The 50 Weirdest Moments in PC Gaming 147
Via GameSetWatch, a feature on the personal site of the well-traveled games journalist Richard Cobbett. The Circe Du Strange details fifty of the strangest, most out-of-place game elements in the history of PC gaming. From classic text adventures to games released in the last few years, the piece outlines some mighty odd design decisions. "30) Command and Cretaceous - While the original Command and Conquer suffered from really bad expansion packs, the first offered a particular entertaining secret. Adding the -funpark parameter when running the game opened up a top secret set of five missions that pitted the standard armies of GDI and Nod against. dinosaurs. For no reason. There was even a briefing movie and bonus music track. And developers Westwood didn't even mention it."
Hah! (Score:2)
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Adding the -funpark parameter when running the game opened up a top secret set of five missions that pitted the standard armies of GDI and Nod against. dinosaurs. For no reason. There was even a briefing movie and bonus music track. And developers Westwood didn't even mention it.
On behalf of the last few decades, I'd like to welcome you to the computer industry and something called "easter eggs".
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I'm not aware of any size restriction. The flight simulator in [some version I forget of] Excel is considered an easter egg, and it's a whole game in an application program.
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Still...
Best. Easter. Egg. Ever.
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A couple of others they forgot (Score:2)
In the latest Thief game, it's a typical day in the slums when you have to go to an insane asylum to gather some evidence. What happens next is probably the oddest and coolest thing that I've seen in a long time. And it gets odder and more twisted as time goes on... And the way you get out of it is the best(won't spoil it). Let's just say the game's mature rating comes completely from this section.
Very dist
Heretic 2 (Score:4, Interesting)
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Raven had an interesting theme of easter eggs in the cheat codes. For Heretic, using Doom's godmode cheat would result in "Trying to cheat? That's one..." printing on the screen; type it two more times and you instantly die. Entering the all-weapons cheat for Doom would take away all your ammo and weapons and print "Cheater, you don't deserve weapons" on the screen. Of course, there were functional cheat codes, but they were different f
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Oh, except it replaced IDSPISPOPD with IDCLIP (Noclip mode). It still used IDDQD (god mode) and IDKFA (All weapons)...
It's sad that I still have them memorized...
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I don't know about Heretic 2 - but in the original Heretic if you typed "IDDQD" (invincibility in Doom) then it would kill you instantly. I don't remember what the message was, but it did say something just before it killed you.
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Although it doesn't run too well under XP and I'm too lazy to start Dosbox, I ran the game. It says "trying to cheat, eh? now you die!"
Re:Heretic 2 (Score:5, Informative)
Your viewpoint dropped about 4 feet, your weapons vanished and instead of hands in your view, there was a great big doggie snout. If I remember correctly, you gibbed people when you bit them. It was ridiculous, excessive and fun. Then again, so was pretty much everything else in Rise of the Triad.
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Came with a level designer software, all the broken out files for the sound effects, music, etc. You got a hell of a lot for your $30.
Re:Heretic 2 (Score:5, Insightful)
The real fun bit behind that code was what we noticed one day in the midst of one of our regularly scheduled slaughterfests. Eyeballs from slain baddies would not just fly through the air--rather, they would hit the screen and actually slide down it from their point of impact. And best of all, by pausing the game to admire a particularly messy room-clearing, we noticed that the severed arm careening through the air at us was giving us the finger. Little tidbits like this, among other things like the -dopefish command-line option, smiley faces on charred skeletons, and a super-secret bonus item that was actually the lead developer's head floating in midair and making loud belching noises, are why I yearn for the gaming days of old when games were made by teams of 10 people instead of entire corporate divisions where nobody knows anybody. The humor and charm was lost somewhere along the way.
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I discovered, when playing around with multiplayer one day (no internet at that time, so I used the bots) that you could alter the game's gravity setting. Cool.
I also discovered, shortly thereafter, that a bug in the game caused gravity settings to carry over into single-player mode.
In the game's 2nd level, there is a very short hallway one space wide, filled with several guards. 5 or 6 at least, all sardine-canned into this tiny corridor.
You may remember the Dark
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Sorry for the double reply, but I forgot to add: The weapon you were thinking of was the Drunk Missile. A particularly inventive and nasty bit of machinery as the missiles headed off in random directions for a second or two, and then they became heat-seekers. Nothing like letting loose a barrage of them and seeing one hapless guard across one of the large rooms in that game try to get away from 20 missiles all out for his blood. Combining that one with the wide-open spaces was a great way to see the "gib
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51: This story ending up in Politics (Score:5, Funny)
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google cache (Score:4, Informative)
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Finally in the past couple years I found a cheat, and downloaded and emulator and played it. Apparently there was a step where you needed to get an item from a creature that descends in a
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Yeah, I remember that game.
