Doom 3 Gets Reviews, Piracy Questions, Exultation 1319
Yeti Von Baseball writes "Now that Doom 3 has officially shipped to stores, Computer Gaming World just posted its Doom 3 review - they also posted about 100 or so new screens." Elsewhere, GameSpy has an in-progress weblog and first-look impressions on the "claustrophobic corridors" of the game, Telefragged posted one of the first reviews, praising "a grand slam of action, story, atmosphere, and pure terror", the BBC reports on how "potential sales could be hit by the extent of online piracy of the game", and Time Magazine has a feature on Doom 3 and id.
The Doom 3 piracy troll... (Score:1, Funny)
Oh teh horror!
Lets talk about Jon Carmack. (Score:5, Funny)
Now stop for a moment and think, What would have happened if Albert Einstein had worked creating amazing pinball games instead of creating the theory of relativity? Humanity would suffer! Jon carmack is unfortunately doing JUST THIS, using his gifts at computer coding to create games instead of furthering the knowledge of humanity. Carmack could have been working for NASA or the US military, but instead he simply sits around coding violent computer games.
Is this a waste of a special and rare talent? Sadly, the answer is yes.
Unfortunately, it doesn't stop there. Not only is Jon carmack not contributing to society, he is causing it's downfall. What was the main reason for the mass murder of dozens of people in columbine? Doom. It's always the same story: Troubled youth plays doom or quake, he arms himself to the teeth, he kills his classmates. This has happened hundreds of times in the US alone. Carmack is not only wasting his talents and intelligence; he is single-handedly causing the deaths of many young men and women. How does he sleep at night?
Carmack is a classic example of a very talented and intelligent human being that is bent on total world destruction. Incredibly, he has made millions of dollars getting people hooked on psychotic games where they compete on the internet to see who can dismember the most people. I believe there is something morally wrong when millions of people have computerized murder fantasies, and we have Jon Carmack to thank. Carmack has used his superior intellect to create mayhem in society. Many people play games such as quake so much that their minds are permanently warped. A cousin of mine has been in therapy for 6 months after he lost a 'death match' and became catatonic.
It is unfortunate that most people do not realize how much this man has damaged all the things we have worked hard for in America. Jon has wasted his intelligence, caused the deaths of innocent children, and warped this country forever. To top it off, he got rich in the process and is revered by millions of computer users worldwide. Perhaps one day the US government will see the light and confine Jon Carmack somewhere with no computers so he can no longer use his intelligence to wreak havoc on society.
Slashdotted (Score:1, Funny)
100 Doom III Screenshots? (Score:5, Funny)
Come on, linking to 100 screenshots of Doom III in a slashdot blurb? That's just cruel.
Doom 3 was released today? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I bought my copy today (Score:5, Funny)
Re:freakin great (Score:4, Funny)
Re:100 Doom III Screenshots? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The $200 bucks question is... (Score:3, Funny)
Go and buy 2 copies as that will allow you to hold twice as many guns and do the two shotgun trick!
really it will! the reviews and all other press that has been out for months are lying.
My letter to my boss (Score:5, Funny)
With the release of Doom3 today, I am taking two weeks of vacation effective immediately. I will not be reachable by direct email, cell phone or smoke signals. Should you feel the need to contact me, please leave a message and I will respond when I stop playing the game because I started hallucinating.
It make take me a while to respond as I expect my fingers to have fallen off by that point. Also, I will most likely be unintelligeable so be prepared not to understand a word I say. After two weeks, please alert all my co-workers to my return. They will need to prepare for my two weeks of body odor as well as purchase very dark sunglasses. I expect I will be very pale by then, perhaps blindingly pale.
Sincerely,
Your local Space Marine.
Re:freakin great (Score:5, Funny)
I'll wait for a few weeks until the rush has died down, then I'll go buy it at my leisure.
N.
Re:Whuzzaahh!! (Score:5, Funny)
spawn monster_boss_cyberdemon
Holy mother of God! Is that...omg!!...
Yes, that is Bill Gates' head in a jar.
MOD PARENT FUNNY/INSIGHTFUL (Score:2, Funny)
Re:So, (Score:3, Funny)
No idea how long "very soon" will be though.
