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Real-Life Equivalents of Video Game Weapons 137

antdude writes "This GamesRadar article compares a bunch of fantastic video game weapons and their real-life equivalents: 'There are certain things we just accept in video games. An overweight pipe technician can jump five times his own height. A first aid kit will instantly heal bullet wounds and replace lost blood. And any theoretical physics model can be cleanly packaged into a lightweight, handheld weapon with a minimum of fuss. But in certain cases, that last one isn't too far off the truth. As guano loopy as most game weaponry is, some of it definitely isn't implausible. In fact, some of it exists already. Kind of.'"
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Real-Life Equivalents of Video Game Weapons

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  • holy shit (Score:2, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward

    i want a portal gun

  • by Anonymous Coward on Monday February 22, 2010 @04:59AM (#31227094)
    ... till then its too boring to even bother looking at them.
    • I wonder if it would be ever as good as it is in Doom, where you can shoot the wall directly in front of you, and all the enemies in your field of view immediately dies.
      • When the day comes I for one welcome our Chameleon overlords.
      • Wasn't it, "and all the enemies that have that wall in their field of view immediately dies"?

        I seem to recall surviving that weapon by quickly turning away and back again at strategic moments. But of course, that was a long time ago and my mind has begun to fade...

        • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

          by Ant P. ( 974313 )

          Actually it's more like "all the enemies in the direction you were facing when you fired it from the position you're standing when it hits".

          The trick there is you can fire it down a long corridor in one direction, run off the opposite way so someone gives chase, and when it hits the wall the guy behind you gets blown to bits. Similarly you can survive it completely unhurt by getting on the opposite side of whoever fired it - as long as you know which way they fired.

          Not really something you can build in real

          • Actually it's more like "all the enemies in the direction you were facing when you fired it from the position you're standing when it hits".

            Yep. A picture [] for illustrative purposes. (From the BFG FAQ [].)

            Not really something you can build in real life.

            Alas, life does not let us shortcut the laws of physics with a code patch.:)

          • LOL, I'll remember this the next time I play multiplayer DOOM.
    • As for me, I'm still waiting for real-life Gauss rifle (along with Advanced Power Armor).
  • Crowbar (Score:5, Funny)

    by lul_wat ( 1623489 ) on Monday February 22, 2010 @05:05AM (#31227108)
    What's the real-life equivalent of the Crowbar from halflife? I always wanted one
    • And I always wanted the Quake gauntlet!
      • Quake Gauntlet is a circular saw with a lot of extension cords, and the guard removed. (or one of those battery powered ones, but they don't last long enough to win a deathmatch with)
        • Quake Gauntlet is a circular saw with a lot of extension cords, and the guard removed. (or one of those battery powered ones, but they don't last long enough to win a deathmatch with)

          ... you've tried it?

    • by DavidD_CA ( 750156 ) on Monday February 22, 2010 @05:33AM (#31227218) Homepage

      I'm waiting for the US military to develop a Raccoon Suit (from Mario) for our solders.

      But I bet those Canadians will beat us to it.

    • Re: (Score:2, Informative)

      by noidentity ( 188756 )

      What's the real-life equivalent of the Crowbar from halflife? I always wanted one

      A Wiimote [] maybe?

    • What's the real-life equivalent of the Crowbar from halflife? I always wanted one

      thank you

    • by Inda ( 580031 )
      Would you really want a crowbar? Without a rubber handle, it would hurt your hands like hell when smashing someone's head in.

      Maybe a claw hammer would be better? You'd have a two-part choice on damage too.

      Me? I just prefer running people over in my car. And why is it called 'running over'? Most of the time they bounce off the bonnet.
    • The real-life equivalent of the HL crowbar is a wrecking-bar

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by tehcyder ( 746570 )

      What's the real-life equivalent of the Crowbar from halflife?

      A crowbar.

  • * Frostmourn, hoooo!
    * BFG!
    * FatBoy from Fallout 3 :D
    * The slime shooter from unreal. It's just cool.

