny)

    by WormholeFiend ( 674934 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @09:42AM (#8702781)
    You're a Chef, being pursued by hotdogs, eggs and pickles. You can spray pepper on them to stun them temporarily (pepper spray makes sense today, but back then it didnt, but kinda since the name of the Chef was Peter Pepper, which I always thought was a word play on "peter puffer").

    His job is to walk on parts of hamburgers, buns, beef patties, lettuce leaves and sometimes tomato slices and cheese slices, in order to put them together, while trying his best to catch falling icecream cones, french fries and cups of coffee!

  • Mick and Mack: Global Gladiators (Score:4, Funny)

    by ronfar ( 52216 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @09:48AM (#8702828) Journal
    Sega Genesis, 16 Bit. Two kids are reading a "Global Gladiators" comic and say, "Wouldn't it be fun to be a global gladiator?" Ronald McDonald uses his evil clown powers to put the two kids into the comic book where they are faced with a hellish world filled with slimy creatures. Oh, and the must collect M (for McDonalds) symbols. Ronald shows up at the end of each level to wave you on to the next level.
  • Although many, many games had wacky plots back then, the most absurd example was Arkanoid. For the people not in the know: it's pong with bricks. IIRC, the story behind it is to avenge the destruction of your mothership. It had a sequel as well.

  • Super Mario (Score:1, Redundant)

    by superpulpsicle ( 533373 )
    SMB for NES never made any sense to me. You go around jumping on mushroom to rescue a princess. After going thru 7 castles you are only able to save Toad. It took Mario 8 levels before he finds the right castle, hello?

    And what the hell flowers can let you shoot fireballs. And what the hell mushroom makes you two times bigger.

    And why is there coins hidden everywhere? I am confused.
    • Its all about a drug bust gone bad, for the dealer!

      See, Mario and Luigi are drug dealers, mostly shrooms. Bowser represents teh cops. He busts in, and takes Mario's hippie girlfriend, the princess. Of course, mario is so strung out he sees the cops as a giant turtle thing, and everybody else as mushroom people etc...
    • It took Mario 8 levels before he finds the right castle, hello?

      He couldn't try other ones. Remember, Mario lives in a 2D world. He can't go around the castles, and he can't jump high enough to go over them, so he has to go through them.
  • The ancient online game called... KARMA WHORING!
  • You're a dude trying to collect valuable ... whatevers ... and being chased around a brick jungle gym by other dudes trying to stop you. Your only weapon is a digging implement of some sort that can only dig a hole of a certain size, directly to the side of you. And the holes heal up by themselves (interesting brick). You can fall any distance without hurting yourself, but touching the dudes trying to stop you or being in a hole that heals up is instant death. You can land on or walk over the dudes head
  • And I quote: "In a distant galaxy the civilization known as the Yars were attacked by the fierce Qotiles. Though badly damaged, the Yars' fought back using their mechanical ships that look like giant metal insects. The Qotiles have many laser cannons shielded behind celluliod barriers which are capable of destroying the Yars. It's up to you to control your Yar ships and dig your way through the shields and fire your powerful Zorlon Cannon into the Qotiles."
  • Anybody else remember this gem? Old Atari 2600 game, basically a space invaders clone. You moved a tube of toothpaste across the bottom of a screen that looked like a gum with teeth growing out of it, firing little bits of toothpaste at pieces of food falling from above. The more junk-food the bits were, the faster they moved-cupcakes were pretty much impossible. If they got by you, the teeth would 'decay' a little bit at a time.
    • That's "Tooth Protectors" by johnson and johnson.

      Try and dig it up if you can...it's worth $100+ now because not very many people wanted to save up toothpase upc's to get a video game about brushing your teeth.

      Steven V.

  • StrangestVideogame Plot (Score:5, Interesting)

    by QEDog ( 610238 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @11:13AM (#8703886)
    Metal Gear Solid 2 anyone? La-li-lu-le-lo?
  • Dractula for Intellivision [buffalo.edu]

    Is your goal to hunt down and put an end Dracula's reign of terror? Hell no!

    YOU are Dracula walking down the street of a suburban neighborhood. If you see eyes peeking out of a window, go up and knock on the door. If the person is dumb enough to come out, chase them around and bite them. Bite x number of people and get back to your coffin before sunrise.

    More Info on Dracula [buffalo.edu]
  • I don't remember it all that well, since I last played it when I was about 4, but ET for the Atari 2600 seemed to have ET walking around a field full of holes that he would fall into. Ocassionally, he could get back out of the holes. Usually not.