Unbelievable! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:100 Doom III Screenshots? (Score:5, Funny)
LS
Bought it for the mods (Score:3, Funny)
But what I'm really waiting for are some of the really great mods that I know are probably coming out once modders get up and running.
The engine is great, I find myself just wandering around checking out the decor :)
i have two comments (Score:4, Funny)
2. i seem to recall playing this game four years ago when it was called 'system shock 2'
Re:Very disappointed (Score:5, Funny)
Now if you'll just post contact information, I'll happily take this terrible game off your hands for .. say .. $10? Your hands deserve better.
I mean, it's a *really* crappy game.
Re:The Doom 3 piracy troll... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:freakin great (Score:4, Funny)
Let me know when you want to unload that piece of crap, I'll give it a good home.
Re:MOD PARENT FUNNY/INSIGHTFUL (Score:4, Funny)
Re:My letter to my boss (Score:5, Funny)
Have a good vacation.
Boss.
Re:Get rid of all ambient light (Score:4, Funny)
Learn to type.
It also restricts you to playing the game at night-time, which is also needed for sleeping. This cuts out your weekend play.
Close the blinds.
Damn you slashdot (Score:2, Funny)
Re:freakin great (Score:5, Funny)
Warning: attempted humour
Doom Three: Two simple words --the former a noun, or transitive verb; the latter the third ordinal, or second prime. But together, they bond to become a powerful concept. One greater than the sum of its parts, a new world-view paradigm, a religion, a little boy's wish, a grown man's hope, yet so much more that cannot be said. I cannot wait -- as I write this from the queue outside my local game shop, my hand trembles; it's cold and the last eight days here have been lonely at night. I sit here, shaking in anxiety for the shop to open, feverishly and unconciously tugging at myself through my ripped pockets, salivating at the thought of buying that precious 27-CD shrink wrapped bundle of frag-laden joyness. I can no longer feel the pain of hunger gnawing at me, or my unblinked eyes drying out as mosquito after mosquito lay filthy eggs on my unmoving door-focused corneas.
Once I get my stinking body inside, punching, kicking and gouging all who stand in my way before setting paws on the box, the sweaty, piss soaked bundle of canadian dollars hurled across the counter, not waiting for the reciept (I WILL NEVER RETURN IT) I shall then flee home, globs of frosted faeces tumbling down my trouser legs, to rip the box to shreds as I scamper up the stairs to my apartment door, barely avoiding slipping to my death on the spattering of saliva that spews ahead as I gurgle and scream. I spend two days loading CD after CD of the Carmack code mana into my pathetic 40GB drive, uninstalling and carelessly -- and joyfully -- deleting any important files/documents or Windows DLLs that stand in my way until all 18.5GB of its magnificant glory sits arranged in pretty streams of bytes in the hallowed magnetic media of my laptop's Winchester. I wait, wait and wait some more as the last bit is flipped from 1 to 0 and XP coughs yet another 32x32 icon onto my disorganized desktop. I grab my Razer Viper, impatient fingers biting into the sides of it like a hawk plucking a salmon from a river -- I slide the mouse smoothly to the icon and double click... first slowly, then rapidly speeding up, I begin clicking like some kind of maniacal parkinsons afflicted beta tester, not caring whether I spawn one or a hundred copies of the executable. I just want to see something. I can't wait any longer. NOW.
SHOW ME LIGHTMAPS DAMMIT.
The cooling fan audibly shifts gears in my AthlonXP 2200+ laptop; whining, whirring like some kind of demented air conditioner and I swear the screen is sweating -- maybe it's excited too? I hear the dulcit squeals of pain as my motherboard integrated radeon IGP 320, radeon 7000 equivalent video card struggles to preload megabyte after megabyte of 32 bit texture into the 64MB of shared SDRAM that it so tenuously controls.
SHOW ME DYNAMIC LIGHTS, DAMMIT.
I notice a strange smell from somewhere, something new, sharp on the nose, not at all like the waft of dried urine that sneaks around under the desk; what is that? As I unconsciously let another flow of hot piss run down my leg -- this is no time for toilet pleasantries -- I ponder the source of the new acrid smell, whilst mainly watching the harddrive light flicker, then remain permanently on. Thefan shifts gears once more.
SHOW ME TRILINEAR FILTERING, DAMMIT.