Trying to kill that damned werewolf was a fricking PITA.
You basically had a nice game of cat & mouse in some house where you run up the stairs, and he almost always goes up after you, then you go down, he follows, you go up, he follows, etc, all to get to the one in a few dozenth time when the bloody werewolf would have decided not to follow you up (maybe he was puffed?
Sounds like a good idea tho. might find
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Easy... Baldurs Gate 2 (Score:5, Interesting)
In the middle of a cave/dungeon you encounter another party of adventurers, a low-level party; they're bragging about having Magic Missile, etc. (you're about level 8-9 at this point i think). one of them walks up to you and starts talking, the conversation goes south and you end up fighting each other, and you destroy them with no effort...
once you kill them all you see the "Loading save-game" window appear and there you both are BEFORE the fight. they choose a different course of action this time around and you part ways
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It's a little painful to go back, however, as things like the graphics are very dated by today's standards.
I wonder if anybody has recreated BG2 with the NWN2 engine ... that could be very cool.
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In Throne of Bhaal, you should be more like level 18-19. You _started_ BG2 at level 8 :-)
Corrections and precisions (Score:5, Funny)
-Your party is roughlty level 30 to 35 at this point; epic heroes that slay dragons and eat demiliches for breakfast. Of course, this only make the situation funnier
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I don't remember what the game was called, something with the word "Immortal" in the title I believe.
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I only played the NES and Genesis version, but I seem to recall that the coffee thing was not in the Genesis one. Was this an NES exclusive?
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"In the worm room in level six, there is a staircase that leads down to a hallway full of programmers. If you bring them coffee, they will be pleased and give you a secret item
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Duke Nukem had a location you could only get to by cheating that said "How did you get here?"
I also thought the hidden corpse of Luke Skywalker and the "Ewoks Suck" message in Dark Forces were especially nice touches.
I remember that part in "Sanitarium" (Score:2)
Am I missing something?? (Score:4, Insightful)
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TES 4: Oblivion (Score:2)
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Toro
Re:TES 4: Oblivion (Score:5, Informative)
Creepy, yes, but it's not for no reason.
Background: Dark Elves began as the Chimer, and when they broke from the Altmer, their new religion was a mix of ancestor worship and Daedra worship. The Tribunal put the nix on most of the Daedra worship (except for the four "good" Daedra) while still permitting the veneration of the dead. However, worship of the other, nastier Daedra Lords never wholly went away.
The Alchemist at Skingrad is a worshiper of Sanguine, the Daedric Lord of Depravity. Of course, a religious interest in ever-greater acts of wickedness would lead her in one particular direction -- since there's nothing more depraved in Dark Elf culture than getting overly friendly with the deceased. The Dunmer are notoriously relaxed when it comes to sexual behavior, but that sort of thing is religiously offensive to say the least. So, the alchemist fled Morrowind for places where tombs aren't so carefully guarded and constantly visited.
Easter egg: She's had to move once before, though -- you can see what's left of her last business location, east of Imperial City, just past the far shore of the Rumare. It's near a three-way crossroads, the easterly of which heads towards Cheydinhal, I think. Easter egg inside an easter egg: everything's burned to the ground, all except for some potions of fire resistance. Heh!
Anyway, she's placed there to give you directions to Sanguine's shrine, which is fairly out-of-the-way for obvious reasons, and she had to have a backstory to explain how she would know the location of the hidden shrine.
The TES guys don't fuck around when it comes to backstory.
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Too bad they didn't put that kind of effort into the main story line.
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Toro
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Not exactly enormous, but yeah. Her asking you what the fine is in this province is supposed to be your clue to come back to her when you're looking for Daedric shrines. Plus it's a joke.
Too bad they didn't put that kind of effort into the main story line.
Umm. They did. The backstory behind the main quest is gigantic, and
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Besides, when I claimed "they didn't put that kind of effort into the main story line," I meant MAIN STORY LINE. Not backstory to the main story. I felt the detail of the backstory for the "necrophilia" comment that you just related was NOT present in the actual primary campaign.
Outside of the books, in dialogue and in deeds. You know, the ACTUAL story. The game.
(To be fair, it's really a very *tiny* part of an otherwise pretty good game)
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Toro
Phantasmagoria (Score:2)
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Fahrenheit (Score:4, Interesting)
CONTAINS SPOILERS:
Lukas Kane, the main character, dies early in the game, but like Neo comes back to life with SuperMatrixPowers. Later in the game as the earth is about to end, there is a tender love scene between him and policewoman Carla Valenti (this scene was removed in the US version of course...). First I thought - nice, a fairly adult treatment of love and sex (unlike Samantha's earlier strip scene in front of Tyler), sort of a "two people at the end of the world seeking comfort in each other" thing. But then I remembered - Lukas is dead! People in the game have commented that he doesn't breathe anymore, his skin is cold and he doesn't have a pulse! Sooo wrong... The Wikipedia article has a nice explanation for the botched ending though.