    • Well, if we're wandering into fantasy... the sword to have is Greyswandir — if you can get your hands on the jewel of judgement, you can scribe a whole new reality. And it sheds all types of sorcery like water.
      I think it's pretty clear that one of the most badass sci-fi weapons is Reason... but it needs some fancier heat-dissipation technology.
      Finally, the Puppeteer laser weapons (ala Ringworld) are way up there. All they need is a tunable laser to be the shiznit.

    • Well, Fat Boy is more or less real. The nuke exists and it's about the size as in the game, though the bang is bigger. However in reality they figured that the dangers of launching a nuke point blank would exceed the benefits and decided to make it artillery launched [].
  • Lasers (Score:4, Funny)

    by TandooriC ( 1525601 ) on Monday February 22, 2010 @05:48AM (#31227276)
    If they can't even make sharks with lasers how can they even hope for rail guns, tesla coils and plasma rifles?
  • Where's my portal gun? I thought we were supposed to be living in the future.
    • Where's my portal gun? I thought we were supposed to be living in the future.

      Sorry, you'll have to get in line behind Avery Brooks, who's STILL waiting for his flying car.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Monday February 22, 2010 @06:11AM (#31227406)

    Without having RTFA, I want to take this opportunity to point out that an M1 Garand (the semi-automatic infantry rifle of the U.S. military during World War II) can, in real life, be reloaded before the clip is empty. Many idiots who replicate the rifle in video games infer that, just because the clip automatically ejects when it is empty, it can only be ejected this way—that is, if you have one or two rounds left, you have to shoot them before you can take a chance to load a fresh clip. I don't know who got this wrong first, but it has turned into a pernicious meme that has reared its ugly head in every World War II shooter I have ever played.

    Proof: []

    Game designers, please do more research than playing some other WW2 game for a few hours. Diligent fans, this is an issue worth making patches for. Besides being just plain wrong, this is a substantial and unwarranted disadvantage for what is supposed to be "the greatest implement of battle ever devised." And that's according to General Patton, who (speaking of memes) knows a little more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it!

    • The M1 Garand could be reloaded before its clip was empty - but I think shooting the rest of the bullets and putting a new clip was faster.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by lyinhart ( 1352173 )
      The article doesn't features game with actual weapons like Call of Duty, it instead features weapons that don't actually exist yet as they are portrayed in games. I hope someone else does a comparison with how weapons work in Modern Warfare 2 with their real-life counterparts, kind of like how Top Gear did comparisons with Gran Turismo and real life cars.
    • by Sycraft-fu ( 314770 ) on Monday February 22, 2010 @09:09AM (#31228326)

      This list was about sci-fi/non-real weapons that in fact DO have at least a somewhat functioning real counterpart. It wasn't about real weapons that are in games. However in general, whining about real weapons not being real enough in games is silly. Games are, well, games. They aren't meant to be real. Things are done in the interest of fun. One thing you see extremely commonly is that magazines are magical. That is to say if you do a tactical reload, you keep all the ammunition that was in that mag, yet every one you insert in to the weapon is full. Of course the real world doesn't work that way, but pissing around with loading magazines is boring in a game. It is done for fun and gameplay, not for realism.

      However, I will give you your point on the M1 clip issue precisely because being able to do tactical reloads makes a game more fun. In general, I like games where you can reload your weapon as often as you like. Fire one bullet and take a guy down? Reload. The point of limited magazines/clips in a game is so that you can't just hose down enemies continuously, not to be perfectly real. So yes, it makes sense to allow you to swap out the clip in an M1 when you like.

      • Clips are different from box magazines. I don't think that extracting the left-over rounds from a Garand clip would be that unrealistic a fuss.

      • Well, except for simulations! Like Operation Flashpoint and ArmA.

    • by tzhuge ( 1031302 )
      I think it's like that in games because it was regular practice to just empty the clip. I'm under the impression that during WW2, it was a regular practice to empty the clip instead of reloading. quoting from wikipedia... " In battle, the manual of arms called for the rifle to be fired until empty, and then recharged quickly. [] "
    • In Call of Duty: World at War you can reload the M1 mid-clip.

