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Blizzard Shows Off Diablo III Archivist Class, WoW Dance-Off 119

It's been a busy day for the folks at Blizzard, who have released major announcements for several different games. The next Diablo III class has arrived: the Archivist. Despite their frail appearance and hunched, labored movement, they are quite deft at launching Quest Bolts at nearby foes, or conjuring a whirling Lore-nado of spinning books. Loud monsters can be silenced with a devastating Shush attack. Blizzard also put Starcraft II's latest unit on display, the Terra-Tron, which is a giant, robot uber-weapon assembled from the buildings in your base. Finally, for World of Warcraft they announced two features that have been requested by players for years: a battle of dances, where you can show off your avatar's hippest moves, and the ability to 'p1mp' your mounts. (Not sure exactly what that means, since I don't speak elvish, but there's a Nightsaber with a cannon — holy crap!)
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Blizzard Shows Off Diablo III Archivist Class, WoW Dance-Off

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  • by Niris ( 1443675 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @07:28PM (#27425107)
    I get a completely different image from "pimping a mount" than putting a cannon on a horse .
    • by Chris Burke ( 6130 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @07:34PM (#27425161) Homepage

      Yeah I would think it would rather involve putting the cannon in the horse.

    • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

      by soren202 ( 1477905 )

      Yeah, it was more like putting a cannon IN a horse.

      Except without the "se".

      Anyway, although the videos are rather impressive, Blizzard needs to put some more work in to the believability of their April Fools jokes.

      For instance, a joke about how they're abandoning SC II because of bloating development costs and numerous unforeseen delays, or that Diablo III will cost $80 instead of the normal price due to the extended re-playability worked into the game would be gold.

      This, however, will only get amusing resp

      • Blizzard needs to put some more work in to the believability of their April Fools jokes.

        Or they could just do the same old, same old since Blizzard keeps an all in good fun attitude about April Fools rather than doing something that could potentially annoy their tremendously whiny fan base.

        • Well, it's fun for the rest of us.

          Besides, do you honestly think that anyone in Blizzard's fanbase is NOT going to buy whatever they put out? Seriously, I'm pretty sure that, had Diablo 3 been released the day after the controversial pics were released, it still would have sold faster than the Bible in Alabama after a terrorist attack and the introduction of a gay marriage bill in congress.

          • Seriously, I'm pretty sure that, had Diablo 3 been released the day after the controversial pics were released, it still would have sold faster than the Bible in Alabama after a terrorist attack and the introduction of a gay marriage bill in congress.

            But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.

    • Are you sure you're not thinking of "mounting your pimps"?

  • by Evardsson ( 959228 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @07:28PM (#27425113) Homepage
    ... than to mount your pimp. Unless you are into that sort of thing.
  • by Phu5ion ( 838043 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @07:33PM (#27425155)
    No wonder Blizzard games take so long to ship. Get back to work you hippies!
  • by Ron_Fitzgerald ( 1101005 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @07:34PM (#27425163)
    The Archivist seems to be a slow but powerful character. From the video his spells are devastating to the individual character but he himself is weak. It looks as though he may be able to use different canes to perhaps make him faster, unsure.
    I also took note of the new HUD and how delicious it looks. Look at the Mana graphic!
    • Temp fix: putting flame decals on his cane to make him appear faster.

    • by Eberlin ( 570874 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @08:25PM (#27425559) Homepage
      Working at a library's local history room, I always fancied myself a necromancer because we symbolically re-animate the dead. I think, though, that this archivist class would be so much more awesome! Yes, no blood golem, bone spear, iron maiden, decrepify, bone spirit, and a cool shrunken head, but c'mon, you get Lore-nado and Shush!!! I can't wait to ask each monster their birthdate, line them up in descending order by age, then proceed to systematically lore-nado each one, writing down the exact time and location of each kill to be filed later in the Zakarum archives. Mmmmm, paperwork!
      • The first thing I thought of when I read about the archivist was the NetHack Tourist class, and how I always thought that there should be a "Librarian" class, as well, considering how many books and scrolls are in the game.

        The Librarian would be able to identify all scrolls and books, but unable to discern b/c/u status. However, the Librarian could improve NO weapon skills except one - Thrown weapon. And of course, books would be quiverable. The Librarian also would have a very restricted encumbrance lim

  • by crazybit ( 918023 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @07:34PM (#27425165)
    owned by Cesar Millan.

    He is a very powerful magician too.
  • WTF (Score:2, Insightful)

    by XPeter ( 1429763 ) *
    All this hype around D3 is getting on my nerves. If D3 comes out before SC2 I'm boycotting Blizzard games I understand SC2 has to be sports worthy but still...10+ years?
  • I'm sooooo ready for April 1 to be over. Midnight in which timezone counts as the terminator for this boring ass day on slashot????????????????
  • I was definitely getting a Diablo 1 Sorcerer vibe with the Quest bolt sounding and moving almost exactly like the D1 fire bolt spell. It'll have more action and better graphics but it certainly appears to fit with the Diablo style, much more so then the first gameplay vids. Perhaps they took the fan criticism to heart =)
  • here is an explanation of April Fools: []

  • lol-nado (Score:2, Interesting)

    by SendBot ( 29932 )

    the archivist class actually sounds pretty cool - I'm still eager to try out the witchdoctor.

