Blizzard Shows Off Diablo III Archivist Class, WoW Dance-Off 119
It's been a busy day for the folks at Blizzard, who have released major announcements for several different games. The next Diablo III class has arrived: the Archivist. Despite their frail appearance and hunched, labored movement, they are quite deft at launching Quest Bolts at nearby foes, or conjuring a whirling Lore-nado of spinning books. Loud monsters can be silenced with a devastating Shush attack. Blizzard also put Starcraft II's latest unit on display, the Terra-Tron, which is a giant, robot uber-weapon assembled from the buildings in your base. Finally, for World of Warcraft they announced two features that have been requested by players for years: a battle of dances, where you can show off your avatar's hippest moves, and the ability to 'p1mp' your mounts. (Not sure exactly what that means, since I don't speak elvish, but there's a Nightsaber with a cannon — holy crap!)
"Pimp your mounts" (Score:5, Funny)
Re:"Pimp your mounts" (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah I would think it would rather involve putting the cannon in the horse.
Re: (Score:2)
I just want to be able to put a bunch of speakers on my mount and be able to upload some obnoxious thudding rap music so I can cruise around Orgrimmar. Kodo low-rider.
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:1)
Re: (Score:2)
That's Admiral Obvious to you. I was promoted when I observed that water was still wet and shit still stunk.
Re: (Score:2)
Well, I suppose that depends on the quest [hooha.org].
Re: (Score:2, Insightful)
Yeah, it was more like putting a cannon IN a horse.
Except without the "se".
Anyway, although the videos are rather impressive, Blizzard needs to put some more work in to the believability of their April Fools jokes.
For instance, a joke about how they're abandoning SC II because of bloating development costs and numerous unforeseen delays, or that Diablo III will cost $80 instead of the normal price due to the extended re-playability worked into the game would be gold.
This, however, will only get amusing resp
Re: (Score:1)
Blizzard needs to put some more work in to the believability of their April Fools jokes.
Or they could just do the same old, same old since Blizzard keeps an all in good fun attitude about April Fools rather than doing something that could potentially annoy their tremendously whiny fan base.
Re: (Score:1)
Well, it's fun for the rest of us.
Besides, do you honestly think that anyone in Blizzard's fanbase is NOT going to buy whatever they put out? Seriously, I'm pretty sure that, had Diablo 3 been released the day after the controversial pics were released, it still would have sold faster than the Bible in Alabama after a terrorist attack and the introduction of a gay marriage bill in congress.
Re: (Score:2)
Seriously, I'm pretty sure that, had Diablo 3 been released the day after the controversial pics were released, it still would have sold faster than the Bible in Alabama after a terrorist attack and the introduction of a gay marriage bill in congress.
But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.
Re: (Score:2)
Are you sure you're not thinking of "mounting your pimps"?
Better to 'p1mp' your mount (Score:5, Funny)
Explains a lot (Score:4, Funny)
Re: (Score:2)
Some of that stuff looks like it took a legitimate amount of work. I'm sure this delayed starcraft and diablo by a year each.
Re: (Score:1)
Re:Explains a lot (Score:5, Insightful)
Doesn't Diablo III play itself? Diablo I and Diablo II are technically the best selling computer RPGs of all time, though I use that term loosely. You just click, hope for random loot drops, and click some more. And now Diablo III, you don't drink potions because that is too complicated. So you just click, while mana and life basically auto-replenish. Clearly this was a game that needed to be even simpler.
Re: (Score:2)
But then, Blizzard's super secret backdoor contract with the mouse industry might be broken. /me has broken countless mice playing D1/D2.
Re: (Score:1)
Sometimes you just want to button mash and explore.
Re: (Score:2)
So basically this is the Dennie's of computer games. Dennie's menus have pictures of everything, so even if you're too drunk to speak, you can still point at the picture of your food, then to your mouth.
Re: (Score:2)
If you don't want to think for yourself, check out this cool new entertainment device [wikipedia.org].
Re:Explains a lot (Score:5, Insightful)
Seriously, I thought this was supposed to be a decent bunch of programmers.
Re:Explains a lot (Score:5, Insightful)
DO you think they give the real programming to web 'developers'?
Re: (Score:2)
Those that couldn't program in school ended up creating websites....maybe has something to do with this!