  • Wizard is about to die! (Score:4, Funny)

    by focitrixilous P ( 690813 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @12:01PM (#8704451) Journal
    Gauntlet had the craziest plot. There's this warrior, a valkerie, an elf, and some wizard who are all trapped in this dungeon. No one knows why, but they are, so they wonder around together, all rushing to eat the food and the potion and not shooting the food. These pixely monsters try to kill them, and every once in a while the exit will move. No one knows why. As time passes you slowly starve to death, and you are frequenly reminded by a ominious, omnipresent voice who provides commentary on the game. "Wizard needs food, badly" and "Red valkyrie shot the food: make up happy memories for me...
  • Hmm... wasn't Mystical Ninja based on an anime?

    I wonder if this anime has the same plot as the game...

  • Moonwalker (Score:5, Funny)

    by Craig Maloney ( 1104 ) * on Monday March 29, 2004 @12:32PM (#8704789) Homepage
    You are Michael Jackson. You must save the children from the clutches of Mr. Big. You can use your dancing abilities to destroy enemies, or grab your chimp "Bubbles" and turn into the ultimate fighting robot.
    • " You are Michael Jackson. You must save the children from the clutches of Mr. Big."

      Um... isn't that backwards?
  • I tried to play it once, but when I saw some dude's heavily pixilated wang all I could do was run....fast.
  • So you're running through this jungle see, and you can run above ground or down in tunnels, but you have to jump over scorpions as big as you in the tunnels, or hop on the heads of alligators (nicely spaced in a line) above ground. Oh, and don't touch a fallen log or it will hurt. Or fire. You can't run AROUND any of these things, you must go over them, because you are in a VERY LARGE HURRY to run AS FAR AS POSSIBLE because there are bars of gold and silver and bags of money just sitting around this jungl
  • Quote [mobygames.com]: "You are The Crimson Tape, new leader of the Superhero League of Hoboken, with the amazing power to Create Orginazational Charts. You'll be joined by Tropical Oil Man ("capable of raising the cholestoral level of his opponents"), Robomop ("an intelligent kitchen appliance capable of cleaning up almost any mess"), Iron Tummy ("capable of eating spicy foods without any distress"), Captain Excitement (his "aura of lethargy and dullness can put many opponents to sleep instantly"), and Mademoiselle Pepper

  • MANIAC MANSION (Score:3, Informative)

    by dave1g ( 680091 ) on Monday March 29, 2004 @02:36PM (#8706495) Journal
    Meteors, mad scientists, girlfriend rescuing, meteor police, tentacles, dungeons...it had it all.

    Man I loved that game.

    • Re:MANIAC MANSION (Score:2, Interesting)

      by Bambi Dee ( 611786 )
      So was it the chainsaw that was missing, or the fuel? I don't quite remember. My friend claims both are available, but I believe he must've been hallucinating.

  • Monkey Island 2 (Score:2, Informative)

    by leadfoot2004 ( 751188 )
    This subject reminds me of the weird plot twist near the ending of Monkey Island 2. It is truly strange to say the least, where LeChuck who tormented you with a voodoo doll is really your brother in a theme park. I remember my first reaction was like 'wtf...' this is totally weird.
  • ...and I haven't seen mention of Marble Madness and Crystal Towers.
  • Although I don't quite remember the exact plot to any of the games in the Earthworm Jim series,(there were two or three of them), It was a real strange game. To start off you are a giant earthworm that has nothing on but a pair of black sunglasses and went aroud blasting strange monsters with a arsenal of assorted automatic weapons. It's been years since i've played the game so if there is anyone who knows the plot let us know.
    • Oh hell yeah. I loved Earthworm Jim. =D

      The story was like this. Psy-crow, an evil intergalactic crow, either built, bought, or stole this suit of armor that would have made him indestructible. However, in transit, somehow it fell out of his ship and crashed to Earth, landing on a brave young earthworm named Jim. The suit interacted with Jim's molecules, turning him into the Earthworm Jim we know and love.

      So basically, Earthworm Jim has this super-powerful suit, and has to go around defeating various bad
  • Anyone who is a long time Sega fan knows that some of the weirdest plots and executions were made for the Sega Master System series of "Alex Kidd" games. How about "Alex Kidd in High Tech World"? You are young prince Alex. A new arcade has opened in town, but you don't know how to get there. You must put together the pieces of the map, scattered through your [japanese] castle, solving riddles and what nots. There's also "Alex Kidd in Shinobi World"... Alex sure was a polyfacetic young chap.

  • How about Mort the Chicken [andnow.net] :

    Mort lives in an alternate universe, exactly like ours, except that chickens are the dominant species. On this chicken planet, Mort is the star of his own television series, an animated series of shorts called The Mort the Chicken Show. It takes place on a farm, and depicts the adventures of Mort as he saves his little chicken community from a wide variety of dangers.

    What the chickens in this world have never known is that there is another species living in a dimension parall

  • Any game with michael jackson in it is just plain weird.

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