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It's funny. Laugh. Entertainment Games

History Proves That Videogame Ads Are Awful 81

Posted by Zonk from the argh-not-the-noid dept.
headcold writes "Scott Sharkey of 1UP just penned his third retrospective of Game Ads, The Best Worst Ads 3, this time culling the tragedies from a stack of old CGWs. Where the two earlier installments dealt with the atrocious videogame ads from the late eighties and early nineties, respectively, this episode explores computer game ads from the mid-to-late nineties — proving, at last, that advertising sucked as recently as eight years ago."
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History Proves That Videogame Ads Are Awful More

History Proves That Videogame Ads Are Awful

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  • Recent Ads (Score:1, Informative)

    by Anonymous Coward
    And the recent PS3 ads with exploding cubes and crying babies are just as atrocious. So we know ads sucked as recently as 8 minutes ago.

    1)How is this news?

    2)People don't don't go into advertising because they're smart.

    • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

      by ReverendLoki ( 663861 )

      However, that ad for Guitar Hero 2 with the two teens playing it in their basement, and the walls fall away to reveal the stereotypical screaming crowd of fans while they pull of every manor of rock god move, that's a damn fine ad. Gets the idea across about what playing the game is like quickly and in an entertaining fashion.

      I've also been seeing the World of Warcraft spot that is basically a clip from Office Space, with Peter playing WoW instead of Tetris. Damn funny.

      So, we know that videogame ad

      • Oh, and while we're at it, let's just try and pretend I actually said "manner" instead of "manor" there.

        • Re: (Score:2)

          by Intron ( 870560 )
          Ummmm, yeah. I'll just need you to come in on Saturday and work on that.

          And I'll need that stapler, too.

      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by Scutter ( 18425 )
        2) People don't post on Slashdot because they're smart.

        Hey! No I'm...doesn't!

    • People don't don't go into advertising because they're smart.

      No, of course you're right. It's horribly stupid to go into an industry where you get to fuck off all day and fleece money out of the ignorant, idiot sheeple.

      I'd better get out of this marketing department immediately lest they take away my MENSA card.

      ObDisclaimer: I don't have a MENSA card. Getting one would require effort and only entitle me to hang around with a bunch of boring arrogant fucks.

      • "I don't have a MENSA card. Getting one would require effort and only entitle me to hang around with a bunch of boring arrogant fucks."

        You mean the type of folk that use words like "sheeple"?

        BTW, nice sig. Go rage against that machine there, Che.

        • No. Boring ignorant fucks. I don't consider myself boring because I talk about things other than what I can accomplish with my gigantic throbbing brain. (Instead I discuss other gigantic throbbing body parts...)

          Incidentally the sig came to me from Spearhead. I saw them for the first time on 20050911 and then again on 20060912 (IIRC) at speedway meadows in golden gate park for the power to the peaceful festival. It's where I first hung out with my now-girlfriend. AFAIK the '05 show was the first public p

  • That's hilarious (Score:4, Funny)

    by Morphine007 ( 207082 ) on Wednesday November 29, 2006 @02:06PM (#17037672)

    "Oh god, that woman is John Romero!"

    Thank god I wasn't drinking any coffee.... at any rate, I've now found a new sig... score :)

    • Re: (Score:1)

      by empaler ( 130732 )
      My GF and her friend also just looked at me as if I was mad. After all, my laughing blocked out the audio of their 'Bewitched' DVD-athon.

      (Godsdamn that they're only on second season. They seriously will keep going)

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by jbrader ( 697703 )
        Bewitched DVD-athon? Go ahead and kill them both, no jury in the world would convict.

        • Re: (Score:1)

          by empaler ( 130732 )
          Sorry, it's Charmed [wikipedia.org] . I am still considering the dual-homicide an option, though.
          Seeing them with translated titles makes me lose track of the original titles. (At least they never (*ugh*) dub them over with translated lines, like in Germany. Danmed Germans)

          OTOH, they're my only chance of sex tonight, so I might be lenient.

          • Re: (Score:2)

            by jbrader ( 697703 )
            Well if they're both a chance for sex I say get of ./ and go pretend that you really like Charmed.

            • Re: (Score:1)

              by empaler ( 130732 )
              I ain't that good an actor. I tried, but I seriously can't shut up about all the things that are wrong with it. I have to listen to music to not listen to their incoherent, rambling dialogue.
              Not putting down their show is much better for the mood of the house than...
              Never mind, one of them just went out to put in a tampon.
          • Bewitched would have been better.

            I hate Charmed so much there aren't even words. Every episode is exactly the same: Bimbo X, Y, or Z does something stupid solo, all seems lost but in the last second wonder triplet powers unite, and all is saved.

            This same crap has happened to them over and over and over again for like fifty seasons. You think they'd eventually figure it out.

    • Re: (Score:1)

      by Thornae ( 53316 )
      Penny Arcade have done [penny-arcade.com] that joke [penny-arcade.com] a number [penny-arcade.com] of times [penny-arcade.com]...