Fifteen minutes pass, the smell grows stronger; I imagine in my minds eye, each CPU clock cycle, 1.8 million times a second, sucking, pumping and routing that precious bytestream and distributing it to all the hardware that comprises my sub-1000$ laptop. Suddenly, *POOF*, the magic blue smoke appears, wispy at first, then blows rapidly in large plumes from all vents as the CPU fan generates gusts best measured on the Beaufort scale. Then, the screen fades rapidly to a white dot: "Oh the suspense!" I squeal to myself with glee. For a few moment
All i can say is.. (Score:1, Funny)
Re:I bought my copy today (Score:5, Funny)
Re:My letter to my boss (Score:3, Funny)
With these hard economic times it is sad that someone would walk out on you to play a game. Down right Unpatriotic, and lazy, if you ask me, Sir.
I say teach him a lesson, and replace him with me. I'll see that those other slackers understand how it is, and they will see the light, Only the dawn light, cause I will see that they work through the night to finish that very important project that is slipping behind schedule, even as you read this.
Sincerly,
Jerry Wiesman aka 'The yes man'
It's been 10 years between Doom 2 and 3... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:My own little review (Score:4, Funny)
So, what you're saying is that it's like
Re:Lets talk about Jon Carmack. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I bought my copy today (Score:1, Funny)
ugh.
Re:freakin great (Score:2, Funny)
Re:So, (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Look again (Score:4, Funny)
Crappy Hardware review (Score:4, Funny)
512 ram (2100, i think)
32 meg Gfarce MX200 (I know, I know)
5200rpm 40gig HD
Performance is on the high end of unplayable, or the very low end of playable. (compared to UT2003 which was pretty good)
On the lowest setting @ 640x480 it's somewhat better than quake 1 on a 4 meg S3. Playable until you have to kill things. I think. I was freakin'. Scary. I'm not even sure if it was me or the poor 32 meg vid card. I quit after the monsters came.
Speaking of video...wow. Eye f'ing candy. Even on the lowest setting, everything is sweet sweet eyecandy. Really. I had to try the high setting at 1024 - that was mindboggling. Everything was very render-y. The whole 'playing a cutscene' is no joke. However it plays like Myst at that point.
I can see a videocard in my future. Maybe a new motherboard. Some more ram. A faster hard drive.
Oh. And a money tree growing out of my ass.
Re:The Doom 3 piracy troll... (Score:2, Funny)
Only $833345 per month
nice.
Re:And you are correct sir. (Score:4, Funny)
Everyone has a different tastes.
Re:Quake3 engine open-source? When? (Score:5, Funny)
Would one of those higher priority things be providing duct tape to the largest, most powerful high tech company in the solar system that happens to run an installation on Mars that seems to have a high percentage of leaking ducts?
It is also useful for taping flashlights to weapons, or the side of one's helmet.
Thanks,
A Concerned Marine.
(I kid - please don't send flaming skulls to my house;)
I guess I looked at just the right time... (Score:3, Funny)
666 comments? Now if that isn't totally appropriate given the subject matter, I don't know what is. :-)
Re:Writer's workshop (Score:1, Funny)
point , who writes manuals that people actually
read ?
So I think this still counts as the first thing
you wrote for normal human consumption.
Kudo's on it
Re:Buy Directly From Developer (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Lets talk about Jon Carmack. (Score:4, Funny)
Lets talk about Britney Spears (Score:1, Funny)
Now stop for a moment and think, What would have happened if Albert Einstein had pranced around with his belly out instead of creating the theory of relativity? Humanity would suffer! Britney Spears is unfortunately doing JUST THIS, using her gifts at whatever it is she exactly does instead of furthering the knowledge of humanity. Spears could have been working for NASA or the US military, but instead she simply slithers around shaking her stuff at teenagers.
Is this a waste of a special and rare talent? Well, ....no, not really.
Re:Bought it for the mods (Score:2, Funny)
Only on Slashdot will you see a guy boasting about playing computer games while in bed with his girlfriend.