  • by Genda ( 560240 ) <> on Monday February 22, 2010 @06:15AM (#31227414) Journal

    Railguns are amazing things... You just have to be careful not to vaporize your projectile. It was calculated that if they could get a one ounce steel ball bearing up to a speed of 20 miles per second, it would cause a fusion reaction on impact with relatively stationery object. I was working in a large industrial machine in late the 70s, I was down in the power section of a massive ring roller. The thing occupied four stories, one above ground and three stories underground, at the very bottom floor was the power system. There were three huge copper bus bars that fed into a massive 2000 amp, 1760 volt three phase breaker switch. We were working electronic and hydraulic systems, and had the false floor pulled up, and some hydraulic mechanic dropped an 8 inch adjustable wrench across the bus bars. There was a mind numbing BOOM, accompanied by a blue green flash you could almost see through the back of your head, and when the dust and debris settled, there was a quarter inch of roasted wrench sticking out of the concrete ceiling. This place was noted for really exciting industrial accidents.

    • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

      by dintech ( 998802 )

      It's fascinating to hear these kinds of war story. Thanks very much.

    • Your search - "really exciting industrial accidents" - did not match any documents. []

      Damn! I thought I was really on to something there. Boo...

      • If you click on the above link, one of the search results is this very page! Bizarre portal action? I almost feel if i looked at my puter, i could see the back of my own head!
    • by Rich0 ( 548339 ) on Monday February 22, 2010 @11:56AM (#31229942) Homepage

      Yup - at significant speeds impacts are quite impressive.

      That's why I was scratching my head at the Day the Earth Stood Still remake. In the beginning there is a ship detected flying towards earth. Somewhere in the dialog or on a display or something it was indicated that it was moving at some significant fraction of c - maybe 10-20% or something. Then they start talking about where it will land with the goal of sending in a science team to be there when it arrives. The science team is surprised that it apparently decelerated before landing so there was no big crater or anything.

      Now, if I were in a science team and I found out that an object of significant size (in this case significant means bigger than a grain of sand) was flying towards the Earth at 20% of c, the last place I'd want to be is within 1000 miles of the impact point, and for that matter within 1000 miles of the point on the Earth opposite the impact point. To be honest, I'd probably prefer just to not be on the Earth at all. However, if I did decide to be at the spot where it would "land" then I wouldn't be shocked to find out it had decelerated - the fact that I was still alive would already confirm this.

    • by Ihmhi ( 1206036 )

      I was looking around online and I happened to stumble upon a picture of that very facility! []

  • by antifoidulus ( 807088 ) on Monday February 22, 2010 @06:28AM (#31227464) Homepage Journal
    I want a bowel disrupter!
    • by DNS-and-BIND ( 461968 ) on Monday February 22, 2010 @07:50AM (#31227854) Homepage
      You know, I've often thought that the coolest thing in the world would be an orgasm gun. Aim, pull trigger, and the target has an orgasm. Would be fun to use against politicians making speeches, pompous university presidents, and so on.
      • by GigaplexNZ ( 1233886 ) on Monday February 22, 2010 @08:40AM (#31228156)
        You mean like the Orgasmo Ray from the movie Orgasmo?
      • That will cause a sharp rise of suicides.

        • That will cause a sharp rise of suicides.

          Sure people will shoot themselves, but they won't die, just experience la petite mort.

          (Well, except for the people that rig it up to auto-fire.)

      • This []

        Niven is usually classified as a Hard SF author, but he does love investigating the social aspects of his future tech. In this case, an interesting piece of triva is that in the Known Space continuity, pranking someone by hitting them with a tasp is colloquially known as "making someone's day".

        Also in the milieu is the very real prospect of stimulation addiction, even with the "hardwired version" [] of the tasp.

      • So... more like literal “screw” guns, then.

      • by Toonol ( 1057698 ) []

        The procedure involved planting electrodes in the spine and using electrical pulses to modify pain signals passing along the nerves; the patient was conscious to help the surgeon find the best position for the electrodes. Dr Meloy said: "I was placing the electrodes and suddenly the woman started exclaiming emphatically. I asked her what was up and she said, 'You're going to have to teach my husband to do that
    • by dintech ( 998802 )

      Hey, what you do on your own time...

    • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

      by sukotto ( 122876 )

      I want a Portal device

    • I want a bowel disrupter!