  • How interesting... (Score:4, Informative)

    by SNR monkey ( 1021747 ) on Wednesday November 29, 2006 @02:08PM (#17037692)
    a story about terrible advertisement in video games that strewn over 12 ad laden pages.

  • Annoying ads sell more (Score:1, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward
    ..because they stay with you. Unfortunately, it works.

  • Breaking news.. (Score:3, Insightful)

    by The Living Fractal ( 162153 ) <banantarrNO@SPAMhotmail.com> on Wednesday November 29, 2006 @02:09PM (#17037710) Homepage
    The next article will be about proving that oranges are orange.

    Let's face it: ads suck. Sometimes, rarely, we might be happy to have watched one. But usually, and I mean a vast majority of the time, we just want ads to go away.

    For video game ads the only thing I take from them is:

    - The name
    - The genre
    - The platform

    Ads for video games are like pictures of women in magazines like Maxim -- they're air-brushed extravagances of the real thing that in no way resemble what the actual woman would look like without all the extra work. Of course, YMMV.

    TLF

    • Re: (Score:1)

      by empaler ( 130732 )
      Ads for video games are like pictures of women in magazines like Maxim -- they're air-brushed extravagances of the real thing that in no way resemble what the actual woman would look like without all the extra work. Of course, YMMV.
      My model ex-GF IMHO looked better off-print than on. I actually don't have any pictures of her from magazines because they looked so fake.

  • Another study... (Score:4, Funny)

    by __aaclcg7560 ( 824291 ) on Wednesday November 29, 2006 @02:10PM (#17037732)
    At least, they didn't say that video game ads cause violence.

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by jbrader ( 697703 )
      You've obviously never seen me after watching a commercial break. Sometimes I get so angry I turn green and bust out of my clothes.
    • Ads generally get me close to violence. At least when I don't have the urge to get rid of some soda that I let pass through my biosystem.

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by Fizzog ( 600837 )
        I don't feel the need to get violent.

        But I do take advantage of when the ads are on to go and make room for more beer...

  • Most commercials from the 80's... (Score:4, Funny)

    by casualsax3 ( 875131 ) on Wednesday November 29, 2006 @02:22PM (#17037950)
    ... were absolutely terrible. Here are my favorite AWFUL car commercials from the 80's:

    1: The Toyota MR2 - one of my favorite cars, but I'm pretty sure I would not have bought one based on this commercial alone:

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=fHCVFrf5FKg [youtube.com]

    2: Nissan 280Z - check out this guys mustache! I'm pretty sure this guy was the basis for Ben Stiller's character in Dodgeball:

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=owK0sWEMN3k [youtube.com]

    3: The worst of them all - the Buick Grand National. I haven't been able to make i through the whole commercial it's so embarrassing just to watch...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drBYWdKDCfg [youtube.com]

  • Gears of War Commercial... (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Quaoar ( 614366 ) on Wednesday November 29, 2006 @02:29PM (#17038058)
    Does anyone else think that the Gears of War commercial is one of the best, if not THE best, video game commercial ever made? Very memorable...

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by tgd ( 2822 )
      I was just about to post that.

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by antdude ( 79039 )
      Is there an online copy of it? I don't watch much TV and I don't think I have seen it yet.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Opportunist ( 166417 )
      Well, I don't know if it's different in the US (over here it's some classic movie with some in game graphics), but personally I was not impressed.

      If people (like me) don't bother looking at the screen during commercials, they won't even notice it in the static.
      • The music played is a blood-drained, lifeless version of Tears for Fears' "Mad World". I dimly remember hearing this as a "new hit" some 2 or 3 years ago and going near ballistic over what was made out of a very sad and angry song with a lot of impact, heart and soul. What was an outlash to the world turned into self pity. They bloody well made a perfect song emo!

        Well, I might not be the target audience for the commercial, remembering the (by far superior) original "Mad World" and hating the copycat version
    • Comment removed based on user account deletion
    • The thing that stands it so far apart is that it's not grinding hectic action, coupled with pieces of cutscenes interspersed with actual game action, all overlain with a pounding heavy metal beat.

      It's linear, it's got well chosen music that stands WAY the hell out from the generalized advertising back chatter, looks pretty. Doesn't abuse your common sense with a bunch of half baked claims of superiority over everything that's ever come before.

      I think, if nothing else, it's a sign that gamer marketing is mov
    • It's certainly among the best I've ever seen...unique and very evocative. It made me want to get the game, which should be a testament to its efficacy. I got a hi-def version at gametrailers.com, but I can't find the link right now.
    • Does anyone else think that the Gears of War commercial is one of the best, if not THE best, video game commercial ever made? Very memorable..

      Not just a great commercial, but also great for the song that is played in it. Apparently that song is top of the charts right now thanks to that ad.

  • These adds are not THAT bad for the most part.

    The Dikatana ones are actualy relatively good (they get you to go "wth was that! gona go look it up"), as well as sticking with you (the fact that the first one is still a meme to this day).