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I really liked Clive Barker's Undying, and the fact that he replaced the OMG LOL B4da55 Doom clone main character of "Duke Magnus Wolfram" with someone who was a lot more realistic and vulnerable [clivebarker.com] - important in a horror game.
Have to replay Vampire as a Malkavian I see.
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Yes, I was also very sad that they closed. If you are a fan of strong writing, check out Neverwinter Nights 2, some of the people at Troika started working at Obsidian I believe. It was a very buggy game, but now with 6 major patches out it is starting to be stable and polished enough to be truly enjoyable. There are some really good mods in the works too, these people [roguedao.com] are making a trilogy of adventures in the Planescap
Missing from the list (Score:1)
Also Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Master Quest - The Lord Jabu-Jabu's belly level. Every switch (which in the first game had been nice normal crystals) has been replaced by a cow, usually sticking half out of the wall or ceiling.
Vanguard, URT mission (Score:2)
A Long Awaited Drinking Party (Score:3, Interesting)
Ultima Online (Score:3, Interesting)
I never played UO, but that story was fun to read from the "bad guy's [aschulze.net]" perspective
Thanks for that excellent article (Score:1)
Vampire: Bloodlines (Score:1)
this tops everything on that list (Score:2)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TSGUf1xbF8 [youtube.com]
pwned
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Llamasoft (Score:3, Funny)
Worse still (Re:Llamasoft) (Score:2)
Why the heck did he describe Revenge of the Mutant Camels when talking about Attack of the Mutant Camels? That ain't journalism, my friend. Or was he just on the same stuff as Jeff?
HAL.
You do not belong here (Score:2)
Then there's the Holy Grail game where after the Black Knight kills you it asks if you want to go back to the moment before you die. If you select yes, it shows you keel over and die again. Then the game asks if you'd like to go back to a few minutes before you die and you can continue as normal.
Diablo II - The secret cow level.... (Score:1)
The halberd wielding cows chasing you going mooo!! was hilarious.
If you hearded them together, you could use the exploding corpse spell to virutually annihilate them.
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Not dinosaurs... Ants! (Score:2, Informative)
The wikipedia article for the expansions appears to confirm this wikipedia article [wikipedia.org][wikipedia.com]
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I tried to paste the translation here, but the comment lame-ness filter is stopping me (too much whitespace). Go to http://www.the-spoiler.com/STRATEGY/Westwood/red.a lert.2.html [the-spoiler.com] and search the page for the phrase "5.4.1 Morse code in the manual".
My favorite board gaming ones (Score:4, Interesting)
My two favorites (I have both games)
You can't commit suicide with a .45 magnum in Car Wars. People have 3 hit points- 1 wounds you, 2 makes you unconcious and 3 kills you. A heavy pistol does 2 points of damage...
In a civil war game about the battle of Pea Ridge, there's a rule called "Designer's Great Great Grandfather". The DGGG was an officer in one confederate unit in the game. Every time that unit takes damage, you have to see if the DGGG is killed. If so, the game ends instantly without a winner since it's obvious the game couldn't possibly exist
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Earthworm Jim (Score:2)
The boss of that level? First a quiz show, then a "Simon says" game with the bumpers.
Gods, I loved that game.
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The quiz show was mostly about "chip butty" (a french-fry and ketchup sandwich, i think) and there was a good question in there about "misery".
Q: "Does misery love company?" (The correct answer is "No, Misery is the show-me state!", IIRC. If it's not the correct answer, it's certainly the best.)
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The quiz show was mostly about "chip butty" (a french-fry and ketchup sandwich, i think) and there was a good question in there about "misery".
Q: "Does misery love company?" (The correct answer is "No, Misery is the show-me state!", IIRC. If it's not the correct answer, it's certainly the best.)
wow, he even got Vangers! (Score:2)
FOR ME: (Score:2)
apple 2 broderbund game Karateka (Score:2)
If you inserted the disk upside-down, the game would boot and play upside down.
Secret of Monkey Island (Score:4, Funny)
THOK
THOK
SMAK
Guybrush comes out and places back the priceless Ming to its place.
Guybrush : Better leave this here.
(proceeds back to the room)
THOK
ooh!
Hypnotize quarrelsome rhinoceros
ow!
KRASH!
Push
Sheriff : No!
Push red button
Sheriff : Not the red button!
KABOOM
WUMP
WUMP
WUMP
WUMP
Look at tremendous yak
Guybrush : It's a big, ugly, hairy yak wearing some wax lips.