      Taco Bell has them for $1.29.

    • I want a bowel disrupter!

      Screw guns can do that too., what did you mean by “disruptor”?

  • by interactive_civilian ( 205158 ) <> on Monday February 22, 2010 @06:33AM (#31227488) Homepage Journal

    ...those Japanese robotic/cyborg exoskeletons are AWESOME! And, they are only going to get more awesome from here on out! Mjolnir armor, here we come!

    Even without the super-soldier aspect, the super-rescue-worker aspect is mind-boggling, not to mention the super-dock-worker. Alien queens better look out!

    • I hadn't bothered to watch the video for the powered armor before, but WOW. We have man-wearable armor today which can stop a .50 caliber round... not a .50 AP round to be fair, but hey, that's a matter of time. The problem is that it makes you about as agile as a one-legged bear. Make it support itself and maybe just double the strength of the wearer, and it will have some actual utility. Helicopters have been relegated to support roles (remember the canning of the Comanche project?) because a man with a r

      • Helicopters have been relegated to support roles (remember the canning of the Comanche project?) because a man with a rocket launcher can blow one up.

        Nothing could be farther from the truth. Its true many helicopters function in a support role, but this has always been true. However, if you look at recent major engagements, helicopters have served on the front lines, often during initial insertions, engagements, or major offensives, whereby they absolutely were not serving support roles. For example, Apaches took out many SAM and radar sites before stealth bombers and fighters began their assaults. So to say, "helicopters have been relegated to support r

        • Re: (Score:1, Interesting)

          by Anonymous Coward

          Great post... right up to the part about "bodies exploding" from being hit by .50 BMG. This fantasy used to focus on .223 (hit in the hand and the whole arm blew off; hit in the hand and the bullet ricocheted up the arm and pierced the heart, etc. ad nauseum).

          Don't get me wrong, the .50 BMG has *far* more kinetic energy than .223, .308, etc. But apply a bit of logic to what you wrote. "By the time you reach the .50 BMG, the round won't even know the body armor was there." True, it has extreme penetration. T

          • Great post... right up to the part about "bodies exploding"

            That's a statement made by many a sniper and I've seen video supporting such statements. This is not to say, "exploding" like a grenade or explosive round. Just the same, if you've ever shot a melon or a jug of water, its accurate to say they, "explode."

            Its common for people shot by .50 BMG to be dismembered, decapitated, bisected, etc. And the tissue immediately surround such wounds do more or less "explode".

          • I would be grateful if you would e-mail when you find the magazine and year to yeltrab{daht]nhoj{ayt]gmail{daht]com Thank you kindly.
        • by toolie ( 22684 )

          One of the best uses aside from utter destruction (ever seen what a November does to anybody unlucky enough to be in the house it hits?) is deterrent. Bad guys don't want to go out when Apaches are in the air. There is a reason that Apaches have been in the air around Baghdad 24/7 for several years.

    • Can the exoskeletons be used on Ninja Warrior to make for a super-gas-station-clerk?
    • by mjwx ( 966435 )

      Even without the super-soldier aspect, the super-rescue-worker aspect is mind-boggling, not to mention the super-dock-worker. Alien queens better look out!

      Non human cross-dressers have problems with power armoured construction workers. Sigh, I used to look foward to the future now it seems the more things change...

  • 1: Railgun
    2: Laser guns
    3: Plasma rifles
    4: Lightning guns
    5: Mechs
    6: Power-armour

  • I'm really getting a kick out of these comments.
    Saiga-12 []
  • what's with real-life shrink-ray, freeze-gun and devastator? or at least jetpack or holoduke!? what are they waiting for to develop these? christmas?
    • by Ihmhi ( 1206036 )

      Freeze gun: tank, host, liquid nitrogen. Damn near freezes on contact.

      Jetpacks have been done. they're just loud and inefficient.

      And if the Devastator you're talking about is the mini nuke, then let me introduce you to the Davy Crockett [].

    • what's with real-life shrink-ray, freeze-gun and devastator?

      I know you didn't mean the thing that the Constructicons combine into, but I want one of those. Only with less evil-robot and more I-ride-around-with-my-purple-and-yellow-awesomeness.