Re: (Score:2)
An interesting class indeed (Score:5, Funny)
I also took note of the new HUD and how delicious it looks. Look at the Mana graphic!
Re: (Score:2)
Temp fix: putting flame decals on his cane to make him appear faster.
Re: (Score:2)
Or he could 'kick in the afterburner' by lighting his farts?
Re: (Score:2)
or a red S sticker
Re:An interesting class indeed (Score:5, Funny)
Re: (Score:2)
The first thing I thought of when I read about the archivist was the NetHack Tourist class, and how I always thought that there should be a "Librarian" class, as well, considering how many books and scrolls are in the game.
The Librarian would be able to identify all scrolls and books, but unable to discern b/c/u status. However, the Librarian could improve NO weapon skills except one - Thrown weapon. And of course, books would be quiverable. The Librarian also would have a very restricted encumbrance lim
I thought "Shush" was a trademark (Score:3, Funny)
He is a very powerful magician too.
Re: (Score:1, Funny)
OK, I have to know, since when did pants become a bad thing? That's what separates us from the animals, you know. Pants, and hats.
Re:Say it with me now... (Score:4, Informative)
It's simply different language between US and UK. In UK "pants" is like a very polite way of saying crap. Also since i'm posting this it is mobile phone, not cell phone. *shakes angry fist"
WTF (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:WTF (Score:5, Funny)
I will boycott Blizzard's as well..all the way up until the release SCII. mine gimme gimme.
Re:WTF (Score:4, Funny)
Yeah, 10 years is a long time. I wish they where like EA which bring out a new Madden each year. EA are truly the masters of innovative games.
Re: (Score:2)
Wow, if only there was some length of time in between. No, that would be ridiculous!
Re: (Score:1)
Re: (Score:2)
Oh noes! People are excited about the upcoming release of a sequel to a major Blizzard game!
I could bitch about the SC2 hype, and it would be just as valid as what you said.
Re: (Score:1)
GMT? (Score:1)
Can't wait for D3 (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
It's still April 1st, so apparently you don't get it.
Maybe this simple explanation is simple enough for you:
http://tinyurl.com/2g9mqh [tinyurl.com]
Now do you get it?
For are non American friends (Score:1, Troll)
here is an explanation of April Fools:
http://tinyurl.com/2g9mqh [tinyurl.com]
lol-nado (Score:2, Interesting)
the archivist class actually sounds pretty cool - I'm still eager to try out the witchdoctor.
Do I get my achievement yet?
Re: (Score:2)
Fuck April Fools (Score:1, Insightful)
Re: (Score:1)
Re: (Score:1, Insightful)
gbt/b/
New Starcraft Unit (Score:5, Insightful)
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
The Transformers, Beast Wars, and Power Rangers quotes shamelessly included make it all the more worthwhile.
"Terra-tron... TERRORIZE!"
"More... than meets... the eye!"
etc.
Re:New Starcraft Unit (Score:5, Funny)
They should -- and could -- totally include this in the game. You'd give up your unit-building capabilities and resources, but in return, you get to
Finish him!
In other words, once you know you've won the match, you could break out the Terra-tron and rub it in. A battle finishing move. Of course, there'd have to be something like that for the Zerg and Protoss as well. Let's see...
For the Protoss, some sort of chain lightning effect, culminating in a singularity; or maybe a big mothership whose shadow covers the screen warps in and starts zapping. And for the Zerg, a Cerebrate pod meteors in from orbit, or tunnels in Bugs-Bunny-style, and tentacles whip out of the ground and wreak havoc; or maybe the Creep comes alive and devours everything in its path.
Re: (Score:2)
And for the Zerg, a Cerebrate pod meteors in from orbit
Bah, that's lame. For the Zerg, I'd settle for nothing less than ... Godzilla!
Re: (Score:2)
Zillalisk!
Re: (Score:1)
For some reason, I came into this year thinking the Tauren Space Marine would be impossible to top... I was wrong.
Re: (Score:1)
great quote (Score:5, Funny)
from the archivist's dialog wheel:
"Test me and I will chronicle your pain"
That's just begging to be my sig.