    Do I get my achievement yet?

  • Fuck April Fools (Score:1, Insightful)

    Fuck these terrible April Fool's day articles. Slashdot, the rule is one prank a year on April 1st. Spamming the front pages with these shitty unfunny useless articles makes me wish Conficker had actually taken down the internet today.
  • New Starcraft Unit (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Korin43 ( 881732 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @08:06PM (#27425441) Homepage
    Am I the only one who wishes the Terra-tron was a real unit?
    • No.
    • by Ihmhi ( 1206036 )

      The Transformers, Beast Wars, and Power Rangers quotes shamelessly included make it all the more worthwhile.

      "Terra-tron... TERRORIZE!"

      "More... than meets... the eye!"


    • by bar-agent ( 698856 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @09:03PM (#27425843)

      They should -- and could -- totally include this in the game. You'd give up your unit-building capabilities and resources, but in return, you get to

      Finish him!

      In other words, once you know you've won the match, you could break out the Terra-tron and rub it in. A battle finishing move. Of course, there'd have to be something like that for the Zerg and Protoss as well. Let's see...

      For the Protoss, some sort of chain lightning effect, culminating in a singularity; or maybe a big mothership whose shadow covers the screen warps in and starts zapping. And for the Zerg, a Cerebrate pod meteors in from orbit, or tunnels in Bugs-Bunny-style, and tentacles whip out of the ground and wreak havoc; or maybe the Creep comes alive and devours everything in its path.

    • For some reason, I came into this year thinking the Tauren Space Marine would be impossible to top... I was wrong.

      • by reidiq ( 1434945 )
        What's sad is that we had that Tauren Space Marine last year..... last year! And now we have the Terra-tron this year..... WHY ANOTHER YEAR OF WAITING!!!! GIVE ME MY STARCRAFT II NOW!!!!!!!! /vent
  • great quote (Score:5, Funny)

    by OglinTatas ( 710589 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @08:07PM (#27425443)

    from the archivist's dialog wheel:

    "Test me and I will chronicle your pain"

    That's just begging to be my sig.

    • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

      by illumin8 ( 148082 )

      from the archivist's dialog wheel:

      Did you notice they also had two options: "Stay a while," and "Listen." This is clearly a nod to the first NPC you encounter in Diablo I, an old man that said "Stay a while and Listen," and was probably the first dialog you hear in the game. At the time Diablo I came out, it was revolutionary as a computer RPG that had actual voice acting, in a limited form. NPCs had a line of dialog they would say when you first clicked on them.

      • And that NPC said it every time. I so wanted to kill him just to shut him up. I think there was a mod where we could kill him. Been a while I forget.

        But with Diablo 1, put up the mana shield, use mana steal on hit, use life steal in hit and kill every thing in sight. What a way to unwind after a stress filled day.

        I played the game the regular way (no cheating) and the cheating way depending on my mood. I was so looking for a way to upload a picture to change the monsters to look like people I knew. Now that

  • The most swashbuckling arthritic educated Pirate/Archivist on the high seas. The eye patch doesn't stop him from his intense studying or crabby librarian sushing, only from the stereoscopic vision necessary to evade the dungeons many perils. With his colorful garments and handcrafted cane, he is sure to be the smash hit of the collectible figurine world and our favorite new DIII character.
  • by Myrcutio ( 1006333 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @09:06PM (#27425863)
    The archivists bread and butter attack against creatures younger than him is a constant barrage of "Get off my lawn!", strangely effective against herds of halberd wielding bovines.
  • I'm now an april fool!

  • In related news, D&D is also getting new class, the Witchaloks [], designed by the Penny Arcade crew.

    • I should convince the DM to allow me to play a Witchalok character. I've been told that if I show up with a NPC class character I'd be forced to play it, so maybe. :)
  • But, I WANT IT (Score:5, Insightful)

    by dmomo ( 256005 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @09:31PM (#27425999)

    How can you show us something awesome and then say "ha ha just kidding"? Jokes are meant for absurd things. This was just a cock tease.

    • by Impeesa ( 763920 )
      I don't think I'm the only one who typically finds Blizzard's jokes to be at least as exciting as their real news. Strip away just a little bit of the extra silliness and I would love to play a bard, or a two-headed ogre, or have a pimped-out mount.
      • The best/worst thing about all the April Fool's I've seen from Blizz is that every one makes me laugh, then think "That would actually be crazy fun!"

        2headed ogre in WoW? Yes please!

      • The Pandaran of Warcraft 3 were originally an April Fool's Joke. They were so popular that they actually put them in the final version of the expansion pack.

        Too bad they didn't make it into WoW, except for an odd reference here and there.

  • ...was the best part of my day. Of course, that's just because they said "Thatmushroom is as big as a Cadillac!"

    That's right, I was just called morbidly obese by Blizzard. And it was awesome.

  • The Mice, Shall Click...
  • They put a lot of work into this April Fools joke.. Made videos and such, wow. If this isn't a joke, it's the most stupid class ever. A Librarian??? C'mon now.
  • I could really get into an archivist character, actually. Playing Diablo 1 as a wizard, nothing was more exciting than finding a library room. (New spells, yay!)

"Conversion, fastidious Goddess, loves blood better than brick, and feasts most subtly on the human will." -- Virginia Woolf, "Mrs. Dalloway"