Conspiracies - A 'Final Justice' For Videogames?

Thanks to Video-fenky for its loving review of allegedly awful PC FMV graphic adventure Conspiracies, a game that some have compared to classic MST3K film Final Justice for its ability to "plumb the depths of lameness" in an intrigue-filled Mediterranean setting. Apparently, "Conspiracies is the story of Nick Delios, a balding Greek guy in a hoodie who has a living cactus with a face named 'Nionios' and solves crime... it's the year 206X, a world of flying cars and poor dubbing, and Nick... must solve... an alien plot to take over the World Government with android body doubles of top political leaders, starting with Greece first." The official Conspiracies site has more info on this soon-to-be-cult title, paradoxically well-received by JustAdventure, which includes gorgeously random puzzles such as "smuggling a crate full of plastic explosives from outer space so you can stick it inside a bra." Video-fenky happily concludes: "Overall, Conspiracies is a game no PC adventurer should be without, even if it's for all the wrong reasons."

If the game is so bad...

[MMaestro]

"Overall, Conspiracies is a game no PC adventurer should be without, even if it's for all the wrong reasons."

If the game is so bad, why is it being reported on Slashdot? What next? Will we report on XXX because one of the ladies' armpits weren't shaved?

Re-read that...

[Phoenixhunter]

Double negative is throwing you off. "no...adventurer...be without." So... 'adventurer should be with'

Yeah I hate double negatives too, though they used it in this case because it typically understood that 'no one should be without' as saying 'you should have'.

Dear Slashdot

[Seraphim_72]

I know of a game that involves a pod race through my arm pit hair, it sucks. But I think everyone that is a gamer should try it out, just to see how bad it really does blow.

Signed
Unabashed Fanboy

soon-to-be-cult, eh?

[wibs]

soon-to-be cult title

Really had to reach to find a compliment, didn't you?

Seriously, it took me 2 minutes to figure out what this headline was even talking about, and then I felt so let down by the complete pointlessness of what I was able to decipher that I'm actually thinking about getting back to work.

Thanks.

The Cactus

[Anonymous Coward]

"who has a living cactus with a face"

I think the word you were looking for was "sentient" . All cacti (apart, ha-ha, from the dead ones) are alive. I should think that the distinguishing feature of this one, among other things, is it's self-awareness.

What this game really needs

[foidulus]

is a Joe Don Baker mod. Imagine, saving the government of Greece from aliens with a fat, sweaty cowboy/"bad boy".
Goosio will obviously have to make a cameo of course!

Re:What this game really needs (gratuitous MST3K)

[Quinn]

The hero's catchphrase will of course be, "You think you can take me? Go'head on."

And they can save CPU cycles by repeating the same FMV death scene.

And jelly-filled donut powerups.

And whenever a friendly NPC receives newly developed pictures of his wife and child, well, save your game, you son of a [...]!

how nice

[arcanumas]

Its sad really.
This game has indeed received great reviews. From people who know and love adventures. The review on JustAdventure is one of them. Go see, how they rate other classic adventures.
And then some guy who writes for 1UP.com ( which means he is a fan of the age that has replaced the adventure era) sharply criticizes the game... it makes Slashdot news.
How sad.

Adventure games are beyond Graphics. Graphics are not the thing that 'defines' this genre (as it would for FPS for example). And yet we see a comment made by this critic , mocking an image saying "There are at least 1000 polygons in this scene". This should have given most readers away that this guy is all about action/graphics FPS and the likes. He probably would give any game that isn't Sonic the Hedgehog a bad grade.

There are still people who enjoy a good adventure, even for all the shortcomings (eg Graphics.)
As for the houmor in the Game, i have to say that either he is houmor impaired or he has never played another adventure before (on almost ALL adventure you have an invenotry the size of a small truck. And yet he criticizes this game?)

As for the name Nionios, it is a short for Dionysios (like the God Dionysos) and is meant as houmor.

Re:how nice

[Pluvius]

And yet we see a comment made by this critic , mocking an image saying "There are at least 1000 polygons in this scene". This should have given most readers away that this guy is all about action/graphics FPS and the likes.

Or about Myst-like adventures with all graphics and no substance. What, you thought that everyone who likes graphics has to be an FPS junkie? Sorry, pal, but your precious computer adventure genre is no longer separate from the graphical revolution.

BTW, saying that a guy like tsr is

Re:how nice

[BobTheLawyer]

It's a bit odd how the only good reviews this seems to receive are from Greek people. Is it that the undubbed version is so much better, or just a kind of techno-nationalism?

Re:how nice

[schild]

Who modded this guy up?

If he'd read the goddamn company web site he would have seen that they boast, and I quote:

"Over 30,000 Polygons per location"

Don't talk to us about the wonders of the adventure games of yore. Especially after you haven't looked at the goddamn reference material linked in the article.

Jesus christ, go boot up your 386 and play some Kings Quest 3.

Re:how nice

[flonker]

I would, but I don't have a 5 1/4" floppy drive for the key disk anymore, after my little brother stuck a CD-ROM in it, and ripped the head off.

gorgeously random?

[ziggles]

I find your usage of the word gorgeous to be highly suspect.

Re:gorgeously random?

[arcanumas]

i find your usage of the world suspect to be very suspicious

Re:gorgeously random?

[ezzzD55J]

i find the randomness of your suspicions highly useful.

is it 206X or

[ooby]

"Twenty X-ty Six!"