    A couple involve people looking stupid (he is right on that, make people in your adds look COOL, not stupid), however he lumps planescape torment in there with em, and I personaly think that the guy from that add looked awsome.

    His main complaints seem to be that he does not l
    • I'm pretty sure the planescape one is in there because he doesn't know anything about Planescape. For those that don't know, that's the protagonist, the "hero" (or "anti-hero" if you choose to play that way) of the story there, not one of the villains. He says he's not scary enough and looks kind of like he's homeless. Well, he is kind of is, he wakes up in a morgue with nothing, not even his memory, that's the start of the game. The rest of it is figuring out who he is and why people keep trying to kil

  • Do ads for anything related to PC audio/video/controllers qualify as video game ads now? Out of 24 examples, I can count the actual video game ads on one hand. Any list of the worst video game ads that doesn't include that original Zelda ad with the wierd guy jumping around screaming "Tektikes!" just isn't a proper list.

    • That ad wasn't so bad. It conveyed what the game was about, sword swinging! When I first saw it I got the impression that Zelda was some kind of action RPG style game, a genre I'd not seen on consoles. At that time I didn't own a PC so it was nice to see that some kind of RPG style game was coming to a console.

      The worst Zelda commercial is the rapping nerd one.

      "It's the Legend Of Zelda and it's really rad,
      Those creatures from Ganon are pretty bad,
      Octoroks, Tektites and Leevers too,
      But with your help our

      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by SatanicPuppy ( 611928 ) *
        Hey, clearly as an ad, that one kicked ass! Jesus, decades later you can still remember it? That's fricking genius.
  • I was gonna stop reading if the first ad wasn't the John Romero Daikatana ad. Luckily for them, it was and I smiled a little inside and remembered PC Gamer magazine. Unfortunately for them, the next thing I saw was that I was on page 2 of 12, and quickly exited that window.

  • Obligatory? (Score:4, Funny)

    by Tarlus ( 1000874 ) on Wednesday November 29, 2006 @03:02PM (#17038658)
    It's the Legend Of Zelda and it's really rad,
    Those monsters from Ganon are pretty bad.

         ...I'll stop myself.
    • And of course, the kid that introduced him to Zelda had thick glasses. Because only kids that are nearly blind know about video games.

      • Re: (Score:1)

        by Tarlus ( 1000874 )
        Because only kids that are nearly blind know about video games.

        ...and also how to rap, apparently.
  • Check it *here*. [coolinc.info] Romero himself thought it was kinda funny. By the way... if you get the joke, consider yourself a true nerd^H^H^H^Hhardcore gamer.
  • The worst, and I have this song STILL stuck in my head... the Defender jingle from the early 80's for the Atari... The Defender sees lots of alien ships The defender sees lots of radar blips Each blip is a ship On a body snatching trip! When you play a game of Atari... Have you played Atari today!

  • No real game play == bad ad (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Peter Cooper ( 660482 ) on Wednesday November 29, 2006 @04:14PM (#17039830) Homepage Journal
    Video game commercials are still bad, in the most part. It's only this year I've noticed video game commercials start to use actual in-game footage, rather than pre-rendered crap.

    Using pre-renders is also a big problem on the net. When I hear about Gran Turismo 5 (or whatever), why do they always show us great pre-rendered shots that are totally unrepresentative of what you'll see in the game? I don't want to see a preview video of the cars from the outside.. I want to see the actual gameplay footage. Yet, people drool over the pre-renders, and then when the real game hits.. it's never as good.

    I guess this is a problem with all advertising, however.. but it seems particularly dishonest with videogames to me.
  • If your article went from 1 page in length to 12 pages because it's in a 3"x4" box lined with advertisements then drawing attention to how horrible advertisements are may not be in your interest.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Tim Browse ( 9263 )

      I particularly liked the way he bitched about the lack of the female assassin characters in Half-Life, and used this as his entire basis for mocking the ad, and then obviously got emailed by a hundred thousand gamers saying "Dude, did you even play the game?"

      I can't imagine anyone who actually played that bit of HL to forget the ninjas - it wasn't like they were easy to kill. Most people's first encounter with them was accompanied by the words "What the hell was that?!", usually quickly followed by some k

  • it was a Neo-Geo add which ran in Video Games & Computer Entertainment back in the 90's. There was a picture of a yuppie type and a hot chick in lingerie and a caption along the lines of "He used to spend all night playing with me."

  • There was one ad for Jet Set Radio Future that I had seen on German TV some years ago, unknowingly what game that might be. I thought it was cool as hell, but I only saw it once and never again. I didn't care for consoles back then, but when I bought my used Dreamcast and got the original Jet Set Radio with it, I remembered the ad and, luckily, found the full-length clip [youtube.com].

    That, and the Polaroid: "Resignation" [youtube.com] ad were the only ones that kept stuck in my mind long enough to make me search for them years after

  • There are a few shinny stars when it comes to videogames Ads. Take the SOCOM 2 Ad, i was dying the first time i saw that. Jester? Doh, Jester just killed me! What's he doing?

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