Games Should Be Like Female Orgasms

Gamers with Jobs has an excellent look at the pacing of games, and their resemblance to sexual response cycles. From the article: "The female sexual response cycle appears as a gradual (sometimes maddeningly so) upward slope from excitement to orgasm, with several 'false peaks' in the plateau region. Anyone who's ever performed cunnilingus while kneeling on a hardwood floor can attest to the validity of this representation. The male cycle differs radically. The transition from excitement to plateau in men is rather rapid, represented by a near-vertical line. The plateau stage is then almost horizontal for varying amounts of time (see: premature ejaculation) followed by another extremely rapid ascent into orgasm. Playing video games often reminds me of the above."

You idiots!

[Henry V .009]

For months, Slashdot has been posting story after story trying to make itself more female friendly and to lure women into gaming.

Now, you've undone it all with this one crass story. Good job!

This is, by far,

[BlackCobra43]

The lewdest and most disgusting submission I've ever read.

Do go on

Oh for fuck's sake.

[Anonymous Coward]

Can we please get rid of Zonk, already?

Seriously, please?

I know he can be filtered, but since he's come on board the other editors seem to have stopped posting. Probably because he posts approximately 5000 pointless and often duplicate articles EVERY SINGLE DAY and there's no longer room for anyone else. I've noticed lately he seems to be spreading his blob-like appendages into the other sections, a growing blight on an already blight-filled website.

Zonk: just because you read something online doesn't mean you have to post it.

I know I can't be the only one who feels this way. Feel free to chime in and we'll all ride the mod-o-vator to the basement together. Maybe we can give each other orgasms on the way down while we search for the elusive female gamer.

Ugh.

SEX!

[Anonymous Coward]

Now that we've got your attention, please read this story and post your comments so that we can increase ad impressions!

Re:You idiots!

[eddy the lip]

That sums it up pretty well. I could care less about not-safe-for-work stories, and my crass-o-meter goes to eleven most days, but this is juvenile.

Given the stories that have been getting posted lately, I'm wondering if Zonk isn't someone's 14 year old kid brother, or maybe some /. editor meta-troll joke being played on us.

I've never complained about stories or editors here before. There are all those handy checkboxes that mean I don't need to see what I don't want to be bothered with. But I think the senior editors need to figure out if they want Slashdot to be an interesting source of news and ephemera, or if they'd rather just watch it degrade to another fanboy site. With stories like this, that's where it's going.

Lame.

[manno]

So lame.

Re:What the hell?

[JavaRob]

It would be excusable if the article managed to provide any useful insight through the analogy. But no, it's just the same old revelation that pacing a game well is hard to do, and many games get it wrong. But now it's wrapped up in the orgasm analogy to make it titillating (woo, I just said 'tit', huh huh), for the benefit of every teenager out there who wets himself at the mention of sex. Guess what, guys -- basically every human activity can be related or compared to sex in some way (...so in the beginning it's hard work, but I get into the swing of things, and I'm taking deductions here and stapling on W-2's there, then wow, I file my taxes and I get such a rush, and every time I do it I learn more tricks and it's easier!). But if it doesn't reveal any new insight, you're wasting your time.

Oh, and I almost forgot - the article author gets to make comments like this:
I'm not going to spend more than five words here bragging about how awesome I am in the sack. Suffice to say: I am.

Lovely. Flock this way, ladies, because a GIFT has just arrived for YOU, and it's from GOD.