Re:I bought my copy today (Score:4, Funny)
Re:And you are correct sir. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Doom 3 cliché-scary. (Score:4, Funny)
1. While in doom you come across a group of demonic hellspawn imps waiting in the center of a large room you take the following action(s):
a)speak to the elf in the shadow in the corner and ask him to transport you to the next waypoint
b)using ultra stealth bio-mod sneak past in the shadows
c)notice a switch on the right wall controlling a large lightning chamber the imps happen to be standing in
d)break out the chainsaw and shotty and fuck shitup in a huge bloody mess
2. While playing doom you somehow end up in a creepy dark room compeltely surrounded by several large walls that suspiciously look like they might also be doors. The following events take place:
a)ancient runes are incsribed on the wall, you simply use the correct restoration spell upon the wall and it opens leading to a bright garden with a large beatiful fountain
b)using your infrared biomod you notice a vent to your left with several rats in it. proceed through to the next area
c)a strange man with the briefcase walks around the scalfolding above you, as you notice a ladder to your right where you can follow him giddily
d)all the walls open unleashing a legion of various demonic hellspawn.....break out the chainsaw and rocket launcher and fuck shitup in a huge bloody mess
Re:Look again (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I'm proud of it. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Look again (Score:2, Funny)
Doom 3 Review (Score:3, Funny)
Anyhow, I received an email from an old friend who tracked me down to tell me Doom III was released. I hadn't heard from this guy in 8 years and he emailed about 30 people going by my name until he found me. We used to play Doom together in multiplayer while in college, and we both gave up gaming when real life set in.
So, I stopped by Best Buy, got the game, and fired it up on my workstation:
MSI KD8 Master 3 with Dual Opterons
NVidia GeForce FX 5700 w/ 256 MB RAM
1.5 GB RAM
21' Trinitron
Immediately after installation the phone rang, it was the neighbors telling me the dog was loose and digging through their trash. I ran over to collect the animal and I found out he also dug a hole under the fence and ate up some decorative cabbage. I apologize, pay the neighbor for his losses and fill in the hole under the fence with dirt left over from when the sprinkler system was installed.
Back to the game. I get an IM from Riordan (my buddy who sent the original email), who tells me Basil, Umberto, Cheeks, Smarty and Kellogg all have copies too. We are all ready to go at it. Kellogg's wife, though, wants him to take her out shopping first. We decide to wait for Kellogg to get back. I start the game up in single player, witness the amazing graphics and walk around the station on patrol for a while before I get a phone call from work telling me the dev server died. I spend 20 minutes on the phone explaining to this person he should follow the recovery instructions he wrote and restore the latest hourly backup. He explains he doesn't know how to do something he wrote the procedure for and I explain that's his problem. Then I am hungry.
I walk over to get something quick so I can get back to those awesome graphics. I'm thinking about Kellogg and remembering his wife, who was my girlfriend before he met her and what a rotten lay she was. 'Can't believe he married her', I'm thinking as I heat up some chili in the microwave. Then, as I take out the hot bowl and head back to the workstation, I smell something very un-chililike and look down to notice the dog puked up the decorative cabbage he ate from next door. I put down the chili and race to the supply closet to get the mop and some cleaning supplies. I scrape up the nastiness and put the dog outside, he's curling up in the middle at this stage and looking like he will be sick again.
After this fiasco I notice my friends are still IMing each other about how awesome the game is. My daughter walks in from swim practice and I mention to her I just bought this very violent computer game, and she asks if it is as violent as the 101 Dalmations game she has been playing for the last month. I explain she needs to go up and get her bath and not pay so much attention to what is on the screen.
I put the daughter in the bathtub and tab back to Doom 3, finally ready to play. The smell of the chili has become unappetizing after cleaning up the dog puke. I take a bite or two and feel really put off by the feel of it in my mouth, which leads me to dump the chili and open a window to clean out the air. As I go to heat up the last microwave burrito we have, my daughter comes back to tell me there are no clean towels and she can't take a shower.
Still wanting to experience the exciting new combat features before my friends do, I run upstairs before my daughter, pull a dirty towel out of the hamper and stuff it under a blanket. I ask her if she bothered to look under the blanket, she pulls the towel out with a suspicious look then slowly vanishes into the bathroom. As I lean to go back downstairs, she calls out from in the bathroom asking me if I can get her robe. I look in her room, which is a disaster site, and cannot find the robe. She insists she must have it t
Re:Quake3 engine open-source? When? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Quake3 engine open-source? When? (Score:3, Funny)