  • FGMP15 FTW (Score:2, Interesting)

    by mjwalshe ( 1680392 )
    and the concept of a Jump Commado from traveller still the most OTT unit ever put on paper.
  • Plasma guns, railguns, lighning guns, supersuits. Meh...

    I want a grenade launcher that'll let me bounce grenades around corners and off floors. My all-time favorite FPS weapon.

  • Medipack (Score:5, Insightful)

    by gmuslera ( 3436 ) on Monday February 22, 2010 @09:19AM (#31228414) Homepage Journal
    One thing that share futuristic video games with not so futuristic (i.e. from WWII and other wars) are "magical" medipacks,you get them and no matter what hits you (knives, grenades, a lot of bullets,some maybe in the head) you end with full health. Of all video games "weapons", that should be the one that would make a big difference for all.
    • by Tibia1 ( 1615959 )
      Want to know why medpacks are the same in every game? Because man is more creative when it comes to destruction. Or at least men who play video games are.
    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by Mashdar ( 876825 )
      We tested the wait-a-week-to-heal-one-hit-point model, but it did not score well with 18-24 males.
      • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

        I disagree. In the original Rainbow 6 games (even leading up to the most recent ones in Vegas) the characters in your squad could take at most a glancing shot and be harmed. Their effectiveness dropped remarkably. If they got hit again, or were unlucky enough to be hit critically, they were dead. Not revived-at-the-end-of-the-mission knocked out, but dead. Your explosives expert takes a sniper shot the the head in the first mission? You better learn how to dismantle bombs, because he's gone. The chara
  • by protodevilin ( 1304731 ) on Monday February 22, 2010 @09:50AM (#31228670)
    Say what you will about its Fallout-esque gameplay, Borderlands was the first FPS in a long time that constantly had me saying, "God I love this gun." A sniper rifle that fires explosive incindiary bullets? An SMG that shoots corrosive acid rounds? Grenades that teleport directly to their targets and burst into an electric lightning storm? Sign me up.
  • Think of all the things we learned for the people who are still alive
  • Surprised noone posted these :-)

    The "Weapons not fit for this world!" ads. [] [] []


    Best stuff ever :-)

  • by Animats ( 122034 ) on Monday February 22, 2010 @03:20PM (#31233660) Homepage

    The U.S. military has some weapons which are much better than many video game weapons. Video games need "balance", so players aren't given weapons that are too "powerful". DoD doesn't have that limitation.

    • The Grid Square Removal Service []. When a Multiple Launch Rocket System unit is loaded up with rockets with submunitions, it fires 12 rockets, each of which carries 518 submunitions, each of which explodes into a rain of fragments. This kills anything unarmored in a 1km grid square. In the U.S. Army inventory for years. Some Iraqi army units were wiped out with those things.
    • The FireFinder radar. [] Shoot at a U.S. Army unit with an indirect fire weapon, and one of these will see the incoming projectiles, calculate the location of the gun, and pass that information to the U.S. Army guns, which will duly plaster the shooter. Within one minute. Standard equipment for Army and USMC artillery units. The technology dates from the 1970s, but in newer versions, it's been shrunk down to a size a HUMMV can carry.
    • The XM-25 "smart" grenade launcher. [] Useful when someone is shooting at you from behind cover or from a window. Just point at the side of the window, and click a button to get the range with the laser rangefinder. Then fire a round though the window. The round goes through the window, and, with its timer set automatically, explodes 1-2 meters just inside, in the right place for killing the sniper. Finally, a practical weapon that shoots around corners.
    • The Combat Engineer Vehicle [], another reason the "Dune" approach to desert warfare won't work. These are tank chassis, with the armor, equipped with a bulldozer blade. They're used for removing obstacles. In the first Gulf War, they were used in Kuwait against dug-in Iraqi troops. They didn't bother shooting at them. They just bulldozed sand over their fighting holes, burying them alive.

    "If you can see it, you can hit it. If you can hit it, you can kill it." As insurgent groups have figured out, the only way to succeed against a modern military force is to have a population in which to hide, one which the US isn't willing to exterminate.

Never buy from a rich salesman. -- Goldenstern