Push tremendous dangerous-looking yak
Guybrush : I can't move it.
Pull tremendous dangerous-looking yak
Guybrush : I can't move it.
Pick up staple remover
Use staple remover on tremendous dangerous-looking yak
THOK
Suddenly, the painting is shocked and Guybrush is thrown through it, making
a hole in the wall.
Walk to books
Pick up Manual of Style
Guybrush : I'll need this. I must be nuts!
(jumps back into the hole he made earlier)
Pick up wax lips
THOK
KRASH
Guybrush : (loud voice) Acck!
Pick up gopher repellent
Use gopher repellent with gopher
Use gopher repellent with another gopher
Use gopher repellent with gopher horde
Use gopher repellent with funny little man
SMAK!
KRASH
Look at fabulous idol
Guybrush : It's beautiful!
Open lock
Guybrush : I can't open it. Uh, oh!
Pick up heavy chair
Use heavy chair with sheriff
THOK
Guybrush appears from the door on the second floor.
Guybrush : That should hold him for a while! If only I had a file I could get the idol!
Morrowind Dweemer implied sex act (Score:2, Interesting)
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Depends on how you define "oddball"... I can remember finding that "invisible dot" in the Atari 2600 Adventure game and thinking "WTH?!?"
Not just easter eggs (Score:4, Interesting)
E.g., they pick on the fact that the main character in Undying was designed to be appealing to a gay man. Well, having played the game, you wouldn't notice it, and certainly not think there's anything weird about that character. He's not camp or a cross-dresser, he's just a young and fit Irish soldier, fresh from the trenches. He'd probably look just as sexy to a woman too, and, honestly, there was no point where I thought "dude, this guy looks gay". If anything, it's a fit and macho kind of a character, not the effeminate kind. I can live with playing a character like that.
If I'm allowed the detour, though, reading the whole story just gives me one of the details that _do_ make me say, "thank goodness they asked a real novellist for help." I mean, I knew they had originally crammed all the worst cliches in a game until Clive Barker talked them out of it. Now I find out that the protagonist was supposed to be some _count_ too. How cliche is that in a supernatural theme?
E.g., under "The Art of Evil" they pick on... not something from an actual game, but on Sony's reaction to a player's distasteful fanfic about Dark Elves.
E.g., "Twisty History" has them pick on the fact that Sierra heavily photoshopped a castle, instead of using the real castle. Well, gee, ya think that games might not really match reality? I never would have guessed
E.g., "Strumpets of Silicon" picks on erotic clips or movies where some porn star dressed like Lara Croft. I'm kinda at a loss how that would count as weird, much less as weird in _gaming_.
E.g., "The Madness of Malkavians" is even weirder in itself, picking on something that's expected and a trait of that bloodline. Newsflash: Malkavians _are_ mad, and ghouls _do_ pick the traits of their master. It's like elves having long ears or dwarves being short: that's the whole idea. It would have been weird if you played a Malkavian and you were perfectly sane.
Plus, if they actually wanted to pick on something weird from that particular game, there's a scene where you talk with the news anchor on your TV set, and he tells you a joke.
E.g., "Plot, The Magic Dragons" sees them picking on the fact that an old PC RPG's has... quests. No, really, you end up doing quests for some dragons instead of instantly hacking and slashing them, and everything else that moves! How weird is that? Well, not at all. Just because PC RPGs for a long while meant just dumb hack and slash, doesn't make quests weird.
E.g., "The Mother / Whore Dichotomy" picks on the fact that Roberta Williams posed as Mother Goose on the cover of one game, and as one of the supposedly naked girls (you can't actually see anything naughty, if you ask me) in a jacuzi on the cover of Softporn Adventure.
First of all, it seems to me like it's a false dichotomy in the first place, as one can jolly well be both if she so chooses. (Even prostitutes and porn stars have kids, you know. Plus, where do you think pregnant porn comes from?)
Second, and more importantly, being seen from the collarbone upwards in a jacuzi doesn't make one a whore. Now if she had sex on camera or something, that might qualify as a "whore", but if showing a bit of skin makes one a whore, then you've just filed 99% of actresses and singers as "whores". It takes a mindset worst than even the biblethumping belt to go that far. And having worked on a softcore game doesn't make one a whore. It can mean anything ranging from "oh well, I'm not going to hand in my resignation just because the company makes a softcore game", to not giving a damn about it, to actually having some interest in softcore... which isn't horribly weird even among women. At any rate, it's ju
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I remember Harry The Lard over at AICN describing "Blade 2" as like some sort of orgy, which is a pretty horrible image in and of itself.
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I'm too lazy to search for that story right now. (Plus I'm not sure