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
Did you notice they also had two options: "Stay a while," and "Listen." This is clearly a nod to the first NPC you encounter in Diablo I, an old man that said "Stay a while and Listen," and was probably the first dialog you hear in the game. At the time Diablo I came out, it was revolutionary as a computer RPG that had actual voice acting, in a limited form. NPCs had a line of dialog they would say when you first clicked on them.
Re: (Score:2)
And that NPC said it every time. I so wanted to kill him just to shut him up. I think there was a mod where we could kill him. Been a while I forget.
But with Diablo 1, put up the mana shield, use mana steal on hit, use life steal in hit and kill every thing in sight. What a way to unwind after a stress filled day.
I played the game the regular way (no cheating) and the cheating way depending on my mood. I was so looking for a way to upload a picture to change the monsters to look like people I knew. Now that
Archivists==Pirates? (Score:1)
Re: (Score:1)
Get off my...moo? (Score:4, Funny)
The archivists bread and butter attack against creatures younger than him is a constant barrage of "Get off my lawn!", strangely effective against herds of halberd wielding bovines.
Guess What? (Score:2)
I'm now an april fool!
Re: (Score:1)
Congrats. Of course I'll post just for the achievement as well.
Re: (Score:1)
I will reply to your achievement whoring post for my own personal achievement whoring.
Fear the achievement pimp hand.
Re: (Score:1)
This thread is just an achievement point circle jerk.
Re: (Score:1)
Re: (Score:2)
Gz :D
New D&D class (Score:2, Funny)
In related news, D&D is also getting new class, the Witchaloks [wizards.com], designed by the Penny Arcade crew.
Re: (Score:1)
But, I WANT IT (Score:5, Insightful)
How can you show us something awesome and then say "ha ha just kidding"? Jokes are meant for absurd things. This was just a cock tease.
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:1)
The best/worst thing about all the April Fool's I've seen from Blizz is that every one makes me laugh, then think "That would actually be crazy fun!"
2headed ogre in WoW? Yes please!
Re: (Score:2)
Too bad they didn't make it into WoW, except for an odd reference here and there.
The D3 dialogue wheel... (Score:1)
...was the best part of my day. Of course, that's just because they said "Thatmushroom is as big as a Cadillac!"
That's right, I was just called morbidly obese by Blizzard. And it was awesome.
Heavens will shake and (Score:1)
Re: (Score:1)
joke? (Score:1)
Re: (Score:2)
Blizzard always does that. It's just part of their, uh, charm, I guess.
Archivist (Score:2)
I could really get into an archivist character, actually. Playing Diablo 1 as a wizard, nothing was more exciting than finding a library room. (New spells, yay!)
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
Re: (Score:1, Flamebait)
What about it?
Let me guess, you're just picking a psychoactive drug out of your ass without any understanding of what it does or the side effects. Here's a hint: it typically wouldn't help with ranting lunatics.
Cancer for you and your family, now - hopefully one that's both quick AND painful.
Re: (Score:1, Troll)
No it's not; it's indicated for people with depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, and panic disorder. If it's prescribed for people who "need to calm the fuck down", it's an off-label use by a doctor who doesn't know shit about what he's prescribing.
And I'm not a badass on the internet; I'm a badass everywhere in life - I'd just as soon wish cancer on you and your family in person as over the intertubes.
Re: (Score:2)
"Badass" is one word for your shoot-from-the-lip behavior. Others more accurately describe your lack of conscious thought.
Re: (Score:2)
You need to work on your sarcasm. It lacks conviction.
Re: (Score:2)
Kid, I just bothered to read your other response to me; based on that, I can say pretty confidently on that basis, you're really not qualified to judge conviction, sincerity, or experience in anything.
Sorry I picked on you; it's hard to tell the earnest kids from the pure assholes.
Re: (Score:2)
OK, that statement makes no sense. Or should I say even less sense than your other statements.
I'd ask you to explain why you put me on your friends list, but I'm really afraid of the answer. Go bother somebody who cares.
Oh wait, you don't believe anybody cares. So please kill yourself, there's a nice fellow.
Re: (Score:1)
Ummmm.... Hitler IS a goddamn laugh riot.
The Internet was pretty much built off of Hitler jokes.
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
Now, don't you wish you wished for a big titted blond bikini model, a private jet, and a hundred million dollars?
Too late! Bwahahahahahahahah!